Some dudes have gotten too accustomed to the single life that they often forget what it’s actually like to be in a relationship. Oftentimes, they carry over their habits from their single life to their new relationship because old habits die hard. After the lust phase of butterflies in the stomach has surpassed, then the real person shines through and you start to see them for who they really are. For better or for worse, there are some expectations in relationships that are simply not only unrealistic, but somewhat disrespectful. If any of these bubble up to the surface, just remind your man that he is not single anymore, and there is only so much that you are willing to tolerate.
Just remember to cut him some slack. After all, if he is in a brand new relationship, all it will take is some time and understanding. If he really cares about you, he will watch his behavior more closely. Here are the unrealistic expectations men want from women in a relationship.
15Doing All His Dirty Laundry
Shockingly, many milennial men grow up with their mothers always doing their dirty loads of laundry. As a consequence, they find the whole task daunting when they get to be adults. Well ok, not all guys our age don’t know how to do laundry. This is usually an apparent trait once you start to shack up with your guy and start doing chores together. They might take it for granted and just sort of expect you to wash their dirty underwear without even having to ask. Maybe this wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world as long as he holds up his end of the bargain by doing other household duties. Just make sure that happens and it should all be smooth sailing. Doing a guy’s laundry isn’t the end of the world as long as it is something that you are comfortable with.
If you had plans with him, and you find him consistently bailing out on you at the last minute, then put your foot down. Think about it: whenever a friend flakes out on you, there is a short expiration date as to how long you will tolerate it for. Your boyfriend is no exception. It is far too much work to maintain friendships or relationships with people who can’t be there when they say that they are going to be there. Next time he flakes out on you, just stop inviting him to hang out. If he is still interested, he will come around and ask why you have stopped inviting him. Tell him it is because you feel that you can’t rely on him and that your time is better spent with people you can rely on.
13Cooking Before They Earned It
Back in our grandparent’s generation, the role of the women was to mind the kitchen. This meant cooking, washing dishes, etc. Granted, there are still many women out there that love cooking and there is nothing wrong with that. It just becomes sexist if you are dating a guy who just assumes that A) you are naturally good at cooking because you are a woman and B) that you owe him the pleasure of you cooking for him on a regular basis. First off, you should only cook for a significant other if they are significant to you. If a guy is just using you to hook up, then all that time and money spent on making a tasty meal for him is largely wasted. Only cook for a guy if you know you are a good cook and enjoy doing it. Also, wait until he has taken you on a few dates before you cook for him. It takes a special type of guy to deserve that.
12Hooking Up All The Time
It always seems like guys have an appetite to hook up more often so than woman. They are biologically programed to be the more promiscuous gender simply for the reason that they don’t have the potential child-bearing burden. When you are in a relationship, you need something to bond over that goes beyond hooking up. If there has never been a time where you hung out with your guy and hooking was not involved, then that might be the premise in which your relationship is founded. If that is your prerogative, then that is completely acceptable. If you are looking for something more meaningful, then its time to suggest getting out of the bedroom and actually doing something activity related. If he isn’t down for that, then he sees you as a hook up, not a girlfriend. Yes, the truth hurts sometimes.
11Taking Advantages Of The Perks Since You Come From A Rich Family
Just like many women fantasize about marrying a rich dude, many guys fantasize about marrying a girl who comes from a wealthy family. Since many men don’t want their significant others earning more money than them, they are happy if you have a lower paying job but come from a wealthy family instead. This expectation is not only unrealistic, but it is insulting because it really has no merit. Even if he did find a girl who came from a rich family, that doesn’t say anything about what she has accomplished in her life. This is also a sign that he might lack ambition and would rather just marry into wealth rather than earn it for himself. It’s a red flag that he is probably lazy and doesn’t have big aspirations for his career.
10Going Through The Backdoor
When it comes to bedroom action, a lot of dudes like to see if they could go through the “back door.” Not only is this incredibly painful if you are doing it for the first time, but many women don’t find it as kinky and gratifying as men do. In fact, many of us are flat out repulsed by it. Some guys use the whole experience as a bragging point to their friends. This is an ego game where they one up each other and keep score of how many times a girl has let them go through the back door. If this is something that makes you uncomfortable (as well as it should), then just say no. Period. The last thing you would ever want to happen is to allow him to do it only to have all the gory details talked about amongst his friends. If you are into it, then by all means go for it. Just remember that you will go where not too many have gone before.
9Granting Too Much Bro Time
We have all heard the saying, “bros before hoes.” This is so cliché that it should pretty much be wiped out of the English language. Maybe this phrase is better lived by at a college freshmen level but there is no such excuse after the age of…say, 25. If your dude is spending more time with his bros than he is with you, then maybe you should seriously start to question his sexual orientation. I mean, come on. Most heterosexual males have certain needs that are required to be satisfied on a physical level. If it feels like he would rather spend the night with his bros playing video games than spending time to hook up with you, then take this as a red flag that something is seriously wrong. He is probably a closet case that does not have the courage to come out and admit who he really is.
