We’d definitely be stretching the truth if we were to declare that all women are flawless because as the truest of inner female circles knows, that’s far from the truth. Women can be catty, bratty, and even rude at times… but it’s all part of what makes us charming… right?
Wrong! The fact is that there are so many times a woman doesn’t realize what she’s doing, especially when it comes to nerves on the first date. All of a sudden, her brain turns into jelly, her legs go weak, and she’s struggling to find a single, non-awkward thought amongst a sea of panic.
Granted, not every woman will struggle to fill the empty space between herself and her date, but more often than not, it’s a process. The good news is that we’ve all been there and, luckily for us, there have been plenty of women with ‘oops’ moments who lived to tell the tale.
It’s their ‘oops’ moments that helped to contribute to this article, which is full of all the things that we’ve probably been guilty of. The trick is knowing what not to say because believe it or not, it could cost us that round two with our dream guy.
20‘Oh, I Don’t Care’
The one and only time we’re likely to ever see a guy roll his eyes uncontrollably is when the inevitable, ‘oh, I don’t care’ pops up in response to a question. If the meme culture going around on social media didn’t catch you up already, this is usually in response to a dinner date.
While there’s only a fifty-fifty chance that a guy is going to ask where his date wants to go, it’s not totally unheard of. If the one and only response she has is ‘I don’t know’, it comes off a bit as ‘I don’t care’, however unintentional it might be.
19Anything With The Words ‘Totes’, ‘Lit’, Or ‘Adorbs’, Because It’s Not Adorable
Oh boy, here we go. Although there are many positives of our generation, our skill (or lack thereof) for coming up with new vernaculars is definitely not one of them. The college terms may have gotten us brownie points during our spring break but aren’t that impressive on a first date.
Chances are that if we’re dressing up to go out on a first date, then there’s no room for words that haven’t even made it into the dictionary. Our dates don’t want to hear how ‘totes adorable’ our puppy is. They want to learn about us without the use of crazy slang.
18‘YOLO’ And ‘Getting Cray’ Are Not Ideal For The First Date
Whatever a woman does on the first date, the last thing she wants to do is allude to any type of crazy behavior. Call us old-school for this, but making it known that you have no issue with getting ‘cray’ is one-hundred percent the opposite of endearing.
We’re not saying that a woman should hide who she is or avoid the subject of what she does in her free time, but we are saying that a bit of decorum never hurts. There’s not nearly enough room for her, her date, and the term ‘YOLO’ at one dinner table… especially if it’s a high-top.
17‘Are You Listening?’
There’s a simple solution to this: if your date seems to be completely oblivious and is paying more attention to the screen over your head than you, then the date is pretty much over. That action in itself is so telling of both his priorities and his level of interest in his date. If there’s a crazy championship game going on, then it’s easy—don’t plan a date on that night.
There’s nothing worse than feeling as though you’re not interesting enough, but asking if he’s listening will only make things awkward. Wait until the date is over, then don’t contact him again.
16‘Do You Think So-And-So Is Pretty?’
It’s beyond us why anyone would feel comfortable enough asking this on the first date but hey, crazier things have happened. The last thing anyone should be doing is comparing themselves to another woman. Obviously, if your date asked you out, then they’re interested in you, not the woman sitting across the aisle.
This even goes for celebrities; the less time spent bringing up anything regarding looks, the better. The goal on a first date is to keep confidence high and be ourselves, not to lower self-esteem and create tension. Even if it’s just for fun, it’s not first date material.
15Bringing Up Politics On The First Date
It should go without saying but this is definitely the one unspoken rule when it comes to first dates: hot-button topics, such as politics, should definitely be on the back burner. When it comes to our generation, it can be tough as a millennial to avoid the topic altogether.
As old-fashioned as it seems to keep things light-hearted and fun, isn’t that what all first dates should be like? Diving into someone’s personal beliefs immediately is like starting a fire that you’re unsure if you’ll be able to put out; it makes things awkward and could definitely ruin the potential for date number two.
14‘Who Are You Texting?’
It’s simply none of our business who our date—not even our boyfriend yet—is texting. Granted, texting on a first date isn’t really the most respectful thing to do but once again, we don’t know the circumstances. A better alternative would be to ask if everything is alright, as that’s not exactly pointing the finger, but it does sound genuine.
Showing concern over showing how annoyed we are goes much further than sharp questions. If nothing else, it’ll make him realize that you notice his bad habit and hopefully he’ll get the point. If not, then maybe it’s just not meant to be.
13‘I Just Have To Take This Call/Text Really Fast’
If he’s giving us the courtesy of not interrupting the date to text or make phone calls then the least we can do is show him the same. Respect really goes both ways, especially on a first date. These days, it’s more than we can ask for to be with someone who pays more attention to us than their social media account, and that’s saying a lot.
If you’re sitting across from a guy who hasn’t checked his phone once, it doesn’t really seem fair for us to put a damper on the first date atmosphere. Barring an emergency, it just shouldn’t be done.
12Asking Questions During Movie Dates
This one is an age-old second-date destroyer that many girls are still so, so guilty of. Admit it—we all know that you’ve asked questions during a movie once or twice. In case you hadn’t noticed, the dark atmosphere and zero-noise policy in movie theaters are actually intended to deter people from having full-on conversations.
Not only is asking questions annoying to our dates but it’s also super annoying for the people sitting around us, too. If you know for sure that you’re not the type of gal who can be quiet for such a long period of time, then definitely stay away from the ‘dinner and a movie’ dates.
