Let’s face it: whether two people have just started talking or been married for decades, there are going to be problems both big and small. No one is perfect, and no relationship is perfect, so issues will pop up with everything from communication and trust to just finding someone else’s habits super annoying!
But don’t worry—there are ways to deal with a lot of these things. People can talk through arguments with a therapist. Openness and honesty can lead to more trust. And changes can be made in order to make someone else happier in life. The list goes on, and ten of these solutions are going to be discussed down below.
Furthermore, ten tactics that will only make matters worse are also going to be detailed here today. Those who are in relationships can hopefully have their eyes opened to any issues (issues they are struggling with personally or that they have not been seeing in a significant other) and then learn ways to deal with those and more (by using one or more of the solutions that can be found on this list).
So, let’s get started… Here are 10 things that can be done to help with common problems between two people and 10 things that are not going to help anyone in any relationship!
20How To Deal: Talk It Out
First and foremost, people in any sort of relationship need to talk with one another. From asking each other about their days to letting someone know our true feelings, communication is huge. And lack of it is one of the main factors in a struggling relationship, which means that we all need to be willing to talk it out.
Every couple should sit down in a calm and rational way, on a regular basis, in order to take time to really listen to each other, to dive into emotions and opinions and to work together to overcome whatever is currently wrong.
19How To Deal: See A Professional
If the conversation is not happening in a calm and rational way, it may be time to call in a professional. There are tons of therapy and counseling options out there, and many couples and individuals find relief and guidance from these sessions.
With a mediator present during these talks, both sides can be heard, eyes can be opened, and solutions can be found. It may not solve everything—at all or all at once—but it will be a good way to hear each other out… and with a referee of sorts present, as well, which is sometimes needed!
18How To Deal: Have Some Fun
Life can get busy, and sometimes, couples forget to stop and have fun. There is work to get to each day. There are kids to care for and tote around to practices and school. There are responsibilities of all types which everyone must deal with daily.
But when two people love each other, they need to make time for themselves, alone and away from it all at times. Whether a couple has a weekly date night or takes a big vacation once a year, this will be a good time for quality time and a great opportunity to have a little fun together!
17How To Deal: Show Some Trust
Trust is a big part of any relationship—especially a romantic one. In order to cut down on relational issues, couples need to work on trusting each other. This could mean being open about how they spend free time. This may mean learning to let go of past mistakes. This area can touch upon relationships with other people, technological devices, nights out, money, bedroom activities…
The list goes on and on, so please just work with one another in order to build up that trust, which is an ongoing process and one that is so vital for a real, lasting, and healthy relationship.
16How To Deal: Respect Any Boundaries
Along the same lines, every individual and couple will have boundaries of some type, and they can be physical, emotional, mental, spiritual or psychological. They may stem from past experiences, personal beliefs/preferences or currents needs/wants.
People need to show their significant others that they respect boundaries, and they need to trust that the other person will respect theirs back. This is another ongoing process that will help cut down on any problems that could arise, and it is a basic practice that should be present in all caring and considerate human beings (especially two who are in love).
15How To Deal: Pitch In Together
As we mentioned up above, life is full of responsibilities, and couples should share in these. For some, that means one person works out in the world while the other stays at home in order to take care of the kids, cook, and clean. For others, it means the budget and the chores are split down the middle.
The point is that someone is going to have to clean that toilet, like it or not! It will look different for everyone, and that is okay; as long as two people are pitching in together and sharing the work, it will be a smoother ride.
14How To Deal: Keep The Balance
Many of these tactics, which can all help reduce fights in relationships, can be narrowed down to this one point: keep the balance. Most aspects of life are about balance and moderation and harmony—just look at the few points covered on this list so far…
Communication needs to be present, but sharing every single opinion on every single thing could lead to more arguments. Fun needs to be had, but enjoy everything in moderation. Trust should be at the forefront, but some people who are too trusting can end up getting hurt. Chores should be shared, but a couple could go crazy while trying to decide who does what.
13How To Deal: Spread The Love
A good rule in life is to spread the love. Remember that people can get busy and stressed and distracted, and couples need to make sure their love is always evident. Sometimes, it can get taken for granted or pushed under the rug, and that is only going to lead to more problems.
Take time every single day to say those three little words, to hug, to compliment one another, to give gifts, to kiss, to surprise each other and to let the world and, most importantly, each other know that there is love (even and especially after a fight!).
12How To Deal: Take A Break
Sometimes, things get too bad between two people, and that is where this piece of advice comes into play: take a break. It is never easy or pretty, but it is sometimes necessary. Two people may need to get away from each other in order to work on themselves, think, get over something, or discover something.
This may sound super not okay, but it can help. And remember—distance makes the heart grow fonder, so a couple could be better than ever after going on a short break! Just be sure to set guidelines beforehand; we wouldn’t want a Rachel/Ross situation to arise.
11How To Deal: Be So Grateful
The last tidbit here on dealing with relationship problems is to be grateful. Is any boyfriend/husband or girlfriend/wife perfect? No. Will there be fights? Yes. But… Will there be things we love about our partners? Of course. Will we learn to forgive them for any mistakes? Surely!
