What word has the ability to make men break out in cold sweats? Commitment. Bring up the topic of committing to a serious relationship and you can literally see the sweat dripping from his eyebrows. Dating a commitment-phobe can be a gut-wrenching experience as you wonder if he will ever be ready for a serious, long-lasting relationship. You can spend excessive time questioning his intentions, your relationship, and yourself. Spending months, or even years, discussing a real relationship with someone who does not intend to commit becomes laborious. Understanding the difference between commitment-phobia and being busy as you start your relationship can save yourself some sleepless nights. Being aware of the signs early on during your time together is crucial in determining whether or not he’s in it for the long-haul. If you’re looking for a commitment the last thing you want to do is spend your time with a man who won’t stick around. Some men are just not made to commit to one woman and no matter how wonderful you are it’s not going to make a commitment phoebe change his ways. When you learn to read signs and learn patterns of men who run away from serious relationships it’s going to make your life much more simple. You’ll realize spending months of your life trying to make a man who can’t commit to a shampoo interested in a committed relationship is a useless task. Here are 15 tips to help you read a commitment phoebe and make your exit!
15Disappearing for Weeks On-end
It has been said that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but being gone for weeks without letting you know where he is means he is not committed to the relationship. When a guy is serious about the relationship, he will text you or call you if he is not able to meet up with you. Letting you know he is thinking about you through a simple text or call is a caring gesture. Being away from you for weeks without reaching out means he will not commit to you. He is letting you know he doesn’t care enough about you to fill you in on what’s going on. He’ll also ignore your attempts at reaching out to him and all your calls and texts will go unanswered. If he doesn’t respect you enough to give you 5-minutes of his time, you’re not someone he will ever commit to!
14Casual Plans Make Him Uneasy
Casual date-night every Friday is popular for most couples. Locking in date-night night for a commitment-phobe however, is completely different. When you are unable to secure a date night with him, it means he is not going to commit to a long-lasting relationship. Date nights are common and what girl doesn’t enjoy getting dolled up for a night on the town? When he gets worked up about date night and can’t even commit to one night a week, he won’t be willing to commit to a real relationship. If he commits to date-night but cancels plans almost every time this is another way he’s trying to show you committing to you doesn’t mean much to him. A man that cares about a woman will give in to her desires even if he’s not fully excited about the task at hand. If your happiness means anything to him he’ll give in once in a while, at the least.
13You Do Not Really Know Him
Being able to talk to the guy you are with and getting to know who he really is can be an exciting part of a relationship. If you spend hours talking to him, but do not get past his superficial self; he is not letting you in so you can get to know the real him and chances are he never will. A guy will be sharing his hopes, dreams, fears, and even failures with you when he is serious about a relationship. When a guy does not share who he is deep inside, he is not investing in the relationship, therefore a commitment is not being made. Take the time to examine if he’s really letting you see the real him. If you’ve been together for months but don’t really know anything special about him than you’re not the one for him. He doesn’t deem you worthy of his past or future.
12No Progression in the Relationship
A relationship progresses over time into different levels and doesn’t stay stagnate unless there’s no chance of a commitment. When you bring up commitment and moving to the next level, a guy should be willing to discuss a serious relationship. If he changes the subject each time you mention the word commitment, he is not willing to move the relationship to the next level. When he is progressing in other areas of life such as work or education but continues to keep your relationship as is, he is not taking your time together seriously. He has decided to invest more time in other areas besides your relationship because he doesn’t see you in the future he is creating for himself. You’re most likely something he can do for now and when he’s done having his fun he’ll give you your walking papers and he’ll be on to his next conquest.
11Says He Does Not Want a Relationship
When he flat out says he does not want a relationship, he really means he does not want a relationship. Too many girls spend time on a guy who tells them he does not want a relationship thinking they are an exception to what he is really saying. Do not spend months or even days on a man who has been straightforward with you and told you there’s no future together. If he tells you he has commitment issues or does not like labels, move on with your life. You will be doing yourself a favor and saving yourself from countless nights spent wondering if he is ever going to be ready for a relationship. We all love the challenge of turning a commitment phoebe into a family man but at what cost? Your sanity, dignity, and time! This man is flat out honest with you so when he ends up breaking your heart you have no one to blame but yourself.
10He is Untrusting
Various reasons can lead to why a guy is untrusting of others. Perhaps he has some deep-seated issues from a past relationship and thinks the only person he can trust is himself. He can shy away from conversations about committing to a relationship. Constantly calling or checking up on you is not exactly a good thing and can become overwhelming. When he is suspicious of everything you do as well as what others are doing, he has issues he needs to work through before having any type of a healthy relationship. He will never truly commit to you if he can’t trust you because all long lasting relationships must have trust as the foundation. If he’s way more concerned about what you’re doing take this as a cue to run. No matter how much you reassure this man he’s never going to trust you and trying to prove yourself will become a tiresome task.
9He Moves Too Fast
While bringing up marriage on the third date might sound good, it can actually be a sign he is not willing to commit. Talking of marriage or commitment early on and then avoiding the topic, means he isn’t mature enough to make an actual commitment. By coming on strong at the start of the dating experience and then backing off quickly means he is just interested in the thrills he gets from the chase. He does not have your best interest in mind. Talking of commitment early can also be a sign he is just saying what he knows you want to hear. Be cautious of a guy who gets serious too quickly and then immediately backs off because he’s intentions are to get you into bed and nothing more. Once you’ve slept with him the thrill is no longer there for him and you’re going to be just another notch on his belt.
