15 Reasons Your Relationships Keep Failing
Unfortunately, and as much as it sucks, not all relationships are meant to last. We can all agree on that. But not all relationships should fail so quickly, either. We can’t always hold onto the ones we love but there should always be some relationships that work out – even if it’s just for a little while. So why does it seem as though your relationships keep failing? Is it you? Is it just the rotten people you end up dating? Or could it be a combo of different reasons? You’re probably asking yourself why your love stories aren’t working out when you feel like you’re doing everything right. Some relationships should fall flat, even if they’re fun and interesting. At the end of the day, some people just aren’t meant to be together. It’s an annoying part of life but it’s just the way it goes. A lot of sweet people can’t make a relationship work to save their lives and if that’s you, it might not have anything to do with you. But other times, well, it could be 100 percent your fault. If you’ve recently begun asking yourself why your relationships keep failing, these 15 reasons may shed some light on your dim reality.
15You’re Dating The Wrong People (For You)
It’s easy to see a TV character that has a personality you like but is that really the kind of person that you should be with? Sure, your fave drama has a super hot, dark, and mysterious guy but do you really need that kind of person in your life? Probably not. The truth is that we don’t really know what kind of guy we want but we claim we like a certain “type” and go for it. No wonder it doesn’t work out! No guy will be everything that you want, and if you need reassurance and comfort and contact/attention, a tall, dark and mysterious guy is not the right person. There’s a big difference between who you consider attractive and who you should actually be in a relationship with.
14You Rely On Fairy Tales
Those damn romantic comedies! They’ve ruined just about every aspect of love. We all want that fairy tale romance that we see in our favorite movies, but we never realize that type of love doesn’t actually exist. Thanks a lot, Hollywood. We want something so far-fetched that unfortunately, everything else is a huge disappointment. If your relationships keep failing, it could definitely be because you expect a relationship to be like a movie when the reality is so different. Movies don’t show our everyday routines or how annoying someone (especially guys!) can be if you spend too much time with them. If your relationships keep failing maybe you should take a look at your vision of a relationship and tone it down. A lot.
13You Never Truly Open Up
We’ve all been hurt by someone who was too immature to be a man about something and wound up breaking our hearts as a result. While this is a fact of life and has happened to every single one of us, some of us take it much harder than others and carry that pain into each relationship we enter into. But being super guarded isn’t going to protect us from getting hurt again, no matter how much we want that to be true. A lot of your relationships have probably failed because you never opened up to someone and shared your feelings. You can pretend like everything is okay and you’re super happy but that won’t fool them. If you don’t open up, well, your boyfriend is just going to leave you for someone who will. You have to open yourself up if you want a real relationship.
12You’re Not Ready To Settle Down
Relationships sound pretty awesome in theory. You have someone to cuddle with, make you feel beautiful, and generally, share everything with. Of course, you’d want to be in a relationship if that’s what’s involved, right? Well, wanting a relationship doesn’t always mean that you’re ready to settle down and share your life with someone. You really have to be ready, and you might not be, even if you think that you are. You could feel pressure because all your friends are coupled up, but if you’re not ready, your relationship is pretty much doomed from the very start. You won’t be committed and they’ll realize that and jump ship as soon as they can.
11You’re Too Needy
Neediness is not cute, ladies. No matter how many funny memes depict the adorableness of a girlfriend demanding attention from her boyfriend, neediness will never be something that is desired in any relationship. If you act needy, your relationship will fail. If you’re needy, you’re probably pretty familiar with that. If you’re someone who ditches your friends, plans, hobbies, and pretty much everything that made you interesting in the first place in order to have more free time to bother your significant other, it’s no wonder you can totally relate. Your boyfriend is going to resent you and think you’re super annoying, no matter how much he likes you. So if you’re the type of girl who texts her BF nonstop, calls him nonstop if he doesn’t answer, and need a play-by-play of his daily life, that’s exactly why your relationships keep failing.
10You Think Nothing Will Last
Your mind is such a powerful tool and it can really alter your whole reality. If you’re always thinking about how all you do is get dumped and that you’re doomed to spend your life alone, then that’s exactly what is going to happen. Your mind is actually the most influential thing in a relationship and if you’re always doubting things, that’s going to spell trouble. Plus, your sig other is going to be able to tell that you’re insecure about the relationship and they won’t want to stick around with someone who doesn’t believe things will last forever. If you think it won’t last, you’re going to act like that, and who wants that? Stop with the negative thoughts already and it might actually last this time.
9You Can’t Compromise
How come some people’s love stories last a lifetime? It’s definitely their ability to compromise. There has to be a certain give and take in a relationship in order for it to last and be healthy for a long period of time. You can never have things 100% your way. No boyfriend of yours will want to stick around if they never get anything they desire. If you’re someone who prefers things, “my way or the highway,” then that is definitely why your relationships keep failing. You have to be willing to give up something you want so your partner can have something they want in order to keep a well-balanced, happy, and fair relationship. Would you want to date someone who demands things be their way all the time? Yeah, probably not.
