The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence — when we’re in a relationship, we miss being single, and when we’re single, we miss being in a relationship. It’s particularly true when you just leave a relationship. Everything you miss about relationships becomes magnified — the lazy Sundays in bed, constant nookie whenever you want, always having a massage partner, being able to text with someone all day every day, and the comfort, security, and companionship that comes along with having a romantic partner and someone to share the best and worst parts of your day with. To the extent that it can be pretty depressing and lonely when you first leave a relationship because all you can think about is the amazing parts of being a couple. Granted it’s a good relationship, being in a relationship is pretty amazing and leads to some of the most blissed out and happiest moments of your life.
So, to bring to light some of the best parts of being in a relationship and completely depress people who just got out of something recently even more than they probably already are, here’s a roundup of 15 things you miss the most when a relationship ends.
Of course, first we must state the obvious! One of the best parts about being in a committed, romantic relationship is that you can get laid pretty much anytime you want. Not only that, but you get to have intimacy with someone you’re madly in love with, and someone you probably have really good nookie with. How could you not miss that? When in a relationship, you seem to forget about the whole idea of a sex slump or drought that most single people have to deal with at some point. Also, sex in a relationship is often better than sex when you’re single because you’re more uninhibited and comfortable with the person, which means there is more freedom for experimentation. Sex when you’re single can often be awkward, hollow, and meaningless, while sex in a relationship allows you to get your rocks off and not feel completely empty and unsatisfied when it’s all over and done with. So, for newly single people, the loss of constant sex with someone you really care about is actually one of the most detrimental parts about going through a breakup.
14Someone To Text With All The Time
You know, sometimes you don’t even miss being in a relationship, or actually want to be in a relationship, except for the part about having someone to text with all the time. That is actually one of the best parts about seeing someone or being in a relationship. You have a 24/7 texting banter partner to vent and laugh about various events that take place during the day, someone to talk about how much work is driving you crazy, someone to brag about the seriously long jog you just went for, and simply someone to make you feel just a little bit less lonely. When we’re in a relationship we never fully appreciate the fact that somebody is always texting us and wondering what we’re doing. One of the most depressing parts about being newly single is checking your phone after several hours, only to find out that nobody has texted you. Yeah, nobody cares about you anymore. It can even get so bad that you begin texting yourself just so you can pretend to feel like you’re important.
13Someone To Send Quotes And Random YouTube Videos To
When you start catching yourself sending someone inspirational quotes and funny YouTube videos in a new relationship is the moment you realize that this could actually be something. But isn’t it awesome to have someone that will find the same weird and stupid things you come across on social media entertaining also? Sharing things you find on social media is legitimately one of the best parts about being in a relationship — particularly if that person likes the same things as you (comedy, self-development etc.) then it can be fun to have someone to share and receive things with throughout your day. Naturally, when a relationship ends there is going to be a big void in your world of texting and social media sharing. The best way for newly single people to deal with this missing piece from their life is to nominate a like-minded failsafe friend that can fill in as their go-to social media sharing person for the duration of the period until they starting seeing someone new. This is a necessary precaution to take to make sure you begin moving on and don’t fall back into old patterns and start sending your ex random videos and quotes again.
12Feeling Loved And Supported
Ahhhh to feel loved and supported at all times. Isn’t it just the best? The emotional support and security you feel while in a relationship is seriously one of the nicest parts of being part of a couple. While you’re in a relationship, your world feels whole and secure because there is someone who has your back at all times. It gives you confidence to go out into the world and do your thing — because at the end of the day — there is someone that’s going to be there to hold you if it all falls apart. But when you are newly single, the world can suddenly become pretty lonely and seem like it’s just you against the world at all times. It’s definitely an adjustment for someone just out of a relationship who’s used to having that support around them. While it’s nice to have your freedom back and be on your own favourite schedule at all times, you’re still going to miss that feeling of love, support, and safety that being in a relationship brings you.
