You hit it off straight away as you binge-watch the same box sets and share the same star sign. For weeks, you’re texting and bonding over funny The Office GIFs and everything falls into place. This one must be your soulmate!
One month later and you’re talking about moving in together. You’re on the phone to the moving company when it hits you like a giant yellow frisbee: are you moving too fast? We have all been there. If you’re struggling to stay grounded amidst a whirlwind romance, we got you!
Here are 10 signs your relationship is moving too fast.
10You’re Already Meeting The Parents
If you’ve been on two dates and you’re meeting the parents, take a step back. It could be too soon. You need to have a better understanding of who this person is, what their story is and what makes them tick.
Meeting their friends and family is like entering their universe, so you must be on the same page. Do you both have feelings for each other or is it more casual?
9You’re Still Recovering From A Breakup
No one should bounce from relationship to relationship without time off in between. Broken heart? Grieve the loss and heal. It’s not fair on yourself and others to make someone a rebound just because they’re available.
If this sounds like you, spend time alone and discover who you are first. That doesn’t mean you have to break up, of course, just take things a little bit slow.
8You Discover Big Details About Them Later On
Ten dates later and you’re talking over a candle-lit dinner. He takes a sip of beer before confessing: “Oh, also, I have a three-year-old daughter called Charlotte.” Major red flag.
Think of dating as a trial period: you get to know them, see if you’re compatible and if there’s enough chemistry, you take it to the next level. If you’re learning important details after a month, it’s time to pull a John Legend and take it slow.
7You Haven’t Had Your First Fight Yet
As counterproductive as it sounds, fights are the foundation of a healthy relationship. They build trust, strengthen your connection, and let you know how your partner is feeling. Not fighting doesn’t mean you’re 100% compatible, it just means you’re still cocooned in the honeymoon stage.
You only learn what a person is really like when you’re disagreeing on something. Here, you learn if you share the same beliefs, interests and whether your future goals overlap. It’s only after your first fight that you can see if the person’s worth it.
6You Don’t Know The Basics About Them
Struggling to find out their last name? Not sure where they’re from? If that’s the case, you’re in full-throttle mode. And you gotta slow down!
When we’re loved up, we overlook the nitty-gritty. But you need to learn everything about them, the good and the bad! You don’t want to be seconds away from ‘I do’ when you realize, you don’t know anything about this person.
5 5. Your Friends And Family Are Telling You To ‘Slow Down’
Friends and family are the barometers of life. They can tell you what’s working, what’s not, and they always have the best judge of character. If they suggest pulling the reins in, follow their advice.
We can be blinded by “love” so ask for their opinion otherwise everything may end as quickly as it began. If it’s just one person, that may not be a big deal, but if everyone in your life is saying the same thing… listen!
4You’re Putting All Your Energy Into The Relationship
When you’re ditching pot lucks, piano lessons, and your self-care routine, you may need a moment to reflect. Being smitten means spending more time together but remember, balance is key!
If your life is changing in a matter of weeks, ask yourself: “Am I pouring too much energy into this new relationship?” You shouldn’t have to give up your routine for another person but slowly make adjustments so they can be a part of it. And vice versa.
3They’re Making You Change Everything About Your Life
When we fall for someone, everything in our life feels like it’s aligning. But if you’re uprooting yourself, putting your dreams on hold or leaving your friends and family after a few weeks, stop everything!
Never bend over backwards to fit a new person in your life, even if you’re besotted. As the saying goes: if it’s meant to work out, it will.
2It’s Only Physical
Sometimes attraction propels the relationship and causes us to brush off any signs of incompatibility. Even though they’re your “type” physically, it’s the deeper connection that will make the relationship last.
If you’re a type-A clean person, you don’t want to find out they leave tooth-paste marks in the sink or clothes strewn across the bedroom floor. Take the time to learn about the person’s great and not-so-great qualities first before diving in the deep end.
1You Find Yourself Forcing The Relationship
You may be fed up being single and exhausted by the dating game. It makes sense that an instant connection excites you and gives you hope about a potential relationship. You do, however, have to notice if a relationship is developing fast or if you’re forcing it to develop fast.
You don’t want to fall into a false sense of closeness just because you’re lonely. Listen to your gut. If it feels like you’re forcing it to work, you probably are. It’s time to step back and re-evaluate.