11‘I’m Totally Broke, Can You Get This One?’
Okay okay, it’s expected that a guy is the one who foots the bill on a first date. However, this logic is changing drastically as future generations decide to switch up the roles a bit. That means that there’s no guarantee now that two people on their first date can’t go Dutch when it comes to dinner, brunch, coffee, or whatever.
If this is the case, the last thing anyone wants to hear (especially at the end of the date) is whether or not they can foot the entire bill. Even worse, no one wants to hear that we’re ‘broke’ on the first date… It’s not really the best invitation for a second.
10‘What Took You So Long?’
We know it’s a challenge when a date shows up late to pick us up, but all we can do is cut him some slack. The truth is that we have no idea whether he’s coming straight from work, hitting traffic, got a case of the nerves, or is just a really slow driver. All of the above is totally excusable.
We’re far past the days when being late was fair ground for an attitude and as long as he’s apologetic, there’s nothing more we can do except forget about it and move on. If he’s late every single time the two of you are supposed to have a date, though… well, then that’s a bit of an issue.
9‘It’s True, I Swear!’ Embellishing Isn’t Cool
Think back to grade school. We all had that one frenemy who couldn’t help but polish off every single story she told, whether it meant attaching a white lie or one-upping us. It drove you crazy, right?
Well, think of how your date will feel when he’s sitting across from that same girl who’s now an adult. Needing to constantly embellish is a sign of insecurity within our own lives when, in reality, we should be confident on dates. We should be ourselves because just being us is what got us into a first date in the first place. Don’t be that girl.
8‘My Ex Really Messed Up My Life’
Talking about exes on a first date means walking a tricky tightrope. There is a fine line between too much information and playful small talk and sometimes, we tend to cross it without even realizing it. The rule of thumb is to save the super heavy stuff for dates later on and to keep the first-date ex-talk to a minimum.
It’s totally fine to share funny anecdotes and amusing ‘horror’ stories, but that’s about it. Anything past that is diving in way too deep and it can be tough to gauge whether or not a guy will actually be into what you’re saying, or be totally freaked out by it.
7‘Do You Want To Head Back To My Place After?’
Dang, girl! We totally believe in woman power and the idea of being our own person without society’s limitations, but if you’re looking for a second date, this miiight not be the way to get it. Coming off as too into a guy right off the bat will either a) weird him out quite a bit of b) give him the wrong impression.
If he gets the wrong impression and the two of you do end up going back to your place afterward… well, there’s just no guarantee that he’s going to call after that. It’s like jumping to the endgame without going through all the fun stuff that exists along the journey.
6‘Getting Married Is The Number One Goal On My List’
If it is then that’s fantastic, but it’s definitely not something that our dates need to know about. Not yet, anyway! Any talk of marriage or children, unless brought up by him first (weird, though) probably aren’t the type of small talk that will win us a second date. Marriage is a heavy topic and the truth is that not everyone wants it.
Throwing our expectations out there without even knowing his, or even really knowing him well at all, could be a recipe for a date-ending conversation. Things can get very awkward very quickly with a line like this, trust us.
5‘Oh Yeah, I Want ‘X’ Amount Of Kids’
Not much better is the ‘kids’ talk. There’s literally no reason to bring up how many kids you see yourself having in the future, and we can’t even think of a conversation that could segue into that topic. It’s the kind of thing that will likely garner a response that’s something like, ‘oh… well that’s cool’, even though he doesn’t think it’s ‘cool’ in any way, shape, or form.
With the heavy topics, it’s best to leave them out especially if we don’t really know our date that well yet. There’s plenty of time for kid talk—like, you know, after you’ve been together for more than a week.
4‘Things Haven’t Really Been The Greatest Lately…’
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with talking about the goings on in our lives on a first date. The problem comes when we talk about things that can really bring down the atmosphere and put our dates in an awkward position. Part of the fun when it comes to getting to know someone is the mystery.
What do they do in their day to day life? What kinds of hobbies and interests do they have? Do they have any talents? What’s their family like? What do they do for a living? Any one of these things could easily go south when spun in a negative way, and that’s something we definitely want to try and avoid.
3‘Did Anyone Ever Tell You That You Look Like So-And-So?’
What might come off as a cute compliment could just be awks in the making. Complimenting someone in this way can be tricky without fully knowing if they’ll view it as a compliment or a one-sided jab.
While it’s more likely that he’ll laugh it off, it could be that the person you’re comparing him to is someone he can’t stand. Or, even worse, it could be that he hears the very same thing eight times throughout the day. It’s better just to avoid being that person and instead compliment him on how great he looks, sans any celebrity reference.
2‘My Family/Friends All Thought You Were Super Cute’
Uh, hello, kind of creepy? As much as we might think we’re helping by telling our dates how great everyone else thought he looked, it definitely comes off as weird. In the days of social media, it’s all too easy to pull up a picture of someone to show our vast network of family and friends. The last thing most of us want, however, is to get caught doing so.
Guys probably won’t think it’s cute if they found out what we did behind the scenes, and getting our best friends’ approval before dating someone is something we should keep under wraps.
1‘Does This Mean That We’re Exclusive Now?’
If this is a question that ever comes up on a first date, then we feel it is our duty to remind the world that no, a first date does not mean relationship. In fact, even a second or third date does not entail something exclusive. It’s only by about the third date when most of us feel that we’re finally beginning to get to know someone and even though texts now make that easier, those face-to-face dates still mean something.