Being in a new relationship is basically the greatest thing in the whole entire world. You were so worried about your single life, wondering if your life was just going to be a string of bad dates (ugh, the bad dates!) and if you were always going to be envious of your happily coupled-up friends. But no more. Now you’ve found love (or at least what you think has the potential to be love) and you couldn’t be happier. You’re walking on sunshine, floating on air — whatever cliche you want to use, you feel it. But there are some things that you should probably consider… like all the broken promises that are following you everywhere. Things you swore would never happen that now are. Oops. What’s a girl to do? Everyone does this, which might be comforting or might make you feel even worse. Here are 15 promises that every girl breaks when she gets into a new relationship.
15Not Nagging Your Boyfriend All The Time
You hate women who nag their boyfriends. You really, really loathe them. Don’t these women realize how lucky they are to have someone special in their life? You didn’t mean to become this kind of girlfriend, you really didn’t, but you are somehow nagging him all the time. It’s not even about important stuff. You’re just reminding him what your favorite pizza toppings are even though he already knows, you’re telling him the exact same information a million times which is sure to drive him up a wall, and you’re generally being pretty clingy and annoying. You honestly can’t even recognize yourself, but you don’t know to stop nagging, either, since all your coupled up friends do the exact same thing. Eventually, your BF is going to tell you that he just can’t take it anymore, so you probably want to chill out, calm down and let him be. You wouldn’t want him to nag you, would you?
14Not Missing The Single Life
Your coupled-up, engaged and married friends would always tell you that they were super envious of their single friends, and you never understand why. How could you possibly miss the single life when you were happy and in love? Isn’t love what everyone wants (especially when you’re single and going on the worst dates ever)? But here you are, in a relationship… and yeah, you have to admit, sometimes you do miss being single. You were super free, could do whatever you wanted, and didn’t have to deal with crazy mood swings. Seriously, being in a new relationship is no piece of cake. One minute you’re super excited, the next you’re convinced you’re going to break up and lose this guy forever. Not fun. Not even anything resembling fun. Unfortunately, this is a slippery slope because you can’t really mention that you miss being single to your friends or (oops) your boyfriend because that’s just not going to end very well.
13Seeing Your Friends 24/7
You didn’t mean to stop hanging out with your best friends. You really, really didn’t. You promised them you wouldn’t ditch them for a guy because you’ve been through that before and you absolutely hate when girls do that to you. Who do they think they are? Do they really think that a guy is more important than the friends that have been there for you for ages and are there no matter what happens, good and bad? But, oops, that’s exactly what you seem to be doing. It’s just that you’re so happy and so into hanging out with your new boyfriend that you don’t have a ton of time for your oldest and dearest. That sucks, and you suck, basically, but right now you can’t help it. You only want to hang out with your BF and you hope your friends understand because that’s just how it goes when you’re newly in love.
12Taking Time For Yourself
So, before you found love, you were somewhat happy and carefree. You were single and kind of loving it, kind of hating it, but it was your situation and you couldn’t do much to change it beyond what you were already doing (aka the dreaded online dating websites and apps). You promised yourself you would never let a guy take up tons of space in your schedule. You swore you would make time for yourself, so you wouldn’t lose the things that you love. But unfortunately, you’re spending all your time with your guy and aren’t taking time for just you at all. Goodbye Grey’s Anatomy, hello football (and hockey, and basketball — guys sure watch a ton of sports). You miss the things you used to do, but you somehow can’t stop wanting to be with him all the time. Pretty crazy how this ends up happening, right? Well, it’s pretty common, so it’s probably not all that crazy after all.
