Online dating *and dating apps like Tinder* should be easy for people. But all I ever hear are complaints. Most people don’t even get dates. Or if they do, they have total horror stories to tell as a result.
So, why is it so hard to snag a date in the online dating world? Well, it’s probably because people do it all wrong. It’s amazing how many times I look at some profiles and think, “Oh you poor thing… you really need me to help you write your profile!” I’m not trying to sound arrogant, but being a communication professor, I teach about these things… including what makes a good online dating profile.
Tinder tips you can NOT ignore
The problem is, most people don’t take classes like mine. Instead, they just fumble through the dating world hoping to get someone to notice them. And even if they do, they might not find anyone that they would want a relationship with. So, here are some Tinder tips for you… basically the super important Dos and Don’ts. Let’s start with the Don’ts.
Don’t…
#1 Forget to use photos. Come on, people. Do you REALLY want to go out with someone who doesn’t even have a picture? It can mean a lot of things. First, they are too lazy to put up a photo. Or maybe they’re married and they don’t want their spouse to find them.
#2 Use old photos. I know you think you looked good in your high school graduation picture from 10 or more years ago. Even if it was just 5 years ago, people change. If you don’t put up recent photos of yourself, you are basically deceiving everyone.
And if you snag a date, they might have a look of shock on their face and run screaming toward the door because you look different. I’m exaggerating, of course. But it happens. It really does. So, make sure you put photos up that are no older than a year. And also… just don’t misrepresent yourself in any way, shape, or form… AKA, don’t lie! This is one of the biggest Tinder tips of all.
#3 Use s*xy/half-naked photos. I know Tinder has a reputation for being a hookup site, but that doesn’t mean you have to sink to that level. Well, I guess if you really are just looking for s*x and a hookup, then maybe that’s the message you want to put out there.
#4 Use photos of objects instead of yourself. This is one of the Tinder tips not a lot of people think about. Guys, the ladies are not dating your motorcycle. Or your fish. Or your house. They are dating YOU. We don’t care that you caught a big fish or are a Harley dude.
We want to see your face and body, just like you want to see ours. And ladies, guys aren’t dating your cat, or your kids, or a beautiful sunset. They are trying to date YOU. I think you all get the point, right?
#5 Use photos that don’t show your face. This kind of goes along with not using photos. There are a lot of people who put up pictures of their body parts… I’m sure you’ve seen them. The chests, or the wet t-shirts *for girls* or strategically wet, sheer boxers for guys *where you can basically see everything.*
#6 Use crowd photos. Hey, it’s great that you and ten of your friends had fun at Mardi Gras or the Kentucky Derby. But ummm… which one are YOU? If you use crowd photos, at least point out where you are in the picture.
Even if it’s a picture of you and another person, they can wonder “Hey, is that his girlfriend or ex-wife in the photo?” or “Hmmm… two girls in this picture… which one is she?” You should stick to pictures of you, and only you, if at all possible.
#7 Use selfies or bad photos. I know we live in the age of selfies. But please, for the love of God, don’t use them!! Especially the ones where you are in a public bathroom and you’re holding the camera in front of your face trying to look s*xy.
Selfies make people think, “Don’t they have any friends to take a picture of them?” And “Why the heck are they in a public bathroom doing this?” It’s kind of creepy. Just don’t do it. Have a friend take pictures of you in good lighting at a good angle… in a respectable location.
#8 Forget to write something! How do we know if we want to date you if you say absolutely nothing about yourself? Okay, maybe some people are more picky that others and are just looking at the pictures.
#9 Say “I hate talking about myself” or “If you want to know, just ask.” If you hate talking about yourself, that sends the message that you have low self-esteem. I mean, if you had decent self-confidence, you should have no problem telling the world all about you because you are proud of who you are.
And if you say “If you want to know, just ask,” well, that’s just lazy. If other people take the time to write something about themselves, why are you requiring them to put in more effort by asking you about yourself. People, it doesn’t take a lot of time to write a short bio. Don’t be lazy. Put in some effort!
#10 Use improper grammar, type in all capitals, or write only one sentence. Maybe it’s just me, but I can’t stand when someone can’t spell, doesn’t use decent grammar, or has one big long run on sentence.
I understand that not everyone is highly educated, but again, you are putting your best self out there. If you’re not a good writer, then have someone help you with it. Grab your mom or a friend to help you.
