Relationship regret is pretty much the worst thing ever. It happens when you suddenly find yourself totally and completely unhappy in your current relationship. You’re not sure how you got here because it’s not like you magically ended up here — you chose to date this guy and move up to the next level with him. But you just know that this was the wrong decision and that this is not the right person for you. Guys feel this too, even though you might not think so. Sometimes they realize that they want out of this thing and as soon as humanly possible. If you think about it, you’ve totally experienced this before… and maybe a few guys that you’ve dated have felt this way and acted this way. But it’s okay. As long as you can recognize the signs, you’ll never waste your time again. Here are 15 signs that he regrets being in a relationship with you.
15He Seems Bored
Sure, you don’t exactly think that you’re the most fascinating person on the planet. You definitely know that you aren’t because while your self-esteem is pretty high up there and you know that you’re awesome, you’re not about to get super conceited on everyone. But you don’t want to seem bored when you’re talking to people because that’s kind of rude. Okay, it’s completely rude. If your boyfriend suddenly seems bored when you’re together, you can be sure that he’s not into the relationship anymore and the break-up talk is coming faster than you might think or want. He’s staring off into space more times than not. He’s barely paying attention to your conversation or even to the Netflix show that you’ve been binge-watching together. When he does talk to you, he gives one word answers and getting him to say more is like pulling teeth. Yup, he’s full of regret right now.
14He Keeps Freaking Out
Freak outs in relationships are pretty lame because hey, you’re an adult and you want a mature, grown-up kind of relationship. You don’t want to be with someone who is always worried about reaching the next milestone or thinking that he’s not totally ready. That’s lame and pathetic and not what you deserve. If your boyfriend was fine with these things in the past but now he’s freaking out all the time, then you can be 100 percent positive that he’s finally some major regret. He doesn’t understand why he’s in this situation and he just feels like he’s trapped and like he made these choices too quickly and without putting too much thought into them. You’re probably feeling pretty insulted at this point and no one could blame you. After all, you didn’t exactly force him to be your boyfriend. But this is one of those times when it’s really not you, it’s all him and his weird issues.
13He’s Bailing On You
When your boyfriend keeps canceling plans, whether last-minute or days in advance, you can be sure that he regrets this relationship. There is really no other logical or reasonable explanation for it. No one should be treating you this way. Absolutely no one. You may think that hey, it’s no big deal because you’re a cool person and you get that life is busy and things get stressful sometimes. But you should never think that way because you deserve someone who will make time for you. When you love someone, you want to see them. Period. Of course, things do happen and sometimes you both have to cancel or reschedule. But that’s the thing — it’s an exception, not the rule. If this is becoming the rule, then don’t listen to a single explanation that he has because he’s just feeding you tons of excuses and you don’t need that.
12He’s Not Showing Up
The worst thing someone can do is say that they’re going to do something or be somewhere and then not show up at all. If your boyfriend never shows up to your best friend’s birthday party, your own birthday, your Christmas party, or even a family thing, hey, you can be sure that he regrets being with you. It’s a harsh thing to realize but it’s so much better to know this as soon as you can so you don’t waste even more time dating someone who’s not 100 percent invested in the relationship. If he ever embarrasses you by doing something like not showing up somewhere that he swore he would be, you shouldn’t stand for that. You should basically tell him to take a hike because it’s a privilege for someone to be in your life and to be close to you, and they should never treat you like you don’t matter. Never ever.
11He Goes Back On His Word
If your boyfriend promises you something and then never delivers or says that he’s decided not to do that after all, yup, he regrets being in a relationship with you. He’s basically screaming for help and trying to tell you without so many words that he’s unhappy and doesn’t want to be in this thing anymore. Maybe he said you guys would go on a relaxing beach vacation over the Christmas holidays… and then he backtracked and said he wouldn’t be able to do that after all. Maybe he said you would move in together… but, boom, he’s just told you that he’s moving in with his brother or best friend. He’s going to make you feel like he lied to you or even manipulated you, and you really don’t need to feel that way. If he acts this way, you don’t need to be with him anymore, and you two need to have a serious conversation.
10He Slows Things Down
Relationships need to move forward and both people have to feel like there’s a certain element of progress going on. You both need to be totally on the same page or else things will never work out. It’s just a simple fact. You can’t stand still in these same place forever and think that it’s okay. If your boyfriend suddenly slows things down, then he definitely is thinking long and hard about what he thinks about his life and he’s realizing that he’s not super into the idea of being your boyfriend anymore. Neither one of you should ever slow things down because that would mean that you’re going backward and no one wants to go backward. Everyone wants to move forward and feel like things are going really well. So maybe you were going to move in together and he suddenly is saying no, or maybe he proposed and now he’s saying you should wait a little bit longer before getting engaged after all. The bottom line is that he has no right to push your relationship back and you have every right to dump him if he does this.
9He Seems Distracted
Everyone gets distracted sometimes — it’s pretty much unavoidable when life can get so tricky and stressful sometimes. But there’s a fine line between being a bit distracted with work issue or being totally ridiculous and refusing to behave in a normal, polite way. If your boyfriend seems distracted all the time, then you can be sure that he’s thinking about whether or not he wants to stay in this relationship. It’s not your fault and it really has nothing to do with you, so if you start noticing this behavior, you should never feel like it’s because you’re the worst girlfriend ever. You’re definitely not, he’s just too immature to handle a real relationship. You should definitely call him out on this and try to get him to talk about what’s going on and what he’s feeling and what he’s thinking about your future. Just be prepared that you might not like what he has to say or what the outcome of that conversation is.
