We’ve all been there. You’re in a relationship that’s hit its expiration date, yet you still can’t seem to end it. The guilt consumes you and stops you from telling your partner how you feel. Anyone who’s ever been dumped knows that it’s a painful experience. And let’s face it, no one wants to be the cause of someone’s heartbreak. But breakups happen and we all go through them. The fact is, when you enter into a relationship, you’re both signing up for potential heartbreak. Of course, it’s completely normal to feel guilt when you’re about to break someone’s heart. But you can’t allow it to prevent you from going through with the breakup. When you stop to think about it, there’s no reason you should feel guilty for ending a relationship. If you want out of a relationship, it’s ok. And instead of focusing on the guilt. You should be focusing on all the reasons that you shouldn’t feel guilty.
15You Deserve Happiness
I’m not saying that the person you’re with should have the responsibility of making you happy. You are literally the key to your own happiness. I know it sounds corny, but it’s the truth. And to put it bluntly, if you want to break up with your guy, then you aren’t happy in the relationship. If you’re not happy, then what’s the point in staying together? When you’re in a relationship you should look forward to spending time with that person. You need to be able to enjoy their company even after the butterflies have stopped. But if you’re counting down the minutes until you have to leave, or you find yourself making excuses for why you’re unavailable to hang out, then you need to move on. You’re only going to make yourself miserable the longer you tough it out. It’s best to go your separate ways so that you can find someone who puts a smile on your face.
14You’re Only Prolonging The Inevitable
Even if you let the guilt get the best of you, and you decide that now just isn’t the right time to break up. You have to realize, that no matter how many excuses you make as to why you can’t end it, it’s only prolonging the inevitable. Because now that you’ve made up your mind that the relationship isn’t going to work out, you’re not going to be able to hide it for long. The looming break up will always be on the back of your mind and you won’t be able to escape the thought of it. You could try to forget about it. But every time you see them, it’s going to be the only thing you think about. That is until one day when they ask you what’s wrong and you can’t hold it in anymore. The worst thing you could do is spring “I want to break up” at a horrible time – like in front of a crowd of people. It’s better to figure out how to let them down easy, instead of blurting it out randomly.
13It’s Doing Him A Favor
Would you want to be with someone who was only sticking around so they didn’t feel guilty about breaking your heart? No, you wouldn’t. And trust us, neither does he. By ending it, you are giving him the chance to find the right person. You’re also taking a lot of unnecessary pressure off him. Because while you may be thinking you’re saving him heartache, you’re actually causing him serious mental anguish. He’ll wind up doing everything he can think of in an attempt to make you happy. When someone has mentally checked out of a relationship, the other person is almost always aware of it. This causes them to overcompensate because they will be trying to change into the person they think you want them to be. And that’s just not fair to do to them. Yes, they may suffer from a broken heart in the short term. But in the long run, you did them a favor and they will recover.
12You Should Never Settle
If you’re on the fence when it comes to breaking up with your guy, you should know that if you decide to stay together for whatever reason, you’ll only be settling. You will wind up wondering what could have happened had you taken the plunge and broken up with him. Think about it, do you want to have the thought of what could have been on the back of your mind forever? Guilt is never a reason to stay in a mediocre relationship. It’s always best to figure out what you want in a significant other and find him. Not settle. Because in all honestly, you deserve to be in love with the man of your dreams. And if you don’t love the person you’re with, then you have every right to break it off with them. But if you stay with the wrong person, you may be missing your chance of getting with Mr. Right. Why risk it?
11It Would Only Get Worse If You Stay Together
Okay, so maybe you are feeling guilty about wanting to break up because the relationship is not exactly what you would call, bad. But it is not good either and you know it is coming to a close. In reality, when you are wanting to break up, there is always a good reason. Even if you can’t pinpoint what that reason is. If it doesn’t feel right, then it is over. Because it’s only going to cause the relationship to further deteriorate. Whatever your reasons are for wanting to leave, they will continue to get worse. And the longer you choose to stay with him, the more they will nag at you until you start to resent him. In the end, you’ll wind up angry and you’ll blame him for your unhappiness. The short term guilt your feeling now is nothing compared to the bitterness you’ll have down the road.
10You Shouldn’t Have To Fake Your Feelings
Once that spark is gone, you’ll be left with three options. Try to get it back, end the relationship, or when you’re around them, you could fake that you have feelings for them. Unfortunately, this is one of those times the saying fake it till you make it, just isn’t going to work. Sure you could pull off an award winning performance and make them think everything is fine. But for how long? It’s not fair to either of you. You would have to play pretend whenever you’re around each other, which would be exhausting. And he’ll feel lied to when he finds out that you didn’t actually want to be with him. Because he will find out. There’s no way you can fake It forever. It will only make it worse for him. If you’re stringing him along making him think that things are going well, he could end up falling harder for you. So when the time comes that you can’t just fake it anymore, it’s going to crush him harder.
9Heartbreaks Are A Fact Of Life
Look, we get it, heartbreak sucks. But they are a fact of life. There is not a soul on this planet who looks forward to having their heart broken. Eventually, we all experience it. And sometimes we have to be one the giving the broken heart. But do not worry, there is a silver lining. Because without the pain that comes from heartbreak, you could not truly appreciate the bliss that comes from finding the love of your life. So even though they may think they are suffering now, when their special someone comes along they will have healed enough to give their heart away again. You will just be a distant memory, and you never know, they might thank you because if not for you, they would have never found this person. And they will truly be able to appreciate the love they receive from them that they couldn’t have with you. Nothing to feel guilty about there.
