The sad reality is that we leave this world the same way we enter it, alone. In between the entering and the leaving, however, we are wired to create connections, help one another get through this ride, and provide support to one another. Easy in concept, but it isn’t simple for every type of personality.
For some of us, feeling safe, secure, and included doesn’t come easily. Feeling alone is not an uncommon feeling at times, especially when there is a loss in life. If, however, you are continually asking the question – why do I feel so alone – there may be something more inside driving your feelings of loneliness.
8 things that make you ask, why do I feel so alone
Typically, when people feel continually alone, even when they have people in their life, there is an internal force behind their feelings. Whether you are feeling alone after a big break up, or for no reason at all, the only one who can change your feelings of loneliness is you.
Learning to be okay with being alone is the key to not being lonely. The reality is that feeling alone rarely stems from not having anyone in your life, but some other driving force. Here are some reasons why you keep asking…
#1 You have an underlying mood disorder. There are times when people have an underlying mood disorder that predisposes them to feel anxious and depressed. When you are depressed, it is hard to feel anything but lost and alone. The feeling of hopelessness is one of the biggest driving forces behind feelings of loneliness.
That is why people who have depression can be surrounded by hundreds of people in their life, and still feel alone. If you are continually asking the question – why do I feel so alone – then it may be worth talking to a counselor to see if a mood disorder is at the heart of your feelings.
#2 You can’t let go of the past. If you had a loss in the past that you can’t seem to get over, then it can keep you stuck feeling lonely. Whether it is a breakup or the death of someone important in your life, if you keep that place filled with memories, then it is stopping you from filling it with love and other people.
Holding onto old relationships will almost certainly make you feel as if something is missing, and you’ll feel alone no matter who you have in your life. You have to grieve, rationalize, and try to move forward so that you can fill that empty and lonely space with love and fullness.
#3 You don’t know who you are. There are times in life when we wake up feeling like a fake. If you have always let other people tell you who and what you are, then you aren’t ever really sure what is real and what is created in your mind.
#4 You never do what you want. Sometimes feeling alone is really just feeling unfulfilled. If you are a dreamer who feels stuck and like you aren’t ever moving forward, that can feel isolating. Feeling stuck can lead to hopelessness and a feeling of being alone and lonely.
If you want to stop asking the question – why do I feel so alone – it may involve you following through with your dreams and stop being stuck by your own mind limitations. People who are moving ahead don’t have time to feel alone; they are bettering themselves and working toward being the happy person they long to be.
#5 You feel sorry for yourself. There are times when we can get stuck feeling sorry for ourselves like the world has done us wrong. When you feel negative about your life and wallow in your own self-pity, it is difficult to feel loved and fulfilled.
#6 You are too guarded. If you have been hurt in the past, you may be creating a self-fulfilling prophecy of being alone. Not wanting to be hurt in another relationship, you may be pushing other people away unconsciously and then telling yourself, “See, no one cares for me.”
Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. If you feel alone, you may be creating the loneliness on your own through not letting people in, pushing them away, or creating drama to destroy the close relationships that are trying to protect yourself from.
#7 You are using vices to fill the loneliness, but they aren’t working. People who feel lonely, typically, use vices to make themselves feel less alone. Things like compulsive working out, drugs, and alcohol are all ways that people stop the feelings of loneliness through feeling nothing.
The problem is that the vices are only further keeping you stuck in your lonely feelings. Bottoming you out, you wake feeling a little less human, spent, and empty. If you want to stop feeling lonely, put the vices away and try to live wholly in the world without crutches.
#8 You are addicted to social media. Social media is a great tool to help people connect… or is it? There are some personalities that simply aren’t made for social media sites like Facebook. Being addicted to having a cyber life may be taking you from your real one.
We all feel that way at times. Also, if you are creating a facade of happiness to the outside world, then you aren’t being your genuine self and may be comparing yourself to the imaginary person you have created online and feeling bad that you aren’t really them.
