Monday, May 23, 2022
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15 Ways NOT To Mess Up This Relationship

Dating isn’t some new thing, but it has changed a lot in recent years. So much so that there have been some unspoken rules floating around that we somehow all know. We know these rules like the back of our hand and honestly, they aren’t all a bad thing. Sometimes these rules can prepare you for the unexpected and can keep you aware so you know whether or not you should take your date up on that offer of a second date. In this article, we’ve collected the most common and well-known unspoken rules of dating that we really know all too well. These rules cover everything, from hookups, late night booty calls, and the classic let him text me first. These rules are not something you always have to follow but if you’re like most individuals who have not been in the dating scene for a few years now, they are quite handy to at least be aware of before going out on a date with someone you just met on Tinder. Throughout this list, we’ll be giving you some advice on how to follow this rule or if you should completely ignore it. Of course, we don’t know your unique situations, but when it comes to dating, everyone is experiencing something new, which is why you need to take these rules only if you want to! Just remember to be yourself and have respect for those you’re dating, unless they text you at 3 AM because they want to “Chill”.

15Don’t Text Right Away

It’s been known that if you’re the one who texts first, you’ll be seen as desperate. While we personally don’t believe this should have ever been an unspoken rule about dating, regardless, it is. While it’s not as common now, it was fairly popular to believe that you shouldn’t text your date first because all that said about was that you’re desperate and don’t know how to play it cool. If you just got back from a date with your potential partner, we suggest that you text them and thank them for a great time, let them know how much you enjoyed the night and honestly, just text them whenever you want. It’s the best call and it will mean that you’re being true to yourself and doing what you want, which is much more attractive than pretending like you don’t care about someone. Don’t try to be someone you’re not, ever!

14Look Through Their Facebook

This is extremely common, looking through their Facebook. Looking through all their friends and all the girls that comment on your date’s profile pictures! While we aren’t saying that you should snoop around your potential date’s profile, but we do admit that it is an extremely common thing to do. It’s so common in fact that many individuals admit to it like it’s not even a big deal, trying to make a joke about it. With the rise of the internet and Facebook, it’s no surprise that people are cautious and want to know more about a person before they commit themselves to that individual, I can easily acknowledge that. But when you constantly stalk their profile for new information or get mad when they talk to their friends on Facebook that are actually just friends, it can be a bit too much for anyone to handle. Just try to build trust first!

13Don’t Reveal Too Much

Don’t tell your date too much about yourself! You want to keep them guessing, but you don’t want it to get to the point that you’re playing games either. Find the balance when connecting with your date. Don’t tell your date everything about yourself so you will continue to have a wide variety of things to discuss on future dates. It’s important though that you don’t lie or hide things when they ask you a question, you should always be honest. But at the same time don’t expose every single story, little detail or fact about yourself on the first date. This will make an individual feel like they haven’t really gotten a chance to learn about you naturally and it will feel almost fake. It’s important that your date feels like they are slowly learning about you so it keeps the situation interesting. Will you keep your secrets hidden for now?

12Have A Coffee Date

This is one of the most common places to have a date with someone, especially someone that you happen to be meeting for the first time. It’s a public space which is a must for a first date so nothing weird happens, but it’s also just become an important part of dating culture as well as coffee culture. By having a coffee date, you’re keeping it casual and not making it feel like there is any pressure between either of you. If you’re new to dating or haven’t been involved in the dating scene for the last few years, invite your potential date to go out and have coffee with you! Trust us, it’ll be well worth it! You might even turn this little date into a natural habit between you two, making it so you meet up at the coffee shop on a specific day of the week or even after you both get off work.

11Have Common Ground

Find a common ground. While this might seem like it’s too early in the relationship to find this kind of understanding, guess what, it’s not! Find someone that you don’t constantly fight with. It’s an unspoken rule that if you constantly fight with someone from the beginning and the first couple months of dating, you’re obviously with the wrong person. Don’t let this kind of behavior slide, because when you two start to take it seriously and exclusively are only dating each other, you’ll realize very quickly that you are not going to get along with each other for the majority of the time. Just remember that if you two always fight and seem to have a hard time communicating, just leave them and move on with your life. Find someone that actually understands where you’re coming from and you’ll see right away how much a difference it is when you’re spending time together and growing together.

10Don’t Cheat

This shouldn’t even be on the list because it’s so obvious, but sadly it has to be because so many individuals seem to disregard the fact they this is a scummy thing to do. You should never cheat on anyone, that includes people you’re dating. Unless you let the individual know that you’re dating other people as well and that they should feel fine doing the same, you shouldn’t lead someone one to think that they are your only interest in the moment. While some might not call this cheating, it is something that is a serious issue and has been referred to cheating by many individuals. Don’t let someone believe something when you’re literally having no cares in the world about what they think when you’re dating them! If you’re still seeing people and you go on a date with someone, make it clear to them soon that you don’t want to be exclusive just yet if that’s something you’re not ready for. Don’t let the other individual convince you to lie either by guilting you into feeling bad.

9Prepare For Some Fun

If you have agreed with your potential date that things might lead to the bedroom, it’s an unspoken rule that you probably were already prepared for this kind of outcome. This doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, it’s a natural thing and as long as it’s with someone you trust, then you’re good to go. But the unspoken rule of being prepared for this kind of ‘date’ usually means that you probably already had the supplies needed. Protection, a change of clothes, and deodorant and a toothbrush. You’ve probably put everything together in a nice compact bag, but you’re not alone so don’t worry. This happens so often it’s become the new norm honestly, so don’t be ashamed. Just remember to not worry about what other people think and to just do what makes you and your potential date happy. There is nothing wrong with wanting to hookup, just go for it and be safe!

