Texting a new beau is a fun and convenient way to stay in touch and get to know him better, instantly gratifying and right at our fingertips. In fact, it can even be disarming, as it lets us truly get to see another person’s interests right off the bat, making that initial first date that much easier.
According to a study taken by Huffington Post, “During the early stages of a relationship or in casual dating scenarios, texting is an ideal mode of communication as it helps reduce uncertainty and lessen anxiety.” What they found as time went on, however, is that additional forms of communication can be added, such as sending photos or FaceTiming.
So, how do we turn into a savvy wordsmith that’ll be able to spin perfect prose and woo any potential suitor? Don’t worry—we’ve got you covered. While there are certain things to send a guy that’ll leave him beaming, there are also some messages we shouldn’t be sending, as they’ll undoubtedly make him run for the hills.
While some are more obvious than others, these tips will pique his interest and leave him hungry to get to know us better! We’ve rounded up ten texts to avoid sending our new flame, and ten that they love receiving. Read on to find out which is which!
20Scares Him Away: Talking About An Ex
One thing to avoid—especially if you’re a serial dater and wounds are still fresh—is any mention of your ex via text. This is a definite dealbreaker to steer away from especially at the start of a texting courtship. Guys don’t want to hear about someone you used to date, nor do they want to act as a therapist that’ll work out all your feelings. Conversely, you shouldn’t have to listen to him do the same thing, either!
Talking about old flames is something you should reserve for your closest circle of friends—not a current beau. And he shouldn’t bring up any exes either!
19He Loves: When She Jokes Around
There’s nothing guys adore more than a girl who can keep up with healthy banter, poke fun, and be playful. Memes and GIFs are the perfect modern way to do so, along with visual jokes involving photos you may take throughout your day. Don’t worry, though, if neither of these ideas seems overly appealing; you can always just keep things light-hearted and easy-going, showing off your laid-back personality.
As long as you’re not complaining all the time via text or being negative about everything, you’ll leave a great impression in his mind and he won’t be able to wait to meet up with you for a real date!
18Scares Him Away: Not Taking Sweet Compliments Seriously
Compliments are still compliments, no matter what the medium. That’s why next time your new man dotes upon you lovingly through the phone, you shouldn’t brush it off, as the meaning behind it is still the same. Sure, there are some compliments that try too hard, but when he lavishes praise on you, make sure to respond.
Men can be vulnerable creatures just as much as women, and acknowledging that they’re making an effort goes a long way. If you opt to ignore their cute text instead, they may start to feel under-appreciated, or even worse, find you to be too vain to want to invest any further in developing a real relationship outside of texting.
17He Loves: Being Witty And Quoting Things
Another variation of being able to joke around? Having a plethora of pop culture knowledge ready to dish out! Movie quotes are a fantastic way to send a flirtatious text, so letting your beau know he had you “at hello” will put a grin on his face and add a playful touch to an otherwise corny message.
This might be a surefire way to make him smile, but just make sure you’re picking a quote from a movie he’s sure to have seen. Considering most people talk about their favorite movies or actors right off the bat, this shouldn’t present an issue at all!
16Scares Him Away: Demanding To Know Why He Isn’t Texting
There’s nothing that’ll scare a guy away quicker than the infamous “why aren’t you texting me back” message. To be blunt, men love an independent woman, so that sort of neediness will not help any situation. Next time you’re wondering if your new man is ghosting you, try and think of rational reasons why he may not be replying—such as being at work, in a movie, or just being busy.
Instead of shooting off this text, find something you can do to distract yourself, too. When he finally does come around to texting you and asking what you’re up to, he’ll appreciate your time even more!
15He Loves: Taking Charge And Asking Him Out
While we love getting doted on and having a guy ask us out on a date, it’s sometimes also nice to take charge and show him you’re after him. Guys will appreciate the gesture too, just make sure not to bruise his masculinity and send something too forward, such as “Do you want me to take you out for dinner?”
