You meet the perfect man, but he lives hundreds, if not, thousands of miles away. Some women don’t even go there, it is unknown territory where distance plays the villain in their stories and so… they don’t even give it a chance.
Some women have tried it only for their love story to become a tragedy and swear never to do it again. They are the ones that will generally speak horrors about long distance relationships.
Other brave women around the world sink into the wonderful cascades of foreign love that quickly turn into waterfalls of tears when the distance kicks in. Their minds then become whirlpools of doubt and questions “What should I expect? Will it work?”
What you’re about to find out is unlike anything you’ve ever read before. It’s not about rainbows and sunshine’s, or tragedies and villains. This is about a more truthful insight into things you didn’t but should know about long distance relationships.
Whether you’re in a long distance relation or not, you’ll want to read this. You never know when love will come knocking at your door and you shouldn’t close it if he says Bonjour, Hola or Ciao.
16 You Talk and You Listen, That is How You Get to Know Each Other Better
You can’t go out to dinner, the movies or parties together. Heck! You can’t even touch him, so all you have is a screen and a phone.
You talk and you listen! When your attention isn’t being stolen by other things happening around you, you give your other half you’re undivided attention and vice versa. Those endless hours on a screen talking about your day, dreams, experiences, likes and dislikes all teach you more about him, and in the same way he learns more about you.
A “normal” relationship can many times miss this crucial part, which is actually getting to know the other person and learning to communicate effectively. They become so wrapped up in their daily lives and activities that they forget to actually talk and not just chat.
15 It Teaches You To Fullfill Other Needs Besides Sex
Sex is important! I wont deny it. In a long distance relationship, sex is out of the question.
In a traditional close distance relationship sex is a big part of a relationship. Sometimes it even becomes so important that the relationship is just based on sex. Other needs can become neglected such as emotional, mental, intellectual or spiritual ones.
According to a study by researcher Dean Busby of Brigham Young University’s School of Family Life “What seems to happen is that if couples become sexual too early, this very rewarding area of the relationship overwhelms good decision-making and keeps couples in a relationship that might not be the best for them in the long-run.”
Your long distance relationship might be lacking physical action, but you know your relationship is based in satisfying other more important needs as well.
14 If It Doesn’t Work Out You Can’t Blame the Distance
It’s very common when a long distance relationship doesn’t work out for people to blame the distance. The truth is that it’s not the distances fault, it’s the fault of the people involved. It takes two to tango.
The reasons why a long distance relationship might not work are plenty; infidelity, lack of commitment, determination, instability or simply, the love is not as great as first imagined.
For whatever reason a long distance relationship doesn’t work, it resides in the couple involved. If a relationship can´t survive a few hundred or thousand miles then how can it be expected to survive decades?
Life WILL bring tests to every couple; some couple’s first test is the distance.
13 You Practice Independence
We tend to rely on our partners in many ways. Sometimes it’s changing a light bulb or company for a Saturday night.
There are millions of women in the world that can´t imagine their life without their partner. They rely on them for more than they should, and if their partner goes away on a business trip they can feel like their world is crumbling down.
A long distance relationship teaches you to do everything on your own; your partner is so far away that they can do little to help you out. You change your own light bulbs (or pay someone to do it). Whatever it is you find a way of getting things done, you rely on yourself and maybe just seek the emotional support through a screen.
12 You Get Quality Time With Friends and Family
You probably have that friend that can´t do anything without bringing her partner, or the one that misses out on spending time with friends and family because all she does is spend time with her significant other.
Of course it’s nice having your boyfriend around for family dinners and parties but when you’re with him you don’t hang out in the same way with others. Your attention is divided between your partner and the world.
When you’re in a long distance relationship you get to spend more time with your friends and family. You get plenty of time to have that nice family dinner or to catch up with your friends and give them your undivided attention while enjoying good quality time with them.
11 It’s More Fulfilling Than You Can Think
People tend to focus more on the negative aspects of a long distance relationship than the good side of it. There are many tears involved, along with many departures. However, there are many smiles as well, that come with many arrivals.
As in any healthy relationship, a long distance relationship can be fulfilling and it carries an intensity to it that will never be known by those who have never been in a long distance relationship.
You overcome a BIG obstacle, which is distance and it strengthens the bond between the two of you. It forges a determination and intimacy that fills you with a gratifying feeling.
10 Just Because You’re Apart It Doesn’t Mean It’s Not Real
Those who say that a long distance relationship is not a real relationship have either never been in one or failed terribly in one.
It is a REAL relationship because there are two people involved that love each other. They talk, they cry, they smile and they share. Sharing your life with someone is more than simply living in the same house together. I’ve had multiple roommates in my life and I didn’t share my life with them.
A long distance relationship has struggles, it has fights, it has reconciliations and determination. The feelings and emotions involved in a long distance relationship are just as real as those felt in a close distance one.
9 It’s Not a Fairy Tale
Hollywood has done a great job glamorizing and idolizing long distance relationships. Where love strives and couples get to reunite after a long time and they live happily ever after.
