Tired of being single and dating one total loser after the next? Of course you are. Who isn’t? It can be really hard to go on first date after first date and never feel like you’re meeting anyone that you really click with. But you not only want to meet someone awesome who lights up your entire world, but you also want to fall in love. That means a real, true relationship that isn’t full of lame dating games or high expectations that aren’t being met. Feeling totally lost and like you’d rather lie on the couch watching Netflix every single night of your life rather than go on yet another awful date? You don’t have to live that way. You can totally attract the kind of good relationship that you want. Here are 12 ways to make your next relationship the real deal.
12Take A Look In The Mirror
When you’re not getting the results out of any situation that you want, whether you’re desperate for a promotion that your boss just won’t give you or you’re constantly dating the wrong guys, it’s super tempting to blame other people. But if you want a real relationship to happen sooner rather than later, then you have to take a long, hard look in the mirror. Think about what you’ve done wrong in the past, what mistakes you’ve made, and what you can change with your next boyfriend. It won’t be pretty or fun but it will be worth it.
If you really want love, you can’t sit back and wait for so-called fate or destiny or the universe to bring you your own rom-com fairy tale ending. That’s a nice dream but that’s just not going to happen. If you’re truly ready for a real relationship, then you need to get strategic about it. You wouldn’t just randomly apply for jobs without having a strategy, right? Exactly. So go ahead and join some online dating sites, start swiping right and left on Tinder, and make sure that if you want to go on 1-2 dates a week or so, you’re putting yourself out there.
10Stop Wasting Your Own Time
It’s very nice, polite and friendly to accept second dates all the time and figure that you never know what kind of person you’re going to want to be with. But that’s not super realistic. It’s a good idea to think about the kind of guy that you want a relationship with. It’s so much better to know ahead of time. So, for example, when you go on a first date with a guy that hates his family, and you’re all about family, you’ll have no issues turning down a second chance to get to know him. You’ll just know he’s not right for you and you won’t waste your own time.
It’s not a real relationship (or a very pleasant one) if you’re the only loud voice. You shouldn’t be talking all the time. Not only will you drive your boyfriend totally crazy, but it’s really rude not to listen to what your other half has to say. You shouldn’t dominate the conversation, but you should also make sure that your BF’s needs are being met in the relationship too, instead of just focusing on yourself all the time.
8Ignore The Little Things
Don’t make big fights out of absolutely nothing. If you do, or you have in the past, then you’ll never be in a proper relationship. Look, you’re not perfect and you have flaws, and so of course your boyfriend won’t be perfect either. You can’t freak out every time he forgets to get mushrooms on pizza when he’s the one ordering or when he’s a bit too stressed about work.
7Quit Being So Jealous
Being jealous of whoever you’re dating is not only super immature, but it’s also pretty unfair. Unless you really have something to complain about, like your boyfriend is texting his female coworker way too often and you get the feeling that he’s definitely cheating, you should trust him. If you trust him, you won’t feel the need to be jealous at all. Jealously basically has zero place in a real relationship.
6Have More Fun
You probably didn’t enjoy your previous relationships as much as you wanted to. Maybe you worried too much about whether you were crossing off enough milestones off your list (like changing your Facebook status, meeting each others’ parents and friends, etc.). Maybe you were always on your BF to spend more time with you when he really did have to work a lot that week. If you want the real deal, you’re going to have to learn to enjoy yourself more when the two of you are together. Plan cool dates, try new things, and you’ll both be much happier.
5Check In Often
The best couples are the ones who are still together, even when they’re apart. They send cute, funny and sweet text messages to each other throughout the work day. They send good luck texts with emojis when the other person has a status meeting with their boss or are pitching a huge new idea. It’s a good idea to always check in with your boyfriend, so you don’t feel too distant.
4Stop Being So Stubborn
You probably ruined at least one relationship in the past by being super stubborn about every single thing, from where you wanted to eat dinner to the kind of movies you would see to how much attention you needed your boyfriend to pay. That probably didn’t work out too well for you, especially if you’re now single and looking for your next love story. If you can quit being so stubborn and loosen up a bit (or a lot), then your next boyfriend really will be the real deal.
3Don’t Get Advice
When you ask other people for relationship advice you’re honestly hurting yourself and your boyfriend, too. Usually when you ask for advice, whether you’re texting your best friend in the whole world or calling up your mom, you’ve already made up your mind. So go ahead and act based on whatever you think and feel is right instead of asking people what you should do. That’s honestly the only way to make sure that you’re doing what’s right for your relationship.
2Forget The Past
A lot of issues stem from repeating mistakes you’ve made or bugging your boyfriend to spill every detail of his past relationship. That’s not a good way to be at all. If you can treat each new boyfriend as exactly as who he is – a new guy in your life, not your ex – then you’ll be respecting and valuing his place in your world. Why blame him on things that someone else did? Sounds pretty crazy.
1Be More Open-Minded
A relationship isn’t about having expectations for how your boyfriend should behave and treat you, and then getting all pissy and immature when he doesn’t deliver. Of course you should expect love and respect, but those kind of go without saying. You need to be more open-minded so you understand that things happen and things go wrong and relationships aren’t going to be as perfect as you want them to be. Once you can open up your mind and allow whatever is meant to be to happen, a real relationship won’t be far away.