Instead, keep things subtle and more feminine, implying that you’re free and would love the chance to see him. Immediately being able to clue in, your new beau will hop at the opportunity to ask you if there’s anything specific you want to do, or he’ll plan the whole date on his own!
14Scares Him Away: Being Insecure
Another topic you should probably save exclusively for your girlfriends is airing out your insecurities and personal issues rather than sharing them with the guy you’re trying to woo. To be honest, this rule stays the same in person, but it also rings true via text, as well!
While it’s completely understandable not to be feeling what you look like on any given day, your man doesn’t need to know about that. If he’s been seeing you or texting you for a while, you can pretty much be sure he’s interested in how you look physically, too. Confidence is attractive, so own what you have!
13He Loves: Texting A Fun Fact
Harking back to the idea that playfulness is the way to win over a man’s heart, try sending your man a fun fact instead of a joke or sarcastic quip from time to time. These could be little-known facts about yourself that’ll make him interested to know more about you or a random fact about any topic at all that’ll simply spark conversation.
Little tidbits are a fantastic way to take the edge off of having to wait for him to make conversation. And, giving personal yet fun information about yourself is a great way to keep him keen and also opens the door to potential flirtation about your cheeky nature later on down the line!
12Scares Him Away: A Lack Of Proper Grammar
As it turns out, punctuation and grammar are huge turn-ons. And this is one habit that’s easy to maintain in this day of modern technology; simply avoid text jargon, be able to formulate complete sentences, and spell-check a message before sending it!
And as it turns out, women know much more about texting shorthand than men do, so some things you send him may not make any sense! Bad grammar is a known grievance among guys, as Bustle reported that 36 percent of men were annoyed with someone who couldn’t text properly or manage to spell common words correctly in a text.
11He Loves: The Perfectly Flirtatious Text
If you’re more of the forward type who doesn’t mind putting herself out there, own your flirting prowess, sharpening your claws on your new flame. He won’t know what hit him! Some words of advice, however; make sure to keep things light-hearted and fun, keeping your banter short. Don’t overthink it too much either, as you’re trying to convey a playful tone that’ll leave him with some wiggle room to reply with.
The truth here is that guys love flirting, and the playful teasing is yet again another indication that you know how to have fun, and more importantly, know how to take control of a situation.
10Scares Him Away: Making It Seem Like You’re Not Interested
Much how men aren’t too fond of getting their compliments shot down via text, they also don’t appreciate when you message them the bare minimum, either. One-word responses give off the impression that you’re simply not interested and might even make them feel insecure.
To make matters worse, once a dude thinks you’re not into him anymore, or even worse, stuck up, they’ll likely lose interest as well. As much as you want a guy to keep up in conversation, you should be pulling your weight, too. Ask about his day or send him a funny meme—it’ll make him laugh and keep him wanting to chat!
9He Loves: The Genuine Text
As much as light-hearted banter is important to keep things fun, you also want to showcase from time to time that you do truly care. This is where a genuine and kind text comes into play. While you may worry that showing vulnerability will put you out there too much, it’ll actually do the opposite, showcasing strength and that you’re able to keep things honest and real.
These genuine texts could be anything. From a simple, “I hope you have a good day” or “Good luck during your meeting,” or a more raw and meaningful message such as “I’m really enjoying getting to know you.” Both of these simply show that you’re interested in something more than a friendship, and they’ll go a long way.
8Scares Him Away: Friend-Zoning Him With Terms
You want your beau to think you’re vested in a romantic relationship—not that you’ve elected to make him your new BFF. Although you want to come across as aloof and cool, using words like “pal,” “buddy,” or “bro” while you’re flirting is a surefire way to make him think you’re not into him—and he’ll vocalize it to you, too.
Instead, you can be playful in other ways that’ll make you seem fun without friend-zoning the poor guy. Try sending jokes or photos throughout your day of what you’re up to, keeping things interesting for him and never resorting to overly casual terms!
