We aren’t supposed to judge a guy when we first start getting to know him, but sometimes it can be hard. There is a lot that you can tell about a guy’s apartment on your first visit, and the same would go for a woman’s apartment. You can learn a lot about someone when you visit their home for the first time.
In the early stages of dating, you are both looking to make a good first impression. After all, that is what’s going to determine whether or not casual dating turns into a relationship.
There are signs that point to who a person is and what stage of life they are going through right in their home. It could be simple things that give you signs such as whether it’s just a bachelor pad or a stylized apartment. You can also see whether your guy has grown up at all or whether he’s still immature.
Take a note of the things in his home because it will give you an idea on who he is and whether he will complement your life. Check out these 16 things to look for in his home that say he’s not ready for a relationship (& 5 he is).
21He’s Not Ready: Posters On The Wall
Remember how Dawson had movie posters all over his room in Dawson’s Creek? Well he was a teenager then, and as we saw him grown up the posters came down and more mature pieces were added to his room.
This is the natural progression of life, and you certainly wouldn’t expect to see posters of any kind on a man’s wall.
If he still has posters of his favorite band or movie on his bedroom wall, then he just may not have grown up yet. Of course, there are some exceptions to the rule, but the nature of the posters will also give you hints!
20He’s Not Ready: Dirty Clothes Everywhere
Some guys just can’t seem to find the hamper when it comes to their dirty clothes and some guys don’t even own a hamper. If you ended up at his apartment and there is clothing thrown about, or you see a pair of his underwear at the end of the bed, that might be a bad sign. A guy who hasn’t learned to pick up after himself by now may never learn. He may not be boyfriend material and you may find yourself picking up for him for as long as you are with him. You might also be doing his laundry.
19He’s Not Ready: Empty Bags Of Chips
Empty bags of chips or any other type of food items lying around is just plain gross. Who doesn’t love a good bag of chips, but you don’t want to see them all over his apartment. It’s the kind of thing that would make you wonder if he cleans up after himself at all.
What’s worse, is that you might wonder how he can live like that, with garbage literally under his feet.
Again, this is a situation where you might end up becoming his maid instead of his girlfriend because you wouldn’t want to live that way.
18He’s Ready: He’s Got A Couch
You might be thinking; well what else would he have? A futon, of course. The one thing that you don’t want to find in your new guy’s apartment is a futon. Those types of couches are the ones that you get when you are first starting out in life and you can’t afford a full-sized couch. It’s also what you see in a bachelor pad. If he’s an adult he should really have a real couch. If he can’t commit to a real couch, then you might wonder if he’s really ready to be in a serious relationship.
17He’s Not Ready: He Only Has Junk Food In The House
If he only has junk food in the house, or dare we say just condiments, you might as well just say goodnight. He’s not able to take care of himself so he’s just not someone you want to be in a relationship with.
If all he eats is junk food, does he really have his life together?
Junk food is great at certain times, but when you are an adult you have to start taking care of yourself. Junk food is fine every once in a while, but if you live a healthy lifestyle, it’s going to be really hard to date someone who eats junk all the time.
16He’s Not Ready: He’s Got A Ton Of Video Games
Having a few video games or one gaming system isn’t the end of the world in a relationship. But If you walk in and it’s clear that he’s a gamer or that he plays video games all the time, you might want to reconsider things. It’s fine to be into video games (both girls and guys are), but if that’s his only hobby and his job doesn’t come first (and he better have one!), that’s a bad sign. If he is super into gaming, then you better decide to get into it, too, otherwise, you may not see him very often.
15He’s Not Ready: Mountains Of Garbage
What would you do if you walk into his home and there are mountains of garbage piling out of the kitchen and bathroom garbage? Chances are you would be pretty grossed out.
Some guys who live alone or with friends get lazy and don’t take out the garbage right away.
Obviously, as his girlfriend, you would not think this is cool, especially if you wind up taking care of the mess. It’s a sign of immaturity if a guy can’t take his own garbage out. So you can bet things would still be in the same if you were in a serious relationship.
14He’s Ready: You See Some Of Your Own Stuff At His Place
Are you able to leave stuff at his place? If there are times that you have left a sweater there, a toothbrush or something personal, and it stays, that’s a positive sign. If he doesn’t mind that your stuff is at his place, then you can bet that he’s probably ready for a relationship. Usually, if a guy freaks out about your stuff being in his house is because he either doesn’t want another girl to know or he’s not ready to get serious. So, if he’s comfortable with you and your stuff, then that’s a good sign.
13He’s Not Ready: He Has Roommates
A man that still has roommates may not be ready for something serious. Being in a serious relationship certainly leads to some big changes like moving in together or getting married, while houses full of guys are usually more interested in beer pong and video games.
A guy who is still living with his bros is likely not thinking about big changes or commitment.
If you are dating a guy that lives on his own, that means he is financially stable and ready for bigger commitments. If he has roommates, it’s not the end of the world, but just take the situation for what it is.
12He’s Not Ready: He Has A Mattress On The Floor
This is probably an obvious one. A guy that has a mattress on the floor as opposed to a proper bed is still acting like a boy and not a man. Beds are expensive, certainly, but it’s immature to sleep on the floor instead of getting an actual bed. There are ways around spending thousands of dollars on a bed, but if it’s a financial thing you might want to ask yourself if you want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t have everything together. You will start to wonder why he doesn’t have a real bed.
