We have all heard about the “guy code,” which really can sometimes disgust us, but rarely do we speak about a “girl code.” Why is that?
Likely it is because not many of us live by the same rules. Girls can be very vicious, vindictive and hurtful creatures. If you want to have friends and be a friend, there are certain things that you have to do to create honesty, stave away competition, and set standards for yourself and those you associate with.
Girl code rules all girls need to live by
To live a life that isn’t bogged down by girl drama, make a vow to follow these 20 most crucial girl code rules.
#1 Don’t talk badly about others. Women can be like a pack of wolves. All someone has to do is bring up someone that isn’t there, and suddenly everyone is ravaging them, tearing them apart, and spilling secrets that they vowed they wouldn’t.
The rule to live by is that if someone is talking badly about someone else to you, they are talking badly about you to someone else. If you choose not to join in and don’t say anything bad, it will never come back to bite you in the ass. As hard as it is to do, ignore it and move along instead of joining in.
#2 Bless your heart is a not a license to gossip. In the South, there is a phrase everyone uses, “bless her heart.” For those who don’t know, it is code for “what I am going to say is not going to be nice and I shouldn’t say it.” It is along the same line as “I am only telling you because I am worried.”
If you really are just worried, then talk to that person directly and help them. Gossiping is ugly no matter what guise you put it under. Don’t excuse your own bad behavior by making it sound like you are just trying to be kind.
#3 Drop the jealousy. Most of the time when we are nasty to each other, it is because we are jealous. No one likes to watch another girl excel or steal all the attention, but it isn’t their fault. Making up rumors, talking about her, or trying to knock her down a notch, is not going to benefit you or boost you in any way.
#4 If you have a problem with “a,” talk to “a” about it. Women are notorious for going behind each other’s back when they are upset. If someone upsets you, don’t turn to another friend to try to make an alliance by getting them on your side, work it out with the person who hurt your feelings.
Nothing good comes from trying to settle the score by teaming. What happens is that she gets someone on her side, then you get another, and before you know it, there is a big rift. If she said that she didn’t like your dress, either deal with it, or simply say “that was shitty.”
#5 It isn’t a competition. Not everything between women has to be a competition. If one of your friends is better at something than you, let her have it. We all have our strengths and weaknesses; it doesn’t demean you to compliment another person.
#6 Be true. Try to be honest with others and yourself. If you find that you are upset with another girl, look inside yourself to find what the real issue is. Don’t resort to playing games, avoiding them, or saying “nothing” if they ask you what is wrong.
Just be true to your friendship and yourself and say what is on your mind. A friend is someone who can have thick shoulders when they need to, apologize when they should, or defend their actions when they didn’t mean to offend you. They can’t ever make the situation right if you stew about it and never give them a chance.
#7 Don’t go after someone else’s guy. Need I say more? If you know someone is attached, even if they are on shaky ground, steer clear. Live by the “I wouldn’t want it done to me” phrase and you can’t ever go wrong.
#8 Stop targeting people. Projection is a psychological term that means we project onto others what we either don’t like about ourselves or the problems that we have that we don’t want to face. If you have unresolved anger over something, don’t use someone as the target of your jealousy, your anger, or your feelings of insecurity.
#9 Don’t text another girl’s man. Enough said, if he is not your guy, you should not be blowing up his phone. Let’s be real; it is very rare that a girl and a guy are nothing more than friends, or don’t have feelings for one another. He has tons of friends, and so do you, don’t cause trouble in his relationship or cause his girlfriend to feel insecure.
#10 You don’t have to be the center of attention. We all know the girl who has to be the center of attention, don’t be her. There is a time and place for you to stand out, figure out when that is, and let someone else have a turn every once in a while.
If you continually have to be the focus, you will find that people will want to be around you less and less. Share the spotlight; hogging it isn’t worth it. You don’t need the attention of others to feel good about yourself.
#11 Don’t tell a girl to tell the world. Biggest girl code EVER, if someone tells you something and says “don’t tell anyone,” DON’T. I am going to go one step further, if someone tells you something and you know that it is private, don’t tell anyone.
#12 Take responsibility. If you get called out, tell the truth and take responsibility. Girls are very good at shifting the blame or playing the victim. If you want to be a good friend, take responsibility for what you said or what you did. It is much easier just to admit your wrongdoing and apologize than to ruin a friendship or end up feeling shitty about what you did. If she is your friend and you say you are sorry, likely she will forgive you.
#13 Defend your friends. If you hear someone talking about a friend of yours, not only is it your duty not to join in, it is your obligation to defend her. You would want someone in your corner when you are not there, wouldn’t you?
Sometimes, standing up and saying “quit it”, or correcting the record are very difficult things, but in the end, you will feel much better about yourself and won’t wrongly be quoted, associated, or called out for not saying something when you had the chance.
#14 Choose not to get involved. If other girls have a problem with one another, choose not to get involved. You don’t have to take a stand and make it known, just be neutral.
You can be a good friend and allow someone to vent; the key is to stay above it all and not insert your opinion or yourself into the situation. Remember, you only hear one side. If you give your two cents, and they make up, the other person will likely hear what you said, and it is going to end up in a whole mess of trouble.
#15 Take the high road. If you know someone has been talking badly about you, take the higher road. You aren’t going to get anywhere by returning the favor or talking badly about them. Make it known to whoever told you the information that you aren’t going to let it bother you.
#16 Don’t scheme. Women are notorious schemers. In fact, there are times when we lay in bed at night thinking about how we are going to get back at someone, or what we are going to do to combat an adversary.
If you don’t learn to let things go, or just let them sit and stew, you are not only wasting a whole lot of energy; you are being a person you don’t want to be. If someone hurt your feelings, you have two choices, confront them, or let it go; revenge is rarely the answer.
#17 Stay away from social media drama. Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, whatever it is that you are using, don’t involve yourself or be the instigator of drama on social media sites, period. Choose to keep your nose clean by not thumbing up, commenting, or even acknowledging something that would hurt someone’s feelings or isn’t favorable to other people in your life.
#18 Play with the boys. When in doubt, play with the boys. Boys are much easier going, they really don’t say anything behind each other’s back that they won’t say to their face, and if they have a problem with you *which they probably won’t ever*, they aren’t going to bad talk you.
#19 Like yourself. If you like yourself, then you won’t worry so much about what everyone else is doing or what someone else is saying about you. If you are true to yourself and true to the people in your life, then what others do and have to say can’t hurt you. It is only when someone can target our insecurities that we can be hurt. Love yourself and don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks.
#20 Focus on you. Don’t waste the energy worrying about what Britney did last Friday night, what do you care? If something doesn’t affect you, choose not to care. If you focus on yourself, what you are doing and how you feel, then nothing negative around you can touch you. It all just becomes noise to be ignored.