We have all met the desperate guy. He falls right in there with the creepy stalker guy and the passive aggressive loser. That’s not to say that all desperate men are bad guys, but that they have the potential to become bad guys if they don’t start working on themselves and improving their self-esteem.
Are desperate guys worth trying out? Only if you feel deep down inside that the desperate guy is just a nice guy who is socially awkward. Even then, prepare yourself mentally for the possibility of failure because desperate guys usually don’t know a good woman when they see one.
It is easy to admit that none of us are perfect specimens of human beings, but it is just as easy to fall prey to a guy who thinks that you are just as good as any other woman and he will take any woman who will have him. And that is the jist of it. You aren’t special or unique to a desperate guy. You are just a woman who will put up with him for the time being. He knows the relationship won’t last and he makes zero real commitments towards a positive future with you.
15Friends As Many Women As Possible
Have you ever met a guy that seems to collect women? His phone is usually packed with the names and phone numbers of women, many of whom he has only met once and has probably never called. His Facebook is also probably loaded with hundreds of women. I’m not talking about one or two hundred, but well over 400 women and their beautiful faces.
Men that collect women are super insecure and incredibly desperate for love. In fact, they are so desperate that they usually don’t see a potential mate when she is standing right in front of them. Aside from being desperate, they are also usually unfaithful. The grass is always greener on the other side and they would rather cheat on the women they have than risk losing out on what they think is “real” love.
Stay clear of the women collectors. They will grab hold of any woman they can and then let her go just as quickly.
By no standards, I mean he will date anything. He is a guy with no self-esteem who will date any woman who will say yes. It doesn’t matter if she is a mean person and it doesn’t matter if she has poor hygiene. He doesn’t care as long as he is getting some.
I know a young guy like this. He started dating a real “free spirit.” His new girlfriend was on the low end of the hygiene category and she was sexually inappropriate all the time. He clung to her because he felt he couldn’t get anything better. Then she cheated on him and his standards fell even lower for the next girlfriend.
This young guy is desperate and, as a woman, I would say that anyone who dares to date him had better be prepared for his ugly past. His exes follow him around like a bad smell and would cause problems for any nice girl he might convince to date him.
13Always Available For The Ladies
Nice guys are great. They will make time for you when they are able, but it is not at the expense of their family or their other obligations. Desperate men, however, are always available. If they already had plans, they will dump those plans for you, or any unrelated woman, just to get a chance with you. They are super accommodating and they can make you feel special, but don’t be fooled.
Not only is this guy desperate, but he will expect you to drop everything for him, too. If you don’t, he will get angry with you and may even start to stalk and harass you.
You want a guy who can say no to you and a guy who can accept a no from you. Being overly accommodating is a sure sign of danger up ahead and it is best to avoid it altogether by establishing distance between you and Mr. Always There.
12Makes Posts Looking For Dates
I like to delete these characters from my Facebook account right away because all they are looking for is a quick and easy hookup to get their noodle wet.
The online hookup guy will friend request as many women as he possibly can. After he has made a connection with a bunch of them, he will start liking everything they post and he will go wild over all their profile pictures. Next, he will start to portray himself as this great hangout guy until, finally, he will start asking his general audience, “Hey, who wants to go hang out tonight at such and such a place?” If he has played his cards right, he will get a few responses.
Out of the responses he gets, he will privately message each woman to determine which one is serious and who he can get together with at a later date. He will take any action he can get.
11He Sends Super Long, Emotional Messages
You know this type of guy. You just accepted his friend request on Facebook and he immediately starts sending you messages. At first he is asking questions about you, but then he switches gears and starts sending you these long, emotional messages. Somehow this total stranger has latched himself onto you and thinks you are his long lost soul mate. What is even worse is that you have this funny feeling that he is cutting and pasting these long posts from somewhere else. Maybe some of it is part of a song? Or maybe he has written these posts for other women and he is just going through the motions of attracting another woman with the same batch of overly emotional words?
It doesn’t take you long to sense all the red flags coming up and you eventually delete and block him. The guy is not only desperate, but he also has some major issues he needs to address on his own.
10Buys Gifts As Soon As He Meets Someone
You went on a date last night with someone new. He seems like a really nice, quiet guy and so when you received a bouquet of flowers that morning, you weren’t surprised. You get that he is being super nice and trying to impress you. You call him up and thank him for the beautiful flowers. You also agree to go to the street market with him tomorrow.
Tomorrow arrives and, again, you had a great time. The only thing is he bought you a bunch of stuff and it made you feel a bit awkward. The two of you are just getting to know each other and yet you feel as though he is trying to buy your love. That is not what you want in a relationship. You call him up and explain to him how you feel.
Lo and behold, he does it again the next time the two of you go out. Now it is getting creepy and you firmly believe that this guy is trying to buy you. You back off and eventually you stop answering his phone calls.
9After You Say No, He Asks About Your Friends
You are out skiing with your college friends and this guy, all bundled up, walks up to you and asks if you would like to go join him in the lounge for a coffee or hot cocoa. You have never seen him before, as far as you can tell, and it is kind of creepy that he is asking you for a hot drink date while you are both bundled up in layers.
You tell him no, but then he nods towards your friends. “Any of them single?” he asks you. You automatically raise an eyebrow and instinctively tell him that everyone in your party has a boyfriend. He backs off and, as you watch him, you see him approach another woman.
You did the right thing. The guy was desperate and because he asked you about your friends, he is desperate to be with anyone. You know you deserve someone who wants only you, so you head back over to your friends and enjoy the rest of your vacation.