If it is meant to be, then let that be known, make it work, and run with it. Remember how it all started. Focus on the positive aspects. And through it all, be thankful for the support, love, friendship, trust, help, cuddles, fun and overall relationship, which is a beautiful thing.
10Definitely Don’t: Look For Faults
Now, on the other hand, a way to make things worse would be to only look for faults in a partner. There will be faults and negatives and flaws and bad habits since everyone has at least one thing that keeps them from perfection.
But if that is all we are focusing on, then, of course, there will be fights, issues, arguments, and problems! These can’t be at the forefront of minds or lives. If someone is that hung up on a bad aspect, then it may be time to move on, since both people deserve something better than that.
9Definitely Don’t: Spread Any Lies
This may sound basic, but someone here needs to hear this: lying is not okay. Sure, there are little white “lies” like telling a child that Santa is real (sorry!) or keeping birthday party plans from someone in order to not ruin the surprise. We don’t mean that, though…
We meaning lying to a boyfriend about what we want in the bedroom, telling a wife we are at work when we are out with the guys, or venting to our friends about our relationship problems in a way that makes our partner look like the bad guy (or girl). Not okay.
8Definitely Don’t: Ignore Each Other
Just as one way to cut down on fights is to love and respect each other, a way to lead to more fighting is by ignoring each other.
It has been stated over and over that life can get crazy, but that is no excuse; hang out with each other, spend quality time together, put down the phones, schedule dates, buy flowers, hold hands, and remember how lucky you are to have a loving person to go about life with. Ignoring and avoiding each other is only going to lead to oh-so-many more issues in a relationship, every time.
7Definitely Don’t: Bring Up Exes
Here is a tricky topic: exes. Some people are friends with theirs, but in short and to generalize and summarize, we are just going to suggest not bringing them up. For many couples, they are a sore spot. A guy could get jealous if a girl talks to an ex-boyfriend. A woman could bring up her husband’s ex-wife, comparing their love lives.
There are so many conversations about exes that can lead to big fights, but it is not worth it or relevant. Leave the past in the past, focus on the present, and work to make the future the best it can be!
6Definitely Don’t: Push Each Other
For this next point, remember the “balance” that was mentioned earlier… An example of positive pushing would be someone encouraging their significant other to take a new job or try out for something. Examples of pushing in a negative way would be nagging, not respecting boundaries, and bringing up topics that are known to lead to fights (just to be mean).
If two people really love each other and care about one another, they will not push buttons like this. If they do, yep, more fights are going to pop up in life, so just try to avoid this at all costs.
5Definitely Don’t: Expect Too Much
A tactic for dealing with some common relational issues is to not expect too much. This doesn’t mean to lower our standards and settle for someone who is not suitable. No, this means to remember that perfection doesn’t exist. If someone is looking for a love story like the one from their favorite book or movie, they need to know that is fiction.
If someone has impossible expectations set for their partner, they are going to be let down. Get realistic, find what works best, get with the right person, and find that true love that works best for both people involved.
4Definitely Don’t: Make It One-Sided
On a similar note, don’t make issues one-sided. For instance, when having those calm and mature conversations about issues that have come up, don’t use personal and first-person pronouns the whole time; it is not just about one person, as this is a relationship between a couple—two people are involved and dealing with it all!
Selfishness has a way of creeping up at times, but if it leaks into all parts of a relationship, then hurt is going to come along with that. Be considerate of each other and know that it is about more than just one person.
3Definitely Don’t: Just Argue Constantly
Whether it has been experienced firsthand or seen in another couple, we all know about it: some people are not meant to be with each other, but they stay together, and they argue constantly. There are so many issues present, and instead of dealing with them, getting help, or breaking up, they just make things miserable for themselves and for everyone around them.
Don’t be that couple. Don’t stay in something that is built upon bringing up negativity all the time. That is so not a good thing. Know when it is time to bring in a professional or walk away.
2Definitely Don’t: Settle For Toxicity
Similarly, people should not settle for toxic relationships. Sometimes, despite problems, couples want to stay together, because breakups are hard, kids are involved, and letting go is never easy. But it is also sometimes necessary. There are a few big-ticket items that can be considered toxic and that can totally ruin a relationship.
Life is short, and we deserve to live our best lives—with the best people around us, too. If anyone is stuck in a relationship that is harmful to their mental, emotional, or physical wellbeing, we hope they find the strength and support needed to get out of it.
1Definitely Don’t: Ever Take Advantage
Last but not least, in order to avoid fights, do not take advantage of a significant other. This can look like a lot of things. Forgetting to be grateful for a spouse is taking advantage of them. Assuming that a partner will handle responsibilities is taking advantage of a situation. Using someone in order to just get what we want is called taking advantage.
Once again, if two people are really in love, they will and need to find a way to get over any issues, to be a solid unit, and to make sure every step is full of positivity, support, trust, honesty, goodness, and love.