There have always been horror stories about the perfect couple, perfect marriage, or perfect partnership ending abruptly and with no warning. It’s everyone’s worst nightmare, especially if they’re currently in a relationship. Nothing seems worse than having someone up and leave on you. Oftentimes we hear about men deciding to leave their women. The women are left heartbroken, trying to support three kids or flailing in the depths of a serious depression. But what happens on the other side? What happens to the guys in this scenario? Surely not all of them are monsters. We’ve gone through and compiled 15 of the best stories from men who’ve told us why their relationship ended. Some of them are bad, some of them are sad, and some of them have made us realize that it’s not actually anyone’s fault. Many different factors go into ending a relationship. Read on and see! You never know, you might find your own ex-relationship on this list…
When you get married, oftentimes that means that you’re agreeing to interact with at least a little bit of your spouse’s family. It’s impossible to ignore them forever, unless your spouse has cut them off. For one man, he didn’t suspect anything was wrong until he and his wife decided to buy a house in her family’s town. It was romantic and a dream come true at first; lots of space, a little downstairs apartment, and the best yard on the block. She was so excited about it, but for reasons that apparently they didn’t discuss. While she apparently had mentioned that her mother needed space, he was under the impression that she meant when her mom came to visit. Not a permanent living arrangement. Soon enough Mom was living under their roof, not contributing in any way and not really wanting to.
But wait… If that wasn’t bad enough, there was more to her family than that. Not only did she end up losing her job shortly after her and her hubby moved into this house, she also brought her sister and brother to live there. One they moved in, they also stopped working or contributing in anyway. The wife was already not bringing in any money, which meant that this all-of-a-sudden family of 5 was living on one husband’s income. He was sick and tired of it, but thought “I’ll do it for her”. He says that that was the whole reason they decided to buy the house in the first place… SHE was the one that wanted it! Luckily he came to his senses and found them an apartment across town. He and the wife divorced, and he states that the real reason it didn’t work out was because of selfish assumptions. Hey… At least he got a great house out of it!
13Screen Time Turns to Scream Time
Ever had your Mom get mad at you for texting at the table? Or for having your face in your phone when she’s trying to talk to you? While some people don’t think it’s a bad thing, many of us are old fashioned in the sense that if we’re with someone, we want to be with them. We want a face-to-face interaction, not muddied by the milieu of media. Facebook, instagram, twitter, tumblr, it seems like every site has an all-access app where you can watch people, learn about world events, and scroll through mindless stuff 24/7. One guy talked to us about how he didn’t hate social media before, but certainly hates it after this ex. She spent EVERY date buried in her phone, not paying attention to him and not thinking it was a problem. Shortly after he tried to break up with her in person he sent her a text message; sure enough, that was the means that broke through. Don’t be like this couple! Keep the phones away when you two are face to face.
12Therapeutic Touch? Tough.
Some people like to use their significant others as glorified therapists. They have their anxieties, their fears, their insecurities, and their discontent and they take it all out on their partners. Personally, we hate this. We hate when people decide to take advantage of love, especially when they’re never there to help their partner with their emotional breakdowns. It’s an unfair balance, and one that’s not healthy for either half of the relationship. One guy decided that enough was enough, and after yet another night of her threatening to take her own life, he worked up the nerve to leave. Guess what happened? She finally went and got the help he had been urging her to get, and she finally found the strength she needed to exist independently. In this case, the split was a good one. While they didn’t get back together, they definitely split up for the best.
11Cooler Than You
Okay, maybe it sounds like the title of a fun 2000s hit. But actually, this section is a little disgusting. Ever had someone wish you were someone else? It hurts. Not being able to be what someone wants you to be is really tough, and also really unsettling. Why can’t they just be happy with the way you are? Well, sometimes this goes a step further. They’re not asking you to be who they want you to be, but they’re asking you to be what their friends think you should be. This is never healthy, especially when it comes to the bedroom (something that’s supposed to be private). One guy mentions how he was a bit of a jerk, and realized that this was unhealthy and definitely the cause of the end of the relationship. What exactly was he doing? He thought that if he could convince his girlfriend to try something wild, he’d be able to brag to his friends about having the “coolest girlfriend”. She was not down for either of those things happening, and we don’t blame her.
10Lost a Girl AND a Best Friend
Yes, it is possible to kill two birds with one stone. Unfortunately, that stone is usually the stone of loss. And the two birds are “your girlfriend” and “your best friend”. One man talked about the fact that he was totally happy in his relationship, making plans to graduate college and move in together, live the dream, and start a family. She seemed to be totally on board. At least… Until they went to a party together. He had seen her hanging out with his best friend a couple times, and he thought that it was just great that they were getting along. Until he found them horizontal on an unused bed at a house party. He quickly decided to break up with her before spending the rest of their lives together, and his best friend never talked to him again. Sad, maybe… But isn’t he better off without those two in his life now?
9Love Me or Leave Me
This guy is a bit of a controversy amongst us writers. While some of us feel that he was totally justified, others feel that he was a total jerk and deserves only sadness and pain. What side of the camp do you fall on? Here’s the story: a girl and a guy get together. They’re not “in a relationship” but they’re totally together as far as their family and friends are concerned. What they (and his pseudo-girlfriend) don’t know though is that he’s been messaging girls on Tinder. Meeting for drinks, talking, and overall acting super shady. When she found out about this she confronted him and asked him to stop. His response? “I’m not doing anything wrong. I need more affection than what you’re giving me. Besides, we’re not together. We’re dating.” She believed him, and they spent another few months trying to make it work. Eventually she left him, and he thinks it was unjustified. What do you think?
