Do you get jealous when your friend hangs out with his or her other friends? Do you not want your best friend to meet new people? Do you want yourself to be his or her priority? Or, do you always tell your friend what he or she should do? If yes, you are being a possessive friend. If there’s a possessive boyfriend or girlfriend, there’s also what you call a possessive friend.
If you start controlling what your friend is doing, it’s time to take a step back and stop being a possessive friend. Here are some ways for you to do it.
1. Remember that you don’t own your friend.
Even if you’re too close to each other that you are like siblings or even look like lovers already, remember that you still have no control of your friend’s life. You don’t own your friend, and no one owns anyone. Start changing your mindset, so he or she will not find the friendship stifling.
2. Assess your own actions.
Whenever you ask your friend to do something for or with you, assess your own thoughts or actions first. Do you think you’re being insensitive with his or her own time? Do you think you’re asking too much from him or her already? Start being conscious of your actions in order to stop being a possessive friend.
3. Respect your friend.
As a friend, you need to respect him or her. Respect her individuality. Respect his or her preferences. Respect his or her own decisions. If you are a true friend, you will give him pieces of advice, but you will not impose on your friend. You can’t dictate what he or she should do because in the end, it’s your friend’s life. You are just there to support your friend just like how or she supports you.
4. Give your friend some space.
Even married people need some personal space and time. There’s no reason why you can’t give your friend the space that he or she needs. Allow your friend to explore new things, chase his or her own dreams, and discover more about himself or herself- with or without your constant involvement.
5. Be open to possibilities.
There will come a time that your friend will no longer text you every day. There will come a time that he or she will have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, and you know where that usually leads to, right? There will come a time that he or she will no longer have much time for you. There will come a time that you will just stop communicating with each other. You can’t expect your friend to stay and be there for you all the time. Hence, be open to every possibility. Be open to the idea that you might part each other’s ways. If you are ready for those possibilities, then it will be easier for you to stop being a possessive friend.
6. Do the things that you love.
To further help yourself stop from being a possessive friend, try to focus on the things that you love doing. Watch your favorite movie on your own. Sing your heart out. Yes, it’s fun to spend time with your friend, but don’t forget to have fun on your own. Learn to be happy with or without your friend.
7. Find new hobbies.
Aside from doing the things that you love, find some new hobbies. Try new things. If you haven’t tried traveling alone, then maybe it’s time for you to discover places on your own. It’s time for you to have a coffee date with yourself. Read books. Attend social gatherings or community programs. Involving yourself in new activities will not only help you stop from constantly demanding your friend’s time and attention, but it might just also help you discover more about yourself.
8. Meet new people.
In order for you to stop being a possessive friend, make sure that you get to meet new people. Go out. Socialize. Be open to the idea that you’re going to have other friends. Your world does not revolve around your best friend alone. There’s more that you can do. You will meet more interesting people along the way. Just allow your social circle to expand.
9. Get to know your friend’s friends.
Since you’re already open to meeting new people, you might as well maximize your potential resources. Instead of telling your best friend to not go out with his or her friends, why don’t you go meet his or her other circle of friends? It’s your chance to gain other friends. It’s your chance to see why your best friend loves hanging out with them. Lastly, it’s your chance to meet wonderful people and even learn from them.
10. Try to be more independent.
The key to stop being a possessive friend is to be more independent. Learn to accomplish things on your own. Learn to eat by yourself. Travel alone sometimes. Make major decisions even without your friend. It’s a bonus if your friend is there for you, but remember that you have to be independent. You are responsible for your own life.
11. Be mature.
Do you find it hard to stop being a possessive friend? Then, remember that you and your best friend are two mature individuals who lead different lives. If you think you’re not yet mature, then it’s your chance to let yourself grow. Recall the times when your friend complained about you being controlling. Learn from your past mistakes. Be mature enough to handle your tendency to be a possessive friend.
Guilty of being a possessive friend? It’s alright. Maybe, you just love your friend that much that you’re afraid to lose him or her. However, know that being a possessive friend is unhealthy. It’s not healthy for you, your friend, and your friendship. Don’t wait for the day that your friend will give up on you. Treasure the friendship that you have right now, and start building a healthier relationship with your friend!