♪ “Friends…How many of us have them? Friends…Ones we can depend on; Friends…How many of us have them? Friends…Before we go any further, lets be Friends” ♪ Man, Whodini hit it right on the nose. Or wait, how about TLC — ♪ “What about your friends, Will they stand their ground, Will they let you down again?; What about your friends, are they gonna be low down, Will they ever be around, Or, will they turn their backs on you” ♪ Hey, either or, these are both the jams. Aside from the capability of rocking the house, these two songs deliver a very powerful message about the distinctive bond of friendship and the intricacies involved.
Now, you just got yourself a new boyfriend. You’re happy, he’s happy, the hamster’s happy; it appears that everyone is happy, except your bff (best friend forever). Your friend is no tree, although as of late, she’s been casting a lot of shade. You can’t quite put your finger on it, but you’re getting this feeling that perhaps you’re bestie doesn’t quite like your newfangled relationship, and maybe is even hating a little bit on it. How can you tell for sure? The following piece explores 15 Ways To Tell Your Friend Is Hating On Your Relationship.
15She Never LIKES Any Of Your Couple Pics
Online, people ‘like’ pics of your pet, your brunch items, your recently done nails, your favorite quotes, your freshly washed & waxed car, your derriere…ANYTHING more than pics of your relationship. They would probably like a photo of a court summons or a some dirty socks more than your two faces in one place. This is common knowledge, though, if anybody were to show love to your ‘boo pics’ it’d be your bff — right? Hmm, well, not necessarily; in fact, everyone else BUT your friend may like your couple pics.
If you observe that your friend hits the Like button on pics of yours as long as they don’t have anything to do with your boyfriend, than you can bet that your friend is a bit envious of your relationship. Either that, or your booed-up pics are just a nuisance to your bestie; or both. Especially if you’re one to often change your status to Single when you’re in a post-fight stage of euphoria, because she knows it will only be followed by a confident, ‘you can’t stop the reign’ kissy couple pic two days later.
14She Begins To Act Strangely
Ever since you and Jeff (we’ll just call your boo “Jeff” for all intensive purposes) got together, you’ve detected abnormal behavior from your bestie. She’s become a little less accessible; you’re communication with her has slowly but surely slowed up. Her text message responses come delayed; you’re getting her voicemail more and more as you call. You know in your heart, something is fishy. All the years you’ve known your bff, she’s never acted this way. Well, don’t look so surprised; you have a boyfriend now, that’s just how things go.
See, when you are single (and your girl is too), you and your friend are playing on even ground; you get to talk about ‘single’ girl stuff like hot guys you’d like to lay and the pros n’ cons of being #TeamSingle. However when you enter a relationship, you and your bff are no longer playing on the same team anymore…she’s #TeamSingle and now you’re #TeamGotMeAManSoBam. Therefore, it’s not much so that your friend is acting strangely all of a sudden; it’s that now, she doesn’t know how to relate to you.
13She Hates Hearing About It
If your bff begins to snarl or shut you down when you start to talk about your relationship, it is a large sign that there is jealousy involved. You know, the rolling of the eyes and the sucking of the teeth you get from her every time you mention his name. She doesn’t even try to hide the fact that she does not want to hear about your precious lil’ boyfriend or your precious lil’ relationship. Like on the real, you could even mess with her with that and test to see how consistently she reacts…
Thing is, TRUE friends are happy for their friend’s happiness; regardless. They don’t go around making snotty remarks or ignoring them for being in a relationship. Perhaps it’s time you ask your bestie if she feels left out. Providing so, you can take a night and just spend it with her. Changes in friendships catapult others to illogical behaviors and question their bonds as friends.
12She Gives You Bad Advice
“Girl, you should just leave his a$s,”, “Girl, you can do much better than him.”, “Girl, fuc* him…let’s go to the club and get us a real baller!” — yes, good ol’ advice from your true-blue and tight-like-glue bff. What’s funny is, most of the time this sort of advice is coming from a friend who is either single or has the worst dating track record ever. Nevertheless, a friend that continuously gives you bad advice in regards to your relationship is surely hating on it somehow someway.