Being spontaneous is often an exciting characteristic for a guy to have, but when his lifestyle revolves about spontaneity, it can be his way of avoiding a serious relationship. If all he wants is something spontaneous all the time, think about what deeper factors can be involved. There is a difference between genuine spontaneity and a spontaneous lifestyle. To help determine that difference, gently mention that you’d like to plan a date to go on and have him commit to it. If he’s genuinely interested in you he will work with you to secure a day and time because he truly wants to spend time with you. A person who leads a spontaneous lifestyle to avoid committed relationships will shy away from setting a time and day to get together. Spontaneity can be exciting and fun, but not when you are trying to move your relationship on to the next level.
7He Does Not Take You on Actual Dates
When your dates are all about you going over to his place to watch a movie or cook dinner for him, then he is not serious about a relationship with you. Dates should not be about the bare minimum. You are worth the effort of a guy going out of his way to dazzle and delight you. By creating experiences that you will enjoy, a guy is letting you know he is invested in you and the relationship. You should not be the only one putting forth the effort for creative experiences together. A guy will invest time to make joyful memories with you if he is truly invested in you and your relationship. If you love going out on dates and he knows this but won’t do anything about it take it as a clear sign that he doesn’t care about making you happy.
6Hot and Cold Tendencies
One minute you are having an exciting experience with someone you care about and the next minute he is shutting down and you are left wondering what is going on. Hot and cold tendencies can make you feel unsettled. This can be a sign he is not ready for a long-lasting relationship. If he is always pulling away and not willing to sincerely talk about how things are between you, commitment is not something he is considering. It is a very unsettling feeling to go from being in such a positive place in your relationship to feeling like you don’t know the person you’re with. Constantly wondering what he’s thinking and feeling isn’t a healthy situation to put yourself in. Healthy relationships will make you happy and excited about your future with your significant other. If you’re not happy it’s your cue to go!
5He Does Not Have a Mission in Life
Everyone has a mission or driving force in their life that moves them forward to be better, help others, and a reason to get up in the morning. If he is not passionate about his career or things he is doing in life, he may not have a strong desire to commit to a relationship. An ambition to pursue a dream job or goals to get to where he desires to be demonstrates a strong level of commitment. Without a hunger to pursue other goals in life, he is not likely to want to commit to a relationship with you. A man like this has no desire to better himself or pursue a mate for his future. If he lacks the motivation to engage in anything that could better himself commitment is the last thing on this man’s mind. Also, think about whether or not you want to be in a relationship with a man who lacks any goals. If you’re truly honest with yourself, you don’t!
4He is Always Defensive
Communicating openly is an important factor to having a serious relationship. A guy will actively listen to you and actually welcome the opportunity to talk about your time together if he’s interested in a lasting relationship. If a guy is always getting defensive when you express talking about your relationship, he is not going to commit to a long-lasting relationship. You may end up majorly resenting him. A guy who is going to put forth the effort and time into your relationship will listen to you and be interested in the things you have to say. When a guy is always defensive a level of insecurity and close-mindedness is demonstrated and those qualities do not lead to a committed relationship. Also, being defensive is his way of manipulating the situation so talks of being exclusive are shut down pretty quickly. This tactic has probably worked for him in the past so he’ll continue using it as long as he can get away with it.
3He’s All About Romance
When a guy is all about the process or thought of falling in love, it can be a warning sign he does not truly desire a relationship. He may enjoy the flirtations, first dates, and being able to talk about his life to someone new. While this may excite you at first it’s a clear indication that he’s not going to stay around for long. After the initial romantic stage has passed and it’s time to get down to the commitment of a relationship, he begins to give off a sense of boredom. The talk of commitment will not spark his interest as much as the thrill of romance. If he has a history of one or two month relationships, it could be a sign he is a romance junkie and not pursuing a serious relationship. Men who find dating countless girls to be a thrilling experience are not the type that will do well in a long-lasting relationship.
2Life is Peachy
If a man is focused on hobbies, friends, and having a lot of time to himself, he probably does intend to have room for a serious relationship in his life. When he expresses how happy he already is with his life, chances are he does not want a committed relationship.Carving out time to get to know you and preserving a committed relationship will not be one of the most important priorities for him because he’s content with where he is. If he is not putting you before his hobbies and friends, you are not going to be a central part of his life. Men who love more than a reasonable amount of freedom will not be able to stay around long enough to build any type of a relationship, especially not a lasting one. Why would he want to tamper with the wonderful life he’s created for himself by allowing a serious relationship to get in the way? He won’t and you’ll save yourself such misery once you come to terms with this.
1He Does Not Introduce You to His Family
The best way to know he will never be ready for a relationship is if he does not introduce you to his family. Being in a relationship is all about bringing families together and getting to know the dynamics of the most important people already in his and your lives. There definitely needs to be talk about meeting his family, who should know you exist. When he changes the subject each time meeting his family is mentioned, this is a sign he does not intend to introduce you to them. Keeping you away from his family means he does not intend a future for the two of you. Introducing you to his family lets you know he is invested in your future together. If you’ve been together for months and his family doesn’t know anything about you he is happy keeping things that way. If a man was truly happy with having you in his life everyone in his family would know of you and there would be plans to meet your future in-laws.
Recognizing the signs, he is never going to be ready for a relationship at the start is one of the best things you can do before investing your time. Do not let yourself get too involved in a relationship that does not lead to a future you desire.