Whether you’ve been in a relationship for five years or five days, there can be some major issues that should never be looked passed in a relationship. Shady behavior and a gut feeling that something is off and won’t go away is enough to get you paying closer attention to what’s really happening between the two of you.
And today we’ve compiled 15 red flags you should never, ever ignore. Some may be personal deal breakers already and others may be flashing signs that you haven’t realized were a real warning. You either need to address and acknowledge these issues or get out before the problems escalate. Take a peek and see if something between your duo falls underneath the headlines. Always be on the lookout for these indicators, especially in the beginning of a relationship that something needs to be questioned before you’re in too deep!
15They Never Apologize
Have you ever heard your significant other say “I’m sorry,” for anything? Is your partner able to realize when he/she is in the wrong? If you are getting blamed for every argument or disagreement and he or she never takes responsibility for their own actions, use this as a big, red flashing sign to run. An inability to apologize can indicate many problems, one being that your partner assumes they are superior and do not owe an apology, to anyone. If your partner never thinks they are in the wrong this is concerning as well. Sometimes all we want is acknowledgement of any wrongdoing, otherwise it can be very difficult to move forward and forget the issue. Everyone screws up at some point in time and being able to apologize is key to any good and healthy relationship.
When one person decides to shut down at the thought of hard conversations or chat about feelings, this is called stonewalling. Do you feel as though you are ignored as soon as an important conversation needs to be had? This is not only concerning but can be the most frustrating situation to face in a relationship. Communication is what helps a relationship thrive and without it your problems will only continue to worsen. If your partner does this, it may be a good time to consider other options. If they’ll ignore you when you’re angry and refuse to answer questions, this is not only mean but this is also stonewalling. And this behavior is not okay. Being punished with the silent treatment is a huge red flag that need not be ignored.
13You Don’t Feel Special With Him/Her
There’s a glow about people in good relationships and if your glow has faded, it may be time to reevaluate the situation. Granted the honeymoon phase eventually fizzles out, but you should never feel less than special, especially in the eyes of your partner. After the honeymoon stage, there are so many other great phases a couple will go through. If you are no longer having fun and feel unappreciated then this is time to reconsider. Just because you no longer have that feeling of butterflies doesn’t mean the relationship is over, if your partner does not make you feel special this is a sign of trouble ahead. If there’s more resentment than a feeling of love, it’s time to have a talk. If you are having a tough time relating this message to your partner, due to lack of interest then you know it is definitely time to walk away.
12They Refuse To Go Public
Who wants to stay in a relationship when no one can even know about it? It is true that couples in long term relationships end up finding happiness in staying home together and watching movies or just being amongst themselves. But if you both never seem to go out in public together this is an issue. If your partner never seems to want to go out together he or she could be hiding something. Your relationship in that case is obviously not going anywhere or the future isn’t too bright if your partner wants to keep you under wraps. This is a blatant red flag to most, but there are too many that get caught up in their partner before they realize what’s actually sitting right in front of them and it isn’t love. If you want to delve further into this, try asking your partner to do something outside of the house. Find an activity you both enjoy and offer that as an option. If he or she refuses then you need to walk away, fast.
11Secretive About Little Things
If he or she is secretive about little things, you can be sure big things are just as hidden. And do you want that kind of uneasiness going forward in your relationship? You don’t need to spend your days feeling sick or stressed, wondering what your partner is hiding from you. Your significant other should be the one making you happy and helping you out when you are stressed. They should certainly not be causing your emotional pain. When shady behavior is involved, you’ll start to question every move your partner makes and this starts breaking down the trust and without that, a relationship will fail.
10Mean To Their Parents
Relationships with parents can be weird, they can be shaky and they’re not always great. But, when you find your partner being rude, mean or just completely uncaring to the people who took care of them since he/she was just a baby, that may make you second-guess how his/her treatment of others will be. The saying goes “By watching how he treats his mom, you’ll get a glimpse of how he will treat you.” And this goes for all the members of his family. If he is mean or rude to those who love him, take this as a warning sign. There are times when there are exceptions, but if his family is nothing but good to him, and he continues to treat them poorly this is your time to see how he may eventually treat you. Run, girl run!
