When we get into a relationship and we are really into that person, we will try anything to make the relationship last as long as possible or even for a lifetime. There are obvious things that we try to avoid in relationships when we don’t want to ruin them such as acting too jealous, picking fights for no reason, or even talking to our ex’s. But does the obvious stuff always keep a relationship on good terms?
If you answered yes to that question, you may be a bit clueless when it comes to keeping a partner for the long run. The right answer would have been no. There are lesser known things that we do, maybe even on a daily basis, that could cause a premature end to the one relationship we were trying our hardest to keep. Sometimes things like telling our best friend everything, getting too comfortable, and even the things we say on social media could be putting a damper on our love life and we might not even be aware we are doing it.
We have compiled a list of seemingly normal things to never do in a relationship if you want it to last. If you are currently in a relationship or even just thinking about getting back into the dating game, it is worth checking these things out to help make your relationship last as long as possible.
15Living In Sweats
Living in sweatpants can seem okay for you to do in a relationship at times. Some people may think it’s laundry day while others may think that you have completely given up on the way you look. Some guys may—at times—view sweats as being cute while others see it as being downright gross. It all depends on the man in question. Sometimes sweats are perfectly fine for a lazy day or an easy and relaxing weekend.
But when you’re in a new relationship and have been wearing adorable jeans, skirts, or dresses that make it seem like you have been putting some effort and time into how you look, then suddenly switch to nothing but sweatpants they may start to wonder about what’s exactly going on. They may think, “Wow, she just stopped trying.” That is not an impression you want to give your partner. Try to mix it up. We understand that at certain times of the month you could care less, but try not to make it an everyday thing.
14Hating On His Friends
Almost every guy has a group of friends that they can get crazy around. It doesn’t matter how old the man in your life is, their boys sometimes become like family to them. Hating on his friends out loud or making dirty faces when he talks about them is not advisable if you want the relationship to last. Some guys, unfortunately, even place their friends above their girlfriend.
We are not saying that is right, but it’s just something that tends to happen—especially in the earlier stages of a relationship. It is okay if you really do hate his friends, just try not to be too verbal about it. We are sure that even you have some friends that he isn’t too fond of. However, it does work both ways, he shouldn’t be bashing on your inner circle just like you shouldn’t be hating on his.
13Airing Out Dirty Laundry On Facebook
Airing out your dirty laundry and even giving too much information about your personal life on social media can be an easy and quick way to ruin a relationship. If your intention is to end the relationship, keep at it. If your goal is to make it last—stop posting every little fight the two of you have immediately!
The world doesn’t need to know every time the two of you are spewing hate at each other or the mean things he just said to you. Social media can really put a damper on trying to make a relationship go as far as possible. According to the Huffington Post, posting something so small about what your partner did can actually lead to even larger and deeper arguments. Even if all you are doing is trying to vent, it is better left off of social media.
12Telling The Bestie Everything
How many of us run to our best friend every time something positive or negative happens? I know I have been guilty of this in the past. We have that one favorite person in our life, usually our bestie, who we tell absolutely every detail of our lives to. But did you know, doing so can actually strain a relationship? This is because when you get into fights with your partner, your bestie will usually side with you, right? Which leads to them having negative thoughts and feelings about the love of your life which can cause some strain.
Not only will your bestie try to interject some advice that can sometimes be bad—because maybe you didn’t really explain the role you played in the fight—but he or she may start giving your partner the cold shoulder which could make him start thinking, “Oh, great, what did she tell her friend now?” It’s not always worth it.
In this day and age, we are all usually glued to our cell phones. But when you are trying to have a nice time with your boyfriend or partner, your phone should be put down so the two of you could actually spend some good quality time together. If the two of you are trying to watch a movie or even just enjoy some coffee together, you shouldn’t be texting your best friend about how amazing the movie or your cup of coffee is.
Constantly texting while with your partner can make him feel less important when your goal is to actually try to show him how much he means to you. This is something that should also go both ways. He shouldn’t be on his phone the entire time either. It is just not good for any relationship nor does it allow the relationship to bloom to its full potential.
10Getting Too Comfortable
Being comfortable with your partner is very important, but there is such a thing as being too comfortable. Things can start to go sour once you start trying to pass gas to go for an all-time high score. Or telling him what your period reminds you of when Aunt Flo is in town. It’s, of course, okay to let him know when it is that time of the month, but you don’t have to go into all the gory details.
While being open is key to a healthy relationship, sharing every little detail about things that are most likely too much information could push him away. It gets even trickier to avoid TMI if you live with your partner because that tends to be when people start leaving the bathroom door wide open while going number two. If you want your relationship to last, try not to share the things that you wouldn’t want to hear about yourself. As an additional tip: Also, try to shut the bathroom door each time you have to go.
9Comparing Relationships… Even If Meant To Be In A Good Way
As you already know, when you are in a relationship with someone they really do not want to hear about your previous failed relationships or about how much you used to love your ex. But without realizing it, we may sometimes compare our new love with a previous one and say things like, “I never loved my ex as much as I love you.”
While we meant it in a nice way, usually when we get into a new relationship our current boyfriend still does not want to hear about it. At times, it just slips out of our mouth before we realize what we are saying. If you really want a relationship to last, try not to say anything—good or bad—about a person you once dated. Your ex was left in the past for a reason, right? Now, it is time to focus on the here and now with the person you actually want to be in your future.