8He Shows Up At Your House Unannounced
It is a lazy Sunday afternoon and you just finished doing some cleaning. It is now time for you to kick back on the sofa and catch up on reading. No sooner do you open your book than someone knocks on your apartment door. You set the book down and look through the peephole. It’s some guy.
“Who is it?” you ask through the door. “It’s Roger,” he answers. Who is Roger?
In a few more minutes you learn that you had met Roger at a company picnic about two weeks ago, but you don’t remember ever telling him to just stop on over.
Eventually you open the door to talk to Roger face to face. He is interested in getting together with you. He didn’t know your number so he asked a mutual friend where you lived. For some unknown reason, he thought stopping by unannounced was a great idea.
The guy is obviously desperate to hook up with someone and, so sorry, but it won’t be you.
7Chick Check Walkthrough
You don’t even have to interact with a guy to figure out whether or not he is desperate. All you have to do is watch his behavior.
In the night clubs, you can spot the desperate guy way easily. He is always the one who will stroll through the night club, doing a head count on available women. If he likes his odds, he will stay and hang out with his guy friends while checking out every woman in the place from head to toe. After he gets comfortable and has a drink or two, he will start approaching women, one at a time, and receive rejection after rejection. Let’s be serious. What kind of woman wants to get with a guy who is desperate enough to get with any woman?
When you see this type of desperate guy lurking about, do yourself a favor and avoid all eye contact with him.
6Has A Hard Time With You Having Other Plans
This guy you just met calls you out of the blue and asks if you want to hang out this afternoon. You tell him that you can’t because, honestly, you made plans to spend the day with your sister and niece.
He doesn’t take it well and asks if you could cancel and spend time with him instead. What? What kind of guy would want to take away your time with your family? You tell him that is not going to happen.
Then he asks you a real doozy, “Do you think I could hang out with you and your sister? Is she single?” Uh… What?
Desperate men will try anything to weasel their way into your life or the life of one of your friends or family members. They don’t really care who it is they are hanging out with, as long as the other person is female and available.
5Tells You You’re The Greatest Girl He’s Ever Met
“Well, now, sweetheart. Aren’t you just the sweetest girl I’ve ever met?” You roll your eyes. First off, you know you can be the meanest queen bee on the planet and, second, you certainly are not a “girl.”
Some men think that flattery will get them everywhere. While it is true that a flattering comment here and there makes you feel great, but sugary talk just isn’t your thing. It should immediately set off the red flags when a guy suddenly tells you that you are the most amazing woman he has ever met, and he has only known you for ten minutes. He sounds desperate and, more than likely, says this to any woman who will tolerate him for those full ten minutes.
He has got a bad case of low self-esteem and is obviously desperate to please you or any other woman who he thinks he might have a chance with.
4Begs You To Give Him A Chance
You are just walking through the bar to get to your seat in the restaurant area when a guy comes up to you. He starts hitting on you pretty hard, but you just are not interested. Besides, it is starting to get late and you want to finish up this meal with your work friends and get home.
Everything you say to Mr. Lonely just seems to encourage him to hit on you even more. Finally, you let out a firm “no.” He doesn’t miss a beat and comes back with, “Oh, come on, baby. Just give me one chance. Look at me. I’m a pretty good looking guy, don’t you think?”
Almost every woman on the planet has faced this type of desperate dater. The only thing you can do is get away from him as quickly as possible. Never let him think you are interested in him and never give him your phone number.
3Agrees With Everything You Say
It is kind of nice when someone agrees with what you believe and some guys know this. These desperate critters will agree with absolutely everything you say, no matter how wild or controversial. Why? Because they know that agreeing with you may gain them points in the dating game. They are desperate to date anyone, no matter how whacked they are, and will agree to just about every wild theory you have.
“Yes men” and men who don’t voice their real feelings make lousy dates. For one thing, it gets boring real fast when you have someone who agrees with everything you say. Second, you may be saying things that go against his moral code. He may agree with you on the surface, but he will soon harbor resentment against you and any relationship based on lies and hurt will fall apart.
Don’t fall for a guy who agrees totally with you. It is not a real relationship and it simply won’t last.
2Talks About Settling Down On The First Date
We have all heard of the women who start talking about marriage and babies on the first date, but there are plenty of desperate men who do the same thing. For example, you agree to go on a blind date with Henry. Henry just happens to be your friend’s boyfriend’s best friend. Henry and the boyfriend think that a double date would be fun. You say yes and have a fairly nice evening at the restaurant.
Afterwards, Henry walks you out to your car. He starts talking non-stop about your future together. He talks about how great your work schedules are and all the time the two of you will be able to spend together and who is going to move into whose apartment.
It is way too much too fast. You aren’t ready to settle down and you really don’t even know that much about Henry. You quickly say goodbye when you reach your car and hurry in behind your wheel. You can’t get away from Henry fast enough.
1Plays The Pity Me Game
I don’t know about you, but I hate the “pity me” game some people play. When it comes to attracting women, there are some truly desperate guys who will lay the “pity me” act on thick. These critters are hoping that you will take pity on them so that they can get into your life.
For example, there is a guy named Fred where you work. Everyday he is talking about how his mom or grandma died, then his dog died, and his goldfish committed suicide by jumping out of the tank. Nobody loves Fred and he is down on himself each and every moment of his life. If only he had a great woman to turn his life around. Then he would give her all he had, give her the world, and treat her like a queen. Yeah right.
Don’t date someone out of pity. If you really feel that you should help Fred out, get him a self help book or refer him to a therapist.