It’s happened to all of us. We meet a guy whom we think is attractive, intelligent, and charming, and start talking to him on a regular basis. We may even go out on a few dates with him. Yet, after getting to know him a bit better, we start to realize that he’s not as great as he seemed.
Either we find out some disturbing facts about his life, or he starts giving off a vibe that he may not be quite right in the head. Pretty soon, we start to wish we never met the guy, and we’d do almost anything to get him to go away—the only problem is, he’s become incredibly smitten!
He always seems to be hanging around, and it’s gotten to the point that telling him to get lost could make him upset enough to something stupid.
How to get rid of a persistent admirer
Fortunately, there are a variety of ways to get a creep to leave you alone without using those harsh words. Here are 12 of the most effective methods to free yourself from a creep’s unwanted attention, each of which is best suited for a certain level of creepiness.
#1 Tell him politely that you’re not interested. If you just find the guy mildly creepy, and not exactly threatening, then honesty is the best policy. Tell him that he’s a good guy *even if he’s not*, but you’re just not interested in him in a romantic way.
If he asks why, point to some significant differences between the two of you, such as the fact that you enjoy athletic activities and he doesn’t, or that you like to party while he enjoys quiet nights in. He may ask if you can still be friends, but to duck out of that one, you could tell him that you would feel awkward continuing a friendship with him after what has transpired.
#2 Stop returning his calls and texts. When a creepy guy’s not 100% obsessed with you, or is after other girls too, you may not have to deliver the speech above. Instead, you may be able to slowly fade out of his life.
The first thing you need to do is to stop returning his calls and texts even if you’re bored, as this will make him hold on to any hope he has that you may be interested in him. After a few unreturned texts and calls, he should take the hint—otherwise, you may have to break out the “we’re not a match” speech after all.
#3 Block him on social media. Along with not returning his calls and texts, you should block him on any social media contact lists he’s currently on. If you feel like blocking is too harsh, and you think he’s fairly harmless, at least delete him.
Keeping him on your contact lists will just give him the feeling that you two still have some sort of connection, whether it’s personal or even professional, and that it’s acceptable for him to contact you.
#4 Change your phone number. It’s a huge pain to have to change your phone number, but if a guy continues to text and call you multiple times a day, even after he knows you’re not interested, it might be something you’ll have to do for your own sanity.
Once you get your new phone number, don’t post it anywhere online, since the creep or one of his snooping friends might stumble upon it. Also, make sure to tell your friends to never, ever give out your number without consulting you first.
#5 Pretend that you have a boyfriend. Sometimes, if creeps think you already have a guy, they will back off and move on to another girl. This is especially true if the creep in question is a bit shy and awkward.
You can start by simply informing Mr. Creepy that you’re no longer single, and he may go off on his merry way. If he doesn’t and reacts aggressively to the news, you may have to get a well-muscled guy friend to pretend to be your boyfriend when you two see him around.
#6 Get a dog. This isn’t a realistic option for everyone, but if you have a job and your own place, and you’ve been stalked by one of the creepiest guys out there, consider investing in a dog. If you think the creep in question is going to show up at your house at some point, knowing that you have a dog might scare him away. A medium to large-sized dog can also act as protection if you’re out walking and you happen to run into him.
#7 Travel with friends. If you feel as if a creepy guy is posing a threat to your safety, it’s best not to travel solo. Instead of walking around alone, go about town with a girlfriend or two or even a mixed group whenever possible. If you drive, you should be fine, as long as you park close to the entrance of any place you’re going into at night.
Creeps tend to bother women who are alone, so if they see that people are with you, they’re likely to continue right on by. If a particular creep does harass you, at least you’ll have someone who will stand up for you.
#8 Find alternate routes to school, work, etc. For frequent walkers, the route you currently walk to school, work, or any other regular activity may take you directly by the creep’s place of residence, his workplace, or someplace he hangs out often. If he’s extra sketchy, he may even plant himself along your route on purpose.
Therefore, when avoiding a creep who is often in your area for whatever reason, it’s best to find alternate ways to get to the places you regularly travel to on foot. It may take you a tad bit longer to walk to your destinations, but at least you’ll know you’re safe.
#9 Wear a hat and sunglasses. A hat and sunglasses come in handy if you absolutely need to spend time in a place that you may spot him in. The creep can only bother you if he recognizes you, and if you’ve got most of your hair tucked under your hat and your eyes covered, he likely won’t.
#10 Alert your boss and coworkers. When you won’t return his calls, texts or online messages, it’s likely that the first place a creep will think to look for you is your workplace. If you think there’s a serious possibility of him showing up while you’re on the job, tell your boss and coworkers about him. That way, they can quickly call security and get him escorted out if he becomes a bother.
By the way, if you think that the creepy guy you’ve met doesn’t know where you work, don’t be so sure—these men are often very skilled at finding out these things!
#11 Have another guy you trust tell him to cease communication. Unfortunately for us, men often are more responsive when other men tell them what to do, as opposed to women. If the creep you’re associated with is very persistent and continually tries to get in contact with you, you may need to solicit the help of your brother, a male relative or a trusted male friend.
You should choose the guy in your life that seems most powerful and convincing, so that when he informs this creepy dude that you don’t want to communicate with him any longer, the creep will be left quaking in his boots. The only situation in which you shouldn’t ask another guy for help is if you think the creep may hurt them. And if that’s the case…
#12 Involve the police. This is a last resort and should only be used in extreme cases in which a creep seems very dangerous and several other solutions have not worked. If you call the cops on a creepy guy, be prepared to provide proof of any threats or otherwise disturbing messages that he’s sent you.
Once you think a situation with a creep may progress to this stage, make sure you save all online messages, texts, and voicemails that he leaves for you. In all likelihood, he’ll get charged if he’s subjected you to harassment, but you need to have valid evidence to make your case.
If you’re just dealing with an awkward guy, cutting off contact yourself should suffice. However, if the creep seems like he could become a full-fledged stalker, taking more serious measures may be necessary. Regardless of the type of action you take, you should never feel guilty, as long as it’s legal—you have a right to live your life in peace without worrying about a troublesome man!