It’s not uncommon for anyone to fall prey to temptation, no matter what their relationship status is.
Many people say they are never tempted to cheat.
Many others say if you truly love someone, you can never get sexually attracted to someone else.
But is it true?
I completely disagree. And so does science!
The temptation in love
The people who say they are never tempted to cheat obviously haven’t seen enough of the world or interacted with enough good looking people.
And the people who say you can never get tempted or attracted to someone else if you’re in love, well, they’re just wrong too.
Love and sexual attraction are two different emotions, and it’s very much possible to experience these two unique feelings for two different people at the same time.
You may be clouded by an intense surge of love and infatuation at first, enough to convince you that it’s a potent cocktail of love and sexual attraction. But soon enough, you’ll realize that finding someone else attractive is as natural as feeling hungry or wanting to sleep.
When it comes to knowing how to resist temptation in love, you have to understand that the more you’re surrounded by sexually attractive members of the opposite sex who are attracted to you, the more you’d be tempted to cheat on your own partner.
That probably clears up why the movie stars have such a hard time staying in a long term relationship. They’re obviously surrounded by hotties and can’t help themselves after a certain point. But then again, if they really wanted to resist temptation, they could have.
How to resist temptation in love
One of the first things you have to understand about resisting temptation is the real underlying fact. If there is no temptation, then there’s nothing to resist.
This may be valid for a lot of things, but it doesn’t hold true for humans and the opposite sex. Humans are evolutionarily built to get attracted to the opposite sex. But is every interaction going to end in bed? Of course not.
You may speak to an attractive guy or girl and even flirt with them, but if you’re not really interested in taking it beyond happy flirting, then you don’t have to worry about fighting temptation. But does your partner think flirting is cheating too?
Well, then it’s time to understand how to resist temptation in love based on your own relationship.
#1 Set your cheating boundaries
Every relationship is unique. What you consider cheating may not be worth a second thought to someone in an open relationship. You know yourself and your partner better than anyone else, at least when it comes to matters of the heart. So set your boundaries and avoid crossing the line if you know it could hurt your partner.
#2 Understand what you stand to lose
The temptation to cheat on your spouse may overpower you or you may just want to cheat once and forget all about it. But if your partner ever found out about it, can you imagine what could happen?
Would your partner walk out of the relationship, or would there be a big breakdown in trust between the both of you? Before you take a plunge into the waters of temptation, always think about what you stand to lose. [Read: To cheat or not to cheat?]
#3 Is it really worth it?
Anyone who’s ever cheated on a partner would tell you this. It’s never worth it. The sexual excitement of heavy petting or a one night stand could be sizzling, but the second you’re done with the deed, you’d feel empty and hollow. And once you’ve crossed the line even once, there’s really no turning back again.
#4 Put yourself in your partner’s shoes
Never mind about getting caught, but how would you feel if you were in your partner’s place? If your partner could see you flirting or trying to get physical with someone else, can you imagine how shattered and betrayed they’d feel? This is a call for your conscience.
Your partner may never find out if you ever cheat. But in a relationship that’s built on love and trust, you have to learn to think from your partner’s point of view and decide your next move.
#5 Learn to avoid temptation
While it’s natural to find someone attractive and even indulge in a bit of unintentional flirting, avoid taking it to the next step. As humans, we always want more, especially when it comes to sexual attraction. Would you ever be satisfied with just flirting, or just a kiss, or just heavy petting, or even just sex with one other person? When you step into the world of temptation, you’d always want more. Nothing can ever satisfy you.
If you’re attracted to a colleague at work, try to distance yourself slowly or cut down the flirty talk one bit at a time. It’s always better to draw a line and stay behind it, instead of crossing it and wishing you hadn’t.
#6 Are you happy in love?
Having sex with someone else can seem like an exciting thought. But at the end of the day, sexual satisfaction alone can never give you the fulfillment and satisfaction of a happy relationship. If you are happy in your relationship, should you throw it all away and cheat on your partner just to have a few minutes of sexual satisfaction? Are those few minutes in bed with another person worth risking all the love you have for your partner?
#7 Respect your partner and your relationship
When you’re in love with someone, you respect your partner and the relationship. And when you respect someone, you can’t ever think of intentionally hurting them. If you want to know how to resist temptation in love, instead of thinking about how to get away with cheating, ask yourself if you really respect your partner enough to resist the cheating thought.
#8 Can you handle the guilt?
You may have built up the sexual excitement for several days, and one eventful day, you may be on the verge of finding yourself in an affair. Just think about this for a moment, can you ever handle the guilt or gaze back lovingly into your partner’s eyes when they happily hug you or kiss you? Can things ever be the same again after you’ve lain down in another person’s arms, in another bed?
It’s easy to fantasize about a sexual getaway, but learning to fantasize about the repercussions too can help you get a better perspective on whether you should cheat on your partner or not.
#9 Don’t hide your thoughts
If your relationship is built on a strong foundation of love and trust, you really shouldn’t worry about any kind of insecurities. If a guy at work flirts with you, or if a girl you met at a conference told you she likes you, don’t hide those details from your lover. Speak frankly about your crushes and who you find attractive.
When you hide little flirty details from your partner, you’d also associate a bit of sexual awkwardness to that thought. As the days pass, you may have many more flirty conversations or stolen glances, and it’ll soon become a sexual secret that you fantasize about.
What starts off as an awkward thought may one day lead you to stray into another bed because it’s such an exciting thought. But if you could just be frank with your partner about these little interactions, the suspense will fizz out immediately and you really won’t think much about it. And the best part, it’ll bring you and your partner closer together and increase the trust in each other.
#10 Confront your temptation
If you want to know how to resist temptation in love, stop hiding from it. Learn to confront it. It’s temptation only when you fear it or are afraid you can’t handle it. If you can have a fun, flirty conversation with someone and not think about having sex with them, there’s no temptation to worry about or resist.
Locking up the thought of temptation is never the answer. Learn to confront it and face it. Every time you share a closer-than-normal moment with another person, ask yourself if this new person is actually better than your own lover. If you truly are in love and respect your partner, you’d always see that no affair is ever worth the love and the happiness that your own partner gives you.
Many people who cheat on their partner realize this after they’ve done the deed. And they always regret ever having cheated. You can be the lucky one who can give this a thought before taking the plunge into cheating waters.
So before you take the next step, ask yourself if those few hours in another bed are truly worth more than your lover and the relationship you share.