We have grown accustomed to reading articles on how men should treat us better. Now, you are being presented with how women should treat men better. That’s right ladies, even we are not saints in relationships.
Some women watch these ridiculous romantic comedy films and expect our lives to be played out in the same manner. Sorry to burst this bubble, but that is not how the real-life plot typically works. Guys don’t always express their true feelings in the most traditional romantic sense. They do show their love and appreciation at moments when we are not paying attention. Make sure to never take these moments for granted otherwise you will miss out on a fulfilling relationship. Just remember that men are wired differently than we are and therefore, have different sets of expectations.
Men can get just as frustrated as women when it comes to their dating lives. Their common complaints are being taken for granted or not being appreciated for the times when they go out of their way to please us. We are so bombarded by movies and reality TV shows like The Bachelorette that give us a delusional view on how men are supposed to treat us. Some women get the complex that they are to be treated like royalty without reciprocating that effort. Here are the top unrealistic things that women expect men to do in relationships.
15To Commit Right Off The Bat
If you start dating a guy and expect him to propose by the end of three months into the relationship, then you have been watching one too many episodes of The Bachelor. Or The Bachelorette. Or whatever stupid reality TV show that entails someone proposing after the season is over. Did you ever stop and that that these relationships that we see on TV are not real? These shows have high ratings and make a fortune because they capitalize on the ideas of women have of romance. These are ideas that are founded in fantasy, and rarely in reality.
A guy needs to get to know you for a long period of time first before he decides that is he is going to spend the rest of his life with you. Relationships that build gradually over time are usually the ones with the best longevity. Typically, the bitter divorces happen when people get married too soon before they even know what they are signing up for. Don’t let your romantic emotions cloud your judgement.
14To Have The Ability To Read Your Mind
Not being direct with what is bothering you causes a huge miscommunication that can prove damaging in relationships. This is a form of disengagement when you withdraw from a conflict but then secretly build resentment and just hoping that it will blow over. The truth of the matter is that he will probably repeat the same type of behavior that pisses you off and the cycle of you becoming upset will keep happening all over again.
Passive immobility is when you expect your partner to read your mind and makes it impossible for couples to resolve conflict. Sometimes people just need to be reminded when they are acting like jerks. Of course, he owes you the same courtesy when you start acting out in ways that he does not like.
13To Fight For Us No Matter What
Your boyfriend needs to stand up for you if people are insulting you or saying something horribly offensive. However, if you are the one that is doing the insulting or something offensive, then he isn’t obligated to support that kind of behavior. He needs to support you but he doesn’t have to agree with you if you are acting irrational, especially when it is out in public. Depending on how skilled he is at saving face, he might wait until you two are alone to explain how your behavior may have been inappropriate. Remember that if he isn’t taking your side on something, there is typically a reason.
We have seen that scene where Jon Cusack plays that song for the woman he is trying to woo outside of her room or that time when Matt Damon chased Mimi Rodgers to California in Good Will Hunting. Typically, events like that never occur. Guys might try their hardest to make the relationship work, but they are not going to go to extreme lengths.
12To Know The Right Thing To Say In Every Situation
If you are one of those girls that watches rom-com movies on the reg, than there needs to be some awareness that movies do not reflect real life. We have become familiarized with the scenes in movies where the male lead knows exactly what to say to the girl so that she falls in love with him. They both smitten with one another and then they both live happily ever after. In reality, the opposite usually happens. More likely than not, the guy in our lives are more likely to say the exact opposite of what they want to hear. Set your expectations based on getting to know your guy on a personal level rather than comparing him to fictional characters that you see in movies or on TV.
11To Never Look At Other Women
Sorry, ladies but men are biologically programmed to be visual creatures. This means that no matter how hot we are, our boyfriends are always going to look at other women whether we like it or not. Though our dudes owe it to us to at least show some discretion and not start panting like a dog in heat every time a hottie walks by, there is no need to be alarmed by this. Even if you are in a long-term relationship and he would never dream of being with anyone else, he is still going to notice female beauty that inhabits the same room as he does. When men see a physically attractive woman, a chemical reaction happens in their brain where the neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin are released and give him an involuntary surge of pleasure. A part of him is going to wonder what it would be like to be with her. It is one thing to think about it, but acting on it is obviously cheating. If it is any consolation, this was the same reaction he probably had when he saw you for the first time.
10For Plans To Work Out Exactly As You’d Expected Them To
Sometimes life just doesn’t go the way that you planned and things don’t pan out the way that you thought they would. If your first reaction is to throw a tantrum because something did not go your way, you can’t expect him to be able to fix it every single time. This is especially true if he was also hoping for something and that didn’t happen. Guys observe more than we think when it comes to watching our behavior. When they spend enough time around us to witness us in a variety of moods, one of their tests is to see how we react when faced with adversity.
9Women Putting Forth No Effort On Their End & Having A Healthy Relationship
We all have our standards in what we are looking for when it comes to who we want to date. A good majority of women have a checklist of characteristics that they want to fulfill when it comes to picking a guy. That list is usually much longer than than most guy’s checklist. This is because women are complicated like that.
Ask yourself this: what do you bring to the table? What characteristics on his checklist do you meet? If you want to make the relationship work, you have to be able to fulfill the things that he is looking for in a partner as well. Remember that balance is the key to make sure that both parties are getting what they are looking for.
