Breaking up is hard enough, but instantly finding yourself in another relationship right before you’ve had time to properly recover from your last one is definitely a whole lot worse. There’s one word for this sort of thing, and it’s called a rebound. These rapid-fire relationships ignite at lightning speed… and they tend to fizzle out just as fast. Honestly, dealing with the ups and downs of your past relationship was incredibly tough, so why would you want to do it all over again without taking some time to heal first? Some say that the best way to get over someone is to quickly find someone else, but anyone who has ever been in a similar situation will likely tell you otherwise. Nobody wants to be another person’s rebound, and there are a number of reasons why you definitely don’t want your recent breakup to result in you instantly entering a rebound relationship. Here are 15 reasons why rebounding right away isn’t always the best idea.
15You’re Probably Not Over Your Ex
If you just got out of a serious relationship only to find yourself right back into another relationship with someone new… it’s time to slow down and pump the brakes! There’s still a pretty strong chance you’re not yet over your ex. You spent a good amount of time with your ex and you envisioned having a future together. Of course, you never planned for things to end the way they did, so there’s no way you’ve managed to emotionally detach yourself from him so fast. Be honest with yourself: you still have feelings for your ex, and that’s totally normal. Feelings take time to develop, so you can’t expect them to just disappear overnight. You should definitely give yourself the proper amount of time to acknowledge the end of your relationship and come to terms with your lingering emotions for your old love. Replacing one romantic relationship with a new one definitely won’t help you get over him, so don’t put yourself (or anyone else for that matter) in a super uncomfortable situation by entering into a rebound relationship.
14You Deserve Some Time To Yourself
Let’s be completely honest here: relationships are totally exhausting, and breakups leave you feeling down in the dumps. Instead of just hopping on the next available train that comes chugging through town, how about you take a break from dating all together and enjoy some much needed “you” time. Listen, you need some time to yourself to process everything that you’ve recently been through and most importantly, you need time to heal. On top of all that, you have put in some serious time and effort into trying to make your relationship work, and that is some super hard work. A lot has happened and certain parts of your life are changing, so it’s best to set aside a good amount of time for you and only you. Moving on to a new guy in the blink of an eye won’t do you any favors, and deep down you know it’s true. Take a well-deserved time out from men all together and enjoy the many upsides to the single life.
13You Don’t Want To Settle
You might have thought then when you met your now-ex that he was “The One” and nobody else could compare. When your relationship ended, you might have sent yourself straight into panic mode while simultaneously convincing yourself that you need to find someone new ASAP or you’ll risk being alone forever. You definitely don’t want to rush into another relationship right away because frankly, you don’t want to risk settling for the next best thing. Finding someone truly worthy of your time and love doesn’t happen overnight, so you should tread lightly until you know for sure that you’ve found a man who’s really worth your while. You don’t want to wake up one day and want to kick yourself for settling for much less than you deserve. Seriously -don’t let yourself be that person. Settling with just any guy who looks in your direction will do more harm than good and you know that rebounding at lightning speed can only be a recipe for disaster.
12It’s A Bad Habit
Jumping from one relationship right to the next is not a great or healthy thing to do. If you’re basically a relationship addict, it’s best to nip this bad habit in the bud before it becomes a big problem. The first step is admitting when you’re in the wrong, so if you can come face to face with the fact that you’re a serial monogamist, that’s a pretty good place to start. Being caught in a revolving door of relationships is something that happens to the best of us, and sometimes it honestly just happens even when we least expect it. You might think that you’re at your personal best when you are in a relationship, but you don’t need to rely on a man to make you happy. There are so many fun things you could be doing as a #singlelady so there’s really no need to make your main focus be finding a man. If rebounding comes as second nature to you, it might be time to go cold-turkey and let this bad habit fade away into obscurity.
11A New BF Won’t Solve Your Problems
It’s time to face it: a new insta-boyfriend isn’t the answer to any of your problems. In fact, it will only lead to bigger and more serious problems down the road. Rushing right into a rebound relationship is like putting a Band-Aid on an open wound. It might make you feel better for a little while but in the long run, you’re not actually fixing anything at all. You and your ex just broke up, and while you might think the best way to get over him is to get with someone new, that’s just not the case. It’s super important to understand that you shouldn’t just dive in head first into another romance because you’re definitely still recovering from the last one. Rebounding right away can only lead to even more complications that you had bargained for, and you surely don’t need that drama in your life. Help yourself out and just sit back, relax, and take a minute to cool off before getting hot and heavy with the next guy.
