Neuroscientists have identified three different phases of love in the human brain: desire, attraction, and attachment .
In that order, involve the release of chemicals from the brain called neurotransmitters. These neurochemical responses are embedded in the majority of human brains.
What does this activity look like? Compare the initial phase (“desire”) with the last phase (“attachment”).
Brain activity throughout the “desire” phase is significantly different from the other two. When meeting someone you liked, did you experience feelings of intense desire? Probably. Are your palms sweating or your heart pounding? This feeling is very common.
Why?
Well, this feeling is created by the brain chemical dopamine. Sweaty hands / fast heart beats are caused by adrenaline and norepinephrine. These brain chemicals travel through the body, creating these sensations.
Now let’s move on to the “attachment” phase, when two people have been in love for some time. Attachment is a wonderful thing, much more than the desire phase. Instead of releasing a flood of pleasure hormones, attachment releases oxytocin and vasopressin – the “love and feel” hormones – the chemicals in the brain responsible for a lasting relationship. and fulfilling.
This brain system provides scientific clues to how you and your partner are feeling. Love and relationships, as we all know by now, can be a mystery.
This latest research allows us to understand, at least from a biological point of view, when we are in love and that this love is reciprocal. What we do with this knowledge is ours, we can use it as a tool or we can reject it. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to interpret love; it is simply a guide.
Here are ten signs that someone really loves their partner:
1. CREATES A SENSE OF EUPHORIA
During the early stages of romantic love, we are constantly thinking about the object of our affection. It’s common at this point to obsess over the future and plan your free time around your love.
These feelings result from activity in the “ primitive neural systems ” of the brain; the systems responsible for feelings of euphoria, conduct, and recognition of rewards. This system “helps us form bonds” in the survival zone of our gray matter.
“We were created to experience the magic of love and to be pushed towards each other,” says neuroscientist Lucy Brown.
2. HE SHOWS ATTENTION
Human beings have a remarkable amount of empathy for the people we love. These intense feelings of affection, devotion, and tenderness for our loved ones are evident in the urge to care for these people. These feelings are the result of survival, protectionist mechanisms in the brain.
Although we all have different levels of awareness and empathy, humans – almost without exception – instinctively show their love and concern for their partner in one way or another.
3. ADVERSITY STRENGTHENS THE RELATIONSHIP
For people ready to establish and maintain a romantic relationship, stressful situations have been shown to heighten romantic attraction. When two people stay side by side, regardless of the circumstance, it indicates the couple’s strength of bond and commitment to each other.
Scientists attribute this behavior to dopaminergic activity in the midbrain, because delaying a “reward” has been shown to produce higher levels of the chemical after the event.
4. “DEFECTS” ARE NOT CONSIDERED AS SUCH
In the film Will Hunting, the late Robin Williams plays a therapist haunted by the death of his wife. In a touching scene, Williams gives advice on love to Matt Damon’s character:
“My wife farted when she was nervous. She had all kinds of wonderful little peculiarities. She used to fart in her sleep. One night she farted so hard that it woke the dog up… I didn’t have the heart to tell her… (She) had been dead for two years, and I remember that. You know those wonderful things? Little things that only I’m the only one to know: that’s what made her my wife… Ah, that’s the best part. “
5. HE IS DEDICATED TO YOU
There is nothing “scientific” in this last point. The word dedication cannot be rationalized through words, but feelings. It is fair to make a similar argument for love.
Likewise, the brain, while it can give us clues as to what love is biologically, may not be the only component. Love is the mutual sharing of the soul – something that can never be attributed to science because there is no “answer”.
6. HIS PRIORITIES CHANGE FOR THE BETTER
It is common for people in love to review their priorities. While we mostly associate a shift in priorities with something positive, it can also be something less admirable. It is important to observe how a person reorganizes their lifestyle. Is she making changes out of genuine desire, or as a way to hide her true identity?
7. HE PUSHES HIS PARTNER TO BECOME A BETTER
No one likes to see someone they love not live up to their potential. Of course, that includes two people who are in love with each other.
When your partner tries to motivate you, it means that the brain’s most important reward pathways are still moving. Ironically, when your partner’s frustration about your lack of progress wears off, it’s worth asking how they’re feeling.
8. HE IS AT EASE IN THE PRESENCE OF HIS PARTNER
During the early stages of a partnership, it’s common for a couple to go out. However, as the relationship progresses, staying home and enjoying each other’s company becomes much more appealing.
The brain craves novelty, but it is also content with routine. If you like it, no matter where you are or what you’re up to, that’s a good sign.
9. HIS UNICITY CAPTIVATES YOU
The person is perceived as new and interesting, and their subtle peculiarities are taken into account by our senses and cherished. Often there is a surge of energy, which reflects the “desire phase”, and we experience a deep emotional desire for the person.
Most of the pleasant symptoms experienced in this phase result from the influx of dopamine in multiple areas of the brain.
10. THE BONDS ARE STRENGTHENING
Feelings of love or affection are necessary for the brain to elicit any underlying desire for human connection. Humans are very social creatures, as we know, and the innate desire for an intimate relationship exemplifies this fact.
True love has a very powerful connection. The love we feel for our partner changes the relationship from informal to more intimate and removes the desire to act out of self-interest or selfishness.