8Offer To Split The Check

This is something quite modern in society now. While it would usually fall on the guy to treat the woman to a date, now in today’s world, it’s quite common for two individuals on a date to be on a mutual ground and offer to split the check. It’s a new type of world, where power is equal, just as it should be. There shouldn’t be gender roles involved in any relationship, there needs to be a balance that actually works. There needs to be some equality, more than ever. By splitting the bill this is just one small example of how you both will be willing to work together and support each other in the future. If you’re dating someone that wants to split the bill, go with it, because it honestly reveals a ton about their personality and who they are as a unique individual. Don’t let some random guy make you feel that as a woman there needs to be some sort of upper hand when it comes to money and power. Promote equality and if they don’t agree with it, dump them.

7Don’t Pity Date

This is sadly very common and shouldn’t be. It’s never okay to date someone just because you felt bad for them. Don’t even agree to one date with an individual that you know you don’t connect with. This should be one of the most important rules when it comes to dating because it really can hurt a person much worse if they find out you didn’t even like them from the start. Don’t just date someone because you feel bad for them. You should always date someone because you actually have some degree of interest in them for a variety of reasons. Step in their shoes and ask yourself if you would really want someone to ask you on a date and they go along with it the whole time and you later found out that they actually just felt bad for you. Talk about feeling like crap! It would be a total waste of time for everyone involved, which is why it should never go there, ever.

6Find A Good Balance

It should be common sense and one of the unspoken rules we know by heart, the fact that there needs to be a really great balance between two individuals if you want to be with them long term. You shouldn’t settle for someone that isn’t on the same page as you. Finding a good balance might mean that it takes longer to find someone to be with, but it will also mean that you won’t be settling and wasting even more time by dating whoever. The unspoken rule of dating that focuses on the importance of balance, is seriously important. While it might be daunting to try and figure out who will actually be balanced with your own personality, it is possible if you’re patient and really explore what you want in a relationship and what you want in life. Don’t settle for someone who doesn’t understand your goals and you don’t understand theirs. All this will lead to are fights.

5Be Accepting

The unspoken rule of keeping your mind open when going on a date for the first time can sometimes be hard to remember. We all too often judge a book by its cover, when we should really pay more attention to what the book contains, this can easily be applied to dating as well, especially when you’re meeting someone for the first time. Just keep in mind that when you go on a first date, you’re meeting someone who is extremely nervous and closed off, everyone is on the first date, even yourself. So don’t be harsh and quick to judge, because you would be surprised at how often and drastically a person can change when they open themselves up to you. Don’t judge someone by the first date because we highly doubt that you would want to feel that kind of rude judgment either when someone doesn’t even know you.

4Don’t Become A Late Night Call

While we mentioned before that it’s very common that individuals prepare for a hookup, if that’s not your kind of thing then you should know that it’s very common for someone to text you in the early morning around 2 AM if they just want to flirt and booty call you. If you’re not into this kind of thing, don’t put up with it and call them out on it. Be honest with them and tell them that you’re not looking for that sort of thing. Just because this is common in the dating community doesn’t mean that you need to put up with it by any means. Stand up for yourself and don’t accept that into your life if you’re not interested in a short-term and shallow relationship like that. Don’t do something that you’re not comfortable with if you don’t want to have a booty call with someone, then don’t. Don’t let someone you hardly know talk you into doing something like this.

3Don’t Talk About Your Ex

It’s so common and easy to bring up your ex when you go on a few dates with someone new. Especially if you were in a long-term relationship with your ex in the past, it’s very easy to not even realize that you’re talking about them or even comparing your current date with them. If your ex has been a huge part of your life, you might find yourself trying to hold back from bringing them up to your current date which can be quite difficult. We suggest that you just be honest with your date and talk about how your last relationship ended up. Maybe even ask them first so they can feel like they can express themselves, instead of you just trying to vent about your past relationships. Just remember to not let yourself get upset when you hear about your date’s past relationships, this kind of thing will be hard to listen to, but if you need to get your own past relationship off your chest, then hold it together for the sake of both of you.

2Be Honest

Be honest, always. Don’t ever lie especially on the first few dates. Dating and relationships should be focused on truth. Building that trust together starts from the moment you two connect. Don’t put yourself first and lie about something stupid that will just come back to bite you. If you have trouble telling someone the truth, bring that up to them so you can be open and honest about what you’re scared about or what you’re having a hard time with. If they happen to not be accepting of that then you’ll know right away that you need to just move on and live your life surrounded by accepting and healthy relationships. If you find that they are accepting of you being honest with them with whatever you’re having trouble with, then you’ll know right away that they are special and a hidden gem you shouldn’t let go of in the future.

1Withhold

So you’ll be able to see if he really wants to be with you or not! While we’re not telling you to do this, but we had to include it because it was seriously so common from everyone we’ve talked to about their dating life. While we do understand why individuals would do this because hooking up is so common, probably even more common than dating currently. If you happen to choose to do this, you’ll know right away who will still want to be with you and who will not have anything to do with you anymore since they only wanted your body in the first place. This is honestly a great way to be honest about what you want while also making sure to weed out all the morons that just want that physical aspect of the relationship but literally nothing else. If you have found that withholdin does help you find real people that just want to find love, then go for it!

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