If relationships were super simple, then everyone would be in them. Of course, you know that’s not the case and that you can never expect to join your life with someone else’s and have it be super easy with absolutely zero issues or problems. You’re asking for trouble if you expect absolute perfection because you’re not perfect and the people that you’re going to date won’t be, either. But sometimes you’re actually the problem, whether you realize it or not. It sucks to realize that you’ve made a ton of mistakes in your past relationships, but you know what they say: you have to accept your past if you want a great present and future. Isn’t it so annoying how those popular sayings end up being so true and wise? If you seem to always find yourself breaking up with someone and things just don’t work out happily ever after, you definitely want to read this. Here are 15 reasons you’ve ruined every relationship you’ve ever had.
15You Don’t See Your Mistakes
If you refuse to see when you make mistakes or are hurting someone that you care about, then it’s no wonder that your relationships don’t last. If you were upset with your boyfriend about something that he did — if he never offered to help make dinner when you two were hanging out in your apartment, or if he was always half an hour late but never tried to change — you would be pretty pissed off if he refused to listen to you. And you would definitely be angry if he refused to change and make things better. You don’t want a stubborn boyfriend, so why are you such a stubborn girlfriend? You can’t just do whatever you want without thinking about how your actions and words and behavior are going to affect the person that you supposedly care about. If you can’t ever listen and stop being so stubborn, your relationships are never going to work out.
14Your Head Is In The Clouds
Being positive and upbeat is definitely a great way to live your life. No one likes negativity and complaining, and that stuff definitely doesn’t fly in a relationship. But if you live with your head in the clouds all the time because you’re so naive and innocent about your relationships, then it’s no wonder that you ruin things every single time. You can’t have such unrealistic expectations because if you do, you’re just going to be upset and disappointed in the end. People can’t act the exact way that you want them to and they’re not going to be exactly who you want them to be. Let’s say your boyfriend has said that he needs to take things slow because although he really cares about you and wants you in his life, he’s had a lot of bad luck getting close to someone too soon and he doesn’t want to lose you. If you freak out and claim that of course, he’s going to say that he loves you within a few short months of dating, then you’re being crazy naive and you’re going to ruin things.
You don’t want to date someone who’s so immature that they can’t make their own mind up or that they can’t face a problem head on. You don’t want to date someone who can’t take care of themselves, pay rent or buy groceries or clean their apartments. But if you act that way, then that’s definitely one of the major reasons that you’re always ruining relationships, whether you realize it or not. A relationship may take two, but it also takes a whole lot mature adult behavior. You’re going to get in fights with your significant other and you’re going to upset each other. That’s just human nature, no matter how much you love each other or how close you’ve gotten. If you’re going to yell and scream when your boyfriend doesn’t agree with you or refuse to fight fair, then you’re immature, and you’re never going to find a love story that lasts and lasts until you can stop behaving this way.
12You Pretend You’re Still Alone
Sometimes people get so afraid of finding love that they pretend they’re still on their own, even when they’re in a relationship. Acting like you’re still totally and completely single is basically self-sabotage and it’s no wonder guys don’t stick around. You can still be super independent and have your own life — and you should. You’re kind of lame if you do every single thing with your boyfriend and see him seven days a week. But you should still invite him to family gatherings and your best friend’s birthday party and those work events that you don’t love going to but you know are totally necessary and important. If you go out all the time without him, then why are you even with him? Doesn’t that make zero sense? If he was doing the same thing, you would accuse him of not caring enough about you or not even wanting to be in the relationship. So it’s no wonder you keep ruining your relationships.
11You See Each Other Too Much
Of course, you’re supposed to hang out with your boyfriend a lot. You want to be with him as much as humanly possible because you care about each other and you’re in this thing for a reason. And yet you’re totally ruining your love stories every single time if you see your boyfriend all the time. It’s way too much because you need to still be living your own lives. You should never give up literally everything in your life for him — if you stop seeing your best friends and your family and your coworkers and even watching your favorite shows and doing the things that you love, then things are not going as well as you think that they are. You’re not only totally setting yourself up to fail if you do break up, but you’re setting yourself up for a pretty empty and dull life. A relationship is a part of life, yes. But it’s not your entire reason for being and it shouldn’t be.
10You Don’t See Each Other Enough
On the other hand, a relationship can’t possibly sustain itself if both people don’t make a real point of seeing each other on a regular basis. If you only see each other on the weekend, maybe that works… for a little while. Eventually one of you is going to get pretty upset and feel kind of deserted. You’re going to wonder why you’re even dating because you’ll want to spend more time together and you’ll quickly see that maybe the other person doesn’t actually want to hang out more often. So if you’re the guilty party so to speak and you only want to see your boyfriend on the weekend and you don’t make an effort to make him a larger part of your world, it’s no wonder that things never work out for you when it comes to love and romance. You can’t really be all that shocked and surprised, can you? It’s definitely time to change your ways.
9You Listen To Other People
If your best friends in the world and your parents told you to break up with someone, would you do it? Sure, they might have some good reasons for hating someone that you’re seriously dating… but then again, maybe if you don’t see that anything is wrong, they have some pretty silly and stupid ideas about who you should be with. It’s hard to consider that the people you love and that love you might not always know what they’re talking about, but sometimes that’s honestly the case. Maybe your boyfriends have always had unconventional jobs or dreams and your family and friends don’t like that. So maybe you’re always the one to end things just as they’re really getting good because you are too pressured by what other people in your life think of who you’re dating. But shouldn’t you listen to yourself and think about how you truly feel?
