Relationships can be both wonderful and difficult, sometimes all at once. While there are butterflies and romance, there is also a lot of hard work involved. Maintaining a relationship and keeping the love alive can sometimes feel like more trouble than it’s worth. However, people who are in love and who are committed to their significant others generally say that all of that work is worth it if you’re with the right person. However, what happens if you’re with the right person, but still want to be with other people too?
Many couples who have embarked in the murky waters of an open relationship often caution against it. Some say that it’s almost impossible to avoid being jealous, and others say that being in an open relationship simply means that you’re not ready to settle down with one person just yet. While all of these reasons are valid, there are some people out there who have actually improved or saved their relationships by welcoming others into it. Whether you agree with it or not, there are people out there who are trying open relationships as married couples, or couples who are just dating. No matter what you think about the idea, though, for these couples, it’s working just fine.
15An Open Relationship Allowed One Couple To Stay Together
A married couple opened up on Reddit and spoke about how having an open marriage (with a partner that they are both involved with) saved their marriage. The two said that they met and began dating in high school, so neither of them had ever gotten the chance to play the field and experiment, which left both parties resentful of the other. After having their first child, the wife decided that something needed to change in order for them to save their marriage, and their solutions was to try an open marriage. However, after some trial and error, they both agreed that sharing the same partner – sometimes at the same time, was the key to them avoiding being jealous and suspicious of one another. They’ve been involved with the same person (while staying happily married to each other) for 7 years.
14Although Married, One Woman Has Never Been In A Monogamous Relationship
One woman writes in Salon Magazine about how her open marriage is as solid and trusting as any other monogamous relationships and marriages out there. This case is a little unique, because she describes how she and her husband both have separate partners, and that each of them are quite involved in the lives of the other people they’re dating.
While she has a family of her own, so does her girlfriend, and they’re involved to the point where they’re in each other’s children’s lives. She even picks up her girlfriend’s daughter from school every now and again. It might seem like a lot of lives to manage and intertwine, but she maintains that she and her husband are very happy in their marriage and family, but also like having the companionship of other people.
13It’s The Only Way This Person Could Even Have A Relationship
In 2012, a woman named Arianne Cohen wrote a piece in The Guardian about her open relationship with her fiancé. While at first, she said that she and her partner discussed a lot of rules about how their open relationship was going to work, she realized later that the rules they were trying to establish was more about control and jealousy than having an actual open relationship.
However, she said that once she and her partner simplified things and agreed that there wouldn’t be any surprises, meaning full disclosure about their extramarital affairs, and that any dates with other lovers would be pre-scheduled, she found that things began to work more seamlessly in her relationship. They also agreed try and not see or spend time with each other’s lovers.
12One Couple Turned Their Open Marriage Into One Big Happy Relationship
In the same The Guardian piece, a couple who had been together for 24 years, Claire and Bill, had an open marriage, with each of them being in a relationship with someone for 7-8 years. Aside from being with other people for an extended period of time, Claire and Bill have allowed their respective partners to be a part of their lives as a couple. While that may seem like a complicated arrangement, it works for them, and sometimes both Bill and Claire’s boyfriend attend music shows. Their relationship(s) work so well, and all couples are in sync that they say there is very little friction, despite the fact that there are so many people involved with each other — even Bill’s girlfriend has a partner of her own.
11An Open Relationship Has A Different Meaning For One Couple
Everyone has very unique needs, in life, work, and relationships. For Max and Richard, who were also part of The Guardian piece, their open relationship means different things for each of them. Richard seeks out a number of short-term partners, which is just fine by Max because she says that acknowledges that that is what he needs from their open relationship.
For Max, however, the open relationship allows her to have, as she describes it, “three active people on the shortlist right now. If I’m feeling like I need a little attention or need a diversion, they’re just friends I sleep with.” Richard also attends parties for people who have open relationships as well, and while Max has attended a few herself, she doesn’t really like them, and leaves the parties to Richard.
10Sometimes, Open Relationships Are An Unexpected Solution
For Lori and her partner Jon, began their relationship as monogamous couple. However, about a year into their relationship, Jon became attracted to another woman. Instead of looking at it as a betrayal and allowing it to tear apart their relationship, Lori and Jon spoke about the situation and decided that they loved each other too much to let monogamy be the thing that split them up.
While at first, they tried swingers parties, after a while, it became kind of boring for both of them, so they began to explore dating other people while still remaining together. They say that they communicate with each other, and there are never any secrets about the other people they’re seeing, so that no one gets hurt. Now, the couple have been together for 13 years.
9A Couple In An Open Relationship Lead Them To Greener Pastures
In an article in Cosmopolitan, a woman describes an open relationship she had with someone named Ned. Their arrangement was that they could have secondary partners, but that the two of them would remain “primary partners.” And that’s when she met another man named Luke. While the she and Ned remained primary partners, she became more and more interested in Luke, and eventually, this led to she and Ned “transitioning” out of their relationship.