8To Be Ambitious And Attentive At The Same Time
There is nothing sexier than ambition in men. Guys who know what they want and are not afraid to go after it. This also means that they are going to have many other obligations that they have to tend to. This means that they will need to spend a significant amount of time away from you. If you are one of those women who hope to marry a guy who can provide (granted you have chased after your dreams as well), then than you will have to come to terms with this fact.
It is okay to be the breadwinner as well and have a husband who is willing to stay at home. He will be more available and attentive to your other needs because he has more time than a career man.
7To Be Well Endowed
Just like not all of us can have DD’s, not all guys can be hung like a horse. That is just the reality that we all have to deal with. This is a particular sensitive subject if he ever mentions his size or if you bring up his size. In fact, it is just best practice to avoid that discussion altogether to spare both parties a horribly awkward conversation. Just remember that we all would prefer for guys to all be blessed down there, but that is not always in the cards.
Be aware the average length is about 5 inches. Given that most fall into that range, that size matters to some extent, it doesn’t always mean that it is directly related to how much pleasure you receive in the bedroom. Also be aware that some guys are growers, not showers.
6To Be Romantic All The Time
When it comes to romance, some guys just flat out don’t get it. The girly, mushy stuff when you buy someone that is going to wither away in a few days just doesn’t seem like a practical idea for some men. Just because he is not rescuing you at the last minute and opening professing his love to the public doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you or care about you. Remember that when a guy does work up the courage to do or say something romantic for you, he is running the risk of making a total fool of himself if you are not impressed or satisfied. Guys like to keep their pride intact and only do those romantic gestures for women who they know are going to respond well to it. Plus, those moments require a special occasion or maybe even something you did on your part to earn it.
If you are not treating your guy the way he wants to be treated, you can rest assured that the romance will come to a screeching halt.
5To Hire A Nanny/House-Maid To Do All The Chores
At a certain age, everyone should maintain a level of cleanliness in their own living environment. Expecting him to always have the dishwasher unloaded and not one speck of dirt on the ground is just unrealistic. Usually when people get busy, that means not everything sparkles and looks spic and span. It is one thing if a guy is a complete slob and just doesn’t keep his apartment sanitary. However, if there just a few things laying around here and there or if there is a little clutter, it is best just to look past it.
Step back and think of your own cleaning habits. If you expect your dude to maintain cleanliness, then you should do the same. Or hire a maid. Either way, it is just better to establish who does what when it comes to chores. That way, it just makes everyone life easier.
4To Make More Money Than Her
There are some guys that are willing to be completely transparent about how much they make right off the bat. If they admit their salary early in the relationship, take that as him trying to set a certain level of expectations with you. Though we all will admit that we are happy for our boyfriends when they come home and say that they have got a promotion, you can’t expect him to become rich overnight.
If you are really that curious, then do some research about what he does in his field and what is the average salary of his position in the given area of the country. Information like this is not hard to find on Google. Once you find out the average range of salary, then that should set were his budget probably is. Though its good to want to date a guy who makes a steady income, being greedy when it comes to the way he spends his money is not your place.
3To Have A 6-Pack And Chiseled Arms
Working out and staying in shape requires time, dedication and discipline. Sometimes, our busy lifestyles simply don’t allow us to stay on top of the healthiest diet and the most rigorous exercise regimen. Cut him some slack if he has been traveling a lot for work or is taking night classes and doesn’t have that chiseled body that we are used to seeing from Ryan Gosling and Matthew McConaughey. In the same way that it is unfair for men to want a girl who is a size 0 with double D cups, we just can’t expect guys to have perfect bodies. If we are to get resentful the objectification of women that bombards our mass media, then we need to show the same level of body acceptance to men. Unless he never gets off the couch and mainlines McDonalds every day, it is better to keep your opinions about his love handles or gut to yourself.
2Expecting Him To Spend Every Waking Moment With You
One of the key characteristics of a healthy relationship is the fact that you and him are not afraid to spend some alone time without each other. Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean that you spend every waking moment together 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. In fact, clinginess can get annoying to the point where you just want to rid yourself of that person altogether. Everyone has different needs for space and alone time, and its a common problem when you are with someone who has a different set of expectations than you do.
Many people mistakenly believe that hearing “I need some space” translates to “I’m working up the guts to dump you.” In reality, that could be further from the truth. Space in a relationship is healthy and it makes you miss that other person enough to want to see them again. Once you do see them again, you appreciate it more.
1To Pay For Everything
Everyone has so many different rules when it comes to who pays for what on dates. First things first, it is customary for the guy to pay on the FIRST date. However, it is even more customary for the woman to offer to pay on the first date. After that, it is fair game. Men are not ATM machines and they have bills to pay just like we do. There is no bigger turn off for a guy than a girl who sees him as her meal ticket. He will feel like he is being used and unappreciated. If it gets too expensive to be going out to eat, then cook at home. If he is the one inviting you out to dinner and is generous enough to pay for the meal, then at least start making his favorite dishes at home. It will be romantic and the social pressure of being out in public will be off. There will be no awkward moment of waiting for the check to come and do that fake fumble to your purse in order to retrieve cash.