As much as society sells men as either this single, rough and rugged or calm and sophisticated bachelor-type guy, the secret is out –many men actually enjoy the joys of being in a relationship. And their reasons are not that much different than our own, ladies. Men have needs, too, and they are just as complex and all over the board as our own needs. Relationships are not the ball and chain concept of the 1950s and they are not the player days of the 1990s. Relationships can be healthy spaces where people grow together and build a life separate from the rest of the world. Men are often told that they don’t like relationships, hence the notorious running around and Don Juan types sowing their wild oats still late into their 50s or 60s. But some men get the bonding benefits and decide that settling down is for them. They are not ashamed by it, but they might not admit it. They don’t want to lose that macho facade. So, here are some reasons why men love relationships, if you can’t get your man to be so candid with you.
15They Build His Self-esteem
Relationships of many varieties build self-esteem. It is you adoring your partner or your partner adoring you. There’s a whole lot of adoration taking place. Men, despite their brawny or not so brawny exteriors, do not always have the highest self-esteem. Think about one of the prettiest girls you know and how she has a tendency to be like, I’m not pretty, I’m fat and ugly, you know that low self-esteem crap that’s been spoon-fed to us by our tried and true consumerist and always critical social order. Crap like that also happens to men all around the world. Being in a relationship where adoration should be reciprocated means that his self-esteem will skyrocket and a real bonding happens. Beware the guy who’s looking to build his self-esteem with you and bounce. He’s tricky and he’s looking to use you for his own gains because at some point his self-esteem was chopped to bits.
14He Likes Having Company
Who likes to eat in public alone? Who likes to hit up the theater or go see a film alone? Who likes to idly sit in a park and feed the pigeons and rats? Well, some of you do. There’s no doubt about that. And even when we’re in a relationship we will need space to do things alone, not single-town stuff, but like to breathe. But the majority of our adult life, we enjoy company hence our amazing human ability of building and keeping social endeavors. We are social even if we are introverts. Science tells us, so it must be true. The point is that doing stuff with another person is nice because we can share a moment in time and then discuss that moment in time and then later reflect on that moment in time. Not only girls like that stuff, but guys do, too. They have some of the same needs and desires that we have, they might not be identical, but despite what gender studies tell us, we are very similar should we come from a similar socio-economic and cultural background. Even should we not, we are still one and the same in many ways.
13He Enjoys Conversation
As pointed out nicely in the previous paragraph, we are social creatures. We enjoy gathering and if we are not gathering we look for gatherings and if we see people gathering we gravitate towards them and if we’re not gathering we’re thinking about the next time we can gather. And it’s not just about proximity, most of us enjoy conversing with others. We like to learn about people, what they do, what they’re into, where they’re from –you know the basic building blocks of any human being. Men like to talk, they like to talk about themselves and what they do and where they’re from. Not because they are men and like to dominate the conversation, although there are still some of those floating around out there, but because that’s what all human beings like to do. We like talking about ourselves. And if that’s not the main point, we just like talking. Men are no different. Although with some, it takes longer to get them to open up, but once they do –be warned of the floodgates opening.
12He Wants To See You in Your Underwear
This is two-fold. Men like to lounge, they like to be comfy and they like, at least in my experience, to wear as little clothing as possible when they are in their nest or in any space where they feel that they can build a nest. They really enjoy the unspoken, no-pants rule of the house. As soon as they hit the door, they are already unbuttoning or unzipping and preparing for the full removal of their pants, aka the bane of their human existence. It really does feel like men have an aversion to pants. But just as much as men enjoy relaxing in their non-pants state, they doubly enjoy this activity if we, too, are sans pants. Being in a relationship means that they can see their girlfriend, a real live female –not some cyber thingy, in panties everyday should they live with their girlfriend. They get to see lacy numbers, silky stuff, thongs, even full-coverage bloomers. All of the variety is stimulating and allows them to peek into the world of women a little bit further. The real truth, it allows them to see a little bit more flesh and since their visual nature says, they’ve liked that kind of stuff.
11He Enjoys Snuggling
Do not get it twisted, ladies. Snuggling is not a gendered activity, meaning women are not the only ones who receive pleasure from it. Snuggling is enticing because it increases bonding between couples, keeps couples warm in the winter, and it’s the best way to sleep –all tangled up. We snuggle on the couch or in bed, but men really like certain positions in which they feel like the big spoon or where they can feel some sort of protection mode oozing through their pores. Men like to snuggle because they know their women like it and if he’s a good guy, he likes to give his woman what she wants and deserves. This is also a way that men can rub up on our delectable bodies because, as we all know, the body of any woman is divine and a thing to be worshiped.
10He wants the Inside scoop
Our world is interesting, there’s no doubt about it. We have secrets and unique ways of doing things, we have our beauty routines, our morning routines, our night routines, our workout routines, and our spiritual and self-care routines. We have methods to our madness and there is magic in our method, too. Men, through being in a relationship, can learn more about how we, in all our glory and mysteriousness, function. We are mythical beings to most men and for those who have figured it out, they get it, like really get it and respect it. For those who are still wondering and scratching their heads, being in close proximity to us allows them to peek behind the door, even to crack the door open a bit further to see what treasures lie there. We are intriguing and beguiling and being with us is like getting the inside track to any number of things.
9He gets to Learn new stuff
While men are notorious for being know-it-alls, they know that deep down it’s just a façade that has been pushed upon them from birth because they are men. Men, most men – well, white men actually – are given a privileged position in society. They think they know so much because society tells them they do. Other men follow suit because of cultural norms and because of society and capitalism and government. To cut a long story short, men are given the false identity of being omnipotent. But they know, as we know, that is totally bogus. With us, they put down their guard and reveal that they don’t know all that society tells them they know. They get to learn about our world, the struggles and the joys; they get to get a new perspective on life, the real stuff and not stuff according to their privileged positions.
