Women often forget that they aren’t the only ones plagued with insecurities – men have them too. A guy will rarely ever admit to suffering from body image issues or disclose his anxiety when first having sex with a new partner. They’re not usually in the habit of wanting to talk about it, but you never know when you might be hurting your guy when you bring up these issues.
Despite the fact that men don’t openly talk about what makes them insecure about themselves, a lot of them really wish women would be a bit more understanding of their issues.
Top 12 common men’s insecurities
Here are some of the insecurities that guys deal with on a regular basis that girls often don’t even realize.
#1 Body image issues. Guys have struggles with their body image the same way that girls do. A guy might worry about being too scrawny or question if a girl will be turned off by his beer belly. Why do you think so many guys are at the gym, vigorously working on their arms, pecs, and abs?
Guys can also be insecure about their height, especially if they are shorter or drastically taller than someone they are dating. [Read: 20 secret things about men that they wish women knew]
#2 Face and body hair. So many guys go through similar hair removal efforts as women do in order to minimize their body hair and feel more attractive. Other guys are obsessed with their lack of ability to grow full facial hair, and are therefore insecure that they look young or less “manly.” Other guys shave regularly to avoid looking scruffy or too hairy.
The hair on a man’s head is another cause for insecurity, especially if he’s balding or thinning. He might hide behind hats or even shave it off completely in order to avoid being ridiculed by his friends or the opposite sex.
#3 His hands and feet. Guys can be super insecure if they have feminine-looking or small hands because it can seem less macho and masculine to a girl. Some even feel like they’ll be judged for having delicate hands because it makes them look like they don’t know how to work with their hands.
Having small feet is another sensitive subject for guys because of the myth that small feet equate to having a small package. Some men might go to drastic measures, like wearing shoes that are too big for them, just to avoid being judged by their boys or by a girl they like.
#4 His teeth and smile. Believe it or not, guys can be insecure about their smile and their teeth just as much as women are. Whether they have super small teeth, gaps, overbites, or crooked teeth, they all worry that they look unattractive or come across as having poor hygiene.
#5 Finances. Guys can be super insecure about their finances and how much money they make, based on the assumption that men are supposed to support a family or “bring home the bacon.” Even though this is an old-fashioned macho mentality, men still feel the pressure to measure up to other men financially. [Read: 5 things you need to do if your man makes less money than you]
Some guys believe that girls will stick with someone who is more financially secure, and thus worry about losing their girlfriend to someone who makes more money than they do.
#6 His living situation. Most guys know that women generally prefer a man who has his own place. If he’s a mama’s boy who still lives at home and has zero responsibilities inside the house, chances are, he’s dropped a few notches on the ideal date scale. A guy will usually aspire to live on his own and will feel incredibly insecure if his living situation ruins his image. [Read: On dating the guy who still lives with his parents]
#7 His car. Guys take pride in their cars because it can feel like an extension of themselves. If a guy drives a jalopy, he may be incredibly insecure of what other guys and girls think of him. Having a nice car is often part of the package of a confident guy. If he’s still paying to get through college before buying his dream car, he could be feeling the pressure.
#8 How he measures down there. When it comes to a guy’s pleasure pistol, he will wonder incessantly about how he measures up to other guys his age. Guys will watch porn just to compare their member to other guys in order to feel like they aren’t abnormal or lacking in some way.
Guys can be insecure about whether or not the way their penis looks and is shaped makes it any less normal. They will obsess about the length, girth, color, or texture of their penis, how their balls look, if being circumcised or uncircumcised is better, and whether or not they should trim or shave their hair down there. [Read: 7 things to love about an uncircumcised penis]
#9 Sexual performance. All guys want to believe that they are the best you’ve ever had in bed. However, unless they’re incredibly conceited, they will generally feel insecure about one thing or another when it comes to having sex with a new girl for the first time.
Believe it or not, while you’re trying to hide your cellulite, he’s wondering what you’re thinking when he takes off his shirt and how you think he looks while he’s getting into it. Guys can be incredibly self-conscious of how they sweat during sex, how fast or slow they orgasm, in addition to the noises and facial expressions they make.
He will also be insecure about whether or not you’re faking your orgasm, and so comes the epic question that almost every guy asks after sex, “was it good for you?” A guy’s ego hangs on by a thread for the answer! [Read: 10 subtle ways to help him get better in bed]
#10 His job. It’s a fact that some guys pride themselves on the level they are at in their job or career. Guys who are still at minimum wage jobs are constantly insecure of how they measure up in society and in the eyes of people that matter to them, whereas guys in higher positions feel a sense of pride, accomplishment, and self-confidence.
#11 Sense of style. Some guys wonder what others think of their personal style and clothing choices. Women aren’t the only ones who obsess over their sense of fashion, especially when trying to attract the opposite sex. Men are also guilty of trying on a few different outfits before settling for a style that they feel comfortable with. They also judge themselves based on how other guys dress.
#12 Their natural odor. Ever wonder why some guys seem drenched in cologne when you first meet them? It’s because secretly, they wonder if you’ll like their natural scent. Guys can actually be insecure about whether or not they smell good on their own or if their natural eau de cologne can be off-putting to women.
Women are often all too quick to forget that guys need approval and security the same way that girls do. If you’re in a relationship, remember to go easy on your guy, now that you know he’s also facing a war against his own insecurities. [Read: 14 things you say or do that emasculates your man and makes him shrivel up]
Compliment him and make sure he knows exactly what you like about him. It doesn’t hurt to tell him when he’s doing a good job in bed either. When he feels secure and confident, you’ll definitely have a happy man on your hands.
It’s true that guys have insecurities too! While it’s not every day you’ll hear a guy fess up about their inner fears of how others perceive them, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have any.