8Never Getting Sick Of Him And His Annoying Antics
There needs to be a healthy amount of space in relationships. Being attached at the hip and being around each other every waking moment of everyday will cause some annoyance on your end (and perhaps his as well). Unless your insecurities plague your better judgement, no one really wants a clingy partner when they are in a relationship. It is hard to enjoy each other’s company when you are around each other so much that you end up taking it for granted. If you feel smothered, just gently remind your guy that you need some me time and suggest that he do the same. Sometimes, you just need some solitude to recharge your batteries or a girl’s night to go out and have fun without any testosterone.
7Tolerating Immaturity And His Irresponsible Habits
If he likes to play mind games just to see what kind of reaction he can get out of you, then he might be paving the way for toxicity without realizing it. He doesn’t realize what kind of damage that is doing because he hasn’t been in the dating scene long enough to see the consequences of his actions. If he likes to party a lot but never invites you or goes out to bars all the time and doesn’t want you to tag along, then he doesn’t value you the way he should. These are common characteristics of immature guys who haven’t grown up enough to reach the ability to date you and treat you like a gentleman at the same time. A sign of a mature man is most likely a guy who isn’t a party animal and actually sets time aside to spend with you.
6Expecting Constant Validation From You
Everyone needs a boost of confidence or a compliment every now and again, especially if we are going through hard times. If we have been recently dumped, fired or otherwise have had our self esteem beaten up by certain people or events in our life, then we need some emotional support. That is perfectly understandable. However, if you are dating someone who always looks to you for to feel valued, then that is a major sign of insecurity. If he doesn’t hold himself in high esteem, then he might look to you for validation. This can be a burden because it can feel like you are walking on eggshells. He might be disappointed if you can’t tell him exactly what he wants to hear (even if it is insincere). Just because you ares someone’s girlfriend or boyfriend, it does not mean that it is your job to make them feel important. That is all contingent upon the opinion that they have about themselves.
5Expecting You To Accept Non-Committal Plans
Before any sort of relationship comes to fruition, there is that time when you are just feeling each other out for the first time. This phase can be exciting because there is so much of the unknown that you have yet to explore. Sometimes, his pride stops him from texting you first because he wants you to text him first. He might give the weak, “we should hang out…sometime” without giving a clear date or time in mind. This means that he expects you to take the initiative by trying to make plans with him rather than him making plans with you. If you don’t mind wearing the pants, then by all means you can take 100% of the initiative. However, you are better off spending time with a guy who gives you balance in your life. Gently remind him that he should give you specifics when asking you to hang out because ain’t no one got time for that.
4Fitting The Bill Perfectly
It is true that everyone has a type. Some dudes are into blondes while others are into brunettes. Sometimes we find ourselves making exceptions and becoming attracted to people who don’t really fit the criteria of “our type.” If he expects you to alter your appearance (like dye your hair, change your style of clothing, etc), then that means that he is trying to change you. It means that he doesn’t accept you for who you really are and believes that if only he could change that one thing (or many things) about you, then you would be perfect. The reality is that perfection just doesn’t exist. It also means that he has unrealistic expectations and perhaps no one will ever be good enough for him. Don’t let this make you feel insecure, just have him know that those types of expectations are not going to happen. If he doesn’t accept it, then don’t accept him as a potential boyfriend.
3Always Appearing Glamorous But Not Taking Long To Get Ready
We as a society are brainwashed by images of beauty and perfection that is photoshopped or otherwise altered. Please recognize that this is not real life. No, we did not wake up like this. No one woke up like this. Not even Megan Fox woke up like this. There is a quote from Cindy Crawford where she said, “some day, even I don’t wake up looking like Cindy Crawford.” Although this quote is indirectly narcissistic, we can all agree that even when we are looking our absolute best, it is only after some time spent on hair, makeup and grooming that got us to that point. If your guy never wants to see you without makeup or in your PJs, then he doesn’t want to see you for who you really are. You are better off finding a guy who you can be your true unadulterated self around.
2Avoiding Any Weight Fluctuations
Weight gain and weight loss happens to the best of us. As we get older, our metabolisms slow down and we are no longer that tiny little thing that we were when we were a teenager. Sometimes, we find ourselves under a certain amount of stress that causes us to lose weight unintentionally. Weight fluctuations happen to both men and women throughout the course of our lives. If we are in a loving relationship, then our partner shouldn’t mind that we have gained or lost a few pounds. If he scrutinizes your body in any way, then he is not being a supportive partner. Unless you have gone through a drastic change (like acquired an eating disorder or gained so much weight that you have become obese), then his criticism most likely comes from concern for your well being. Other than that exception, there is no reason for him to hate on you. This is especially true if he isn’t in the best shape himself.
1Not Wanting Things To Get Too Serious
If you have been dating a guy for a very short period of time, don’t get frustrated if he doesn’t want to commit right away. After all, he is just getting to know you. However, if you have been dating him for say, 6-12 months and he still gives you that deer caught in the headlights look every time you bring up commitment, then something is seriously off. After a certain amount of time dating someone, you know whether or not if that person is right for you. You might not know it initially, but relationships should progress even if they progress slowly. If you find that the status of your relationship stagnant after a significant amount of time, you should sit down and have that conversation with him. If he still seems reluctant, then it is time to part ways. Plain and simple.