Arrivals are romantic and they ARE very happy, however once you’ve conquered the distance and get to be together in the same city other problems will arise, just like in every other relationship.
It’s not a happily ever after with rainbows and sunshines. There is happiness, sadness, fights, reconciliations and you know the drill. Married life!
Although, having to fight so strongly to be together does give long distance relationships a stronger bond to work to get over life’s challenges.
8 You’ll Get A LOT of Criticism
Everyone will have an opinion regarding your relationship. Don’t listen to them! They have no idea what you’re relationship is about, only you and your partner truly know what happens, where you’re standing and what it is about.
It is very easy for people to assume stuff because they’ve heard it from someone else or because they went through something similar. Just because it resembles someone else’s relationship doesn’t mean it is the same as yours.
Just like how every relationship is different, the same goes when it comes to long distance relationships. Don’t let third parties get involved regarding the future of your relationship. They are not you, and only you know what your facing.
7 You Learn to Manage Your Time Efficiently
When you’re in a “normal” relationship it’s very common to just call your partner and ask him to meet you for a few spare hours.
When you live together it’s common to simply forget to do things together, maybe go out to a movie or dinner. You see him more often so it’s easy to just give the other your spare time instead of making time.
When you’re in a long distance relationship YOU HAVE TO MAKE TIME. You manage your time a lot better as well. Time differences are sort of a general rule, when it’s 1 P.M. for you is 5 A.M. for him. It’s crucial to find a time of the day when you can both talk comfortably.
You learn to set hours and to get things done before your Skype date. You become an expert in schedules and time management.
6 You Have to be VERY Careful Not to Idolize Him
Of course you know him better after talking so much, however, you still have a BIG challenge ahead if you haven’t lived full time with him.
Seeing someone through a screen, on weekends or vacations and actually living together are completely different things. When all you have is a screen you miss out on other very important learning experiences.
Many become surprised when they finally get to be together and they become disappointed or realize they actually don’t like their partner. This is mostly common when you idolize you’re other half. It’s hard to see many cracks and flaws when you only talk for a few hours a day or when you’re only seeing him for a limited time.
5 Trust is Essential
Most of the time you wont know where he is, what he’s doing or who he’s with. He’ll go out with his friends and meet girls. You have to trust him.
It is one of the biggest challenges, having to trust so fully in your partner and holding no control whatsoever over his behavior. In a “normal” relationship you could go through his messages and at least know if he gets back from work late or if he smells like another persons perfume.
In a long distance relationship all you can do is just trust and hope for the best. This however, is a healthy challenge in your relationship, especially because it will forge an even deeper level of trust when you finally get to be together.
4 You Learn To Give Up on Instant Gratification
A moment always comes when you think that it would be a lot easier if you found someone in your own city. You wouldn’t have to put up with all the drama that’s involved in a long distance relationship.
However, this would be looking for the “easy” way out: instant gratification. It’s giving up the man of your dreams and settling for the next thing that comes along just so you can hold someone’s hand and go out to dinner.
In a long distance relationship you know you have to endure time and distance but that it’s rewarded when you see him and hopefully with a future together.
3 The Small Things Become The Big Things
A text, a letter, or a photo. You learn to treasure and value things you never imagine would mean so much, like receiving a surprise hand written letter, or a new photo on his Facebook newsfeed. These become the highlight of your day regarding your relationship.
When you get to see him, even if it’s for a weekend, you don’t take “normal” things for granted like holding hands or getting to whisper into his ear “I love you.” Wrapping your arms around him means the world to you and you come to realize how easy most couples have it. This is why you treasure the “little” things more.
2 Stop Whining About The Distance
Yes! Its hard! Deal with it. You’ve found love.
He’s far away, you miss him, it’s sometimes unbearable, but… YOU’VE FOUND LOVE! Feel lucky that you are fortunate enough to be in a relationship that brings out your determination and enthusiasm, that you have found someone you love enough to fight for and to endure such an excruciating experience such as long distance love.
Maybe a few months, weeks or days before you met him you were wondering when would you meet your other half? Well… maybe this is the one and he lives on the other side of the planet but hey! If he’s alive and you’re alive then fight for it.
1 Patience is Your Best Friend
Patience. It might take months or even years. But what is meant to be will find its way through adversity.
Patience is all you have to rely on. When the distance gets unbearable and you would rather quit than go on, just remember to keep your patience. If it’s amazing love you can´t live without and your partner is everything you had even wished for, then he/she is worth the wait and the struggle.
There are millions of couples worldwide that don’t have the difficulty of being miles apart. They get to hold their partner in their arms every day, but they don’t know the amazing feeling of waiting and finally getting to kiss after who knows how long.
That incredible feeling when you lay next to him and realize you made it, and that you’re finally together. When that moment comes you understand the importance of patience and that every second you were apart was worth it.
The best things in life don’t come easy; they require hard work, tears and struggle. They face adversity and obstacles but above all things, they require patience.