15 Signs You’re Settling In A Relationship

We all know that no relationship is perfect. Even the ones that seem as if they are. But that doesn’t mean that you should settle for a mediocre romance. Maybe you’ve convinced yourself that staying with him is better than being alone. Or maybe you really love his family. And maybe it’s a little more complicated than that. Perhaps he’s actually amazing. He truly loves you, treats you like a queen, and he would do anything for you. But that spark just isn’t there.

Unfortunately, that spark isn’t something you can use the old “fake it till you make it” slogan with. The fact is that if you’re in a loveless relationship or simply unhappy, you’re settling for less than you deserve. Even if he is perfect, if you aren’t feeling it then that isn’t something you can fake. You can’t feel guilty for something you feel or don’t feel, you need to make yourself happy. And while no prince charming is going to ride up on his white horse and sweep you off to his castle. You can still write your fairy tale with your own prince charming. But not if you’re still hanging onto that dead relationship.

15You Aren’t Happy To See Him

The butterflies died a long time ago. Which let’s face it, is pretty common after you’ve been in a relationship for a while. But when you think about spending time with him, it feels more like a chore then how it should feel. Once you get to the point that you stop enjoying the time you get to spend with him it becomes obvious that you’re over him. And by staying with him you’re only settling. Seriously, stop trying to fool yourself. Wouldn’t you rather be in a relationship where the very thought of seeing him brings a smile to your face? Of course you would! And honestly so would he. You’re not doing either of you a favor by remaining coupled up to someone you don’t even look forward to seeing. And he probably feels it too. You both deserve to be in a happy relationship.

14He Disrespects You

Every relationship should be built on mutual trust and respect. If it’s a common occurrence for him to put you down then you need to run not walk right out of that relationship. You should be able to trust that your partner has your back, not assume that he’s talking behind it. No one wants to feel like a doormat. So why would you settle for a relationship where you’re getting walked on? You shouldn’t. When you’re partner is disrespectful after awhile it gets easier to ignore it. You get to a point that it becomes normal and you can look past it. But that sort of negative behavior should never go unnoticed. You see, a disrespectful partner will eventually bring you down. You’ll start to believe the things they say about you. After all, if they say it all the time it must be true right? Wrong. You should never get too comfortable in a bad relationship.

13You Only Stay Because You Don’t Want To Be Alone

You know you aren’t in love with him anymore. But you can’t help but feel like being with him is better than being alone. After all, if you stick with him you know you always have a date. And let’s face it, no one wants to go to Applebee’s alone, right? Look I get it, sometimes just having someone there can feel better than the loneliness that can come from being single. Especially if you’ve been single for a long time. But it’s just not worth it. It’s not worth the effort of you putting time and energy into a relationship that your heart isn’t even in. And if you continue to settle for the relationship, you’ll never be a able to find that person you dream of being with. And trust me that should be more terrifying than being alone. Let yourself be happy and give yourself something that you both deserve, a chance to be happy.

12You Make Excuses

Making excuses has become second nature for you. In fact, you now make excuses for everything. You make excuses for why you should stay. You make excuses for his behavior. You even make excuses for why you can’t end it. You’re only lying to yourself. In fact, you’re probably making excuses as too why this shouldn’t be on the list. But if you were in a happy relationship you wouldn’t need to keep coming up with lame excuses. You’d be content with your relationship and happy with your partner. Which is exactly how a good relationship should make you feel. You should have an easy time pinpointing the great things about the relationship. If you’re having a hard time naming the positive aspects and instead have to put a spin on the negative. You can no longer simply look past the fact that your relationship is a dead end.

11You Feel Relieved When Plans Are Canceled

If you’re being honest with yourself, you didn’t want to go anyway. So when you got the call that he couldn’t make it, you felt a sense of relief. Don’t feel bad. Sadly it’s a common occurrence in many relationships. Well, at least it is when you’re settling in a relationship. Once you get to this point, it’s time to do yourself a favor and call it quits. You should be with someone who is a priority to you. Not someone you would rather blow off because cleaning the bathroom seems more enjoyable than spending time with them. Look, we get it, things aren’t always going to be smooth sailing in any relationship and sometimes things are going to get hard. But when you love someone, no matter how irritated you may be with him you are still going to want to see him when the opportunity arrives. You’ll want to put in the work required to make the relationship a success.

10You Daydream About Being With Someone Else

Who doesn’t daydream from time to time? It helps pass the time when things get boring and it’s sort of fun to get sucked into your imagination and forget reality on occasion. But sorry ladies, this one should be self explanatory. If you spend more time thinking about being with someone other than your partner there’s something wrong in your relationship. But I’m going to go ahead and give you the benefit of a doubt here. After all, we’re all guilty of letting our imagination run wild and we find our thoughts trailing off as we day dream. But it can also be a problem. Because that dream man of yours, your imaginary Mr. Right, is real. And if you stay in your dead relationship you’ll never even have the opportunity to meet him. Because it is a little hard to meet Mr. Right when you’re currently dating Mr. Wrong.

9You’re Embarrassed By Them

The thought of being seen in public with him is enough to make your skin crawl. I know it sounds harsh. But it’s true right. The very thought of bumping into an old friend when you’re with him is terrifying at best. So much so that you have come up with an “out.” You’ve carefully crafted the perfect excuse as to why you can’t stay long to chit chat. But even with your perfect excuse, you can’t risk it. What if he opens up that big mouth of his and days something that completely humiliates you. Oh the horror. But just in case your “out” doesn’t work, you also have your back up. Because in the off chance that you can’t get away, you know you can keep the attention on you. All you have to do is crank up the charm and deliver an award winning performance that depicts a picture perfect relationship. Now if you could just do something about his wardrobe. Can you say total fashion fail anyone?

