Love may sometimes be blind, but it shouldn’t stay blind for majority of the time. When you’re in love with someone, it’s easy to look past their faults and focus on their better points. At first, it’s easy to say that your partner will change for the better, that they will learn or that your love is stronger than a bunch of annoying pet peeves.
However, there will be a time when you’ll be tired of making excuses. You’ll find that your partner is no closer to learning from their mistakes and that it seems like there’s hardly any hope for change. You’ll eventually learn that love can’t cure huge character flaws.
Before you suddenly wake up and ask yourself “what have I been doing with this person?” you may have already spotted a couple of signs that this relationship may not be heading anywhere. You may have already seen the little signs telling you that this relationship isn’t one of your best ideas.
Signs that you shouldn’t be with your partner
What signs are we talking about? Here are some of the most telling red flags that many people may often try to ignore at first, until they finally decide to kick their soon-to-be ex to the curb.
#1 Your partner is a bit of a user. Do you sometimes notice that your partner often asks you for favors? Do you notice that they hang around you when you’ve got cash, but may sometimes be flaky when you’re a little broke? Do you often feel like your relationship mostly revolves around *? These may be some of the telltale signs that your partner may be using you.
Helping your partner out is part of being in a relationship. But when you notice that your partner is only around when they need something, you may be the victim of a user. Sometimes, it truly feels nice to be needed. However, when you find out that you can hardly ask your partner for the littlest favor, then it’s a different story.
#2 Your partner tries to change you. Constructive criticism stated in a tactful way lets us know that there are things that we can do to try and improve ourselves. But when you notice that you’re just receiving criticism that’s not even constructive from your loved one, then this is a huge red flag. It’s an even bigger red flag if you notice that your partner is changing who you are as a person.
The desire to change should come from you, and these changes should be made because you believe that this will make you a better person. If you’ve changed as a result of your partner telling to become someone else, this could be a sign that your partner doesn’t accept you for who you are. They simply see you as a canvas for painting the type of person they want in a partner.
#3 Disrespect. It doesn’t even have to be you that your partner directly disrespects. Your partner may start to make snide comments about other people or even outright be rude to them. It’s easy to think that you’re special because out of all the people, it’s you that your partner chooses to be nice to.
However, when being disrespectful is ingrained into someone’s personality, it can be hard to escape. Who knows, you might suddenly do something to completely piss your partner off, and then you’d be the object of their spite. Do you really want to wait around for this ticking time bomb to explode?
#4 Drastic mood swings. One minute, everything’s fine and dandy, and the next minute your partner explodes into a fit of rage that even the Richter scale would pick up on. When you’re in love, you may just brush it off and think that it’s one of those things that just happen.
But eventually you’ll realize that it can be tiring to be there when these dramatic swings happen. It’s like they’re taking you hostage on their emotional rollercoaster!
#5 Anger issues. People who have this genuinely need help. Since they’re not completely able to control their rage, they may come off as abusive. Sometimes, those who have anger issues have become very good at apologizing and trying to make amends. However, unless they actually seek help to be able to control their temper issues, you never know when they might have another episode that can turn violent.
#6 Too possessive and jealous. Oftentimes, these traits are grounded in insecurity. You may be flattered at first, because it seems like your partner never wants to lose you. However, in time, you may notice that their jealousy can become irrational. Simply talking to someone of the opposite * can trigger a barrage of accusations that you’re being too flirtatious with another person.
When you’re seeing someone who’s too jealous and possessive, it can sometimes feel like they have a chokehold on you all the time. And this is usually what leads to conflicts, and finally, a breakup.
#7 Too secretive. Have you ever asked your partner something, and their response is to shrug off the question? This is fine, especially if you’re in a new relationship and your partner would prefer to keep some things private.
However, if you’ve been together for a while, there should be some trust and honesty, especially if it’s about something that could potentially affect your relationship. You deserve to know the important things about the person you’re with. Without that openness, you may only be in a relationship with one side of your partner.
#8 Lies a lot. This is possibly one of the biggest red flags in a relationship. It tells you that your partner is keeping something from you. When you catch your partner lying about something, it may be because they are up to something behind your back. It can be hard to build trust with someone who’s constantly fibbing. And without trust, what kind of relationship do you really have?
#9 Emotionally distant. Some people find it hard to open up, and it can require a lot of patience, until your partner does this. But if you feel like you’re the only one who’s emotionally available, your partnership can start to feel a little one-sided. After some time, you may start to feel like you’re the only one who’s constantly trying to reach out.
#10 Refuses to apologize for anything. This can be a sign that your partner values their pride more than your relationship. “Sorry” can be one of the hardest things to say. But if your partner is always blaming you for things that go wrong or they refuse to acknowledge that they did something wrong, how can you expect to start patching up your relationship? That just means your partner won’t take responsibility for their actions, and this in itself can also be a sign of immaturity.
#11 Tells people about your problems. When you’re in a relationship with someone, you’d expect that they would be trustworthy enough to keep your secrets, right? However, there are some people who just can’t keep these things to themselves.
Telling other people about things you’d rather keep private is a sign that your partner is being inconsiderate of your feelings. It’s irresponsible and in bad taste. Do you want to be with someone who insists on airing your dirty laundry to people who have no business knowing what’s going on in your relationship?
#12 Avoids confrontation at all costs. When you want to talk to your partner about a serious matter, the least they could do is listen, right? This shows that they actually care about what you have to say. But when your partner practically falls off the face of the earth when you need to talk about something, what does this tell you?
It would seem that your partner is only there when things are going great. But when the going gets tough, they walk the other way or turn into a brick wall. Not only is it rude, but it’s also a sign that they can’t face problems in a healthy way.