11There Is Always Someone To Hang Out With
When you’re in a relationship, you almost always have someone to hang out with. That’s because you spend a considerable amount of time with your SO, and not only that, but you are probably pretty like-minded and have a lot of similar interests, which makes hanging out even easier and more enjoyable than a lot of your closest friends. You have someone to go to the movies with, workout with, grocery shop, grab food, do an activity, or simply laze around and doing nothing with. But when you’re newly single, you start to do things by yourself much more often. And let’s face it, once you get a little bit older, you don’t see your friends as often as before now that everyone’s busy with careers and other adult priorities, as well as their own relationships. While it’s nice to reclaim your independence for a while, it’s hard not to miss the fact that being in a relationship means you can hang out with one of your favourite people on the planet pretty much anytime you want.
10Someone To Talk Sh*t About Other People With
One of the best things about being in a relationship is that you have a safety net person to complain about everything and everyone in your life. Your SO has your back and won’t throw you under the bus, so you have complete free reign to let out all the sh*t you really think about other people behind their back. If someone pisses you off or you need to vent about one of your friends, your SO is always there to listen to you and probably agree with you. In this regard, you have the ultimate teammate and someone who can be by your side as you both vent and talk sh*t about your world and everyone in it. When you’re single, I guess you have to resort to venting to your cat? Yeah, you definitely miss having that person you could feel comfortable saying what you REALLY think about all the people in your life to. A SO is the ultimate confidante and secret keeper.
9Massages Anytime You Want
Perhaps one of the most underrated benefits of being in a relationship is the fact you got a massage partner on-hand anytime you need it. It goes both ways…or should go both ways. Back scratching, random itches, kinks in the neck, foot rubs, you name it…you got a loving partner there to help try and make you feel better at all times. What do you do when you’re single? Pay the $100 to get some random person to pat you down? Rub up against the corner of a wall in your apartment like a bear? It’s just not the same. Massages are also a fun part of intimacy in a relationship — something that can show your affection and appreciation for each other, as well as another way to get close body contact after a long and stressful day. Regardless, when you’re newly single you miss the fact you used to be able to get massages whenever you wanted from the person you loved.
8When “Staying In” You’re Rarely Ever Alone
When single you end up spending a lot more time by yourself than when in a relationship. A night in when you’re single often means you’re by yourself watching Netflix or hanging out with a friend. But a night in when you’re in a relationship means having a relaxing night in with your SO. Netflix, movies, cuddling, sex, lazing around in bed…staying in when you’re in a relationship is actually even better than going out. A single person has to make an effort to go see their friends or be around other people, but when in a relationship you just invite over your SO while you’re in sweatpants and a sweatshirt. The accessibility and comfort of having someone to come over and be lazy with is definitely one of the most enjoyable parts of being in a relationship, which a lot of freshly single people are going to miss.
7You Always Have An Excuse To Skip Out On Plans
One of the great parts about being in a relationship is you always have a scapegoat to get out of plans. If there’s a social event that your friends are trying to pressure you into, you can get away with telling them, “ah, sorry (SO’s name) is not feeling well and I’m going to stay home and take care of him or her,” or “(SO’s name) and I have had reservations at this hot dinner spot for ages…then we’ll probably be in a food coma for the rest of the night.” You can always pull the old, “(SO’s name)’s parents are in town and we’re going to be busy all weekend unfortunately.” When you’re single, people know your schedule is wide open for the most part, so it’s not as easy to bail on social occasions and functions than when you’re in a long-term relationship. This is definitely something a newly single person is going to miss the next time one of their friends are inviting them to a social event that they really don’t want to go to, but they have no excuses and a completely wide-open weekend.