11He’s Not Ready: There’s A Pizza Menu On The Fridge
Not everyone has a pizza menu up on their fridge. Sure, we probably all order pizza at some point in our lives but we usually look up a number on our phone if we need it.
If you walk into his kitchen and there is a pizza menu sitting prominently on the fridge, then it could mean that your guy orders pizza a lot.
He may hate to cook, or he may decide he never cooks. Sure, it’s a fallback for anyone who is too tired to cook, but it shouldn’t happen all the time. It may also indicate that he doesn’t live a healthy lifestyle.
10He’s Ready: He Has A Picture Of You
Nothing warms the heart more than walking in your guys home and seeing that he has a picture of you on his fridge or, even better, framed and sitting on his bedside table. You can bet you have nothing to worry about in regards to whether your relationship is moving forward if he has a picture of you presented somewhere in his home. A guy that is afraid to show you off is the one that isn’t ready for a relationship. But if he has a picture of you out in the open then you can breathe a sigh of relief.
9He’s Not Ready: He Still Has Items From His Last Relationship
If you visit his place and he still has pictures or items from his last girlfriend, then it is safe to say that he hasn’t moved on. Moving on from his past has to happen first in order for you two to have a future. It sucks going into a guy’s home and discovering things from his past because it almost pauses your relationship at that moment.
If he was over his last girlfriend, he would have gotten rid of all that stuff by now.
There really should be no reason to have photos of his ex-girlfriend and knick-knacks from their time together around if he is dating someone new.
8He’s Not Ready: There Is A Pile Of Dirty Dishes All The Time
First impressions are everything, so if you go to your guy’s home and see a pile of dirty dishes in the sink, you can bet that he really doesn’t care what you think of him. You will probably ask yourself why he didn’t bother to clean up when he knew you were coming over. It’s a sign of immaturity and lack of respect. If he doesn’t try to clean things up or even try to impress you, then what does that say about him? He sure won’t bother to try and impress you later on in the relationship either.
7He’s Not Ready: He Keeps Everything
Is your new guy a hoarder? Does he keep absolutely everything? Imagine yourself going to a guy’s house and seeing loose change everywhere, bills, magazines, and just about everything laying on every surface of the house.
If your man doesn’t throw anything out, that could be a sign of immaturity.
Part of growing up is learning to take care of yourself and keeping your home clean. You have to throw out the things that need to be thrown out. Keeping everything can also mean he doesn’t know how to let go of the past, something to take note of.
6He’s Ready: There’s A Bookshelf
If you go into your guy’s house and you don’t see a bookshelf or even a lone book in his house, you can bet he’s not a reader. That may be okay if you don’t read yourself, but most women like to read. Your guy doesn’t have to be a voracious reader but usually, there is still a bookshelf in their home. If you are a huge reader, you won’t like finding out that your guy has zero interest in literature. It’s attractive when you find out that your man loves learning and getting immersed in a story, so a bookshelf is a great sign.
5He’s Not Ready: There Is Dust Everywhere
If the one thing that you notice about your guy’s apartment is all the dust, then good luck. You would probably feel pretty weird if you set down your belongings and dust started flying in the air. It’s not an attractive quality and it’s just a sign of laziness, plus a sign he’s likely not home often.
You might not want to date him after that and you certainly wouldn’t want to go back to his apartment if it’s that unclean.
You may really like this guy, but seeing a guy’s house like that may really make you think twice.
4He’s Not Ready: Makeshift Furniture
We always see furniture on Instagram and social media in people’s homes where we think, “that looks really cool!” But in reality, having makeshift furniture made from pieces of wood or a pile of books isn’t really that practical. Guys that have coffee tables made from books can appear to be immature. A professional man certainly wouldn’t have that type of furniture in his home. There are plenty of ways to find good deals on real furniture and most people would expect the guy they are dating to have real furniture in his home if he’s truly grown.
3He’s Not Ready: He Keeps Clothes That Don’t Fit
Most people, when they realize they have grown out of clothing, will either throw the clothing out, sell it, or give it away. There really is no point in keeping old clothes because they don’t fit anymore.
It can certainly be hard to let go of favorite items, but the adult in us knows it’s something we must do.
That’s all part of growing up. If your guy keeps all his clothing no matter if it fits or not, you would probably think that was a little strange. It may make you wonder why he can’t let certain things go.
2He’s Ready: He Owns His Home
If your man is a homeowner instead of someone who is renting his home, then he’s that much more likely to make a commitment. He’s already settled in a home and is responsible enough to pay a mortgage, so it’s unlikely that he would be still acting like a little boy. It’s always a good sign when a guy is responsible enough to get into home ownership instead of renting. He may also be open to getting into a relationship since his home life is relatively stable and he probably has a plan for his future as he’s already settled down.
1He’s Not Ready: He Never Replaces His Clothing
You can see why this might be a little disturbing. Most people will purchase new socks and underwear when holes or wear develop. But believe it or not, there are some guys that don’t do this. It can be a pain to replace these things, but we do it anyway because we like to take care of our appearance.
If you notice your guy has a bunch of socks and underwear that have holes in them, you are going to question why that is.
It’s weird and just plain lazy. He may be just used to his mom taking care of this for him, a surefire sign he’s not yet mature enough to handle his own wardrobe, let alone a relationship.