7He Loves: Showing Genuine Interest And Asking Him Questions
When you’re not busy showcasing all the amazing and fascinating things about yourself, take some time to show a genuine interest in your new man! Asking him questions about himself and open up a door of conversation to get to understand him a bit better—you’ll never know what sort of things you’ll have in common!
The same way you adore it when a guy wants to know everything about you, being able to reciprocate is lovely, too! Ask him questions about his work, his hobbies, or even simply just ask about his day. Showing you’re taking the time to know him also makes him more willing to reciprocate.
6Scares Him Away: Seeking Approval Constantly
It’s absolutely no surprise at all that men love confidence. It ranks so high, in fact, that guys would rather date someone who is driven and owns all that she is instead of a beautiful model who is extremely insecure. Of course, we’re all human, and having days where you don’t feel your finest happens to the best of us.
Just make sure that your doubts don’t engulf you in your day-to-day with your new flame. Asking him what you should wear before your date or overpowering him with questions makes it seem like you’re severely lacking in independence and confidence.
5He Loves: Sometimes, Let Him Initiate
Although it’s sometimes nice to initiate and show interest, you shouldn’t be so eager and enthusiastic all the time. Simply put, enjoy the game of cat and mouse sometimes and let your man come to you. The trick to making this work, however, is allowing him to initiate a conversation, then giving him confirmation that you appreciate him thinking about you.
That being said, things can never be one-sided. Pay attention to the texts he initiates, and for every couple he sends, you do the same. This’ll show him you’re not afraid to take charge of a situation and can be assertive in getting what you want, too.
4Scares Him Away: The Simple ‘K’
Oh, the “k” text. The universal consonant that stresses literally every human out; men dislike this as much as women. Giving off the impression of disinterest, boredom, or worse, anger, it’s the one text that’ll get a man to cease contact with you until things go back to normal. The thing is, we dislike receiving these texts too, so just don’t go there. What’s worse than a single-letter “k” text? One that’s properly punctuated with a period at the end, creating more cause for confusion and anxiety.
Harking back to the idea that sending longer responses is much more laid-back, add a few additional letters to form “okay” as your response, and not the single-letter-nightmare that’ll send him running, and follow up with something else, too!
3He Loves: Have A Purpose With Each Text
There’s nothing worse than having a dead conversation that isn’t going anywhere. It’s simple—if you don’t have a purpose, the conversation won’t flow. What’s your goal out of what you have to say? Are you trying to make plans? Are you perhaps wanting to get to know him better through his hobbies and interests? Know the end goal so you can keep pushing towards it and ultimately, keep the conversation going.
There’s nothing more mundane than having nothing to say and speaking about your day-to-day life and the chores you have ahead of you. Add some spice to the conversation and lead with purpose; he’ll appreciate it.
2Scares Him Away: The Ellipses That Last Forever
iPhones have both cursed and blessed us with the incoming chat bubble ellipses that come when someone is typing. Usually causing anyone to stop what they’re saying and wait for the opposing message to come in, the unsettling terror starts to appear when the ellipsis get dragged on for ages.
What’s even worse, if it takes forever for you to send a text, only to re-think your decision and only send a super short response, it’ll come across as passive-aggressive, or as if you’re putting more thought into something but not taking the time to explain. Regardless, just be up-front and honest with your new guy without hesitation!
1He Loves: Send A Photo From Time To Time!
Men are visual creatures. As witty as you can be with your words, it’s nice to throw in a photo every once and a while via text. The occasional selfie is cute, yes, but that’s not all we’re talking about. Too many selfies can make you seem way too self-involved, so know when to stop.
Mix it up, send him a photo of what you’re up to or a funny part of your day-to-day. Even better, right after you send it, ask him to do the same. It keeps a conversation flow going and assures your talk stays light-hearted and interesting.