These days, men are getting a bad rep and with good reason. From all the Hollywood scandals to the #TimesUp movement on the red carpet, to women marching the streets in protest – women everywhere are finally taking the driver’s seat while men are being shoved to the passenger’s seat. And you know what? The good ones are happy about it. That being said, this list is specified to pertain certain facts about men that most women SHOULD know before being in a relationship with one.
Like women, men are complex creatures that can be difficult to figure out if you’re not paying close enough attention. But if you do actually pay attention, you’ll know these specific 15 facts about men and how they operate when they’re in a relationship. Far too often, we get on men for not being able to read us women properly and we don’t seem to understand that a relationship is a two-way street.
While some men will always remain a closed book and are still insanely hard to read, these particular facts generally apply to your typical guy when they’re in a long-term (or even in a short-term) relationship. And heck, if you don’t know them, perhaps you shouldn’t be in one with a guy.
15They Can Be Speechless On A First Date
When there is a lack of communication right at the beginning of a first date, a woman tends to over-think and assume the worst: “Does he not like me as much as I like him?” “Is he thinking about bailing?” “Is he thinking any differently of me after watching me eat?”. Here’s the thing: a man is allowed to be speechless on a first date. This usually happens if they’re intimidated by their date – whether it has to do with their looks or their mind (or a combination of both), sometimes, a man can just be stunned into silence. If you’re looking to date a person like this, it’s always best to lure them out of their state by attempting to engage them with comfortable questions. Men are allowed to be speechless, you know – it isn’t a bad thing.
14Is The Male Ego Is A Tricky Thing
I swear, I’m not sure if there’s anything worse than the male ego. Although most men won’t admit it, it probably is the most fragile thing on the face of the planet. And the higher a man is on a pedestal, the more fragile his ego becomes. It takes quite a bit for a woman to worm her way around her boyfriend’s ego because sometimes it’s like stepping on either shattered glass while barefoot, or stepping on eggshells… barefoot. It’s like a minefield where no one makes it out unscathed. If a woman isn’t aware of the male ego or assume it’s a myth, she’s in for a horrible surprise. Because EVERY man has an ego – it just varies on how large it is at times. And usually, women have to tend to them like they’re growing some sort of fragile, weak flower. No woman wants to do that.
13Men Aren’t Mind Readers So Knock Off Thinking That They Are, Ladies!
If you’re like me, the phrase “I’m fine” will set you off. Yes, this sets men off too. Remember that minefield I was talking about earlier? Well, this is defiantly one where we’ve lost a great deal of good men. I hate to break it to women (and men too, if they commonly use the “I’m fine” line when they’re clearly aren’t), but men aren’t mind-readers and can be pretty literal when it comes to certain phrases. If they ask you what’s wrong, and there’s something wrong, they expect that you’ll tell them. When you say “I’m fine” and ARNE’T fine, it’s just plain annoying. Learn to communicate properly because dudes are FAR from being mind readers. Trust me on this one – just knock it the heck off.
12The Men Are Trying To Live Up To A WOMAN’S Ideal Of Masculinity (Not A Dude’s)
Have you ever been speaking with a guy and he complains about how only “weak” men show their emotions? I have literally had no idea where some men get that idea in their head unless it was advice from their fathers. Thing is, that generation of “a man’s man” is pretty much dying out. Today’s man attempts to mold themselves after what he believes a WOMAN’S idea of what masculinity is. And while, yes, some women still believe that a “man’s man” ideal is the most attractive, today’s women are taking on that role THEMSELVES and have a different set of standards when it comes to their significant other’s masculinity. Trust us – straight men care about what women think of them, not what other men do.
11Intimacy Has More To Do With Their Self-Confidence
Yes, yes, we were all taught by our mothers that men “usually only have one thing on their minds”. And while that may be true a lot of the time, WHY it’s on their mind has more to do with their own self-confidence rather than what we assume. When a man is told he’s attractive in an intimate setting, it can do wonders for his self-confidence and can either make or break him. While this should just be basic common sense (since we women appreciate a compliment like that too in an intimate setting), it sometimes is overlooked because we women tend to be focused on fretting over our own self-confidence in those scenarios. It’s not always about a person’s body, it’s about their minds and feeding their confidence levels as well.
10Men Like Romance Too, Believe It Or Not
I was never the most “mushy” type of girl in a relationship, especially when I first started dating. I turned my nose up to all those feminine types of women who I assumed were disillusioned by Hollywood romantic comedies who never really articulated REAL romance all too well – most are just one giant cliché. But the older I got, I realized that it wasn’t just women who had these ideals – but men too. Though you wouldn’t assume it too often, but men LOVE romance too. They ALSO enjoy feeling special, and that’s what REAL romance does, believe it or not. It’s done to make your significant other feel appreciated and needed and actually special. Men love that feeling too, you know, so women need to step up to the plate a lot more in this department.
9Challenges Are Key
If you happen to have feelings for an intelligent man, you know this to be true: Men love a challenge. And no, I’m not talking about the type of challenge that the misogynistic Barney from How I Met Your Mother used to perform. Every thinking man enjoys a woman who is constantly challenging his realm of thought. It’s a rush for them and helps keep them on their toes for the most part. Especially when they’re in a serious, long-term relationship. If their girlfriends are constantly finding new ways of challenging her man on an intellectual level, their boyfriends never stop learning new things. If though you think this might get boring, it truly does not, and every thinking woman will say the same exact thing.
