Sometimes, you just know it.
You don’t know how, but you feel it in your gut, and something tells you that your partner is cheating on you.
You try confronting your partner about it, but they swat your concerns away and tell you that you’re just being paranoid.
Ever been there?
Are you convinced that your spouse is cheating on you, even though you can’t find any proof of it?
Of course, sometimes you may be going overboard with your paranoia, especially if you’re rather clingy and insecure to begin with.[Read: 13 clingy girlfriend signs that’ll ruin your relationship]
But what if, by some miniscule margin, your instincts do turn out to be right eventually?
The fact that you doubt your partner is a sign that things aren’t all rosy in romance land.
And just suppressing your doubts and fears, and pretending like everything’s perfectly normal won’t help you at all.
In fact, it’ll just tear both of you apart from the inside because there’s no more trust in the relationship.
Is your partner cheating on you?
There are just two ways to get the nagging worry out of your head. One, you talk about it with your lover and get a convincing answer from them. Or secondly, you sneak around discreetly and try to get some proof of your partner’s philandering ways *if any*.
If you feel insecure in a relationship, always talk to your partner and tell them what you feel. Sometimes, it may just be a silly misunderstanding. And communication always helps sort things out, even if one of you is on the verge of looking out for an affair. [Read: The 10 biggest problems in a relationship and ten ways to fix them all]
But if your doubts don’t get erased even after the conversation, then perhaps, the only way to get the real answers is by snooping around and looking for clues when your partner is too busy doing their own thing.
18 ingenious ways to catch a cheating partner
Confronting a serial cheater or a guiltless cheater never helps, because no matter how much you cry or remind them how much you love them, they’re just too selfish to think about anyone but themselves. So instead of confronting your lover every night, take it easy and let your partner assume that all is well and forgotten.
After all, you can’t catch a cheating lover when they’re being cautious and on guard. Just pretend like everything’s normal and watch how your partner behaves around you over the next few weeks.[Read: 13 secret signs your boyfriend isn’t over his ex yet] [Read: 14 subtle and discreet signs your girlfriend isn’t over her ex yet]
Once your partner thinks you don’t suspect them anymore, use these 18 signs and ways to catch a cheating partner to catch your lover in the act!
#1 Watch the signs. Do you see a change in your partner’s behavior recently? Have they started working out, dressing better, or started using a new seductive intense evening perfume? They may have no reason for the changes, and almost always, these changes may seem very spontaneous.
#2 Drop by unannounced. Every now and then, drop by unannounced to their workplace or come back home early. Don’t make it obvious that you’re just spying on them. Instead, always have a great excuse to walk in unannounced. If your partner is cheating on you, the first thing they’d do *instead of welcoming you with a smile* is hide something or appear surprised or even angry! [Read: 3 big reasons and 27 excuses behind why men cheat!]
#3 Check their recycle bin. The garbage is a great place to dispose of things. And sometimes, it also has a lot of clues. If your partner is on the computer often, check the computer’s recycle bin often. Chances are, there may be another person’s photo or a little snippet of information that could be of some use.
#4 Snoop on their phone. Does your partner carry their cell phone with them wherever they go, even if it’s a trip to the loo? If that’s happening in your relationship, there’s a good chance your partner’s up to something. Take a peek into their cell phone when you get the chance, especially when they’ve put the phone on charge.
Erased phone logs, a password protected phone, several calls to the same unknown numbers, or phone bills without detailed call information are all good signs that your partner is trying to hide something.
#5 Spontaneous . This works better if you’re a girl, and dating a guy. If your boyfriend or husband comes home late from any unexpected delay, try to have spontaneous with them when they get back home. If your guy gets angry, pushes you away or tries avoiding it at all costs, chances are, he may be exhausted down there. He could always wash himself up before getting home, but getting it up immediately and blowing a huge load, that’s not the easiest thing to do!
#6 Follow after a fight. Most cheating partners intentionally try to pick fights, slam the door and walk away, because it makes a great excuse to slip out of the house and meet their adulterous lover. If your partner’s been picking fights and walking out of the house often recently, try to follow them on the pretense of apologizing *if they see you following them*. [Read: 10 tips to fight fair in love and get closer after a fight]
#7 Change your sleeping habits. If your partner’s cheating on you, their sleeping habits may change almost overnight. They may stay up longer using the excuse of work, or you may catch them sneaking around the house late at night. Pretend like you’re asleep as soon as you hit the bed, and try to see if your partner’s up to something. Do they get out of bed for long periods of time?
