Single and in the market for a relationship? Not just any relationship, but the right kind, the fun kind, the good kind — the type that changes your entire universe and makes you believe that magic exists in everyday moments? Yeah, so is every single woman on the planet. But that doesn’t mean it’s not a totally awesome and worthwhile pursuit. If you’re on the hunt for a boyfriend but whine about why you never meet any nice guys, you might want to stop complaining so much and figure out what you can do to actually meet the right guy instead. You basically want to take a look in the mirror. You have the absolute power to choose who you do and don’t want to date. Sure, you might feel like you’re at the mercy of the dating gods, especially if you’re using dating apps and websites. But you actually have way more control than you think. Here are 15 ways to attract your dream guy.
15Stop Dating Losers
Do you think that this is easier said than done? Well, hate to break it to you, but it really shouldn’t be that difficult to stop dating guys who are all wrong for you. You know what a loser looks like because everyone’s dated a jerk in the past (or more than a few — oops). If you want to find a nice guy, then be careful about who you spend your time with and don’t go on first dates with just anyone.
14Don’t Be Wishy-Washy
Sometimes it’s okay to go on a ton of second dates because you don’t want your life to be all bad first dates, all the time, and of course you need a second round to decide if this guy is boyfriend material. But if the first date isn’t a horror story, that doesn’t always mean that you have to see the guy again. If you don’t feel anything or were even super bored, wondering what you could be watching on Netflix, that’s totally a good reason to never see him again. Listen to your gut and think about how you truly feel.
13Make Smart Decisions
It’s a good idea to decide what’s really important to you. Do you want a guy who loves his job as much as you do? Someone who lives on his own, pays his own bills, cleans his apartment and stocks the fridge — you know, is a grown-up and takes care of himself? Make smart decisions about who you spend your time with and don’t just give your heart to anyone.
12Think About Your BFF
Think about who you think your best friend in the world should be with and the kind of advice that you give her when it’s girls’ night out and you’re gabbing over cocktails. You wouldn’t tell her to keep seeing a guy who never made plans or was super lazy or didn’t seem to see her true value. Turn that around on you and don’t date guys like that, either.
When a guy shows you and tells you that he doesn’t want to be with you for real, believe him. Don’t look back. Guys who don’t want relationships or are totally terrified of commitment might be a total cliche by now and it may be a super old story but that doesn’t mean these types of people don’t still exist. You’ll meet guys who want something real, just believe in yourself.
It’s not a great idea to waste your time with a guy who’s bad for you, but it’s not great to dump someone who doesn’t live up to your sky-high expectations, either. Basically, you need to have some kind of middle ground here. Be realistic about the kind of person you’re looking for. It’s one thing to want someone who’s a hard worker, but don’t discount someone because they have a job you’d never dream of doing.
9Stop The Games
We don’t think of girls as game players and we usually blame the other gender for that, but lots of girls can play games. Don’t wait to text a guy back. If you like him and he feels the same way and you have a real shot at something, why wait? He’s not going to think you’re a loser because you answered him, he’s going to be super excited to hear from you.
8Guard Your Schedule
If you give up your Friday nights for guys who are jerks, then you only have yourself to blame. You’re a busy woman and you don’t have those hours to give up, so don’t waste your own time. Save your date nights for guys who deserve to spend time with you and you’ll attract the right guy.
You don’t want to date a downer and guys don’t want girls who hate their lives and everyone, either. Be positive and stay optimistic, not only about your search for love (no matter how long it’s taking) but also about the rest of your life. That really will lead you to an equally positive guy.
6Don’t Give Up
It’s easy to think that just because you go on a bad date or two lately that you should give up and stop dating. But why would you do that? Giving up is never a good idea. It’ll make you feel pretty awful and you’ll never really feel good about that decision, even if it feels good in the moment. Don’t give up and stay the course. You really will meet someone.
5Forget Your Type
Everyone has a certain kind of person that they like more than others, whether it’s all about looks or intellect or interests/personality. You’ve probably heard that it’s not all that awesome to be super picky and that’s 100 percent true. If you really want your dream guy to appear, then why not forget your type (at least for the time being) and date all kinds of people? You really have no idea. It could work, it could not, but at least you did your best.
4Forget Dating Sometimes
This may seem like a waste of your time but it really isn’t. You can’t go on dates every moment of the day, after all, and putting pressure on yourself isn’t going to help matters either. Forget dating sometimes and have more fun and be thankful for your life. Even if you’re not happy with being boyfriend-less, you’re probably living a pretty awesome life, so it’s good to remind yourself of that all the time.
Blind dates, speed dating, Tinder, OkCupid, meeting random guys on the street. Okay, maybe not that last one. But if you really want to meet the right guy, you have to be open to wherever you could possibly meet him, and you can’t be stubborn.
2Remember Why You Want Love
It’s no secret that you won’t automatically have the most perfect and Pinterest-Worthy life if you get a boyfriend. So it’s good to remember why you even want love in the first place. Do you want a companion, best friend, someone to share every moment and success and failure with? That’s a good start, for sure.
1Remember Who You Are
Love may be great and all, and it definitely makes your life full. But you’re a cool, amazing, important person, and you should never forget who you are. Just because you don’t have a boyfriend right now doesn’t make you a loser. And when you do find love, that doesn’t mean you have to totally forget who you are and what makes you you. As long as you can remember what you love and what’s at the core of your being, you should be totally fine, no matter how long it takes to meet your soulmate.