8You’re Waiting For Prince Charming
You expect way too much from one person. You can’t expect your boyfriend to do everything that you want him to… sometimes even without you asking. No one is going to have every single quality and characteristic that you want them to. Even the best boyfriends will have a quality or two that you don’t like. By expecting too much, you’re not only putting pressure on someone who can’t possibly live up to that, but you’re also disappointing yourself for no reason. I’m sure you’ve left a relationship that “failed” because you were just never happy. The reality? You always expected too much and were disappointed as a result. If you truly want to find love, you’ll have to lower your expectations and be happier with what someone can actually offer you.
7You Can’t Share Your Feelings
Communication is another hugely important part of a successful relationship. You probably suck at communicating your feelings, let’s just be honest here. How do you expect your boyfriend to tell you how he feels if you won’t tell him yourself? I don’t know about you, but I can’t read minds and I’m sure none of your exes could, either. You have to tell them when they’re upsetting you and when you’re unhappy about something otherwise they’ll never know and you’ll be left to fester and build up with resentment that will ultimately lead you to leave them. Either that or you’ll act like such a raging witch for so long that they’ll get fed up and leave you. Communication can save even the worst of relationships and can provide any new relationship with a stable base to grow from.
6You’re An Open Book About Your Dating Past
Come on, girl! We all know that when you’re dating someone new, you need to keep your past on lockdown until you’re 100 percent sure they like you for who you are. Nothing will make a guy run for the hills faster than a new girl who has never had a functioning relationship. It basically screams trouble. I would definitely have reservations about dating someone who confessed that they’ve never had a successful relationship. You can certainly tell your new guy about your past relationships, but just leave out the part that you don’t think any relationship has ever been successful. You should always let someone get to know the real you before telling them that kind of info. They will be less likely to split if they can see that you’re truly a great person.
5You’re Too Insecure
Insecurity always causes a ton of relationship issues and I have no doubt that it’s played a part in your failed relationships. If you’re insecure, guess what? You’re probably jealous, too. And what one thing that jealousy causes that can lead to a breakup? Fighting. If you struggle to feel confident and secure in a relationship, this will absolutely come across as jealousy. Your BF is not only going to get super annoyed but hurt, too, since you won’t be able to trust them. You’re going to act needy and you already know how bad that is. If you feel this is why your relationships never work out, you need to work on yourself and love yourself more. It’ll save you the heartache… and save some poor guy the trouble of dealing with you.
4You Run At The First Sign Of Trouble
Maybe you’re the one ending all your relationships, and if you run away at the first sign that something is wrong, you’re never going to have a healthy, long-lasting love story. All relationships have ups and downs and you have to get through those low points in order to gain all the benefits of a relationship. If you’re out the door before they can get a word in edgewise when you’re arguing or having a serious talk, then you’re basically the reason for your relationship failing. Nothing is going to be perfect. You’re going to fight. You will struggle with certain things but that’s all natural and normal. Your relationships could keep failing because you’re not willing to work through the tough parts in order to experience the success of a healthy and happy relationship.
3You Put Guys Down
Everyone needs some constructive criticism every now and then. That’s how we grow and improve in life. However, you can sometimes take the criticism a bit too far and end up insulting the person you care about. Some people do this often without intending to and that’s what leads to the demise of an otherwise perfect relationship. Constant nit-picking will make even the kindest of people leave you. If you find that you’re offering your significant other “help” or “constructive criticism” often, you could actually just be insulting them on a regular basis. This not only causes them to feel insecure around you, but it also fosters resentment in their hearts and they won’t be able to be calm and happy around you because they’ll always be fearful of your terrible opinion about them. Watch what you say to those you care about and your relationship won’t fail.
2You’re Not Honest About Who You Are
Man, oh man, if I had a dollar for every time I witness a girl (even friends of mine!) pretending to be someone she’s not just to land a gorgeous guy, well, I would be sipping margaritas on an island of my choosing… that I bought. Confession: I’ve totally done this too… obviously without success because you can’t form a relationship built on lies and deceit. You can’t pretend to know about sports or a certain band or pretend to have a certain hobby and then build a relationship off of that. Sooner or later they’re going to catch on that you lied about all of that and if those are the reasons they fell for you in the first place your relationship is going to come crumbling down faster than you can even blink your pretty little eyes.
1You’re Too Picky
When you’re looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, you don’t want to be too picky. That means you’re totally going to be blind to someone who is actually perfect for you just because they don’t have a certain trait that you feel is super important. So what if he’s not taller than 6 feet? Is that really what’s going to make you happy now and forever? If you’re way too picky about the types of people you date, you’re just never going to make a relationship work. You could have a relationship that has been going perfectly fine until you find out ONE little detail about them that just throws you off and you end things because you can’t live with that fact – or something else completely superficial. Pickiness will lead to the failure of all of your relationships if you can’t put trivial things aside and accept someone for who they are. It’s heartbreaking and discouraging when your relationships seem to always fail. But luckily, you can totally fix the 15 things on this list and find love.