8You Have Terrible Taste
Hey, sometimes you just keep dating the same kinds of losers and you have no one to blame but yourself. If you’re the worst at picking guys and you have terrible taste, then it’s no wonder that things don’t work out. You’re ruining your relationships before they even start. How can you think that dating a guy with no job or who basically has no intention of doing anything with his life is going to end up being a good boyfriend for you? Sometimes in life, you honestly set yourself up to fail even without meaning to at all. It’s like when you pull an all-nighter in college to cram for an exam. Well, you think you’re doing the right thing and doing your best to study as much as humanly possible. But you’re actually doing the wrong thing because you’re putting too much pressure on yourself, studying too hard and too much, and oh yeah, not getting any sleep at all. You do the same thing when you choose the worst guys possible to date.
7You Don’t Have Fun
When you’re in a relationship, you’re too busy thinking about what people think about your couple status and you’re always wondering about when you’re going to reach the next milestone. But keeping your eye on the clock so to speak isn’t going to do anything except break your heart and your boyfriend’s, too. You can’t rush things and relationships need to each move at their own natural pace. You can’t force love to happen, you have to just spend time with the person that you’re dating and do what you can to be good to them. If you’re worrying so much about all this stuff, you’re not going to have any fun together, and that’s a recipe for disaster if there ever was one. There’s a reason that you see happy and successful couples constantly laughing and joking around — they’ve figured out that the secret to true love and happiness is having fun together, even when they’re just hanging out and being super low-key.
6You Don’t Stop Dating
If you’re the kind of relationship girl who never stays single longer than a few weeks at a time, that means that you never stop dating, and that’s a really horrible thing to do. You think that you’re doing an amazing thing and that you’re going to have a much better chance of finding love because hey, you’re bound to find love with all these guys you keep going out with. But you’re doing the opposite of that. You’re forcing yourself to date and that’s no way to find someone you actually like. If you don’t take a time-out every once in a while and just chill out and live your own life, then you’re not taking care of yourself. You still have your own life and you still have to focus on things other than dating sometimes. Don’t act like a professional dater and boyfriend finder, that’s just weird. Until you can take a step back and only go out with people that you see a real future with instead of just dating for the sake of dating, your relationships will be short-lived.
5You Pressure Yourself
Sometimes you put pressure on yourself to always be in a relationship. It’s not that you think you would look super lame and pathetic if you stayed single… but you kind of do, or else you’d just suck it up and stay single. If you always feel that you have to have a boyfriend, then you’re going to automatically ruin every single relationship that you’re in. You’re never going to find true love and happiness unless you change your ways and you change your mindset. Sometimes a change in perspective is all that it takes. You really shouldn’t be so hard on yourself because if you go without a boyfriend for a few months or even a few years, that really doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t say anything about you. It just means that you haven’t met anyone that you really like and connect with. You shouldn’t settle for just anyone.
4You Don’t Know Who You Are
You know what they say: if you don’t love yourself, you can’t possibly think that someone else could love you. So maybe you think that you loved every single boyfriend that you’ve ever had and that they loved you in return. But maybe not. Maybe you don’t know who you are and so you can’t love or be loved back. You need to figure out what you really want out of life and what things you care about and what you’re going to focus all your time and efforts on. Until you can get yourself in order and figure these things out, you’re not going to be much use as a girlfriend. You’re just going to go through the motions of being in a relationship instead of learning what really makes you happy. You may think that things are totally fine and that you know who you are and what you want, but the proof is in the pudding as they say. If you keep getting dumped, then you know things aren’t working out too well.
3You Put Walls Up
If you put walls up and refuse to tell your boyfriends how you feel about them or you never seem to have any opinions about anything, then it’s no wonder you have had your heart broken a whole lot. You can’t be happy and in love without letting your guard down. You deserve to tell someone how you really feel about things and to be totally honest with them, and you deserve the same from whoever you’re with. If you can’t do that, then you really have no business even attempting to be in a relationship, and you really shouldn’t even be going on any first dates at all. You have to open yourself up. That’s the entire point of falling in love. You have to be closer to your boyfriend than anyone else in your world. That’s the relationship dream and that’s always the ultimate goal. Until you can do that, your relationships are all going to end up the same way: in total disaster.
2You’re In Love With Love
If you love the idea of love more than the people that you’ve ever claimed to feel that way about, something is seriously wrong here. Guys can smell that from pretty much a mile away. It’s basically super desperate to expect to love everyone that you hate. Not everyone is the right person for you — in fact, most of them will be anything except the right person. And that’s fine. That’s just part of this whole thing called life and that’s just part of the journey. You need to enjoy your own path and stop thinking that you have to love everyone. Stop being so in love with love. Sure, love is pretty amazing and everyone wants to find it, but that doesn’t mean that this is the right time for you to feel that way about anyone at all. You’re just going to put totally unnecessary pressure on any guy that you’re dating and things will never work out the way that you want them to.
If you’re always confused about how you truly feel about a guy, then, of course, you end up heartbroken every single time. How would you feel if someone treated you that way? Yeah, exactly. It would suck and it wouldn’t be much fun at all. The truth is that if you feel this indecisive about the guys that you date, that really means that you don’t care about them too much. You may like them, sure, and think that they’re good people — and maybe they really are good people. There may be absolutely nothing wrong with them, they’re just not the right guys for you. Trade your confusion for some clarity and figure out that until you can be more decisive about the people that you let into your life, you’re never going to find love that really lasts. And that would be a shame, because everyone deserves love, and you probably don’t mean to ruin every relationship that you have ever had.