9Rushing The Relationship
If you find your partner trying to rush your relationship in any way, you are in need of a conversation. Don’t just go with the flow if you’re feeling uncomfortable with something, speak up as it is definitely worth it. And if he/she doesn’t like to discuss it, be on high alert. According to Bustle “Simply put, people who feel good about and proud of the overall package they are don’t feel the need to rush because they don’t have emotional holes they’re looking to fill.” Therefor those who want to rush the relationship are not doing so for healthy reasons, they may be trying to fill a void or cover up an insecurity. Be careful not to allow yourself to be just swept along or overpowered by lust, make sure you’re being smart with your heart.
Every relationship needs boundaries. It’s important to set them and live by then. And when the boundaries fly out the window, you’re comfort level with your partner may too. Don’t let your loved one make fun of you or disrespect your personal space, it’s a sign and lack of trust and you’ll get frustrated quite quickly with the behavior. Once you start becoming too comfortable together, you may lose attraction for your partner. If your partner likes to do his/her business in the washroom with the door open, it may indicate comfort but there are times when people push boundaries and become too comfortable with one another.
7Suggests A Change In Your Look
Your partner should never try to change your look. And there shouldn’t be critical comments about your personal appearance unless you’ve asked specific questions. This is controlling behavior and it won’t make you feel good. If your partner does not like the way you look or dress then that is their problem, not yours. No one who loves you should ever try to change who you are, this is a very troubling sign. Those who fall for making small changes to please their partner end up changing their whole life around. Before you know it, you’ve lost all of your friends and barely talk to your family. Is that really a partner you’d want to be around for the long haul? Didn’t think so.
6No Work Ethic Or Drive
Does the man or woman in your life seem a bit lazy? Do they have goals and are they working toward them? Do they have pride in their work? If your partner has no drive or work ethic, run for the hills. Ambition is one of the most attractive qualities in a human being as this can stretch across all the facets of life. Someone who is ambitious will always strive for better. You want to learn from your partner not feel as though you have to be their parent. Who wants to be with someone that’s okay with living a stagnant life and having nothing to show for him or herself? You don’t work your butt off just to support someone who refuses to try. Move on.
This is a big one and it’s one that so many people overlook. Does your partner lie? Have you caught them lying about big things, small things or even most insignificant little details? If so there are other serious issues that need to be resolved in your relationship. Why spend your days worrying or wondering about if your partner is being honest with you. Lying is a deal breaker and one who continues to do it in the relationship, even when called out, doesn’t have enough respect for you. Theres a good chance your partner is being shady about other aspects of their life. It’s a major red flag flashing right in front of your eyes.
4Telling Your Secrets
The person you’re most intimate with in bed should also be the one you can be most intimate with outside of the bed. And if your partner has trouble keeping your secrets, there’s a problem and it is called trust, there is nothing worse than not being able to trust your partner. How can you share your life with someone you don’t trust. Intimacy is a big part of a relationship, if your partner tells everyone about the most sacred part of your lives, imagine what else they will gladly share with others. Don’t allow him/her to continue to spill your secrets, once –shame on them – twice – shame on you.
3Different Concepts Of Money
This issue may not come up until later in the relationship but it’s definitely one to think about before getting too serious. Do you and your partner have different spending and saving habits? Do one of you value a dollar while the other can’t think ahead enough to make sure there’s enough money to pay this month’s bills? Having different concepts of money can be a huge deal breaker down the road, so figure it out sooner rather than later. You don’t want to be stuck paying a mortgage with someone who can’t always come up with the money to pay it every month. You also don’t want to be working to help support a partner that is too busy living the good life. That isn’t fair to you and you shouldn’t put up with that.
2Two Different Ideas Of Cheating
According to YourTango: “According to research published in the journal Evolutionary Psychology, women fear that men with deeper voices are more likely to cheat on them, whereas men think women with higher-pitched voices will cheat on them. That’s because the more testosterone a man has, the lower his voice; the more estrogen a woman has, the higher her voice.”
And if you have different ideas of cheating, you may have a huge upset on your hands. Emotional cheating is still cheating so if one of you only thinks getting physical falls under the category, there could be turmoil on your hands. Your heart and hands should be kept only for your partner and if either of you are sharing both or one with someone else, we smell unfaithfulness brewing.
1They Roll Their Eyes At You
Rolling the eyes may seem pretty petty but it’s actually a huge sign of disrespect. If you find your partner continuously doing this during conversations or disagreements, he/she may not have enough regard for your feelings at all. And who wants to be with someone that’s this immature? Once you realize that this is a sign of disrespect you will begin to notice other mannerisms that are also concerning for your relationship. It’s also a common predictor of divorce – are you scared yet?