It’s always hard to put yourself out there, but especially hard when the world rejects it. Your partner should be someone whom you can trust to keep you and your dreams safe; someone who supports you regardless of whether or not you’re talented. If you’re happy, they should be there to say “okay, keep practicing” or “this isn’t a Picasso, but keep painting because the colors are great and the emotion is there”. Constructive criticism and positivity goes a long way in a relationship, which is what this guy thought he had when he started dating this girl. After working on a romance novel for the entire duration of their relationship, he had dedicated it to her and gotten her to read it. Instead of proposing, the couple had a huge argument. According to him, she told him it was bad and no one would ever want to read it. He should give up before he insults the real writers out there. He was crushed, and after a few months realized that he didn’t want to give up writing. He loved it. He did decide to give up her negative attitude, and now he’s happy and trying to find a publisher.
7Just to Play Devil’s Advocate…
Some people think that anyone who says that phrase isn’t a good person. They don’t deserve to have a good discussion in the first place. We, on the other hand, disagree. Devil’s advocate is a fun position, and one that actually gets us excited to talk about things with our partners. If you can’t have a good debate, what’s the point of being with your partner? This guy thinks in a similar way. He realized that he was with the wrong person when he tried to play devil’s advocate in a discussion and his girlfriend started crying. Apparently she didn’t understand the concept. He decided that that had to be the end. He couldn’t be with someone who couldn’t play ball, and we don’t blame him. Sometimes sensitive people just need to be with sensitive people… Even if it means the end of the relationship.
6Selfless and Suffocated
Never do something for another person’s benefit, unless it’s not going to have any sort of negative impact on you. Carry grandma’s groceries, sure, but don’t go and get your long term girlfriend pregnant just because she wants a baby. If you’re not overjoyed at the thought of planning a pregnancy, we think maybe you should avoid it. This guy did not. This guy not only got his girl preggo because she wanted a baby, but also proposed to her AND bought a house for her. Unlike our first story, this one didn’t end in pain and suffering. It did, however, end in a very unhappy dude. After the baby came she realized that she really didn’t love him (supposedly) so she packed up and moved out, and took the kid with her. While he still gets to hang out with his baby every once in a while, the divorce was messy and the emotions were high. Even the ex-wife’s family sided with him, and were reluctant to take her back in. Sad, but true. You never know the danger of loving too much until it happens.
5The Silver Bullet
Or, in this case, the round of bullets. This story comes to us not from a man, but from the woman who loves him. Afghanistan was tough on America’s soldiers, and many people came back with PTSD and physical alterations. One such man was told that there wasn’t anything wrong with him at first. A round of bullets hit his helmet, but because there was no physical damage everyone thought he was just fine. Sure enough when he came back she found that the impact had knocked something inside him. He was violent and disruptive, physically threatening, and had a lot of anger issues. She decided to get him to a doctor and counselling, but the damage had been done. She just couldn’t trust him anymore, as he had turned into a totally different person. Sad, but true.
4Partners or Parents?
Sure enough, one of the biggest things that can alter a relationship is having kids. Sometimes it’s for the best; a child can reinvigorate the partnership, give the parents something to work towards, and actively help them figure things out. Unfortunately, it can also be the downfall of many once good partnerships. In this case, one guy declares that it was indeed due to the kids that the relationship fell apart. They became so focused on being good parents that they forgot they had to be together; they forgot they had to be a couple! Both of them felt dissatisfied and totally ignored, and nothing got better until they went their separate ways. While they stayed “together” for the kids, they ended up being separated for most of the kids’ growing up. Happily divorced now, they wouldn’t have changed a thing… Even if there was problems.
3Gaydar on Point
It’s the classic story; man finds woman, woman finds man, they fall in love but things get awkward. The bedroom stuff is not amazing, and oftentimes it’s only through fantasizing, eyes closed, that they can get off. There’s only so much that can be done at that point. One man found that when he started feeling like this, he wanted to figure out what was wrong. He went to counselling, looked online, even talked to his doctor about his private issues, trying to get something to help him. Eventually he came to the realization that it wasn’t that he didn’t love her, or that there was anything wrong. He realized that he was gay! The relief was amazing, and he and his girlfriend quickly became best friends… Not lovers. While the relationship might not have worked out, we think that this one was totally for the best.
There’s one thing that seems to break couples up more than anything, and no, it’s not cheating. It’s not money, and it’s not the death of a child. It’s being incompatible in the bedroom. The people who get together and think “oh, that’s okay, he/she will change to suit me” are always going to be wrong. Not only can you not change someone, you shouldn’t try. Especially when it comes to stuff that happens between the sheets. Too many people assume that those with high drives will calm down, and those with low drives will buck up. This is not the case. Many people find that their drives are pretty standard throughout their lives, with only a little variation depending on stress levels, life events, health, etc. These issues are totally honest and valid reasons to want more or less intimacy, but when there’s nothing out of the ordinary going on it gets weird…
Take, for example, this couple. While we always hear about men who have an “overactive drive”, we seldom hear about it really being a negative. Men are told to just live with it, and accept the fact that they need a little more lovin’ than women. This isn’t the case with this couple. He got broken up with because she wasn’t satisfied. In hindsight, he admits that it probably would have been a mutual thing if he wasn’t so set on trying to make it better. He just didn’t want as much intimacy as she did. He was content to hang out, sleep, and maybe fool around once in a while. But she wanted more than anything to slip it in and get it on. When she realized that her needs weren’t going to be met, she decided to end it. He was crushed at first, but knows that it was for the best. He’s happier now too not feeling inadequate and pressured. Heed his warning though: incompatible drives are hard to reconcile.