Everyone always seems to be a relationship expert when it comes to you and your guy, even though you can clearly see that their love life is completely out of whack. Sometimes it is best to politely nod and then immediately throw away all of the advice someone overloaded you with. This is especially true for those advice givers who have never even had a stable relationship in their entire life. How can they give you advice when they can’t even keep a man around for longer than one night? Just because they are willing to talk your ear off and they claim that they know what is best for your life doesn’t mean they have a clue! From now on when your friends and complete strangers with no boundaries, offer you their take on your love life, keep in mind these 15 pieces of relationship advice you should ignore!
15Always Say I Love You
Once your relationship has reached the level of exchanging I love you’s at the end of each phone call or before bed at night, the pressure will be on to always meet your partner’s pleasantries with your own. After all, nobody wants to be left hanging when they tell their partner how much they mean to them. Usually it becomes natural to say “I love you too” after being told by your partner that they love you but keep in mind that once your expressions go into autopilot they may lose the weight or impact that they once carried. Just because you are in fact in love doesn’t mean you have to say it in every normal situation, it will tend to become like sneezing where “Bless you” is a mandatory response that is expected to be heard after one sneezes. Avoid blurting it out just because and let your partner know that you love them with a passion that is not so easy to come by and tell them when you feel the need to, not when expected.
14If Your Parents Don’t Approve It Will Never Work
A lot of girls bring home their boyfriend to mom and dad hoping to get their seal of approval so that they know they are making the right decision by being in a relationship with their partner. Unless your parents are in the perfect relationship and you owe it all to their impressive skills to navigate through the unavoidable pitfalls that come with spending the rest of your life joined as man and wife, they may not be the best judge of character. As a parent you are always seeing the negative in anyone that wants to take your child away and there may not be anyone that ever measures up to the pedestal they put their baby on. It’s only natural to want everyone to love your guy as much as you do but it is impractical to think they actually will and your parents may have good advice for you to consider but that doesn’t mean they should be the deciding factor on who you should spend the rest of your life with.
13Your Girlfriends Have to Like Him
Although you spend most of your time with your friends, if your relationship is going anywhere in the future your friends’ opinions should not carry too much weight. When you get married and have children your friends can be a part of your life but they will not be as big of a part as they were pre-relationship. When getting advice from your girlfriends keep their track record in mind. If they never seem to be happy with their boyfriends and can’t seem to make any relationships work then they probably aren’t the best judge of what is going to work for you. Their opinions may be skewed by the fact that this new relationship may leave little time for them and in some cases could also be fueled by jealousy. Misery loves company and if they think you are going to live a happy life without them they may be tempted to stop your relationship before it gets to that point.
12Always Finish Fights Before Going to Bed
It would be great if the perfect relationship didn’t have any fights but in reality even the healthiest relationships will have problems or disagreements once in awhile. The healthier relationships that are going to last have fights or disagreements as well but it is all about how you handle them that makes the difference between a good relationship or a bad one. Sometimes fights can get intense and be very time consuming which leads to the advice most people hear from friends about their relationship: Always finish fights before going to bed. Sometimes this is impractical and instead of giving in just to wrap up the fight let your partner know that you love them and you will talk more about the problem in the morning. Brushing off your problems will only lead to future arguments that may be even harder to hash out because your partner thinks you already solved that issue in the past.
11Monogamy is Not Natural, Every Man Cheats
There are more studies now than ever before claiming that men are not meant to be monogamous and that women are putting too high of an expectation on their men by expecting them to be faithful. This is absurd. There have been more successful relationships that are made up of just 2 partners that are faithful to each other than there are relationships that made it work with bringing in other people or open relationships. Not to say that an open relationship could not work but if you are interested in having an open relationship this is a subject you need to speak with your partner about and not go into lightly. If you are wanting a monogamous relationship with your partner and expect them to be faithful, do not take the “monogamy is not natural” excuse and stand up for what you truly feel is right for your relationship.
10Don’t Get Married Too Young
This piece of advice is usually geared towards immature people who may not even know what they want out of life yet. At the young age of 18 if you haven’t ventured out of your parents’ house very much and don’t know what you want out of life then you may want to think twice about getting married so young. If you have decided that marriage is something that you want early on then no matter who tells you not to get married too young, you should not let this affect your decision. Some people are more mature than others and even people who wait until they are well seasoned in life to get married can end up marrying the wrong person. Age shouldn’t be a factor when you know what you want but it can be an easy target for those onlookers who always have to give you their opinion.
9Sign A Prenup
This has always been a touchy subject because when you are planning on getting married, according to the traditional vows, you are promising to spend the rest of your life with this person which usually means a prenup is meaningless. If you are to trust and love someone for the rest of their life then you don’t need to waste any time deciding who gets what when this relationship fails. Sometimes the talk of a prenup alone can cause a riff in the relationship as it paints a picture that you don’t trust your partner or want to spend the rest of your life with them. It makes sense to know your partner enough before marriage so that you don’t have to worry about what they would do in the unfortunate case that the marriage ended. Hopefully you will join someone for life that would never think about what they would have to gain by divorcing you.
