In this day and age, texting is something we all do to communicate. In fact, as far as millennials go, most of us prefer texting to speaking on the phone! Texting allows us to think things though before blurting them out, and it’s a tangible reminder of past interactions (for better or for worse). With so many dating apps on the market, texting has become one of the platforms we use for flirting, or establishing enough of a connection to get something started.
Because of all that, it’s important that we learn how to text well, since many of us know that there are some people we just can’t STAND to talk to, even via text. When it comes to bae, it’s better to go in with a clear idea of what kind of texting habits we may have that turn him off and what he actually loves!
Learning what he loves is important, but learning what he dislikes may be even more vital information. While it all depends on personal preferences, some things are pretty much universal truths when it comes to the texting behaviors that make him want to unfollow us.
Texting is useful for when we want to communicate without dealing with all the face-to-face stuff, but it’s important to learn how to text RIGHT.
He’ll Unfollow Her If She Does This:
20Faking Accidental Messages
We think we’re being smooth when we send a carefully written text to our crush or the guy we’re casually seeing. Then, oops! We send a follow-up text saying we definitely didn’t mean to send that to him! We would never be so bold or so flirty in such an obvious way!
Faking accidental messages is our way of letting him know that we’re so in demand we have multiple men on the go competing for our affection, and he’s just one of them. The thing is, guys see right through this sad attempt at starting a conversation and they’re just not here for it.
19Using All Caps
Like our grandma who doesn’t know how to use social media and accidentally posts Google questions in the status bar of her FB, using all caps is the kind of technical faux pas that guys just aren’t into.
Using all caps in a message is the text equivalent of shouting at him and it makes everything sound like we’re demanding an answer.
Capital letters are an aggressive form of communication and definitely not something a dude wants to look at when he’s scrolling through his phone. Make sure you aren’t typing in all caps so you can have a conversation at a normal (visual) volume.
18Keeping Tabs On Him
Cell phones should not be some kind of lifeline tethering a couple together. They should be a source of communication but not a way to keep tabs on your partner. Guys don’t want to be checked up on. Commenting on his read receipts or demanding an answer as to why he hasn’t responded to your last message is controlling behavior. You wouldn’t put up with the same kind of behavior from him, would you?
Giving a guy space and letting him come to you allows you both some independence in a relationship, and it’s healthy.
17Texting When He’s Busy
We all have jobs or school or some other obligations that take us away from our phones. Sure, we may be tied to them most of the time, aimlessly scrolling through social media or taking selfies, but not everyone wants to feel like they’re on call all the time.
Dudes need their partners to know that when they’re at work, they’re at work. If they can, they’ll message us throughout the day, but their bosses probably won’t be too keen on them being glued to their phones.
Respecting his time away from us is important, and unless we have some emergency, we shouldn’t get all bothered about being left on read for a few hours.
16Using Terrible Grammar
Call it a pet peeve or a turn-off, but bad grammar is just not an appealing trait, especially when it comes to texting. Now, we’re not saying that perfect grammar and punctuation has to be used – unless you’re involved with an English major, in which case that may be exactly what he’s looking for – but certain obvious typos should be avoided. Knowing the proper “your” to use is just basic English.
Too much Internet slang and text speak can be a big turn-off for a guy, especially if he’s older, and it can be an inaccurate reflection of your intelligence and the level of care you put into communicating.
15Ignoring His Compliments
Unlike the random dude who messaged you on Tinder saying you were gorgeous only to retract his statement when you didn’t reply, this is a guy you’re actually into, right? When this guy pays you a compliment, it’s just common courtesy to thank him or acknowledge the remark in some way.
Complimenting someone – even via text – is a bit of a vulnerable move, especially when the guy is laying a foundation for a relationship. He can get bummed out if you ignore his compliment, and even see it as a sign of insecurity if you deflect it or pretend he never said anything at all.
14Texting Too Much
Is it any wonder that guys dislike it when a girl texts them too much? Doesn’t everyone dislike it when someone texts them too much? Over-texting is needy. By doing it, we’re constantly trying to get his attention and demanding that he respond to us and be available to us at all times.
Giant blocks of text or multiple text messages – especially when the conversation is better suited to being in person or at least over the phone – mean that we’re making ourselves too easy to catch. Some mystery and playing hard to get is good, especially in the early stages of a relationship, because it leaves the guy wanting more.
13Initiating Boring Conversations
Ugh, this is like the texting equivalent of pulling teeth or making awkward small talk with boring people you don’t know at a party. This isn’t OTT or abnormal behavior, but the dude will definitely take it as a red flag that this is all we can offer on dates.
When our conversation topics via text are limited to the weather or our dentist appointment or some dull hobby that he has zero interest in, he’s not exactly going to be itching to get us in person to see if we have more exciting pearls of wisdom to offer him.
12Responding With One Word
Getting a one-word text is knowledge that you’re in the doghouse, so why do we do it to guys? It’s a passive-aggressive way of letting our man know that we’re upset about something, so it shouldn’t surprise us that he dislikes it as much as we do.
Words like “cool,” “fine,” or the dreaded “k” may as well be finished with a period for all the finality they offer. There is no opening for further discussion and we’ve made it very clear where we stand on the issue. Guys would rather we just say what’s on our mind instead of stressing them out with monosyllables.