8You Have Nothing In Common

Can we all get the saying “opposites attract” out of our vocabulary already? Because while it is a true a statement, it doesn’t mean that dating your opposite is a good idea. In fact, using the term “opposites attract” is really nothing more than an excuse to make a bad relationship decision. And why would a smart girl like you want to do something like that? A relationship can’t thrive unless you share common interests with your partner. You need to have things you enjoy doing together in order to keep that spark alive. Now, I’m not saying you have to do everything together. Because honestly that’s a bad idea. You do need to have some space and personal hobbies. Even having just a few hobbies that you and your guy enjoy doing together is all it takes to give you a fighting chance at keeping the love alive.

7You Can’t Come Up With Anything You Like About Him

Seriously, there’s nothing. Because there’s not one thing you enjoy about the guy anymore. The things you liked about him at the beginning of the relationship are long forgotten and now everything he does makes you want to scream. You find yourself rolling your eyes on a daily basis. And It’s now to the point that you’ve got your eye roll technique down to an art form. Even the usual things people say they like about their significant other can’t be applied to you. You hate his sense of humor. His hair is a nightmare. His attitude makes you want to punch him in the face every time you’re around him. And it’s to the point that you can’t even sit down at dinner with him because watching him eat makes you want to gag. Try as you might, you just can’t come up with any positive attributes you like about him.

6The Thought Of Marrying Him Is Your Worst Nightmare

Most women daydream about their guy popping the question. But for you it’s more like a nightmare. The very thought of him getting down on one knee and asking you to be his wife is fear invoking at best. You can’t handle the thought of being the Mrs to his Mr. And you panic every time he takes you to a romantic spot because you’re terrified that it could be the moment he proposes. He can’t even stop to tie his shoe without you feeling the urge to run as far away as you possibly can.

If the thought of him proposing is that horrifying, why would you want to risk the chances of it happening by staying with him? Every girl should have the chance to marry the man of their dreams. Unfortunately you can’t do that if you’re not willing to chase your own happiness.

5You Don’t Feel A Connection With Him

Any warm and fuzzy feelings you might have previously felt have long gone out the window. You can’t even remember the last time you felt a connection with him. In fact when you think about it, you’re not even sure if there was a connection there to begin with. You don’t need to be able to finish each other’s sentences or be able to read his mind to have a strong connection with him. But when you’re sitting beside him, you shouldn’t feel alone or like you’re sitting next to a complete stranger. You need to feel comfortable with your partner. When you’re with him you should feel a sense of calmness. You should be with someone who just gets you. Having a connection will keep you together through the hard times. It’s the invisible bond between two people that make being in a relationship worthwhile and without it… well, what’s the point?

4You Gave Up Looking Good For Him

Do you remember when you would spend hours getting ready before you would see him? Yeah, neither does he. The moment you mentally checked out of the relationship was the moment you stopped caring about how he seen you. You couldn’t care less if you look good for him. Because you don’t care if he thinks you look good or not. In fact, you are more concerned about how a stranger at the grocery store sees you than you are if he thinks you’re beautiful. If he doesn’t like how you look, too bad right. Now as far as that that cute neighbor of yours goes, he’s worth making sure your hair and makeup are on point for. After all you can’t risk running into him at the mailbox while you’re looking like a hot mess now can you? Of course not! Maybe ending your current relationship and starting over with that cutie wouldn’t be such a terrible idea…

3You Think About Cheating

You can’t help but toy with the idea of cheating on your guy with that cutie down the hall. After all, it would be so easy wouldn’t it. And there’s no way your guy could possibly find out about it. But do you really want to risk it? Even if the notion of cheating is nothing more than a mere fantasy, if it’s on your mind often, you probably need to end the relationship. You’re not happy and you know it. Cheating is a way that people use to try to find that little something that they’re missing from their current relationship. But if you aren’t able to find it with your partner then it’s time to move on. Cheating hurts. And it hurts everyone involved. If you would rather be with the person you are wanting to cheat with, then you need to break it off and see where it goes with the new person.

2You Wish He’d Break Up With You

No one wants the guilt that accompanies breaking someone’s heart. But unfortunately, sometimes it has to happen because happiness in any relationship is never a guarantee. But when you start dating someone new it’s a risk that’s worth taking. So if you are spending the time you have with him hoping he will take the plunge and end it, you’re only prolonging the inevitable. Plus to be totally honest, isn’t it a lot of work trying to make someone dislike you. Seriously, stop waiting for him to end it and just do it yourself. Because it is way easier to cut it off and move on then to keep trying to push him away so that he’ll do it. I hate to say it but relationships do take some work. And if the person you’re with isn’t worth the effort, you need to go find someone who is. Why settle for less than you deserve?

1You Flirt With Men As If You’re Single

Flirting is harmless for the most part right? After all, it gets you that extra shot of espresso from that cute barista at Starbucks. But if you’re flirting is bordering on dangerous territory, you may be putting yourself in a undesired position. If you had the choice between staying with your current beau or giving it a shot with your hot coworker who has the killer smile, who would you choose? If you had to really think about it and still chose you current boyfriend, then you most likely chose him out of guilt. But if you choose the new guy outright, then it’s still the same result. You need to say buh bye to Mr Wrong and start looking for Mr Right. If you don’t, you’re always going to be settling and nothing will ever change until the situation does. And if you’re unhappy with your partner, do you really want to spend the rest of your life with him? Nope, so get out there and live the love story you’ve always wanted.

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