It’s no secret that you’re pretty obsessed with your phone. You can’t help it. You need to be connected to the world 24/7. You need to have access to Twitter (how else are you going to see what’s going on in the world?) and Instagram (how else are you supposed to post your food photos and selfies?). You definitely need to text your best friends on a daily basis — hey, you guys have a lot to talk about. And now you’re probably dating thanks to your phone because apps are allowing everyone to meet more people (or meet people, period, since it’s tough to meet the old-school way now). Unfortunately, when you get into a new relationship, you realize that your phone has entered that relationship right along with you. It’s like having a third person around and it can make things confusing and complicated and fast. Here are 15 reasons your cell phone is ruining your relationship.
15You Ignore Your BF
You don’t mean to. And you really don’t want to. You love him and you love that you’re together. You’re so glad that you’ve got this amazing person in your life and you wouldn’t change that for a single thing. But then there’s the fact that you’re so attached to your phone, you can’t help but ignore your boyfriend on a regular basis. When you go out to dinner, whether it’s to a fancier place for a special occasion or just the pub around the corner from your apartment, you can’t help but text your BFF or check social media sometimes. And when the two of you are hanging out at home watching Netflix, you can’t help but tweet all about the new show the two of you are super into. You don’t love when he ignores you in favor of his cell phone… and yet you can’t help but do this yourself. Oops. You’ll do better, you swear.
14You Text About Him
It is kind of funny that sometimes you end up giving your best friends a play-by-play of your relationship… while your boyfriend is in the room with you. Or while the two of you are supposedly grabbing dinner or drinks or even seeing that new movie you have been waiting to check out. But your cell phone is definitely ruining your relationship because you should not be texting about your boyfriend so much. You know you should not. It is not the best thing for either one of you since you should be trying your best to be present and actually spend time with him. You should not take him for granted and you should appreciate the time that you have together. And then there is the fact that you should not be spilling so many secrets or talking about him so much. What happened to a little thing called privacy?!
13You Feel Like You’re Doing Something Wrong
You’re not cheating on your boyfriend. Of course not. You would never, ever do that. But sometimes, when you’re hanging out with him and your nose is buried in your cell phone, you kind of feel like you are. You feel like you’re doing something wrong, even though you’re not (well, not technically). It’s not a crime to be on your cell phone when you’re hanging out with someone else. Everyone does it. But it is kind of rude. Okay, it’s definitely super rude. So it’s no wonder that you feel like something is up here because to be totally honest, it is. How would you feel if the tables were turned and your boyfriend was obsessed with his phone? Yeah, exactly. Your mind would start wandering and you might even wonder if he was talking to another girl. So it might be something to consider stopping just in case he wonders if you’re chatting with another guy.
12You Can’t Focus
One huge reason your relationship is being totally and completely ruined by your phone? That would be the fact that you just can’t focus. You’re so used to checking your phone every two seconds, from your social media accounts to your email and text messages, that you can’t concentrate on who or what is right in front of you. You know this is totally true if your boyfriend has ever stopped talking and asked you if you’re even paying attention to him because you seem so interested in your cell phone. You are probably super guilty of this and it’s probably happened too many times to count. The problem, of course, is that you might end up losing the person that you love if you keep this kind of behavior up since your boyfriend might get super tired of always asking you if you’re listening to him. He might not want to date your phone as well as you.
11You’re Sharing Too Much
It’s super tough not to share a lot about your relationship online. You can’t help but post everything the two of you are doing on Instagram, from the awesome breakfast you just had to the Sunday afternoon walk through the leaves in your neighborhood park. You want to share this awesome person with your friends (and followers, of course). Why would you be super silent about your relationship when your boyfriend is making you so totally and completely happy? You can’t believe how much he’s changed your entire world so you want to document that. You can’t help but chat about all the sweet and charming and romantic things he does for you on your Twitter feed and Facebook account. But when you’re sharing too much about your boyfriend on your phone’s social media apps, that’s a bad thing. It’s going to piss him off eventually because he’s going to wonder why nothing can be sacred and private anymore.
10You’re Way Too Into Couple Selfies
Oh, the couple selfie. If you think that the selfie was the best thing to happen to phones and social media feeds, then you probably are totally on board with the couple selfie. You love that you and your boyfriend can take a million pictures together and it’s not considered weird or even vain. You post a lot of couple selfies. Like a lot. You just think your BF is so cute and so adorable and you want everyone to see. But if you’re way too into couple selfies, then your cell phone is 100 percent ruining your relationship. It’s just a simple fact. You can’t be so concerned with how perfect your relationship looks on the outside or on the surface. But if you’re posting lots of couple selfies, then that’s exactly what you’re doing, and that’s going to be pretty toxic and negative in the end. You should focus on your relationship and on spending time with your boyfriend, just the two of you, no social media or cell phones allowed.
9You’re Only Texting Him
Sometimes it’s hard to communicate with your boyfriend face-to-face, no matter how much you two love and care about each other. It’s super easy to get into communication ruts where the only way that the two of you talk is through your cell phones. Life and all that goes with it get in the way, and soon you’re texting when you’re apart during the day at your separate offices, and texting on the way home to ask the other what you want for dinner. Then when you get home, you’re way too tired from work and running errands to really talk, so you just briefly discuss your days and then collapse on the couch to watch some Netflix. But you’re not really talking, at least not in person. The next day you start the whole cycle all over again and you’re still communicating mostly through text messages. Thanks to your cell phone, you feel like you’re talking to your boyfriend because of those text message. But really, you’re not getting enough face time with each other, and that’s going to be pretty bad in the long run.
