Whether it’s strangers, friends, or family, do you find people constantly asking if you and your best friend are a couple? This might be funny the first few times, but if you’re constantly shielding off questions regarding your romantic status and getting comments about what a “cute couple” you are, it can get annoying—fast. But do you ever wonder if your family is catching onto something that you’re not?
If the thought of dating your best friend sends you into preschool-like fits of, “Eww, gross!” or “She has cooties!” then you probably haven’t been entertaining romantic thoughts—with good reason. There’s something to be said for caution, as dating your best friend can have some icky consequences, but there are also super sexy benefits to falling in love with your best pal.
Signs you’re dating your best friend already
So have you crossed the line from best friends into something more? We’re looking at 10 signs you may actually be dating your best friend—and you don’t even realize it!
#1 You’re already labeled by your friends. Friends know best, right? Sometimes, our friends catch on to things before we do. For example, are you constantly having to make a defense with a long, thought-out list of reasons why you’re “so not a couple” to your friends? Or do your friends expect that if they invite one of you to a party or event, the other one will inevitably show up as well?
If your friends are already pairing the two of you up, or can’t quite say your name without naming your “other half,” then you might want to start rethinking your “we’re just friends” stance. [Read: 13 tricky pros and cons of dating a best friend]
#2 Words are now beneath you. You and your best friend are now so in tune that you could have a whole conversation using your body language alone. Someone annoying you at a party? You can secretly mock this person with your BFF, using nothing but a glance. Feeling totally bummed out in a social situation? Your BFF already knows, and comfort is on the way! That’s right, when you really gel with someone, you can communicate without using language. You just know each other *that* well.
#3 They are automatically your +1. Got an invitation to a wedding, party, baby shower, housewarming, or little Haley’s graduation? No matter what the occasion, or how well you know the host, your plus one has already been determined. Whew! That’s one less thing to worry about. Why bother even looking for a date? I mean, you’re obviously bringing your best friend. Duh.
#4 You’ve become the green-eyed monster. If your BFF made plans that don’t involve you, or makes a new friend and you become a jealous freak, you may want to re-examine what you’re jealous of. Is it the plans, or that your BFF wants to hang out with someone who isn’t you? Either way, you’re jealous for a reason, and you should probably decipher why that is before you start looking like a crazy person.
#5 You talk all day long. We mean *all* day. You exchange “good morning” texts, call or text throughout the day detailing work life and the bad-breath monster you were trapped with on the elevator, and you finish off the day with an obligatory night-time phone call or goodnight text. This is way more than just close friends. This is entering lover territory. [Read: Are you more than friends or just friends?]
#6 You have fights that feel like breakups. If you and your bestie have had a fight that felt more like a breakup, then things have definitely taken a romantic turn. Sure, we all have intense fights with friends from time to time, but if this particular fight leaves you with knots in your stomach, makes you cry, or results in a getting-back-together-like reunion, you may be closer to coupledom than you think.
#7 You share everything. And we mean everything. Does he tell you about the newest video game coming out, his weird issues with his mom, or the hair he found in his soup? Do you tell him about friend/family/workmate drama, Sephora’s new value palettes, and how your period cramps are killing you? Oversharing comfortably is a definite sign that things are taking a relationshippy turn.
What’s more, do you tell your BFF things you wouldn’t dare tell anyone else? If so, it’s probably because they’re totally awesome and wouldn’t spill your deep, dark, and shamefully embarrassing secrets with the world. Nope, not even a Twitter mention! You trust your BFF implicitly, and that’s an amazing trait for any budding romantic relationship.
#8 Plans are assumed. You know how they say you’re never really single if you have a best friend? At this point, you don’t even make other plans on the weekend. When it comes to you and your bestie, plans are solid and do not have to be discussed. You are each other’s weekend bitch. [Read: In love with your best friend…What next?]
#9 You had to find a new label. Somewhere along the line, “friend” just didn’t seem to cut it anymore, so you became “best” friends *BFFS, Biffles, Besties, etc.* but now that doesn’t seem to really describe how extraordinary your friendship is.
Whenever you’re together, all you talk about is how fierce your friendship is *okay well, not the whole time, but it comes up, okay?* You’ve now moved beyond best friends, and become something else entirely to each other. You try and replace it with cutesy nicknames, calling each other your “life partner” ironically…but somewhere deep down, we know you totally mean it. [Read: How to ask a friend out without risking the friendship]
#10 Best friends and lovers. Alright, so it’s definitely possible to have pretty much all of these signs be true for you and your bestie without harboring some repressed romantic connections…but consider this: many psychotherapists and laymen alike agree that your romantic partner should also double as your best friend. If you already have a BFF, and you’re totally attracted to them, what’s stopping you from pursuing what could be a magical relationship?