A large part of what makes relationships successful or unsuccessful is trust. Without trust, it is very difficult to build the foundations of love. And without love, your relationship will go downhill really fast.
However, although trust is a key ingredient of a satisfying relationship, it can often be hard to find or give to the person you’re dating. Trustworthiness is a sign of maturity, and a lot of men, especially young men, simply haven’t reached that stage of development yet. But there are also a good number of men who have, hard as they may be to find.
Can you trust the guy you’re dating?
Before you serve up your trust on a silver platter, find out first if he does indeed deserve to be trusted. Here are ways you can find out if he’ll treat your trust like a treasure to be cherished.
#1 He is always willing to communicate. A trustworthy man won’t run away when you try to communicate with him about things. The reason is because he has nothing to hide, so he doesn’t mind you peppering him with questions like a detective. Men who are untrustworthy, and who have guilty consciences, may fear direct prying into their lives, because they don’t want you to discover the lies they are telling.
#2 He can look you in the eye. Not being able to look you in the eye is a sign that the guy could easily be shady. So, the opposite of that is often a good sign. If he can look you in the eye while talking to you, it means that he probably doesn’t have anything to hide. The eyes have a funny way of revealing emotional information. So if he’s not one of those guys with a shifty, paranoid gaze, then he may be worth giving your trust to.
#3 He can let his guard down with you. Trust should be mutual, right? If he can let his guard down around you, it means that he is pretty comfortable with himself, and is willing to let you get to know him on a deeper level. Not only is this a sign of maturity, but it is also a sign that he’s trying to earn your trust by giving him yours.
#4 He isn’t constantly flirting with other girls. Flirting with other girls all the time is a sign that he isn’t quite settled into the relationship with you. It doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s a cheater or a liar, but it could definitely mean that he isn’t that invested in the relationship. Though this isn’t a sign that he’s not trustworthy, it’s a sign that he may not be at that stage where he will be able to truly value your trust.
#5 He seems genuinely interested in your life. This is a good one, because if he is interested in your life, it probably means that he is emotionally attached to you on a significant level. His emotional investment in you could also mean that he cares enough about you to truly want to avoid hurting you.
#6 He doesn’t mind being around your family or your best friends. Sometimes, family members or best friends can have the ability to read your boyfriend, or pick up things about him that you may not notice. You may be blind to his faults or shady characteristics, because you are drunk on love.
However, your family members and close friends aren’t so love-drunk, so they can view him more objectively. If your boyfriend is hiding something, or is not trustworthy, he probably won’t be too keen on being around those who want to protect you and look after your best interests.
#7 He doesn’t freak out if you touch his phone. Picking up his phone can be a great test to see whether or not your man is trustworthy. If he’s cool with it, then that means he doesn’t have anything to hide in his phone. However, if he’s acting paranoid or defensive, this may be a sign that he’s got something to hide. Why trust a guy with potentially scandalous secrets on his phone?
#8 He is calm and collected. A guy who seems to have everything in control is one who is secure. His security may be because he’s got nothing to hide. As mentioned above, a man who is paranoid or has a shifty gaze may be one whom you can’t trust. So if the guy you’re with is as cool as an ice cube, then he may have a clear enough conscience that’s free of guilt or he may be a seriously good actor… Which we doubt.
#9 You experience a gradual increase in comfort around him. This is perhaps the most important sign. The longer that you stay in a relationship with your boyfriend, and the more your level of comfort increases around him, the more you can trust him.
The reason is because the body almost has a sixth sense when it comes to these things. If you spend a lot of time with him throughout the course of your relationship, and he hasn’t done anything to halt the level of comfort you feel with him, you will naturally trust him more and more.
#10 Your friends like him. Most likely, your friends just want you to be happy and not get hurt. So when they judge your boyfriend, they are probably largely focused on whether or not they think that you can trust him. So, you can use their opinions as a sort of gauge to tell whether or not he is trustworthy. It’s not a perfect system, but it is definitely useful information.
Giving someone your trust in a relationship can be a very scary thing. The reason is because if you allow yourself to become completely bonded to someone emotionally, then you don’t want him to break your heart.
The more bonded you become, the more it will hurt if you get your heart broken. This is why it is critical to be able to figure out whether or not the person is trustworthy. Unfortunately, most people won’t be able to sit their boyfriends down for a lie detector test, so you have to use the next best thing.
While you try to get a sense of whether or not your man is trustworthy, you can test out a variety of these tactics. You can get your friends’ opinions, you can see if he freaks out if you pick up his phone, you can see if he can look you in the eye or you can just go with what your gut tells you.
The more of these tactics that you use, the more likely you will be to successfully figure out if your boyfriend is trustworthy. And the more practice you get, the better you will become at reading people. You may not need that lie detector test, after all!