And it’s not just late nights you need to think about. Some cheating partners may even wake up really early and get on the phone, especially if they realize you suspect them.
#8 Does your partner want space? Space is something all of us need in a relationship, whether we accept it or not. But has your partner started getting fiercely protective about their space recently? Do they hate answering questions about where they’ve been or what they’ve been up to? It’s definitely a small warning sign. [Read: How to give the right kind of space and prevent your partner from straying]
#9 They get jumpy. Try walking in on your partner when they least expect it without announcing yourself, especially if they’ve been by themselves for a while. Does your partner act jumpy or nervous when you walk in on them, especially if they’re over the phone or in front of their computer? They were probably doing something and they don’t want you to know what it was.
#10 Changes in schedule. All of a sudden, your partner may stay out a lot of nights on work, or have a lot of get-togethers on their social calendar with their friends. If your partner doesn’t ever invite you with their friends, or if they claim to be very busy working and still look fresh and happy when they get home, your partner’s probably up to something. [Read: 18 emotional affair signs you probably didn’t even notice!]
#11 The phone etiquette. Your partner suddenly needs a lot of space while talking over the phone. They either sound awkward or they walk away from you to the next room while talking over the phone with a few people. You may even find text messages from random numbers with random texts in them.
Remember, when people cheat, they could always store the other lover’s number under another name, and use code words to interact with each other when they miss each other!
#12 Gadgets. Your partner has changed most of their passwords, even if you thought you knew all of them. And even when you ask them for the new password, they make an excuse to hide it from you. And sometimes, you may see that they position their computer facing away from you, and they would never do that before. [Confessions: Having an unexpected affair with a married man turned me into a home wrecker!]
#13 Grooming habits. Hitting the gym, wearing new clothes and perfume are all signs your partner wants to look better. But are they going overboard with their appearances? Has your partner started grooming themselves down there meticulously all of a sudden, even though they aren’t keen on doing something with you?
#14 Sneaking away. Does your partner sneak out of the house every now and then, using the silliest of excuses? “I’m driving down to the store to get something…” “My friends are catching up around the corner…” “I’m bored, I’m going for a drive…” or something along those lines?
That’s alright though. But when you offer to tag along, what does your partner say? Do they make an excuse to go alone? That’s fishy, don’t you think? [Read: Emotional cheating and 10 bad ways it can ruin a cheater’s life]
4 shady and sneaky unethical ways to catch a cheating lover
Now the earlier 14 signs would definitely help you find out if your partner’s cheating on you with someone else. But if you want to nail them, you’re going to have to catch them in the act. And there’s no way you can do that unless you walk in on your partner with the person they’re cheating on you with. But if you do choose to go spy-mode and use a few unethical ways, here are four ways to nail your partner’s cheating backside in no time.
But try these ways only if you’re already certain your partner’s cheating on you. These steps are great to catch them, but if they aren’t cheating on you and it was just a false alarm, your partner may feel extremely hurt by your actions! [Read: Should you ever confess to cheating on your partner?]
#15 Hidden cameras. Place a spycam in the room where your partner hangs out most often when they want alone time. If they’re over the phone or doing some funny business behind your back, you’ll know soon enough.
#16 Create a fake profile. Create a fake profile and log on to websites that promote cheating spouses and see if your partner’s using one of them. Or for starters, just create a fake facebook profile and add a lot of random friends to make your account seem legitimate.
And then, send an invite to your partner and get friendly with them. And over a few days or weeks, start flirting with them and see how they respond to you. Are they interested in meeting up or hooking up? [Read: Is revenge a good way to get back at a cheating partner?]
#17 Keyloggers. Keyloggers are software that you can download off the net *some free and some for a price*. Some of these keyloggers, especially the paid versions, can be installed in a computer and the person using it would never know it’s running in the background.
These programs can record whatever you want, the passwords they use, the letters they type, the pages they visit, or even record a video of the screen as they use the computer. You can also download a few paid apps over your phone and install a secret app in your partner’s phone to keep track of their calls too. [Read: How to end an affair and get over it completely]
#18 GPS device. Are you the one who wants to catch your partner red handed? Then the stalker mode may work for you! Pick up a tiny GPS device that can be fixed to the underside of your partner’s car. You can track their movements and pounce on them when their pants are around their ankles in a sleazy motel out of town! [Read: How to confess to cheating on your partner the right way]
Use these 18 ways on how to catch a cheating partner, and there’s no way a cheater can get away with their adulterous ways. But remember, don’t use the last four ways unless you’re certain your partner’s cheating on you already and you just want to confront them in the act!