11Not Losing Your Sense Of Self
Well, it’s definitely too late for this, because you don’t even use “I” or “me” anymore. No matter what the topic of conversation or who you’re talking to, it’s always “we, we, we.” You promised yourself you would always completely and totally be yourself, even when you fell in love for real and entered a super serious, mature and committed relationship. You still wanted to feel like your own person. But you’ve definitely broken that promise to yourself. You don’t exactly act or think the same way that you did before. You don’t have a sense of self anymore because it’s all about the two of you as a couple. Sure, that’s fun and all, and that’s what you dream of when you’re super single and wishing finding love wasn’t so time-consuming and just plain hard. But unfortunately, it’s not great to completely lose who you are and get totally lost in your relationship, because who knows what could happen?
10Not Bringing Him Up In Every Convo
Oops, again. You told your friends and yourself that you wouldn’t be that girlfriend who had to bring her boyfriend up in every single conversation. You absolutely hated those kinds of girls because who thinks that their BF is always relevant and that people give a crap about hearing about him all the time? But you’re so in love and think he’s just the greatest person in the universe, so you can’t help but talk about him all the time. Your friends and fam have obviously met him at this point if it’s a real relationship, but while they know that he’s great and probably completely agree that he’s really the man of your dreams, that doesn’t mean that they want to hear about him all the time. Sorry, but it just doesn’t. No one is going to feel quite the same way about your boyfriend as you do, and that’s just a harsh fact that you’re going to have to accept.
9Not Taking Him Everywhere
You used to hate when girls couldn’t attend a friend’s birthday bash or any kind of party or event without having their boyfriend tag along. You thought they were super lame and kind of pathetic. Couldn’t they do something on their own for once? What was the big deal? Well, look at you now. You’re now the girl who brings her boyfriend everywhere she goes. You broke your own promise so quickly you didn’t even realize it was happening. Now you bring your boyfriend as a plus-one to literally anything that you’re invited to. Okay, so maybe you think, what’s the big deal? You love him, it’s all great, no problem. Well, you even tried to bring him to girls’ night out once. Yes, we know that you did. Your BFFs quickly (and rightfully so) freaked out so he stayed home. Come on, you’re better than that. You know that’s just plain weird.
8Not Being His Wife/Mom/Maid
Back in your single girl days, it was seriously weird to you when a friend who do her boyfriend’s laundry, clean his messy (and pretty gross, let’s be real) apartment and cook for him all the time. These are all things that a wife, mom or maid does, and you could never believe it when people told you they did these things for their man, no big deal, no questions asked. Well, now you’re so in love and you want to help, so you’ve broken that promise you made to yourself. Now you’re super domesticated. You are so happy with your new guy that you don’t even mind cleaning up after him. You really want to take care of him and that honestly brings you more happiness than you have ever experienced before. Who knew you would become that person? Certainly not you. Well, now you know.
7Only Seeing Your BF Sometimes
You were so independent before that you couldn’t imagine you would want to be with someone all the time. Like all the time, from morning until noon until midnight. You saw friends who saw their boyfriends all the time – sometimes even meeting him for lunch during the long crazy work day, and even meeting him at his subway stop or apartment when he finished work. Oy. You thought that was really strange, because doesn’t absence make the heart grow fonder? Isn’t that the way that super classic, popular saying is supposed to go? But now you’re here in this shiny and exciting new relationship, and goodbye alone time, hello can’t-stay-away-from-each-other. You can’t believe you were so naive as to think you wouldn’t want to be with him all the time. What were you even thinking?! Now, you can’t not see this guy any chance you can possibly get, and you have totally and completely rearranged your schedule so this can happen.
6Not Making A Big Deal Of Stuff
You never understood why people thought it was okay to sweat the small stuff in a relationship, whether long-term or just a few short months. You thought it only made sense to talk about important things like relationship milestones or whether or not you and your BF were on the same page. It seemed kind of cruel, to be honest, to always freak out whenever you were talking to the person you supposedly were in love with. How would that really help your relationship? But now you’ve broken that promise, too, and you keep bugging your boyfriend to change his status on Facebook, to see your parents more often, to make an effort with your little brother. You don’t want to be this person and yet it’s happening and you just can’t stop it. You just love him so much that you think the small stuff is definitely worth getting worked up over, so next time someone tells you to calm down (whether your BF or BFF), you’re just going to laugh and say, hey, love makes you crazy.