6Somebody Who Just Completely Understands And Gets You
It’s so great being in a relationship because someone just gets you. No explanations are needed, you can just be yourself around them and don’t have to put on some sort of act. Even with your closest friends, you’re always playing some different version of yourself, but in a relationship it’s just the real you. It can be exhausting being single because you don’t have that one person in your life who gets you in a way that nobody else does. You always have to pretend, put on acts, and explain things about yourself to people. To the extent that you might want to stop socializing altogether! When you’re in a relationship you have someone to hang out with who you don’t even have to talk to if you don’t want, you can just both sit there quietly in each other’s presence. That’s definitely something you miss after a relationship — feeling like you actually found someone who not only understands your particular brand of weird, but is actually weird in the same way you are. That makes you feel like you’ve found your “person” and a place in the world where you feel understood and accepted in a way you never have before. It makes you wonder if you’re ever going to be able to find someone who understands you and accepts your craziness in the same way that your exes did (or maybe they didn’t understand or accept you which is why they’re your exes!!).
5You Have A Plus 1 For Everything
When in a relationship you have a plus one for everything. You have a teammate to handle all those awkward social functions and strenuous cocktail parties that you don’t really want to be at in the first place. Whether it’s friends’ parties where you don’t know a lot of people, weddings, birthday parties, work parties, or excruciatingly boring family get togethers, you have a plus one at all times and someone to make certain social occasions a little less stressful. And not only do you have someone to arrive with and talk to the whole time, but you also have someone you can leave with anytime you want. Rather than having to make the awkward Houdini exit at some opportunistic point during the night, you feel feel much less awkward actually saying “goodbyes” to people when you’re leaving with your SO.
4You Have A Permanent Movie Partner
One of the best parts about being in a relationship is you have a permanent movie partner, both to go to the movies and Netflix at home. When you’re single, you have to make plans ahead of time with a friend, or you just never go to the movies because you can never find someone who wants to see the same movies as you. Besides, how are you going to get away with seeing the new romantic comedy that just came out? Yeah, you’ll probably just wait until you can stream it online and watch it by yourself, stuffing your face with whatever carb-infused snack you can find to help grapple with your loneliness. Let’s face it, when you’re single you inevitably end up going to movies a lot less often, as well as watching a lot more movies by yourself. It’s sad, but it’s the truth. The two most important activities in a relationship (other than sex, of course!) are probably eating food and going to movies. Being in a relationship means you have the ultimate movie companion on speed dial at all times.
3You Don’t Have To Go On Awkward Dates
Probably the worst part about being single is the awkward dates. Or simply going on dates with people that are complete strangers who you know nothing about. You feel forced to fill all the awkward silences, and feel like you have to screen your real personality to some degree and impress the person sitting across from you. But when you go on dates with your SO, you are completely relaxed, just enjoying each other’s company in a fancier and more romantic setting than the average day you spend together. When in a relationship, you look around at couples on first dates and are in no way envious of their position — just starting out at the very beginning, going through all the awkward motions of small talk and trying to feel each other out. When you’re immersing yourself back into the dating world after a relationship — while definitely exciting and new — you definitely miss the comfort and ease you felt going out for dinner or grabbing drinks with someone you’d been dating for a long time.
2A Whole Lot Of Cuddling
Can you even cuddle when you’re single? What are you going to cuddle your one-night stand? Unless you have a pet at home, about the only cuddling you’re going to be doing when single is with your giant throw pillow. In a relationship, great cuddling is probably even more important than having great sex. It’s one of the best comforts of a relationship, the intimacy and closeness of cuddling on rainy days spent in bed, or cozying up together on the couch to watch a movie. That feeling of touch with someone you love and care about is one of the hardest things to give up when you’re newly single. You’ll likely draw back on some of your fondest romantic memories of your previous relationship, and they will be with the two of you cuddling and having romantic and cute pillow talk together.
Of course when you’re newly single you will miss the companionship of a relationship. All of us humans are built the same. We crave community, partnership, and companionship. We were built to live and find another to be our companion in life. Someone to build a life with and share this one wild adventure that we all get to experience. So, it’s going to be sad to say goodbye to the companionship a relationship brings, something all of us inherently crave in the end. But, while you can’t find that exact same romantic companionship when you’re single, you can find companionship in other places that you can cultivate to make your life just as meaningful — companionship with your friends, family, with strangers, nature, your passions and hobbies, and most importantly, with yourself. That way you’ll be so much stronger and better off when you do find a romantic companion again.