8Men Are Intimidated By You, So You May Need To Approach Them When Interested
I never really assumed that this was true until I experienced it myself. I tend to lean more on the introvert side, so when I met an extrovert that I started having feelings for (who I knew had feelings for me as well), I was puzzled by the fact that he didn’t approach me and ask me out on a date. So I, in return, pursued him even though he was clearly the more outgoing partner. I came to find out later that despite all his extroverted tendencies, he was intimidated by me and was wishing that I would make the first move. A lot of men tend to be like this, believe it or not. Yes, men are shy too and can be fragile when it comes to facing rejection because, newsflash, they hate rejection just as bad as we women do.
7Your Support Means Everything To Them
There is nothing better than when your significant other truly, and without question, supports your dreams. While this is true for women, men enjoying hearing your support without being prompted to say something in regards to it. There really is no higher feeling that when the person you’re in a relationship is relentless when it comes to supporting your dreams non-stop and even go out of their way to prove it. Men even notice the little things you do in order to show your support. And when they feel they’re supported in all that they do, they’ll reflect that in their own support towards you. Supporting each other’s dreams also helps keep the romance alive in a long-term relationship as well, and women usually know and understand this. But if you don’t, maybe a relationship isn’t something you should be in.
6They Need Their Personal Space
I’m not one of those types of women who feels the need to invade the space of my partner all the live-long day and I know a lot of women are like myself. Certain men are the same way, even if THEY tend to be the smothering type as well. In order to preserve their own sense of self, a man needs to be in his own personal space without interruption every now and then (same for women!). In the spring of a new relationship, both parties are in the “honeymoon phase” and can’t seem to keep their hands in their OWN space. This is fine, but this also gets old after awhile, which is why the honeymoon phase is just that – a simple, and short-term, phase.
5They Aren’t Interested In You Attempting To Change Them
I know a lot of women who are like this (and I’m even guilty myself sometimes of this very thing): If they fall for someone who is set in their ways, the thought “well, I can change him” crosses their mind at one point in the relationship. Well, guess what – no you can’t. Again, real relationships aren’t anything like the movies – if you start dating a “bad boy” chances are he’ll stay that way. The line “you make me want to be a better man” is just that – a line. If you happen to like someone but don’t exactly like the person they are, you need to run in the other direction or actually find someone you genuinely care for from the start. STOP TRYING TO CHANGE A DUDE YOU LIKE – YOU LIKE THEM FOR A REASON.
4Not All Men Want A Supermodel Figure
Nearly all girls thought this growing up. The models we watched walk the runway were (in our minds) the epitome of what was considered “beautiful” by society’s standards. They were taller than life and weighed probably no more than 130 lbs (which seems very light for such a tall woman). We all assumed the boys gushed over these particular women’s pitch-perfect looks, and while we may have been right back then, those same boys’ tastes evolved over time. They came to prefer real women over those fantasy figments, and that’s because today’s beauty standards have dramatically shifted. ALL body types are considered beautiful, and most men will agree with that statement and prove it time and time again when they’re in a relationship. Sure, you still have those “guys” who prefer actual models, but they’re few and far between.
3Respect Is Key
Like most things on this list, this one, in particular, is a two-way street. Mutual respect is the key to long-lasting relationships (only with a MASSIVE amount of honesty) and men to live and die by this, especially in a long-term relationship. They can absolutely tell when their girlfriend respects them – they can feel it with every fiber of their being. And usually, when they realize that they DON’T, it’s like a bucket of ice cold water has been dumped on them. Everyone woman should know this because she feels the same way when in a relationship – if there’s no respect, what’s the point of even staying in it? A relationship with no respect isn’t worth the time and the effort and it’s best that both mutually agree to part ways.
2GUYS WORRY ABOUT THEIR LOOKS TOO, HELLO
Yes, we women are constantly ridiculed when we fret over our looks. There are entire billion dollar industries dedicated to making us care so much about our own vanity that we feel the need to go out and throw away tons of money in order to make ourselves more “appealing”. I have some news for you: Men constantly worry about their looks too. Of course, you see some of those guys who SHOULD be worried about their looks but couldn’t care less (these are usually the ones who assume that they’re God’s gift to women). It’s the ones who actually go out of their way when it comes to their looks who wear their vanity on their sleeves. Heck, they like to be complimented too for putting in an effort.
1No, They Do Not Want To Go Clothes Shopping With You
I believe this is the first thing they teach you in “How To Date a Straight Dude 101”: MEN. HATE. CLOTHES. SHOPPING. WITH. YOU. You may say to yourself, “but my guy loves helping me pick out clothes when we go to the mall!” yeah, I can almost guarantee that THEY’RE LYING TO GET SOMETHING OUT OF YOU. I have never dated a straight guy who enjoyed sitting around while I tried on clothes unless they were of the intimate kind of clothing. Sure, you’ll say that this generation of men is more feminist-based, and while that is true during this day and age, they still hate answering the question “does this make me look fat?”. It’s something that never ends well. Just take your girlfriends or gay friends – they’ll actually be honest without fearing any retaliation from you when it actually DOES make you look fat.