It’s pretty much impossible to be in a relationship and not think about the future. You waited so long to find this person and now that they’re in your life, you can’t imagine not being with them. You just want to spend as much time together as you possibly can, even though the general advice is to have your own life (yeah, tell that to your heart and hormones). But unfortunately, sometimes you have a pretty sad moment of realization and you have to go your separate ways. You don’t want to, but you know that it’s for the best. There are some issues and problems and situations that you just can’t ignore, no matter how much you love your boyfriend. Here are 15 reasons why women let go in a committed relationship. You can probably relate to this because we’ve all dealt with these things at one point or another.
Sometimes you just can’t help who you fall in love with. And sometimes, you just can’t help but fall for a guy who is a lot more immature than you are. Oops. Society generally tends to believe that women are way more mature than men, no matter what age, and while perpetuating stereotypes is never a good idea, this one tends to ring true in some cases (sorry, guys, but you brought this one on yourselves). When you are in a serious relationship with someone, you really need to see some maturity on their part. You just can’t progress to the next stage of your relationship without that. It is just not possible. If you want to move in together and your boyfriend is still refusing to talk about it spending every weekend in his boxers drinking beer and playing video games, well, you know what you have to do.
14He Doesn’t Believe In Marriage
This is a pretty big belief in our society, and it’s an annoying one at that. It’s like some guys just don’t get that no one is going to force them to marry anyone. They’re really not. If a guy is even thinking about getting married, it’s because he’s in a really great relationship with someone that he loves and it would just make sense to take that next step. There’s nothing else to it. If you dream of walking down the aisle someday and your boyfriend just hates the idea of marriage and even thinks it’s pretty evil, then that’s a real issue in your relationship. It doesn’t matter if everything else is amazing or if you really think that you can change his mind. Depending on how adamant he is, it’s possible that he might change his mind, sure, but then again, you probably already know that changing a guy is pretty much impossible. So lots of women let go in a committed relationship when they want something different than their partner.
13He Doesn’t Want Kids
Sure, you don’t want to have a baby tomorrow or even this year, but you would like to start raising a family sometime within this century. When you’re in a serious relationship, you can’t help but think about whether or not your boyfriend is father material. It’s just your natural instincts to think this way. If your BF thinks you’re crazy and he has zero interest in even entertaining the idea of having children, then you know that you have a problem. Sure, lots of women stay with their partners because they love them and they decide that they’d rather stay with them than leave them to have kids with someone else. And maybe that works. It’s really up to you because this is a really personal decision and it’s something that you can’t even get advice on. But this is definitely one important thing that ends lots of committed relationships.
Change is an inevitable part of life and love. You can’t expect to be the same person forever and ever, and you can’t exactly expect the same from your boyfriend, either. But if he’s changed in a really negative way and he’s not even anything close to the person that you fell in love with, then you have a huge problem. You have to ask yourself, would you even want to be with this guy if you met him the way that he is now? If the answer is no, well, you already know that you have to end things and end them now. That’s a huge reason that lots of women say goodbye to the boyfriends that they love. It’s just impossible to keep seeing someone who has become so unrecognizable, it makes you sick to even think about it. Maybe he’s become super conceited or work-obsessed or just is treating you really badly. Either way, it’s not a good scene and you’re smart to get out.
11You’ve Become A Different Person
On the other hand, maybe you’re the one who has changed, and if you’re a totally and completely different person now, it makes sense that you wouldn’t want to stay in the relationship. Maybe you’ve realized that work is really important to you and you want to get ahead in your career, switch fields entirely, or even start your own business. If you have new goals and dreams and they take you away from your boyfriend and he doesn’t even support you, then you have your answer about whether or not he’s the right person for you. It’s a sad fact but sometimes the people that you love just don’t have it in them to be happy for you when you make positive changes or become successful. That’s just part of life and it’s something that everyone deals with. If you’ve changed so much that you can’t relate to your boyfriend anymore and the two of you don’t even get along, then it might be time to let go.
10You Fight 24/7
Love may be a battlefield, as the popular 80s song goes, but that doesn’t mean that your relationship has to be. You can’t constantly be at war with your boyfriend. If you are, then you absolutely have to break up, and that’s one reason that tons of women let go in a committed relationship. It’s not good for your emotional health to fight with your partner on a regular basis. It doesn’t even matter what you’re fighting about, really, because the conflict and tension and negative emotions alone will really ruin your life. But you’re probably arguing about some large issue that just can’t be fixed, no matter how much you wish it could. The thing is that if you were meant to be together, you would figure that out and quit fighting already. And you would definitely solve the major problem that’s causing a hole in your relationship. But you can’t and you won’t, so it’s time to let go.
9You Don’t Trust Him
If your boyfriend has cheated on you or you’ve started to think that he might be having an affair right now, then you definitely have to break up with him. The truth is that once that trust is gone, there’s truly zero going back, and you shouldn’t even want to try. You have to trust your boyfriend and feel like he’s loyal and is always going to be there for you, and he should absolutely think the same about you. There’s no point being in a relationship if you don’t have that level of trust. There’s really no point. You might just be suspicious that something is going on, but you should learn to trust your instincts because you probably wouldn’t be thinking along those lines unless you were right. You have to learn to believe yourself and what you’re thinking and feeling. That’s a life skill that will take you beyond this relationship.