8He loves massages
Let’s admit it, if there is one good thing about being in a relationship it’s the free massages. There isn’t, that I’m aware of, a single person in this entire universe that doesn’t like a bit of personal touch. Correct me if I’m wrong. It does not have to be an all out oil-laden massage, on a bed naked with candles and music –although that is the good stuff. It can be a simple shoulder massage while standing in line for something, it can be a hand massage while watching a movie, it can be a foot massage after a long-a$$ day. Touch is incredibly seductive and men, just like women, like to feel seduced. Men like to get massages and give them. Some men, with their big strong hands, don’t have to put much effort into the massage itself. The massage is a mutual receptor of pleasure because in the end both parties are either reaching a level of relaxation or titillation.
7They’re Good For His Ego
Oh dear, oh me-oh-my, the old ego-stroking comes into play, ladies –yes, it does. Men love their egos and if we don’t stroke them, they will do it themselves, I can promise you that. This is more than self-esteem, this is putting someone on a pedestal, this is worshiping, this is god-heading. And while this sounds awful, we cannot deny, ladies, that we, too, want to feel divinity wrapped around our shoulders and hips. We all have an ego. But no creature enjoys the boosting and caressing of ego more than men. If he does not get it from his friends or family, he will go out and get it. He seeks it out, actively. And in most relationships he will ask you to stroke his. Be careful of the man that is all about his ego while yours lies by the wayside. Although the ego is part of who we are today as modern humans and feels as though it’s part of the human equation, let’s keep it to a minimum on both ends.
6He Wants To Protect You
The roughest and fiercest of beasts is the female, she is the first to attack, she is the first to protect her young, she is the first to get violent on that a$$, she will do what it takes to survive and help those she loves survive, too. Women are bad mama-jammas. Hell hath no fury, my friends. However, with that being said and with using wild animals as a comparison, men are often thought of as the gender that protects, the savage, untameable creature that can’t control his desires or his rages. Men are not necessarily the ones who protect, but society tells us they are and they do. Men like to feel even more masculine and being in a relationship they have the opportunity to flex their chests. They can tell another to back off, chill out, and mind his business. They can gnash teeth and bark their loudest bark. Let them have a go, ladies. For some of us, deep down, we know that when push comes to shove we got what it takes to hold down the fort.
5He Wants To Serve You
There are some men who are all about serving their women. Some might call these men submissive, but most women would call it lovely and say give me more. Are you really going to turn down those gifts and gestures? A man who caters to his woman is a man that deserves recognition and praise. Men who are into serving women are few and far between and should you get one, ladies, you’d better hold on tight and treat that man good as gold. Men get a real charge from serving women, not only a sexually charge, but an energetic charge because they’ve been taught that women are sacred, that women are precious, that women are worthy and beautiful and human. If a man is really about women, he will love the fact that a relationship is a vehicle to display his respect for women. This man loves being coupled up because he loves loving women.
4He’s Into Domestic bliss
Men are not known for being the tidiest of things. They are often trained from birth that women do that stuff. Leave the laundry in the hamper and poof, magically, later it’s folded in a drawer all clean. Leave the dishes in the sink and poof, magically, later they will be washed and put back in the cupboards. Leave stuff laying around on any surface, gum wrappers, receipts, lint, and poof, magically, it will be cleaned overnight. Men like relationships because of the cleaning up he doesn’t have to do. Men can be very sloppy, piggish, actually. Society has let them be that way, but it’s also the mamas’ fault for not doing proper training at home. Men sometimes look at girlfriends as a replacement for their mother, another woman who knows how to do all the stuff mom knows how to do but she’s got sex appeal. Let’s keep it real.
3He needs help with Organization
This is not to pull the old binary card and say that men are less organized than women because some men really outshine women in this category. But overall, let’s be honest –men are not the most organized pencil in the box. They tend to forget things, they tend to lose things, they tend to leave a trail of crumbs behind them just to find their way back to where they once were. And let’s not talk about multi-tasking which has been proven to be a daunting task for most men. Women know how to keep things in order, look at the process, see the trajectory, and finish the job. We have a creative yet structured way to manage our lives from our schedules to our projects to our careers and households. We are the queens of organization, no wonder men need and want us in their lives. Pig-pen clean up crews.
2They let him be free
This means freedom to be oneself. Freedom to be, period. For most of us, we wear different masks throughout the day –throughout certain phases of our lives. We cover up who we really are to project something we think the world wants from us. When we partner up we can be as free as we want to be. We can confess all sorts of things to our partners –whatever those things may be, and feel comfortable and safe to do so. Men tend to bottle things up because society says they should, so when they have the opportunity to be graced by our presence and see our ability to be wonderfully empathetic and sympathetic shoulders to cry on, they tend to let it all out. Men can finally feel, after hiding and dodging the reality of who they are. Nothing feels greater than that, ladies. Even we have to admit we feel some relief to reveal who we really are, given all the masks we have to wear.
1They Like The Intimacy
Of course, it has to be on the list. For what would a relationship be without intimacy? Men, so the experts say, need physical contact, but I doubt they need it more than women do. What men might need more is to relieve stress or feel the need to spread their seed. We’ve got that, too, right, ladies? But society tells us men need it more and we believe society because they make all the rules. Men like intimacy because who doesn’t? Intimacy feels good and it’s an integral part of any relationship that has any hopes of lasting. This is not just physical intimacy here. We’re talking emotional, too. Men enjoy feeling both despite popular belief. But in all honesty, they love being with us in the bedroom. Relationships give us space for exploration and, should the relationship be healthy, more practice to better our love-making skills.