The best thing you can do in this scenario is to kindly inform your bff that although you are grateful for their concern, you are no longer interested in receiving relationship advice from them; thereby, as long as they cease providing it than the two of you are good to go. The absolute worst thing you can do in this predicament is to LISTEN to your unwitting friend and follow their advice. Trust us, you will end up single…which is exactly what your bestie wants.
11She Tells You Rumors About Him
Yes, yes, you’ve heard through the grapevine that your bff has spread some things around about your companion. It’s circulating that your boyfriend is a playa from the Himalayas that juggles more women than Anthony Gatto. Its been said he has bad B.O.; that his wing ding is small; that he has a criminal background…all kinds of stuff. You’re wondering why in the heck would your friend make up these things, let alone go tell them to people. Well, the answer to that is easy — she’s been drinking Haterade.
If your boyfriend’s reputation is bad enough, it’s a chance that it will cause a discomfort within you, which in turn may effect your relationship; or, if the people in your circle keep hearing discomforting things about your fellow than it will cause them to approach you and put ideas in your head about leaving him. Upon finding out your bff is scattering rumors about your man, step to her and nip it in the bud quickly.
10Everything She Says About Him Is Negative
Anytime the subject of your man comes up, if you’ve noticed that your bff never has anything positive to say about him…it may be a sign that she is a hater. Seriously, like every single time he comes up in conversation, your friend has something not nice to say. “He’s stupid,”, “He’s not a man,”, “He’s so messed up”, “I can’t stand him”, if stuff like that is perpetually coming from the peanut gallery — best believe, your pal is hating on your relationship with something fierce.
The best way to alleviate this issue is to just have a sit down with your friend. The purpose of the sit down is to get to the core of your bff’s problem; to find out why she forever has something negative to say about your partner. Your friend may just be joking and not even realize that she’s ceaselessly bashing your babe; or, she may have a real issue with him. Either way, sitting down and getting the nitty gritty of it is the best remedy.
9She Always Has A Comment And Opinion About Everything
Constant opinions are the worst. If your bff has to comment about your mate ALL the time, it’s a sign that something much deeper is brewing. She is envious of your relationship and cannot help herself. She may start with supportive comments and then turn negative in an instant. If your friend tries to “one-up” on everything you share with her, this is a huge neon flashing lights sign of jealousy; however, you have the ability to put a stop to it.
It’s tricky enough to start a new relationship, so by adding the stress of friends and their opinions, you have a recipe for disaster. You need to set boundaries with what you are willing to entertain and what you are not going to accommodate from a friend.
8She Becomes Passive Aggressive
No one cares for passive aggressive behavior. It becomes irritating when a friend agrees to something but deep inside means something else; that kind of sarcasm and hypocrisy is not welcomed. Your bff’s passive aggressiveness, unconsciously or consciously, stems from sheer jealousy (of your relationship).
Jealousy is a complex emotion that encompasses many different kinds of feelings ranging from fear of abandonment to rage and humiliation. Jealousy can strike both men and women when a third-party threat to a valued relationship is perceived. Conventional wisdom holds that jealousy is a necessary emotion because it preserves social bonds, but jealously usually does more harm than good, creating relationship conflict and strife. The passive aggressive behavior is merely a form of masking the fear of losing a friend. It’s easier for that friend to be passive than to confront what truly is hurting her.
7She Starts To Talk Behind Your Back
When a friend begins to talk behind your back, sharing intimate details of your relationship, it’s unpleasant and scornful. It feels like that person told you, “Look over there” and when you looked they stabbed you in the back with a knife real quick; and then when you ask, “Ouch, what was that?”, your friend responds “Uh, idk. Maybe a bee stung you…”
You may want to reach out to that so-called bff and let her know that you will not tolerate disloyalty in your friendship. Address it and put a stop to it asap, while likewise being aware that jealousy derives from insecurities. Is your friend missing you and simply acting out? Is your friend feeling rejected because you have no time for her now that you got a man? Find out and dead the malarkey, quick fast.
6She Starts Rumors About You
This is when that imaginary friendship line gets crossed. True friends do not go around making up stories and rumors about you for melodramatic effects; it’s contemptuous and dishonorable. It’s enough to feed them a dry knuckle sandwich whenever you run into them next! Providing you have a “friend” who is spreading rumors about you or/and your boyfriend, you might want to re-evaluate your friendship.