Now, this might seem like a situation where an open relationship didn’t work, both people came out of it happy and amicable. During the course of this open relationship, both parties found other partners that they would rather be with. It just goes to show that while open relationships can be a catalyst for people to split up, it can sometimes be for the better.
8This Couple’s Open Relationship Is About Convenience
Have you even felt lonely or restless when your boo is away, and so you’re left just feeling hot and bothered? For one woman and her husband, their open relationship arrangement works to fill that void for when they’re not together. More specifically, their open relationship is only ever “in play” if you will, when the other is out of town.
This arrangement is convenient and works for them, because it means that they can be together as a couple, but still have the fun that they want when they’re apart. They do have other rules, however. Aside from only being able to sleep with other people when one of them is out of town, they also can’t continually sleep with the same people. This way, they say, it keeps things interesting — for those lonely nights when they’re apart.
7One Woman Gets The Best Of Both Worlds
For Alyssa, who was also interviewed for an article in Cosmopolitan, she describes her open relationship as a “throuple,” which is a couple with three people in it. She’s in a relationship with a man named Joshua, and a woman who merely referred to as S. The three of them have included a fourth member in the past — a college student named Ann. However, when Ann began to cause a lot of drama for the throuple who didn’t usually have any drama between the three of them, they had to part ways.
Alyssa said that they’ve had other people join their throuple in the past, but right now, she, S, and Joshua are all getting along really well together, so they’re not really actively looking for someone new to join them. She loves their relationship because she can be with a man and a woman at the same time.
6This Guy Didn’t Want To Commit, So He Entered An Open Relationship
One man on Reddit who said that he wasn’t in a place in his life where he could commit to only one person decided that he would instead, be part of a relationship with two other people. The couple he’s with have been together for years, but occasionally, he joins them on dates, or sleeps with them.
According to him, the arrangement suits him just fine, because the couple he’s with are very committed to each other, and they don’t have any expectations about him staying in a relationship with them if he doesn’t want to. The only rule with them is that everyone needs to use protection. He’s even allowed to date whomever he would like, outside of their relationship. This is certainly one way to have you cake and eat it, too.
5An Open Relationship Revived This Marriage
A couple who have been married for over a decade began their relationship and immediately fell deep in love with each other. However, after a few years of wedded bliss, they both found themselves wanting more, with both feeling like they wanted to experience something new. Of course, with neither of them wanted to cheat, so they discussed their feelings and desires one day. “I don’t even remember how it came up,” wrote the wife in a Reddit post, “I just remember that it was such a relief to finally tell my husband and have him feel the same way.”
For this couple, the rules are very straight-forward: they aren’t allowed to sleep with anyone from their workplaces or circle of friends, and they must remain completely honest with each other.
4Infidelity Lead To An Open Relationship
In a Reddit thread about open relationships, one user described how she and her significant other came about deciding to be in an open relationship. As it turns out, their relationship began when she was cheating on her ex with her current partner. When she realized that her her affair was feeling more and more like a serious relationship, she broke things off with her ex. She that because her current relationship began with infidelity, it was important for them to work on a system that would work for them, so that there would be no room for betrayal in their relationship. “Because I cheated in my first relationship, we got to the root of why I did that — it was because I was becoming bored in the bedroom and felt disconnected from my ex — so our rule is we can sleep with other people, so long as the other person knows about it.”
3Open Relationships Come Highly Recommended
In another Reddit thread about open relationships, one woman spoke out about how being in an open relationship has been working out for she and her boyfriend. She said, “I can’t even begin to tell you how much having a semi-open relationship has boosted our love life. Every once in a blue moon when a realistic opportunity arises for us to enjoy the company of another person either separate or together we have the TIME OF OUR LIFE!!!”
When you read a glowing review like that, how can you not want to try it? She said that their rules are fairly straight-forward, in that protection must always be used if there’s a new partner in the mix, and that anyone they get involved with must just be interested in the physical, because they aren’t trying to get into a relationship with other people.
2It Proved That They Wanted To Be Together – As A Pair
In an attempt to spice up a seemingly dull relationship, one Reddit user described his experience trying out an open relationship with his partner. He said, “We set up a lot of ground rules initially, things like ‘you can’t hang out with that person all the time and sleep with them more than three times, etc. Things that would mean you were now in a relationship with someone else.” It seems like those rules worked in their favour, because it brought them to the realization that they preferred to be with each other, rather than other people.
He said that after their open relationship experiment, he and his partner “just can’t be bothered seeing other people,” and that their physical relationship always brought them more pleasure than any of the other partners they were in bed with.
1Being Open Is An Addition, Not A Replacement
“We decided to be open because we understand that it’s natural to be attracted to other people, and we both really really love being physical with other people,” someone said about their relationship on Reddit. “But being open is not meant to replace the relationship, the attraction or the intimacy in our relationship. If we are having issues in our relationship, we make sure we work on it (and also not go on any dates). You don’t fix a rundown car by buying a new one.”
They said that the reason their open relationship works, is that they are honest with each other about everything, so that there is no jealousy between them. They also said that first and foremost, their relationship is the priority, so that it is always clear that any other partner involved in their relationship is secondary.