8You Don’t Have Serious Talks
If you and your boyfriend are mostly communicating through your cell phones, guess what? That absolutely means that you’re not having any serious talks. And when you’re not talking about things that matter to both you and him, then your relationship is going to suffer in the long term. What if you resent him for something but never get around to telling him because hey, it’s kind of awkward to talk about serious topics and even argue over text? What if he never brings up what he’s upset about for the exact same reason? It’s just not a great idea to primarily chat though your phones because your relationship should mostly be in person. Sure, sometimes you have to text to talk about plans and of course it’s fun to share inside jokes or GIFs or anything else during the day. It’s not like you should never, ever text each other. But if you’re avoiding serious stuff because of how much you both rely on your cell phones to communicate with each other, that’s not a good idea.
7You Care Too Much About Your Online Presence
You’re so attached to your phone and so obsessed with your social media apps, you can’t help but care about your online presence. And that means that no matter how much you’re supposed to be enjoying time with your boyfriend, you tend to focus more on how you look to the outside world. If you’re having a good hair day or you just made the best looking dinner you ever have, guess what? You want to post those on Instagram. Not later. Right now. Unfortunately, while that’s awesome for your social media feeds since you’re always putting out great content for your friends and followers, that’s not so great for your relationship. Plus there’s the fact that your BF is going to get annoyed with you and fast (if he’s not already, of course — and he probably is, whether or not he’s let you know). If it was him doing this, you wouldn’t love it, either.
6You’re Not Being Fair
The thing is that if you are so into your cell phone that it’s changing how you spend time with your boyfriend, that means you’re not being fair. In fact, you’re being extremely unfair. Think about how you feel when you grab dinner with your best friend and everyone is on their cell phones instead of talking and having fun and catching up. You hate that, right? You’re super confused because you don’t understand why they’re doing this since the entire point was to spend time together (and you probably spent a few weeks coordinating the plan, too — sigh). Just think how upset your parents get when you text at the dinner table when you visit them on a Sunday night. Or how much your family just wants everyone to enjoy themselves instead of documenting every family get-together or celebration on social media. It’s just fair to ignore someone you’re supposed to be spending time with.
5You’re Forgetting The Whole Point
Being in a relationship means sharing your life with someone. Sure, you don’t have to give up every single thing in your world (and you totally shouldn’t because how lame is that?!). You still want to see your friends and family and you can’t give up your hobbies and all that. But when you care more about you cell phone than your boyfriend, you’re honestly forgetting the whole point of even being in this relationship: being with him. In person. Not texting all the time. Not texting in front of him. Not checking Instagram just one last time before you really do focus on him this time. Remember the reason you’re even with this person in the first place and that should help you stop your cell phone obsession. At least, that’s the hope… if you don’t want to be crying into your cell phone because your BF dumped you.
4You’re Getting Distant
The truth is that if you are always on your phone when you’re with your boyfriend, you’re becoming super distant from him. The sad part is that you probably don’t even realize that this is happening. No, it’s not too late to change things… but if you keep up this behavior, it might be (not to totally freak you out or anyway, just being totally honest here). Think about it from your boyfriend’s perspective. If you’re always seeing your partner on the phone and not really paying any attention to you, you’re not going to feel very valued or loved, right? And you’re going to feel like your partner is ignoring you and just being super distant. It’s like you’re crazy far away from each other, even if you’re sitting next to each other on the couch or across from each other at your favorite bar or restaurant. It’s not a good habit to keep up.
3You’re Super Used To It
The problem with any kind of habit is that you get used to it… and if it’s a bad habit, like texting too much or being too into your cell phone, that’s even worse. That means that you don’t even realize that you need to change. And if you don’t want to change your actions and behavior, you’re not going to, right? Just think how hard it is to change any guy, no matter how invested you are in the relationship and no matter how cute and funny and cool he is. So when you’re super used to the fact that you’re really into your cell phone, you’re also kind of used to the fact that this is ruining your relationship. It’s just something that you have accepted. It’s easy to get complacent and think that all relationships are like this — that the longer you’re with someone, the more comfortable and casual you can be around each other, and you don’t have to try hard to talk or anything like that. But you do, and you deserve a real relationship.
2You’re Enabling Him
Another big problem with being so into your cell phone? You’re basically enabling your boyfriend because you’re acting like it’s okay for him to do the exact same thing. You might not even realize because you just think this is a normal part of your life and your relationship. But whenever you hang out with your boyfriend, you might start to notice that the two of you are on your phones. Sure, you might be spending time together (at least technically) but you’re not spending quality time together. That means that you will start to feel like you’re not even in a relationship at all after a while. People might ask you what you and your boyfriend did this weekend… and you will totally struggle to answer. You won’t remember anything because it will all be a total blur. You just sat on the couch and watched TV but you didn’t focus on him or the TV show, you were just focusing on your phone. Sounds awful, right?
1You’re Not Being Realistic
At the end of the day, it’s not realistic to think that you should keep your total attachment to your cell phone and keep your boyfriend around, too. Eventually, he’s going to get sick and tired of telling you to pay attention to him, and he’s going to think that your lack of attention means that you don’t care about him. Since you do, that’s going to be pretty horrible and even kind of devastating. So be careful with your cell phone addiction. You may think it’s no big deal because everyone else that you know is obsessed with their phones, but while that may be true, it also might be true that they’re honestly ruining their romantic relationships, too. You just wouldn’t know because they wouldn’t tell you. It’s okay to love your cell phone… but you should love your boyfriend more. Like a lot more. Remember that and remember how lucky you are to have him in your life.