Do all of your relationships seem to crash and burn after just a few months? Chances are, there were red flags that popped up as soon as you met your new bae, but you were too in love to even notice. When you’re entering a new relationship, you’re usually blinded by the strong feelings you feel for your new guy, so it’s hard to take a step back when things just don’t feel right. But there are some subtle (and not so subtle) signs that your relationship is headed down a rocky and bumpy road. So instead of bracing yourself for the impact, recognize these 12 relationship red flags that you definitely shouldn’t ignore.
12He Hates His Parents
You shouldn’t expect his relationship with his ‘rents to be peachy keen 24/7, but if a guy has major issues with his family, it is definitely a bad sign. Play close attention to how he acts when he’s in his parents’ presence. Is he disrespectful and degrading to them? Do they constantly argue and bicker about the dumbest things? If you continue being in the relationship, you may eventually get sucked into their dysfunctional family. Is this the life you really want to live?
11He Can’t Apologize Ever
You may think he’s being stubborn because he refuses to apologize, but a guy who can never admit to his wrongdoings has psychological issues that will build up over time. According to research studies, non-apologists refuse to say “I’m sorry” because it fills them with shame and causes them to feel bad about themselves. It’s a way to harbor emotions, or in other words, the guy who can’t apologize has some deep head issues that will only damage a relationship in the long run.
10Everyone Hates Him
Your family and friends only want the best for you, so if they’re leery about your new boyfriend, don’t ignore their concerns. Those who care about you the most will give you an unbiased opinion from an outsider’s perspective. So if everyone who’s close to you hates your new boo’s guts, and they have legit reasons to not like him, you should definitely take their opinions into consideration.
9He Plays Games
As you fall deeper in love, you may not even notice your bae is running games on you. A manipulator will slowly creep into your life, and eventually, they will make you think you’re going completely nuts. One common form of manipulation is called gaslighting. This is when your BF dismisses your feelings, makes you feel like you’re constantly at fault, and playing head games that will leave you feeling sad and unwanted. Over time, your self-esteem will be completely crushed, and you’ll wonder whatever happened to the happy and fun-loving girl you used to be.
8He’s Always Busy
We all get busy with work and school, but a guy who’s always too busy for you and your relationship won’t be making you a priority any time soon. Perhaps it’s just bad timing, or he doesn’t know how to juggle multiple responsibilities in his life. But either way, you’re bound to feel neglected as time goes on, so it’s best to cut ties and move on.
7All His Exes Are “Crazy”
We all have that one crazy ex that made us think we were living in a real-life horror flick, but if all of your boyfriend’s exes get the “crazy” label, it really says more about him than it does about his exes. How is it possible that he’s able to attract all these crazy females? Well, the common denominator is him. If you stay in the relationship, you’ll likely be the next woman added to his “crazy exes” list.
6He’s Too Pushy
Some guys will try to push the relationship into full speed as soon as they meet you. They may profess their love for you, promise to take care of you financially, or start planning week-long trips for the two of you to take. But a real relationship with a close bond takes a lot of time to develop, and it’s not something that happens overnight. You know the saying “haste makes waste”? Well, it can apply to relationships as well. Slow and steady wins the race, so pump the brakes, and if he is still interested in getting to know you at the speed you’re comfortable with then he’s a keeper. But keep in mind, these kind of pushy men are usually out to just hit it and quit it.
5He Dismisses Your Feelings
A man who dismisses your feelings is so uncomfortable with dealing with emotions, he’ll never be the type of emotional support system you’re looking for. If he sees you crying, and starts yelling at you to “suck it up,” then that right there tells you that not only is he insensitive, but he’s a major tool, too!
4He Tries to Change You
If a guy agrees to be in a relationship with you, he obviously loves everything about you, right? Wrong! Some men will slowly try to push their ideas onto you, and attempt to change everything about you. They want to mold you into their idea of their dream girl because they want to be in full control of you. It may start off subtle, with him telling you he only likes girls who wear red nail polish. Over time, you’ll try to conform to his idea of beauty to keep him happy and to keep him in your life. But you don’t have to change for anyone. You’re perfect just the way you are!
3The Silent Treatment
Have you ever gotten into an argument with your boyfriend and he completely ignored you for the next four days? He may have sent all your calls to voicemail, and when you were in his presence, he acted like you don’t even exist. The silent treatment is a passive aggressive form of emotional abuse that really does a number to the person on the receiving end. You may beg and plead for him to acknowledge you, but trying to get a reaction will only cause things to get worse. Do you really want to be with someone who is so emotionally stunted that they can’t even realize how damaging ignoring someone they love can be?
One moment he’s so happy to be with you, and the next moment, he’s a raging lunatic. Being with this type of boyfriend is like opening up a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get. You’ll find yourself walking on eggshells and trying your hardest not to be the reason for the shift in his mood. But just know, this is one relationship red flag that you shouldn’t try to fix nor ignore.
1He Pushes Your Boundaries
Does your BF ignore you when you ask him to stop poking you? Does he roll his eyes when you tell him he’s being a little too forceful? A man who pushes your personal boundaries doesn’t respect you. It may start off as something small, but over time, he may up the ante and really start to push you to your breaking point. Don’t wait for that time to come, it’s best to end the relationship now before things go too far.