8He’s Doing Things Alone
Of course, couples can’t do everything together or see each other 24/7. There are things like work and jobs and buying groceries and paying bills and, you know, living your life. Those things definitely get in the way. But there’s a difference between you heading to your fave Saturday morning yoga class… and your boyfriend never seeming to be free to hang out with you anymore. If you notice that he’s doing a lot of things alone these days — if he heads to a work event without even telling you about it, let alone inviting you — then you can be sure that things are heading downhill and fast. He’s isolating himself from you and basically trying to get himself used to the idea of being alone and you not being in his life anymore. It sucks, yes, and it’s painful to think about this, but you have to talk to him and face the very real possibility that this could be the end for you two. But do you really want a boyfriend who refuses to spend time with you? Yeah, probably not.
If your boyfriend is whining and complaining all the time about pretty much everything, he’s definitely unhappy. And he’s unhappy with your relationship, plain and simple. It’s human nature to take your frustration out on the person closest to you or the person that you care about the most in the world, so if he’s behaving this way, you can be sure that he’s regretting your relationship. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you because he can love you and still think that things aren’t working out and that he doesn’t have a real place in your world anymore. That’s a pretty harsh truth about life and love but it’s a lesson that you have to learn eventually, so you might as well learn it right now. Think about whether you even want a boyfriend who seems totally and completely miserable and who wants to complain about everything under the sun. It doesn’t really sound like too much fun.
6He’s Always In A Bad Mood
It’s not tons of fun to date someone who always seems to be in a bad mood… so if this is happening, you might want to think seriously about whether you even want to be in this relationship, let alone if your boyfriend wants to stay. If he’s always in a bad mood, he’s trying to show you that he’s not happy in this relationship anymore and that he doesn’t want things to continue in the same way that they’ve been going. The thing is that people get super immature and lame sometimes and they don’t want to actually say what they’re feeling or thinking, so instead of telling you that he doesn’t want to date you anymore, your boyfriend is going to sulk around and seem like he’s absolutely miserable. You wish that he would just be totally honest with you and just talk to you, but hey, life’s not always easy or fair.
5He Tries New Things
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with trying new things. That’s the whole point of life. If you never take up any new hobbies or explore any new interests and just keep doing the same old stuff, you’re not really taking advantage of all that this great life has to offer. But you should try new things as a couple because sharing experiences is pretty much the entire point of being in a relationship in the first place. You love this person and you want to join your lives together and do things as a pair. So if your boyfriend is suddenly super into something and he’s not involving you at all, or even telling you what he’s doing, then you can be sure that he’s got some major regret to deal with. He shouldn’t be keeping his new running or baseball hobby a total and complete secret from you. That’s just plain weird.
Frustration is a pretty unique emotion. It’s not quite being mad or annoyed or stressed out, although you can be all three of those things and be totally frustrated, too. Guys take out their frustration in different ways than you do. If your boyfriend is feeling frustrated, then you can be sure that it has something to do with you and your relationship, because he feels like he’s unhappy but he has no idea where to go or what to do. He’s just super confused right now and that means he’s going to snap at you about the tiniest of things that don’t really matter at all. He’s going to make dinner and then freak out that it’s not perfect or even edible when you figured, hey, it’s pretty good. He’s going to yell at you when you suggest doing something fun this weekend. He’s going to flip out when you talk about a friend or family issues because he’s not sure that he wants to even stay with you, let alone hear about these things.
3He’s Become A Homebody
Being a homebody has become pretty cool (thanks, Netflix). You want to live your life and have as much fun as you can, but of course, you get tired sometimes and you need to chill out at home. You can’t be on the go all the time because you’re going to go crazy and get pretty sick. But there’s a difference between needing some rest, relaxation and down time… and being such a homebody that something is seriously wrong. If you’ve noticed that you and your boyfriend never seem to go out or do anything except hang out at his apartment, there might be something going on with him. He could be seriously regretting being your boyfriend and he could be wondering about how to possibly break that bad news to you. He doesn’t want to hurt you, that’s for sure, and he’s at a loss as to what to say or how to handle his thoughts and feelings. He’s sticking close to home because he’s super preoccupied with what to do.
2You Know Something Feels Off
If you know how it feels to be in a happy relationship — and, more specifically, you remember the good times with this particular guy — then you definitely know when something feels off. You might not be able to put your finger on it, and you might not know exactly what’s wrong or what’s going on. But you know that things are as good as they used to be… and they’re definitely not as good as they should be. You can probably tell that your boyfriend’s not jumping for joy 24/7 and that he seems to be pretty miserable about something pretty important. If you get the feeling that something is definitely wrong in your relationship, then the truth is that you’re absolutely right. You would never feel that way or get that vibe if things were peachy keen. Your boyfriend regrets the relationship and chances are, if you tell him that you know he’s not happy with you, he’s going to say that he’s sorry and he thinks it’s time for you to end things.
1He Tells You
Sometimes when people reach their breaking point, they decide to just be super brave and actually talk about what they’re dealing with. The truth about guys (and any human beings really, but guys especially) is that when they confess something to you and get real about what they’re thinking or feeling, you have to believe them. They’re not lying to you and they don’t even want to be having this deep conversation in the first place. They would rather ignore it and not rock the boat so to speak. So if your boyfriend tells you that he’s unhappy or he’s not sure that this is the best situation for either one of you, you absolutely have to believe him. You should realize that it took a lot of guts for him to come to you and talk to you about this, and you should be glad that he’s decided to stop wasting your precious time. Now you’re totally free… and you can meet someone who doesn’t regret a single thing because they know that they’re crazy lucky to have you in their life.