8Some People Aren’t Meant To Be
You don’t always need a reason to end a relationship. Sometimes things just don’t work out. Not everyone is meant to be a part of your life forever. if you aren’t willing to fight to save the relationship, it’s over. And it doesn’t matter whether you have been together for 7 months or 7 years. Once the relationship has run its course, you don’t need to feel guilty. Instead, you should be happy that you realized it was at the end before you both became miserable, or worse, started hating each other. We’ve all seen those couples who are clearly not in love and don’t seem to want anything to do with the other. But for some reason, they’re still together. Guilt comes in many forms. The couples who won’t separate, even though there’s nothing left in the relationship, let guilt get in the way of their happiness. Don’t let that be you! You know you’ve learned all you could from each other and you had some good times together, but now it’s time to move on.
7They’ll Move On… Eventually
If you are too guilty to leave, you are just going to have to get over it. Because even if they think you are “the one”, you can rest assure, that they will bounce back from it. Although, it probably won’t be overnight. It may take them a little time to fully mend their broken heart and be able to move on. After all, no one wants to be dumped. But they will find someone new in time. Heartbreak never lasts forever, even if sometimes it feels like it will. They most likely will never forget you, but that doesn’t mean they’ll always be hung up on you. The day will come when you don’t even cross their mind anymore. And when they do think of you, it will just be a passing thought. You’ll both move forward with your lives after the breakup and everything will end up fine.
6You’re Doing This For You
I know that you don’t want to hurt him, but you have to take into account what you want too. And staying in the relationship, isn’t it. Finding someone new at this point most likely isn’t your reasoning for wanting to end it. But finding yourself should be. You can’t focus too much on the guilt you’re feeling. If you do, you’ll only make yourself miserable. You need to do what is best for you. The fact is, you’re not completely sure what you want. And staying in a relationship that isn’t working, is not going to help you figure it out. You need to take some time and perhaps be on your own for a little while in order to realize who you are, and what you want out of life. Because otherwise, you’re just going to keep getting into relationships that won’t work out long term. You should never feel guilty about doing something that is best for you.
5It Wouldn’t Get Better
Even if you decide that you are wholeheartedly determined to make this relationship work, realistically it won’t get better. For a while, it may seem like things are improving, and they probably will. But it won’t last. Sadly, things will go back to the way things were. And you’ll be right back where you began, wanting to end it. You see, it takes 100% commitment and determination from both people in the relationship to make it work. But if that didn’t happen from the beginning, it’s not going to happen now. You’re better off moving on, and finding a partner who can give you what you need but will also make you want to give you’re all in the relationship. Because that is what a relationship is. It’s a partnership. And you have to feel like you are both ready to make it work from the moment you become exclusive. It’s almost impossible to build a solid relationship when the foundation of it is cracked.
4Put Yourself In Their Shoes
If you were with someone who wasn’t invested in the relationship, wouldn’t you want to know? Of course, you would. No one wants to be in a relationship where they are the only one who is invested in building a future together. If you want to end it, tell them. Honestly, you sort of have to. They are only going to figure it out when you begin distancing yourself from them. It will also hurt them more than if you had just been straight forward with them, and broke it to them in a gentle manner. You’re only being selfish if you stay with him because you are too guilty to leave. If you just end it, he could be in the healing process, but instead, if you stick around you’re making him more invested in the relationship. You may be telling yourself that you’re doing the noble thing by saving him from heartbreak, but you’re actually being selfish by trying to save yourself from feeling guilty.
3You’ll Have Time For Yourself
Relationships take a lot of work and you will find yourself spending less time doing the things that bring you happiness and instead, and find that you are spending more time with them doing the things they enjoy. And while there are definitely a lot of amazing things that come from being coupled up. There are some negative aspects as well – such as your limited free time. Which would not be such a problem if you actually enjoyed spending time with that person. But let’s face it, once you are over the relationship, you will only feel like you are wasting your precious time when you are with them. But by ending a bad relationship, you will give yourself spare time to do the things you like. Because when you are single, you do not have to worry about whether or not anyone will like the activity. You can just do it.
2You Weren’t Compatible
If you were, you might still want to be him. Okay, so maybe compatibility isn’t the only part of a good relationship. After all, there’s love, attraction, communication, fun, etc. But let’s face it, compatibility plays a huge part in a healthy relationship. And it’s something you either have or you don’t. You can’t expect the relationship to work out when you have nothing in common. Sure, you could both compromise and do what the other person wants. And we all know opposites attract. But if you’re a night owl and he’s a morning person, or you love going out but he’s a homebody, how long do you think the relationship can work out? Eventually, one or both of you will get annoyed with the other and try to change them. When that doesn’t work, it’s going to end badly. Fights will increase and someone will get their feelings hurt.
1Better Social Life
Let’s face it, being single definitely, has a few perks. And an active social life is one of them. Now that you’ll be living the single life, the time you would have been with him trying to salvage the relationship can be better spent hanging out with friends or going out and meeting new people. You have to have a little fun in life. And even if it was your decision to end the relationship, breakups suck for everyone. And there might be times you question whether you made the right decision. So keeping busy with friends and having a good time, is the perfect distraction to keep those thoughts and feelings at bay. Don’t let the guilt keep you from having fun. You will both move past the hurt and guilt and find peace in the end. Until then, you should pick up the phone, call your friends and plan an epic girl’s night out!