The key to success in any guy’s attempt to become the perfect man–that individual who all the ladies swoon over as soon as he enters the room–can be summed up as this: self-awareness. Unfortunately, however, this is not a skill/quality that everyone possesses – especially true for the males of the species.
Perhaps, then, a brief description of what exactly that entails is in order. Put as simply as possible for the most impossibly simple among us, self-awareness basically describes the ability to maintain a certain degree of personal control and composure.
10 steps to achieving and maintaining self-awareness
Irrespective of the environment and situation, the self-aware individual makes a point of constantly revisiting and assessing his behavior, so that he’s able to identify any slip-ups in his composure and immediately rectify them.
But when it comes to wooing the ladies, and to the art of being the perfect man, which particular slip-ups do we need to keep our eyes open for? Well, gentlemen, that’s exactly what WE are here for, with our list of the top 10 qualities that make you stand out from the crowd, and which you must always endeavor to maintain. [Read: 20 traits that women think make the most ideal guy]
#1 Be groomed to impress. The first step in any effort to achieve the accolade of being the perfect man is the obvious one of managing your first impression. What does that consist of? It requires making sure that as soon as you leave your front door, all female eyes are drawn in your direction, attracted by your sophisticated garb, expensive cologne, razor sharp haircut, and confident gait. The earlier you take the fight to her, the sooner you reach your goal.
#2 Be gentle, not mental. There’s a reason that James Bond has such a consistent following amongst the womenfolk of our world: he is the archetypal gentleman. Women love a guy who can charm his way out of a Mexican prison with nothing but a smile and a wink, and perform all the perfunctory rituals of courtship with such aplomb that they’re melting before they even step out of the door that’s just been held open for them. [Read: 8 romantic gestures from the old days that all women miss]
#3 Have open ears. Listening is a skill that belongs to few men, but provides one of the greatest inroads to a woman’s affections. Open your ears, take an interest in what she has to say rather than mentally racking up your own stories, and observe how her trust and confidence in you grows throughout the evening. Listening intently is a surefire way to have your breakfast ready for you in the morning!
#4 Keep an open wallet. At a primordial level, generosity fulfills a female need to be provided for. Feminists may shoot me now, but there have been many far cleverer and more adequately qualified men than myself who have systematically and–dare I say it–scientifically identified this need. Pay for the meal, tip well, and send her home in a cab with the fare already paid. It will show her that you’re the kind of guy who knows how to take care of others—and, more to the point, her. [Read: 9 most effective ways to be a more romantic guy]
#5 Pay attention to body matters. Never underestimate the power of body language to either support or undermine your efforts to impress the opposite sex. It’s a massive subject and one that can’t really be gone into too much depth here, but remember to always be in control. Keep movements slow, sure and minimal. Be relaxed, but keep your posture erect *no sniggers at the back please!* and ensure that your composure remains kind and unassuming. [Read: 15 body language cues a girl gives away if she likes you]
#6 Talk straight. We all have an opinion, but most of us share it too strongly – unconcerned with the opposite point of view – or don’t air it at all, trying desperately not to offend anyone. Taking this tack, you’ll come across as a bully or a weakling—neither of them attractive options. Don’t be afraid to share your opinion even if it contradicts, but always be open-minded and calm in how you approach the topic at hand. This approach will show both, your inner strength and your sensitivity, all at once–a killer combination.
#7 Take charge. Like it says on the tin, you should always be respectful of a lady’s opinion when it comes to the big questions. Despite this warning, women usually want you to take control of the minutiae. If there’s a decision to be made about drinks, food, venues, etc., then make sure to take charge and show off your ability to be strong without being forceful. [Read: 12 Prince Charming traits that’ll leave girls swooning]
#8 Be perfectly positive. No woman–or man, for that matter–wants to sit down with a potential partner, and have to listen to a series of woes and wearisome wafflings. Negative talk is a surefire way to lose the fish off the line. Being positive, however, is generally seen as a desirable trait, as well as masculine. Keep the talk upbeat and show her that you’re someone who doesn’t let life get you down.
#9 Remember—the eyes have it. Eyes are the window to the soul, they say. Whatever your view is of that cliché, there’s no denying that eyes can speak volumes. Weak-willed or emotionally unstable people, for example, struggle to hold eye contact and most people pick up on this, and identify it as a negative trait. Firm and unwavering eye contact, though, will not only show you to be a strong-willed and courageous man, but is also one of the strongest seduction tools available to you. Better start practicing! [Read: How to look into a girl’s eyes without looking like a creep]
#10 Keep a lid on it. Emotional outbursts are unseemly and, in the eyes of most people, downright feminine. A real man can control his emotions, and verbally express his needs and thoughts in a mature and sensible manner. Random weeping, tantrums, and fits of pique will instantly relegate you to the past tense. Keep a lid on it instead, and reveal yourself as the man that you truly are.
[Read: The 12 most important flirting tips every guy needs to know]
Climbing up the most eligible male rankings really isn’t rocket science. With a little self-awareness and perception management, you could be the very next Rudolph Valentino. Failing that, by using our tips above, you will at least leave your former Paul Blart image firmly in the past and secure a higher place in the “perfect man” spectrum.