8Once a Cheater Always a Cheater
This is a famous saying that most women like to use when referring to a man that has a bit of a sketchy history. Everyone makes mistakes and nobody is exempt from acting in a way that may come back to haunt them later. Just because your partner has cheated in a previous relationship doesn’t mean that he will in fact do the same thing to you. Sometimes we just need to find that one person that makes us want to work at our relationships and keep us from ever imagining ourselves with someone else. Even cheaters deserve redemption because everyone has a past. Although, if he has a history of being a serial cheater you may want to give him a heads up in the beginning of the relationship that you will not put up with that behavior and you will need him to earn your trust due to his past.
7Take Separate Vacations
A lot of couples think it’s a good idea to take separate vacations in order to keep their relationships strong. Since most of the year they see their partner on a daily basis they think time apart will help them grow stronger as a couple. This can backfire and may be the end of your relationship. Taking separate vacations can be enough of a reminder that the two of you aren’t spending enough time together, you may not have much in common, and you aren’t capable of having fun together. Spend your fun time together not apart, you need to build on your relationship and make memories together. Plan trips together where you can both find a little me time if you find that necessary but try to head out on romantic getaways whenever you get a chance rather than escaping your relationship on separate vacations that will only encourage you to grow apart.
6Always Put Your Own Needs First
A healthy relationship is based on the foundation that you are in it together so thinking about yourself first before your partner is not the way to bring you closer together. That does not mean that you are without the right to find your own happiness within the relationship but if you put your partner’s needs first and they put yours first there should be nothing that you are lacking. When making decisions that affect both of you in your relationship try to keep your partner’s wants and needs in mind. Don’t make decisions based on selfish reasons because this will only show your partner that you are in it for yourself and this may not be headed anywhere. If they have truly committed themselves to this relationship then your happiness should be taken care of as well. Your partner should be keeping you in mind when making decisions and all decisions should be equally pleasing to the both of you, which will get easier as you grow closer in your relationship.
5A Good Relationship Shouldn’t Be Hard Work
Even the healthiest most happiest relationships that will stand the test of time have to put work in to see success. When two people are spending a lot of time together they are bound to disagree on certain subjects as well as get on each other’s nerves from time to time. Working on your relationship will keep these speed bumps from ruining the work you have already put in and will help you create a healthy, happy relationship. When you are looking at the same person everyday and dealing with each other’s downfalls constantly there has to be effort put in to move past the problems or downfalls that will come your way. A little effort can go a long way in a healthy relationship and you should be paid back for the work you put in with a wonderful relationship that gets easier to maintain over time.
4You Have to Like His Friends
Much like within your own circle of friends, your guy will no doubt have friends that are set out to ruin any relationship that they think is a threat to their bromance. When their buddy starts spending less time with them and doesn’t want to be the wing man at the club anymore his friends are likely to take notice. His friends will no doubt blame you and possibly even label you as the Yoko to their squad. If your relationship is headed for marital bliss and a happily ever after then your guy won’t even think twice about the negative spin his friends put on your relationship and you shouldn’t either. You don’t have to like his friends for your relationship to work but you will need to be respectful of the time your guy wants to spend with them. Be sure to reciprocate the right to hang with friends because if you want to have a girls night out, you will expect him to understand.
3Have Separate Bank Accounts
When living together and sharing bills as well as income for all of the fun things you do together it is much easier and makes more financial sense to share bank accounts. You will no doubt hear from many of your friends that you should have your own account in case things head south. The best way to prevent future problems with a joint bank account is to set it up together in a way that will only allow a large withdrawal or closing of the account when both parties are present to sign the funds out of your account. If your man is not financially responsible you can take control of the account to pay bills and sort out other expenses to be sure not to overdraw your account, but if you are spending the money together as well as sharing all of your income, it only makes things easier to combine your accounts.
2Everyone Loses Interest After A Long Relationship
After being in a relationship for a really long time or planning on getting married you may hear people claim that everyone loses interest after a long relationship. This couldn’t be farther from the truth because time together building a solid relationship should only make you more attracted to each other not the opposite. The people who claim that this has happened to them were not meant to be together and their relationship was based on all of the wrong foundations. Aging will no doubt take away from your outer appearance and things may not be pointing in the same direction that they used to but the connection you have made with your partner over the years greatly outweighs the changes in your appearance over time. If you are in a healthy relationship with someone you truly love, you will desire their affection and be more attracted to them by the day. Time will only make this attraction stronger and bring you closer together.
1You Have to Work On Your Appearance Constantly to Please Him
A lot of women feel the pressure to stay beautiful all of the time even to the extent of wearing makeup to bed and waking up before their partner to apply their beauty products. It’s perfectly fine to want to look your best but if you are having to set an alarm to get out of bed so your man doesn’t catch a glimpse of your skin in its natural state, you are missing out on an intimate connection. Seeing each other grow old and noticing each other’s changes in appearance should be a reminder of how long you have been together. Hiding what will happen to us all over time is no way to live your life, it almost seems dishonest. Let your man see you and all of your natural beauty, how can he love you for you if he has never actually seen your face without a layer of concealer?