10You’re Dating Out Of Spite
You either just got dumped or you were the one doing the dumping. Either way, one thing is totally clear: your relationship with your ex is definitely over and done with. If you go ahead and start dating again the moment your Facebook status officially changes back to “single”, there might be a bigger reason behind your rebounding way. It’s entirely possible that you want to be the first one to find someone new and you’ll do whatever it takes to make it happen. Maybe your main objective is to make your recent ex super jealous by promptly giving the title of “boyfriend” to someone new. Whatever the case may be, if you’re racing to replace your former flame the odds are pretty high that you’re just acting out of spite, and that’s not cool. Of course, nobody wants to hear about their ex moving on before they do, but being in a relationship doesn’t define who you are. You definitely don’t need to prove anything to anyone and you should only start dating again when you’re actually ready, not to get back at your ex. He’s an ex for a reason, and he definitely shouldn’t be the motive behind anything that you do anymore.
9You Could Get Hurt Again
It’s super important to be cautious about who you give your heart to. Breakups are never pleasant, and the fact is that you’re dealing with a broken heart. Of course, by dating someone new so quickly you put yourself in a position to get hurt all over again in record time. In most cases, the relationships that form at lightning speed usually come crashing down about as soon as they took off, which could only leave you in even worse shape than you were before. What would the solution be to mending your heartache after not one, but two breakups that happened back-to-back? If you’re even toying with the thought of another rebound to get you over your previous rebound, just stop now. Rebounding can lead to a vicious cycle of dating as a way to distract yourself from how you’re really feeling. You might try and tell yourself that you’re ready to be in a relationship again, but chances are that’s just not true. Sweeping your feelings under the rug will only work for so long. Sooner or later, you might find yourself in a super tricky situation where you run the risk of getting hurt again and again. Don’t allow yourself to fall into the rebound relationship trap and be sure to think long and hard before letting a new man into your life immediately following a breakup.
8It’s Not Fair To Your New BF
Think about it: you wouldn’t want to be somebody’s rebound, so why make someone else yours? If you’re in a rebound relationship, you’re just not capable of giving your new boo everything he deserves in a girlfriend. Your new guy could really be into you and even fall in love with you at some point, but if you’re not really ready for any of that or you can’t actually see yourself with him long-term, you’re only leading him on and that’s totally unfair. Everyone deserves a partner who is attentive and who puts forth their best effort to making things work. If you can’t give him any of those things, why are you even with him exactly? If the answer is that you only got with him to get over someone else, you know you’re being super selfish and inconsiderate. There’s a pretty strong chance that the new guy you’re seeing has actual feelings for you and is fully invested in your relationship, but if you’re emotionally unavailable and constantly compare him to your ex, you aren’t doing what’s best for him or yourself. Take it from us: it’s best to weigh the pros and cons before getting in too deep with someone new right after ending a relationship. When people’s feelings are involved you definitely shouldn’t be playing games.
7You Need To Stand On Your Own
If we’re being totally honest, there is actually a bunch of good that can come from a breakup, like learning how to be on your own and loving your new-found independence. If you’ve been relationship-hopping your whole life you’ve been totally missing out on so much! Being a confident, self-assured, independent woman is something to be proud of and you should wear it like a badge of honor. Dating one guy after the next can lead to you never knowing how to fend for yourself. It’s really important to know how to be alone and not depend on a man for everything. The need to be in a serious relationship can lead to codependent tendencies – meaning that you always need another person to support you. Of course, this doesn’t do your self-esteem any good, and you’re robbing yourself of the glorious freedom and independence that every girl deserves (especially during your 20s and even 30s). Once you finally break free from always needing to have a guy around, you’ll finally see what you’ve been missing out on all along. Being single can be sweet, and establishing your independence is the perfect way to celebrate breaking the cycle rebound relationships for good.
