Whether it’s love or plain lust, emotions can trick us into staying in a terrible relationship for way too long. Sometimes, these unhealthy relationships persist so long that they become bigger mistakes than they should. Bad relationships turn into marriages that end in divorce and a multiplied heart break.
Often, we know deep down that we should end things in an unhealthy relationship, but they become as addicting as any drug. The best way to get over a drug addiction, is to completely cut yourself off from the source.
If you relate to any of the 13 warning signs of an unhealthy relationship listed below, it’s time to check yourself out of the mistake, close that chapter of your life and make room for someone truly worth your time. At the very least, give yourself some space and respect your right to live a happy, healthy life. Chances are, if you’re questioning whether or not you are in an unhealthy relationship, things aren’t looking so good for you. But why not read the points below just to reinforce the fact that you need to check yourself before you wreck yourself ASAP.
13You’re afraid to tell the truth.
You find yourself lying about random things that shouldn’t make anyone in their right mind upset or jealous. Maybe he is the possessive type who dislikes when you spend time with anyone else. Perhaps you find yourself lying about grabbing lunch with your cousin. On the other hand, you could be lying because of the pressure he puts on you to be a certain way. If you feel the need to lie about your past, your current situation and your plans for the future because you don’t want to disappoint him, the relationship will never work.
12You lost your friends.
If you’ve lost a couple of your close girlfriends, or worse, a handful of good friends ever since you started seeing your significant other, chances are you’ve got yourself into quite an unhealthy situation. Whether it’s solely your obsession with him that made you forget about the other people in your life, or his insistence that you spend all of your free time with him, a healthy relationship will maintain balance between your guy and your friends.
11You feel bad about accomplishments.
If you’re constantly feeling like you need to dumb down your accomplishments when you’re talking to him, it’s time to accomplish dumping him. When girls start to feel bad about accomplishments, it’s a telltale sign that they have a jealous, possessive boyfriend who probably isn’t going very far in life. The right guy will celebrate your accomplishments with you.
10You hold back.
In a stable, loving relationship, the floor should always be open for discussion. If you systematically feel nervous or hesitant to tell him how you really feel, whether it is that you are madly in love with him or frustrated with him, chances are you are trying to be something you’re not – in a relationship held together by a string.
9You’re both snooping around.
If whenever he looks away, you feel the urge to pounce on his phone and quickly browse through his messages for any clues of infidelity, you need out. You’re better than that, seriously. On the other hand, if he is regularly invading privacy to sort through your messages, pictures, etc. he doesn’t trust you enough to be with you.
8You question if he loves you.
Regardless of how he treats you, if you’re constantly having a discussion with yourself about whether or not you two love each other equally, it’s time to bail. This also has to come from legitimate concern, if you are insecure and questioning his love when he is always trying to prove it, then you need to fix the way you think in your relationship.
7Interests fall by the wayside.
An amazing indicator of whether or not you are losing yourself to a negative relationship is the status of your passions. Sometimes, it can be shocking how we let our interests such as reading, painting, writing or even just working out at the gym, slip away and lose the battle to an unhealthy relationship. If you’ve let yourself go, the frustration can turn into a vicious cycle that builds resentment and worsens the already sub-optimal relationship.
6Your family hates him.
One of the best ways to know if you’re in an unhealthy relationship is whether or not your family approves of the guy. Most times, when a family dislikes your boyfriend, it’s because he is either blatantly rude and disrespectful or has hurt you majorly in the past. Both of these types of guys (not mutually-exclusive) should be eliminated from your dating roster stat.
5You’re no longer attracted.
When you continue to date him after you no longer find him attractive, it’s usually because you are using him for sex, attention and/or stability. If you love someone in a romantic relationship, their attractiveness never fades away. No relationship is easy to end, unhealthy or perfect as ever. If he has become just a friend who you don’t fantasize yourself sleeping with, make sure you tell him how you feel so you can both enter healthy relationships once again.
4He makes you feel bad.
Whether intentionally or not, if you feel stupid or unattractive around your boyfriend, there’s something seriously wrong. Good relationships are those which lift you up and make you feel like you’re better than you were when you didn’t know each other. If you find yourself getting shy when stating your opinion, cutting back on pizza because he made a fat joke, etc. ask yourself truly if the relationship is serving your better self.
3You forget why you’re fighting.
If you find yourself screaming at the top of your lungs “Why are we yelling,” shake it off and break it off for good. In a healthy relationship, it’s okay to argue sometimes, even over the not so important stuff. However, when you realize that you spend more time fighting than actually enjoying each other’s company, anger may just be a natural reaction to one another’s presence. In this type of unhealthy relationship, someone doesn’t even have to act out in order to rile the other person up.
2You’re afraid of him.
When you have even the slightest fear that he may act out violently against you, you need to pack your bags and never turn back. Abuse in any way should never be tolerated on either end of the relationship. If he gives you the idea that he may physically harm you, there is absolutely no logical reason to stick around and find out. He’s not the one. End of story.
1The trust is gone.
If the concept of trust is completely foreign to your relationship, you’ve experienced the cornerstone characteristic of most couples gone wrong. Trust is the most fundamental part of any healthy relationship, and once deteriorated it often never fully recovers from the blow. If you can’t nurture the trust, forget about salvaging any relationship.