8Not Being Confident In Yourself
For many different reasons, we all have things about ourselves that we dislike or are insecure about it. For some women, they may completely lack confidence in themselves. It may be due to low self-esteem or something someone has said about them in the past. A lot of guys actually try to go for women who are confident and secure in their own skin.
They don’t like telling their girlfriend that she is beautiful just to have her reply back with a frown on her face as she lowers her eyes toward the ground while saying, “No, I’m not.” They want a thank you instead. Even if you are not sure of yourself, you can try to act confident until you start to believe in yourself.
Sometimes lacking self-confidence can actually ruin a relationship—especially in the beginning. If you want to make the relationship last, even if you don’t believe it when he tells you that you are pretty, put a big smile on your face and just say, “Thank you!”
7Spending Too Much Time Together
When we get into a new relationship, we love spending time with that one person that can make the butterflies in our tummy go absolutely insane! We may even cancel plans with our best friend once in awhile just to be able to spend a little more time with our boyfriend. It can help start building the blocks to a solid foundation for your new relationship. But be careful, there is such a thing as spending too much time together that can tear down those blocks that you have been working so hard to build.
In any relationship, new or old, when you spend too much time together those butterfly feelings can start to burn out fast and you both may start to feel smothered according to Madamenoire.com. It’s almost like saying, “How can I miss you if you’re never gone?” Some distance can actually make the heart grow fonder. If you spend too much time together, it may ruin a good thing before you get a chance to even watch it fully evolve.
6Expecting Him To Do Nice Things For You
In relationships, it is always a plus when you and your partner do nice little things for each other. More often than not, guys are expected to buy the flowers and the candies and the cute little sporadic gifts. Or something even as simple as holding the door open for their girl.
If you have come to expect these sweet little things, you have already put your relationship in jeopardy. Technically, he doesn’t have to do anything for you at all. He was just doing it to be nice. If you start to lack appreciation for the little things, they will most likely come to a screeching halt. If you want the relationship to last, always say thank you and show him how appreciative you are to have him in your life. Do things for him as well, maybe even open the door for him once in a while.
5Losing Sight Of Yourself
When we are in relationships, it can be easy to lose sight of ourselves and become what we think our partner wants us to be or even become more like them. This is never a good thing to do. Your partner got with you because of who you are. Maybe they love how funny you are, how opinionated you are, or how open-minded you can be. You shouldn’t change yourself while in the relationship unless it is to make positive changes.
It can be easier than you think to ruin something good just by losing yourself and what you think and believe in. You had goals, hopes, and dreams for yourself before you got into your relationship. Don’t let those things go. Sometimes it can be so easy to take on part of your partner’s personality. But you are you, and if you want the relationship to last you need to continue being yourself. Guys don’t want to date a replica of themselves.
4Being Closed To New Experiences
Guys are adventurous by nature. When we get into a relationship everything is brand new. If you want to keep the spark going strong in your relationship, you are going to have to try new things once in a while, according to Psychology Today. You don’t want things to grow old and boring. Doing new things and having new experiences is key to keeping that from happening. Guys and people, in general, grow bored easily. If you are closed off to trying new things, you will most likely cause the relationship to end earlier than you would like.
We are not just talking about new things in the bedroom, but even trying stuff like choosing new and exciting places to go out to on date night. Or even new adventurous activities to partake in. You don’t want to be stuck doing the same old thing day after day. That is what can cause people to part ways and look for something new and exciting in someone else.
3Not Fully Thinking Before You Speak
It is always a good thing to communicate with your partner. Without communication, there really is no true relationship at all. However, that does not mean just rambling things off without thinking about what you want to say and how you are going to say it—especially if it is about a serious topic. If you want your relationship to last, you should always fully think before you speak. Not doing so is where miscommunication can happen.
You might accidentally say things in an offensive way or saying something that you really did not mean to say. This is especially true when we are trying to communicate with our partner while we are emotional. Sometimes we just start speaking and then it is hard to tell what will come out if we don’t think it through all the way.
2Falling Into A Routine
Routines can sometimes be a good thing. But according to Madamenoire.com, it may not be such a good thing to have happen in a relationship because it can turn the relationship into something boring, which could also lead to an unhappy partner. While you may be content with the same old routine day in and day out, your partner may not be.
This is another thing that could seriously ruin something that you really want to last a long time. It is good to be spontaneous once in a while, and switch things up so that they don’t start to become mundane and played out. It can be comparable to getting the same things for your birthday every year and knowing exactly what you are going to get, leaving the element of surprise long gone.
1Reducing The Effort
When we get into relationships, we put a lot of effort into it. We try to make the best of things and try to keep our partner happy. However, as the days and weeks go by and turn into months and sometimes years, we may greatly reduce the effort that we put into it. Relationships are meant to be equal—we get as much as you put into it.
If you start to take your man for granted, we will eventually be able to see that which could cause him to lose interest. Why should he put any effort into it if your not? If you want to make the relationship last it requires work. Once you get the guy, doesn’t mean it ends there. You have to keep up with it. Relationships require upkeep in order to make it the best it can be and to make it last.