6You’re Going To Be Confused
The struggle is super real. After a breakup, it’s best to just breathe and allow yourself to grieve the loss of the romantic relationship the right way. Dating someone new right after a breakup can lead to some super confusing moments in the grand scheme of things. What if you still have feelings for your ex, but then you develop feelings for your new boo, too? Being in love with two people literally sounds draining, but that’s the risk you take when you’re quick to find yourself a rebound. Dating is complicated all in itself, and there’s really no need to make things worse. Adding another person into an already messy situation is bound to be a disaster in the making, so brace yourself for a very bumpy ride up ahead. This is exactly why it’s super important not to rush into a rebound relationship right off the bat. There’s no need to hurry when it comes to dating, you’ve got plenty of time to find the man of your dreams. But until then, just stay single for more than a few seconds, okay?
5Your BFFs Are All Coupled Up
You already know that just because the majority of your friends are in relationships right now doesn’t mean that you need to push everything aside to find your next boyfriend. You won’t be considered the odd man out just because you’re the only single one amongst your group of friends. Chances are, one (or more) of them will become single again at some point, so don’t feel like you’re all alone on a deserted island while everyone else is paired off like they’re about to board Noah’s Ark. If your friends have your back, they won’t pressure you to start dating again until you’re actually ready. Your girls want to see you happy but they don’t want you to force being in a relationship just to keep up with them. Everybody moves at their own pace, and it’s totally fine to be the only single person in your inner circle. Catapulting yourself into another relationship definitely isn’t the best thing for you, so put down your phone and get off of Tinder…right now. We’re waiting.
4You Look Desperate
Falling into a rebound relationship definitely isn’t a good look, especially if you’ve done the same thing before. If we’re being honest, rushing into a new love affair can make you look a tad bit desperate, and you don’t want to be that girl. Like we’ve said before – you don’t need a man to validate you or to make you feel like you’re important. If you find yourself always on the hunt for male attention and approval you really might want to hit the brakes. There are many more important things to life than just being in a relationship, and you absolutely don’t want to appear thirsty for any man. You should be totally fine with being single if you just allow yourself to get over your previous relationship. You will find someone to date eventually but there’s really no need to act impulsively. Maybe you just love love and you can’t help it, but you can’t force love to fall in your lap. The right relationship will come along in due time and until then don’t get sucked into the dreaded rebound romance.
3You Could Be Taken Advantage Of
You just went through a breakup and it’s pretty likely that you’re left feeling defeated and vulnerable. Unfortunately, there are some guys who are just plain trouble. If they see that you’re bent out of shape about your ex after dealing with a bad breakup, some might see it as the perfect opportunity to capitalize on your emotional state. You don’t need to be taken advantage of by any means, so don’t be easily fooled by a smooth talking Cassanova who tries to play on your emotions to get what he wants. There are guys who will tell you what you want to hear (or what they think you want to hear) and you might think that they’re trying to comfort you, but there’s always a chance that they’re just trying to be your next love interest. Don’t fall for their stupid games – just because you’re technically “on the market” doesn’t mean that you have to be available for a relationship or a hookup. You definitely don’t need to get yourself a rebound to get over your ex, and rebounding so suddenly will leave you feeling sour. It’s important to know that you don’t need to go to the next available suitor because the only person whose interest you need to look out for is your own.
2It’s Just The Wrong Time
When you do a cannonball right back into the dating pool immediately after a significant breakup, the truth is that you’re probably setting yourself up to fail. It’s a case of the right guy, wrong time. It’s entirely possible that you could meet your dream guy the same day you become single, but there is such thing as coming across the right person at the wrong time. If you’re not emotionally ready to be with someone new but you forge ahead anyway, you run the risk of ruining something that could have had potential. You’re still dealing with a whirlwind of feelings from your last relationship, and if you’re just not ready then you’ll be bringing tons of emotional baggage into your new lover’s front door. You could totally meet a great guy only to sabotage your hopeful love interest by not being disconnected enough from your most recent romance. Do yourself a favor and understand that love isn’t a race. If you find someone who piques your interest, take things slow and become friends first. Eventually, maybe things could turn into something more – but right now your main focus should be on you and only you.
It’s completely understandable that you want to find the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with. Hey, we all do. But that doesn’t mean that rebounding is the way to go. It’s super important to be patient when it comes to dating (and more specifically, dating again after ending a relationship). Your heart is a pretty valuable thing so you should probably take good care of it. We all can’t wait to find that one special person who is our soulmate but it’s not something that can be found by dating every guy who shows any interest in you. Falling into the comforts of a rebound relationship will only bring on more trouble than you want right after going through a breakup. You don’t need to kiss frog after frog to find your Prince Charming, and you might just find that the best things in life are worth waiting for.