Always late in picking me up from school, or my ballet class, mum was always busy, running around errands, even for people she barely knew. At a certain point in my childhood, I started feeling neglected. Still, I had a mum who was active, played like a kid, and who at times would totally get me, even when I was wrong (Even if later on she would change her mind)… This woman has provided me with life lessons, which definitely fall on the life rules category. And you know what? She was right.
1. Life can always be good. When the going gets tough, and your world is falling apart, be brave enough to see the things that make you you, that make you whole and that keep your spirits high. The sun still shines bright behind the clouds. No matter what, you still have you.
2. You can never have too many friends. Every person is different, and every difference will help you evolve on personal level. You can gain things from all kinds of people, as long as they are gentle and willing to give. Under the condition of course, that you are willing to give and take too.
3. Family is important, but not as important as you. Sure, there is heritage, history, family roots. But when you find your true calling, do not hesitate to fly away and become who you really are. Family is important, it’s a step up to the world. But if you do not move your wings, how will you know how far you can go?
4. When you cannot avoid it, humor it. You are sometimes imposed with difficulties that you have to endure. Well, you might as well enjoy them. The trick is to think how you may benefit from each complication and track how things went wrong. Sometimes it’s your fault. Sometimes it’s not. Either way, when you rationalize situations, you can laugh off human stupidity. Even if that means admitting that you missed a spot.
5. Diplomacy is a weapon, and having it will take you very far. It could save your marriage, friendships, sanity and peace of mind. Sometimes you can say “Yes” by saying “No”, and vice versa.
6. Nothing is as important as you think right now. When the going gets tough, and problems are choking you, keep in mind that one hour later, one day later, one year later, none of these will matter. So try handling life with the tangibility that it deserves. Recall all those things you believed ten years ago to be serious problems in your everyday life. Remember crying over Johnny Depp? Or the perfect prom dress that was accidentally destroyed in the washing machine? What would you do if you lived in similar situations now? Advance your mind to you being you, years in the future. Actually you could laugh it off. And this time, it would be in advance.
7. Creation is compulsory in every aspect of your life. Whatever you do, make it unique. Give a little bit of yourself, do not be afraid; when you give from your heart, there are no regrets.
8. You can always be a kid. Even if you are an adult. Even if the obligations of your life are too overwhelming, find some time to play, to do something different. In other words, never cease amazing yourself. It is never too late to start ballet, roller skating or Chinese.
9. Having fun is obligatory, in every aspect of your life. Even though the environment may not help, you have to allow yourself to get at least something that you want. Make yourself happy. And happiness is a choice, it never comes by luck.
10. It is ok to cry. Never be ashamed of your feelings. Even when you believe that you should not, please cry. Nothing compares to the soothing effect that crying your heart out has. Then, when you think you’ve had enough, pack your dignity and go on.
11. Keep negative people away. When you realize that people close to you are not being honest, that are not happy for your happiness, or that they are not the friends you thought they were, do not be afraid to cut the cords and set yourself free from the relationship. People only take us so far. Do not hold yourself back in order to maintain an association.
12. Finding your style will take time. It does not have to magically appear when you are twenty, or thirty. It is a process that never ceases. All you have to do it appreciate your age and who you are. Do not expect to know everything about you today.
13. Be fresh and new like a summer breeze. Be happy, welcome graciously, smile gallantly and care for others. And never allow yourself to be caged, because a breeze in a tin always dies.
14. You are always free and full of choices. Keep in mind that you were born free and that you were brought in this life to make your own soundtrack. You can always do whatever you want to, even if you feel that your choices are limited.
15. Things are never black or white. Everybody has his own side of the story. If you can understand this, you can understand people. In my mother’s eyes, I was never right or wrong, which was infuriating at the time. However, if you come to think about it, she was right. The truth has a million faces.
16. Be curious. Read, study, train, laugh, travel, talk, dance, learn, live. In a world as colorful as ours, there is no place in life for boredom. Truth be told, not everyone can be a multitasker. It’s in your hands to have a full life though. So go on strong.
17. Forgive and forget. Life has its own way of repairing broken hearts. Do not allow hate to rest in your soul. Let things go, and it will all get better.
18. Be independent. It is your life, so it has to be your choices, your fulfillments, your job, your house, your money, your heart, your personal life, your body. There is no place for a “we” there. Be a whole person, not part of it. Be whole on your own, and the rest follow.
19. You are allowed to change your mind. Your truth, will always be the same, but opinions change. You learn, you think, you build up your mind, you change. Be open to new information.
20. Never lose your innocence. Always try to find and believe in the good. Like it or not, everybody has some goodness in them. So try to see that, and if they give you a reason to doubt them, move on.
A true friend, but not my friend, my Gemini mum has always be there, in the shadows, letting me grow on my own. Because, actually, she has always been there when I needed her, inspiring my every step by the way she led her life.