8You Don’t Want To Settle
Is there a more depressing concept out there than settling? Probably not. No, definitely not. You don’t want to settle for anything less than what you deserve when it comes to anything in your life. You don’t want someone to convince you to spend more than you have to on a product or service, for instance, and you don’t want to be treated unfairly at work. You want to be paid a fair wage and to get promoted and praised when you deserve it. And, of course, you don’t want to settle when it comes to your love life. The thought of it makes you feel totally and completely sick. You honestly can’t think of anything worse. You don’t want to be in a relationship just to be in one, and worse, you don’t want to spend your whole life with someone just because you figure you should since you’ve been dating anyway. So if you feel like you can’t possibly settle and if you stayed with your current partner that’s what would be happening, then you definitely should leave.
7You Can’t Move Forward
Sure, some couples live pretty much separate lives and they love being more independent than others. It works for them and they never fight about moving in together or getting married or any of that stuff. But for the most part, you absolutely have to move forward in your relationship, or you’re just moving backward or, worse, going nowhere at all. A lot of women let go of a committed relationship when their boyfriends just won’t take that all important next step. Maybe your BF won’t move in together, even though it’s been two years already. Or you’ve moved in together but he won’t get engaged, or you’re engaged but he refuses to even think about a wedding date. If you feel like you’re at a standstill and your BF just won’t move forward, that’s a huge reason to leave. Huge. You do have to talk to him first to see if you can work it out, of course, but chances are he’s already got one foot out the door.
6He Won’t Share Emotionally
Emotional intimacy is a really crucial part of any relationship. You can’t be best friends with someone who never tells you what they’re thinking and feeling, and sharing stories and emotions is a really big part of a growing friendship. The same thing totally applies to romantic relationships. If you’ve been committed to your boyfriend for a while now and he still won’t share emotionally, then you can be sure that you have a real issue here. It’s pretty much impossible to really commit to someone and spend your life with them if you can’t have deep emotional conversations. How are you supposed to weather the ups and downs of life together? What about wedding planning stress? Or the dramatic upheaval of bringing children into your world? What about losing your job or quitting or worrying about money? All of the big things in life require a ton of emotions, and you really need a partner who can support you and who you can support right back.
5You Miss Your Ex
Then there are the women who let go of a committed relationship when they realize that, oops, they really miss their ex-boyfriend. Two things can happen here: either you miss your ex and want to go back to him, or you know that will never happen but don’t think it’s fair to stay with your current boyfriend who you don’t love as much as you thought you did. This is a tricky and sad situation and there’s really no way for it not to get super awkward. It’s pretty much the most awkward thing ever. But you owe it to yourself to explore your feelings if they are truly still there, and it’s really not fair to stay with someone when you don’t feel the same way about them that they do about you. The thing about this kind of situation is that you may hate it when it’s happening, but life has a funny way of working things out. So better times are definitely up ahead.
4You Feel Trapped
Unfortunately, being in a committed relationship isn’t always all that it’s cracked up to be, and you might start to feel kind of claustrophobic in your relationship. Your boyfriend could be the sweetest, funniest, smartest, loveliest and funniest guy on the planet, and you could still feel like he’s trapping you. You might find him way too clingy and you might want to live a more independent life than he seems to want you to live. The thing is that it’s your life, period, end of story. He can’t have any say about what you say or think or feel or do, even if you’re in a relationship with him. It’s absolutely okay if you want to leave him so you can be on your own for a while and so you can find someone who is okay with you being yourself 100 percent to the time. You don’t have to feel any guilt about this whatsoever.
3You Feel Pressured
Another big reason that women let go in a committed relationship? It’s the guy doing all the pressuring. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be young and enjoying your life the way that it is. You don’t have to get married and start having kids just because you’re in a committed relationship and just because your boyfriend (or his family) really wants that to happen. If you feel any sort of pressure from anyone — your BF, his parents, your parents — then you absolutely should leave. You have to do things within your own timeline, not based on what anyone else thinks, whether it’s society or the people in your world. Don’t feel bad about this because you should listen to your heart and your gut instincts. And it’s your boyfriend’s fault if he refuses to listen to what you want and make that happen. He really has no business trying to pressure you into anything.
2You Want To Be Single
Sometimes the relationship just isn’t working and it’s really hard to put your finger on exactly what’s wrong. If you get the feeling that you are absolutely miserable staying with this guy and that you really want to try being single again, then you should go for it. And that’s what a lot of women do. Sometimes it’s much more preferable to be single and happy than in a miserable relationship. Actually, it’s always much more preferable. But some women stay because they can’t imagine being on their own. If you’re thinking about leaving your boyfriend, don’t just think about it — actually do it. You owe it to yourself to explore what life would be like being on your own. And you will definitely meet someone who is a better fit in your life. Definitely. You don’t have to worry about that. Remember: anything is better than being unhappy in a relationship.
1Your Love Is Gone
Sadly, sometimes love just disappears and it’s pretty much impossible to try to get it back. This hurts more the longer that you and your boyfriend have been together. But unfortunately, you owe it to yourself and to him to break up and find someone who you care about more. You might love this guy in a sense since you’ve bonded and connected and spent so much time together. That’s like how people say that you can love someone but you’re not technically in love with them. If that’s how you feel, you know that it’s wrong to stay. It just is… especially if your boyfriend is still crazy in love with you. You have to let him go so he can find someone who can feel that way about him, too. And you need to feel that way because otherwise, you’re just friends with someone. This is one reason that women let go in a committed relationship, and while it’s never a pretty picture, things always end up okay in the end. Actually, they end up a whole lot more than okay.