11Double- Or Triple-Texting
Like texting too much, double- or triple-texting is often read as a sign of insecurity. Sure, we may have come from a place with no cell service to somewhere with strong WiFi signals (which could explain an accidental multiple message), but it’s unlikely.
More often than not, when we opt to send the same message a few times, it’s because we’re demanding an answer from him – and possibly he isn’t able to give one. It’s controlling and made worse with the addition of multiple question marks. It’s enough to make him want to toss his phone altogether.
10Using Too Many Emojis
No one likes to play guessing games when it comes to their text messages. After all, texting is supposed to make communication easier, right? That’s why it’s so annoying when the person we’re texting is using a bunch of emojis rather than actual words to get their message across.
Having to decipher a stream of little pictures is exhausting and when we use too many emojis, it makes us look juvenile. Why are we resorting to a text of a dolphin, birthday cake, and a dancing lady and expecting some kind of response from the guy? Too many emojis instead of actual sentences are annoying and a major turn-off.
9Texting While Out With The Girls
This texting behavior may depend on the guy in question (just like all of these habits, as a matter of fact), but as a general rule, men don’t like women who turn to their phone after a few too many. A little tipsy texting can be cute – it means we’re thinking about him and feeling a little flirty or playful.
However, if we start to get sloppy or decide that messaging him TMI is a good idea, whatever was once endearing starts to become pretty irritating.
You don’t want to look like the kind of drama queen or party girl who can’t help herself after a few glasses of red, so put the phone away just in case!
8Starting Deep Conversations
Some conversations just aren’t meant for text. For all its benefits, texting doesn’t have the advantages of tone, expression, or emotion. Certain topics can get lost in translation when it comes to text, which is why guys generally aren’t fans of women who decide texting is the best way to talk about deep things.
There’s no message that’s quite as anxiety-inducing as “We need to talk,” but that’s also what he’s feeling when we try and get all philosophical on him via text. Save the intellectual convos for an in-person discussion and keep your texts to the point or light and breezy to keep his interest.
We may think that playing hard to get is the best way to get a guy to notice us. We let minutes, hours, or even days go by before we respond to him. To us, this break in communication signifies our own very full, busy lives. We’re far too in-demand and important to respond to every little message we get, right?
Well, guys actually aren’t fans of this behavior. Nowadays, everyone has their phone on them 24/7, so failing to respond to a text for an extended period of time tells him we’re not interested – so he’s not going to waste his time. Give him the common courtesy of replying when the conversation warrants it.
He hasn’t texted us in a few hours and we’re freaking out. We turn our read receipts on to keep better tabs on him. We send him multiple messages asking why he hasn’t responded. We call him. We leave voicemails. We nag him because we think he’s with someone else, doing something else. He’s not into us anymore and we’re clinging to whatever shred of interest he once had in us, hoping and praying he’ll get back to us.
Getting paranoid – via text or otherwise – is the biggest texting habit he dislikes. It signifies our lack of trust in him and whatever relationship we have, which is what relationships need to be successful.
5Texts Asking For His Advice
Dudes like to feel needed. Maybe it’s part of their caveman brain, but they like having the opportunity to educate and impart wisdom. Maybe that wisdom takes the form of telling us how to fix something around the house or where that great restaurant was that they mentioned a little while ago, but whatever the advice or insight is, they’re more than happy to give it.
This text has a purpose, instead of being part of a boring conversation. We’ve asked him a question, he can give us the answer, we’ll take his advice, and maybe there’ll be a follow-up text in which we let him know how it went. Bam! Instant connection.
What person doesn’t want to be complimented by someone they’re into? While women are usually the recipients of complimentary remarks, guys dig them too, and they don’t hear them often enough.
Letting your guy (or the guy you’re crushing on) know that his hair looks good today or he has great taste in music can make him feel good about himself. Compliments don’t have to be limited to his appearance or likes. If a guy puts in a little extra effort to make your life better, it doesn’t hurt to tell him that his work hasn’t gone unnoticed.
3Inviting Him Over
Any guy who’s into us will love receiving a text inviting him over to our place. It’s attractive when a woman makes the first move and he doesn’t have to feel awkward for hoping for something more. This text takes all the guesswork out of the relationship!
Inviting him over for dinner is his green light that we’re interested. He can be a little flirty with us. This type of text cuts to the chase and, while some cat-and-mouse games can be fun for a little while, it’s always nice knowing that he’s won the game.
2Saying ‘Good Night’ Or ‘Good Morning’
Aww, who doesn’t love to get these messages? If we’re in a relationship or even just casually seeing someone, it’s cute and thoughtful to send the guy a text first thing in the morning, or just before bedtime, that lets him know he’s on our mind.
We don’t give men enough credit for being soft-hearted or liking a little romance in their lives! The truth is, any dude would love to get a “Good morning” or “Goodnight” text from the girl he’s into, just as we would like to receive those texts from him.
1Flirting Via Text
However we flirt via text, dudes dig it. Guys love it when they open their messages and instead of boring alerts or emails they see something a little more fun and flirty from us!
Text-flirting is something everyone does these days, especially if they’re away from their SOs. It keeps the spark alive and makes things a lot more fun to look forward to. If we’re not seeing our guy until the evening, sending something a little flirty and playful can build anticipation. He’ll be so excited to see us for our date!