Sure, telling a white lie here and there on a first date is no biggie. But if you go too far, it can end up being more trouble than it’s worth. There are certain things that you would actually benefit from lying about, but there are other things that you just should tell the truth about.
One time, a guy I started dating tried lying to me about smoking cigarettes *a deal breaker for me*. It’s not like he tried to quit and was hiding it, oh no – I could smell it. The scent was so pungent that when I hugged him, it was like I was hugging a walking ashtray – gross!
On our first date, he told me that he hated smoking and that it was disgusting. I thought, “This is awesome! Finally someone who shares my views.” But obviously, that was not the case. Was he a great guy? Yeah, absolutely. But I can’t get over the odor that comes with people who smoke. I just can’t do it.
If he would’ve been honest right from the start, then we could have saved ourselves some heartache when I finally told him I couldn’t do it any longer. [Read: 60 perfect get-to-know-you questions for a new romance]
10 things you should never lie about on a first date
First dates are important. You never know where something might lead from there. That’s why we’ve compiled a list of all of the very important information you should never lie about when you’re on a first date with someone. If you’re guilty of these, then you should set them straight!
#1 Your name. For some reason, people feel the need to lie about their name on a first date. I don’t know why – maybe it’s because it’s easier to disappear if things go south. Regardless, there are many reasons why you should never lie about this.
Firstly, they will notice that you don’t respond to that name. Secondly, if things do go smoothly and you decide to give them your real name, they’re going to be so turned off that you lied to them in the first place that you may have ruined whatever chances you had with them. [Read: 10 little things that are sure to turn off your date in no time]
#2 Your age. Yes, ladies, I’m talking to you! Don’t go around telling people that you’re 5 years younger than you are. The truth is, it’s much too hard to keep track of, and you’ll eventually let it slip anyways.
Not only will they eventually find out that you lied, but they’ll be turned off by the lack of self-confidence as well. Nobody who truly wants to be out on that date with you is going to give two flying craps about how old you really are. [Read: Age gaps and why it’s the new trend in relationships]
#3 Whether you’ve got kids or not. This is a big one! Sometimes, people don’t know how to bring it up, but you need to mention it if you have kids. If you’re asked and you say no, but you really do have kids, then you can never introduce them!
Either that, or you’ll have to admit that you hid your kids from them, and that’s just sad in and of itself. Nobody likes someone who lies about their own children. You should never be ashamed of having children. Anyone who is up for the challenge will stick around and anyone who isn’t, well… that’s their loss.
#4 Your job. Why would you lie about the thing that you spend 70% of your time doing?! Your job is who you are at that moment. Even if you don’t want to stay on that path forever, you should never lie about your current occupation.
People will understand if you’re biding your time for your next job, or saving up to go back to school and do something different. They just want to know what you’re up to all day. It makes a big difference in the way they see you. [Read: The 10 sexiest male jobs that impress women easily]
#5 Whether you’re really single or not. Hello, all of you nasty cheaters! I’m talking to you! Don’t tell someone that you’re completely single when you’ve got someone making you dinner at home. Don’t tell someone that you’re divorced if you’re still just “thinking” about separating.
Even if you’re dating other people, but not in anything serious yet, don’t lie about that. Tell your date exactly that. It will clear the air and leave much less room for confusion on their end. It will also ease your own conscience.
#6 Whether you smoke or not. Yes, I absolutely did throw this on here because there are people out there who have very strong feelings about smoking, and can’t date someone who does it. Not only will this clear the air, but it also makes room for the other person to voice their opinions about it.
If the other person is really into you, then maybe they can work with it and maybe they can’t. It’s best to get something like this out on the table as soon as possible.
#7 Hobbies and interests. Why lie about this in the first place? This is who you are at your core. The things you love to do and the things that you’re passionate about should never be lied about to someone else – even if you’re afraid of judgment.
Hobbies and interests are what connect people. If you lie about them, then how can your date tell if they really like you or not? And please, for the love of everything good in the world, DO NOT tell them that you’re interested in something that you’re not, just because they are. [Read: 50 relationship questions that’ll reveal your compatibility instantly]
#8 Your pets. Pets can be an important factor in a budding relationship. Maybe not the most important, but still. Some people have allergies, and it’s best to talk about pets early on so they don’t think it’s you that they’re allergic to after spending the evening sneezing!
#9 Where you see yourself in 5 years. This can be a difficult topic of discussion, because on one hand, you should tell them about your goals and wishes in life. But on the other hand, you don’t want to freak them out by divulging the fact that you want a family, a spouse, a home, and a dream job, all within the next 5 years.
I would stick to discussing career and personal goals only. If you see yourself as CEO of a huge corporation in 5 years, you can tell them that! There’s no point in lying about your goals career-wise. [Read: 20 little details to perfect your first date conversation]
#10 Your intentions. Are you just looking for a fling, or are you in it for the long haul? Make sure your date knows which one you’re after, because it may not be what they’re looking for. I don’t mean that you should confess your undying love for them and your need to have babies ASAP.
I mean that you should just let them know what you’re expecting out of being in the dating world. Whether you’re just checking things out but don’t want to settle down anytime soon, or you’re totally ready to commit, your date should know which one you’re after on the first date.
First dates are all about getting to know someone and deciding whether or not you want to be with them, and vice versa. It’s nearly impossible to do that if you’re lying about who you are as a person. Take it from us, and never lie about the things mentioned above on a first date.