Men aren’t some superior gender who are impervious to insecurities. Men are people, and that means they’re bound to have insecurities and personality flaws. I know you want your man in shining armor to come and take your hand, but even he will have some issues of his own.
Now, having insecurities isn’t a negative thing, actually, I think it’s impossible to be completely secure with yourself. But there is a line between having them and letting them control your life.
Have you ever had a jealous boyfriend? Well, jealousy is an insecurity. Now, we all can become jealous, however, sometimes that emotion can absorb us and make us say and do crazy things.
I once knew a girl who’s boyfriend locked her in his closet while he went out to the club – that’s an extreme insecurity, and well, is also wildly abusive. Geesh, if that’s not one of the biggest traits of insecure men, then I don’t know what is. But the point is, you can see how these insecurities can also affect your life as well.
Here are the traits of insecure men
Some of these traits, like jealousy, can masquerade around as love. Like, “of course, he’s jealous – he loves and doesn’t want to lose me!” But take a closer look. These are the traits of insecure men that you should be mindful of.
#1 He’s highly protective. When Twilight came out, I thought Edward was the hottest guy. He was protective, he took care of Bella, he was her man. Now, I find this extremely possessive and overprotective. This is a huge warning sign. If he won’t let you walk to the grocery store alone because he’s worried you may get hurt, this guy needs to take a chill pill.
#2 He wants to change the way you look. He doesn’t like the way you look. Okay, he does, but he doesn’t want other people to like the way you look.
So, he’ll tell you that he doesn’t like the way you dress, he’ll tell you to change your hair – all these things are a form of control. He wants to make you, how he thinks you should look. Nah, that’s not going to happen.
#3 He doesn’t have many friends. Yeah, which, I sadly understand. I personally wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who claims everyone as their own personal property. You end up being an emotional slave to them, walking on eggshells, just so you don’t hurt their feelings.
#4 He needs to make it known that he’s with you. While this isn’t always one of the traits of insecure men, it sure can be. I mean, you’re in a relationship, but he needs everyone to know that. He needs it to be on Facebook, Instagram, any social media where another man may see you… he wants to be in every photo. When you introduce him to people, he has to announce that he’s your boyfriend. Why? Because he’s claiming territory.
#5 You’re his entire world. Of course, it feels amazing when a man is in love with you and sees no one else but you. But then there’s this moment when you realize that you’re the only thing he sees, but literally, the only thing.
You’re basically his private property, you’re his world. He owns you, he’s possessive – which at the beginning, you found attractive, but now it’s too much.
#6 He’s jealous of other men. If another man looks at you or hits on you, he’s up in arms. He becomes defensive, wants to fight the guy, or blames you for what happened. The guy simply can’t handle the thought that other people find you attractive. Ugh, like, grow up, man.
#7 He monitors what you do and where you are. He wants to know what you’re doing every second of the day, where you are, and who you’re with. He needs to know your agenda because, if not, he assumes you’re off hanging out with another guy… cheating on him. This guy needs to control every breathing moment. If he could watch you sleep, he would.
#8 He brings up your exes. Maybe you and your ex have a decent relationship, but he doesn’t see it like that. What he sees is that you still have feelings for your ex. Is that true? No. You worked hard to develop a healthy friendship with your ex and you have every right to do so. He’s insecure because he feels that he could lose you to your ex.
#9 It’s all about the guilt. That’s how he’ll get you to do things for him. And it’s one of the huge traits of insecure men. If you didn’t see him today, he’ll call you saying that you never see him and that you’re neglecting the relationship.
If he’s doing these guilt trip moves, it’s because he wants to try to control you and your relationship. He’s selfish and wants to keep you in his grasp.
#10 He’s social media sensitive. Okay, we all stalk each other on Facebook and Instagram, that’s normal. What’s not normal is him making comments to you personally about photos you take with your friends or why you didn’t tell him you went for coffee with an old friend from school. He uses your social media to see if you’re lying and hiding things from him because he’s insecure.