A real friend doesn’t gossip and make up events to make themselves feel better while hurting you in the process. You can be assured that this is not only jealousy, but too manipulation. And, while you are reassessing your friendship, also let them know that the behavior is disrespectful and humiliating. With a friend like this, who needs enemies?
5You Stop Getting Invited To Stuff
Your [other] friend: “Omg, Kimberley’s freckin brunch picnic was off the charts girl you missed it.” You: ? A million thoughts shoot through your head instantaneously…1) “What’s this Kimberley brunch picnic she talkin’ bout?”, 2) “Where was my invite?”, 3) “This chick here better not gloat about the picnic to my face or it might be something”. Now, “Kimberley”, you’re bff, didn’t even have the gall to take two seconds to ping you on IG to alert you of her lil shindig. No, instead, you had to hear about it on the streets.
If you catch wind of parties and gatherings that have taken place but you weren’t invited, there may be a tad of jealousy in your friendship(s). If you’re missing out on events occurring in your close circle of friends, it could be a sign that you they’re not feeling your current love predicament. If you continuously aren’t getting invited, maybe it’s time you create the gathering and invite your friend(s) instead—see how that works out.
4She Dogs Your Relationship And/Or Man To Other People
You’re chopping it up with a mutual friend you and your bff have. While shooting the breeze, the mutual friend informs you of something your bff said about your relationship and let’s just say it wasn’t good! Your bff said [to the mutual friend] that your boyfriend is a dog that likes to hump around town and that the relationship will be over in a short amount of time. “Holy torpedoes Batman!”, you think. How could this be? How could my bff bash me behind my back? Yeah, yeah, it’s a Hallmark moment, but this justification may put it all in perspective.
Bottom line is — your relationship somehow frustrates your bff and she simply utilized the mutual friends as a means to blow off a lil’ steam. It’s not so much that your bff isn’t your best friend forever; it’s just that she has to get acclimated to the gang of alterations that come with you being in a committed relationship now.
3Give Her The Test
If you REALLY want to know if your girl (or boy) is praying for your downfall, give her the “Test”: Observe her behavior the next time you’re around you’re boyfriend. Invite a group of friends over for a board game night, or plan a fun get-together at your favorite restaurant or pub (whatever you do, make sure there is a group of people around so when you get into action with your hun, it’ll be less awkward and she won’t feel like a 3rd wheel). Show your man a little extra love this night; decorate him with kisses, squeeze him tight—pretty much, just be all up in his face! In the midst of all the smoochie-poochie moments, watch how your friend reacts to all you guys’ action. If you catch glimpses of utter disgust (and not the customary “get-a-room” face), along with green eyes and nasty looks, then BAM! You’ve caught her as* slippin’.
2Her Communication With You Goes Cold
One day, out of the clear blue sky, your friend goes M.I.A. on you. You text her, no response. You wait a little while, text her back, still…nothing back. You say, “freck this”, then dial her number; eventually goes to voicemail. You leave her a voice message: “Hey, this is me. Call me back. Lil’ worried; you’re not answering. Just wanna make sure you are still alive.” Your friend gets back to you much later in the day, however, you’re starting to notice that she’s kind of distant. You’re seeing that she’s not texting you back, she’s barely calling you back; something is up.
What’s up is — you got a man now and she’s not feeling it. You may or may not have noticed it, but your relationship with your beau has somewhat altered the dynamics of your friendship(s); your friends now, get less of you. They see you less, talk to you less, etc; as a result of that, in time, you begin to receive less of them. One way being, you don’t hear much from them anymore.
1She Sleeps With Him
Indeed, probably no better way to tell your bff is hating on your relationship than by them sleeping with your mate. You’ve seen the show “Cheaters”…it’s something along those lines. Most times, when your friend is hating on your relationship, it’s due to the fact that you have a steady love life; you guys are most likely knocking boots on the regular, and deep down, your friend wants the same thing. Your buddy sees you all happy with your boo, and starts to feel that maybe she too can feel that same happiness with a little rolling around in the hay with your partner. You know, why should you be the only one that gets to feel good and be happy n’ stuff?? huh?
Sounds like if a person thinks that way, than they were never your friend in the first place; ya think? Perhaps…yet, then again, relationships can do such things to the strongest of friendships. Everybody just wants to be happy, right? Understood, though it’s certain ways you just don’t go about it.