5Not Expecting Flowers And Cards
So, of course, it’s a pretty common practice in relationships both short-term and long-term for the guy to give the girl flowers and cards on anniversaries, birthdays and special occasions. When you saw your friends being totally showered with gifts on those types of days, you thought it was a little weird. It was just so commercial, right? You didn’t think that material things meant love, or even a good, healthy relationship. You thought that when you finally had a new boyfriend, you would be able to handle not getting those showy gifts. You thought it was super naïve, innocent and even kind of crazy to want that stuff. But here you are, and you really want that stuff. You really, really do. It’s not that you need it. You’re not like that. It’s just that you understand the appeal now. It’s nice to feel like you’re part of something – that yeah, you’re just another happy girlfriend out there, getting yellow roses on her six-month anniversary.
4Not Fighting In Public
You never wanted to be the sort of girlfriend who was okay with fighting with her boyfriend in public – not only that, but super loudly. It seemed so gross and super embarrassing. You couldn’t stand watching couples argue in restaurants, on the subway, on the street, at the movies, etc. How could people be so comfortable airing their dirty laundry in public?! You promised yourself you would never, ever fight in public. Well, that is long gone because now you find you and your boyfriend getting into really stupid and silly arguments on the subway, at the grocery store, at the movies, when out to dinner with friends — wherever. You hate that this happens but sometimes he just annoys you so much. Who said love was easy? Oh that’s right, absolutely no one. Love is difficult, and while you’re definitely in that honeymoon period for the first little while, things definitely get a bit harder the longer you date someone. So yeah, fights happen.
3Keeping Your Word
You swore you would still be the best employee, friend, sister, daughter, etc. that you could possibly be. You promised you wouldn’t go back on your word, no matter what was happening in your love life. But you find yourself breaking promises left, right and center. You didn’t take your sister shopping for a new outfit to wear for her new job. You didn’t call your mom to check in because you heard she was feeling a bit down. You’re basically an all-around crappy person and remembering that fact makes you feel even worse. It’s crazy what love does to people, right? You aren’t proud of the person that you’re becoming, and you keep promising yourself that you have to try harder to contact the people in your life on a more regular basis. They thankfully haven’t said anything, because of course they’re happy for you and support your new relationship, but you want to get back on track before they do get upset.
2Not Pressuring Your BF
You didn’t want to bug him all the time about making a real commitment to you. You figured, hey, if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. After all, when you meet someone new and totally click with them, isn’t it pretty obvious to both of you that it’s going to workout? Don’t you both want the exact same thing? Yeah, you’re super aware that this is maybe not the healthiest or most realistic thing, but that’s just the way that you think. But when you’re truly in love, and it’s the beginning of a new relationship, it’s really hard to not want a 100 percent guarantee that things will work out. You might even start pressuring him into moving in with you and even thinking about marriage. It’s not that you want to walk down the aisle tomorrow, but you do want more of a commitment. Ugh, why are you this person?!
1Remembering That Love Doesn’t Always Last
When you’re on your own, it’s really easy to remember that love can fade and turn to hate faster than you realize. You’ve had break ups, of course, and you know how you feel about your ex-boyfriends. You may have adored them before, but now you can’t stand them. So before you met your new BF, you swore you would remember that love doesn’t always last forever (or even half of forever) and that you should always keep things in perspective. You shouldn’t get mad and annoyed so often, you should appreciate the little things, you should have more fun and overall just enjoy the experience. But of course, you break that promise as soon as you have your second date. Now you’re in love, for better or worse. You swear this is the man you’re going to marry, have kids with, and spend the rest of your days with. You can’t even imagine that not happening, and you’re going to try your hardest for this to actually become a reality.